It was easier said than done.
For the last week, I had been trying to make amends with my supposed husband. He had asked me to take some time off from work to rest up and said that he would work from home too, but I had barely even been able to see him at all this entire time.
It wasn't that he was neglecting me for anything. If anything, he was much more of a doting husband than I expected.
Although I rarely came face-to-face with him, he managed to guess all my needs before I said anything and somehow finish all the tasks for me before I even needed them.
He would prepare breakfast, handle the laundry, and clean the house to a nearly spotless state before I even woke up every day. All of my favorites would be left piping hot on the kitchen counter as if he knew exactly when I would come downstairs, but he was never present as I ate breakfast with Theo.
Not even a single glimpse of his towering figure.
Just like breakfast, all the other meals would also be prepared before I could even get started on them, containing all my favorites, like an array of seafood dishes or desserts centered around strawberries.
And not once did he ever eat with me.
The only reason why I knew he was still in the house was that I would still occasionally see his dirty laundry in the hamper or hear the water running from somewhere else in the house.
And based on what Theo told me and the state of the closet, he used to share the bedroom that I was currently staying in with me, but I had yet to see him ever enter the room.
It wasn't that I was all that keen on the idea of sharing a bed with a man I barely knew, but I hadn't even seen him come in to get a change of clothes once. A few days ago, I even tried sitting in my room the entire day in hopes of catching him, but he never came.
In the handful of times that I did manage to catch a glimpse of his back in the hallways, he would always disappear before I could catch him.
Theo eventually confessed that his dad was hiding in his home office, showering in the bathroom attached to his office and sleeping on the pull-out couch in there.
It was quite clear that he was avoiding me.
So I was unequivocally surprised when he suddenly appeared in front of me one day.
He was dressed in a semi-formal outfit in pair of dark dress pants with a fitted white button-up and his sleeves neatly rolled halfway up his forearms. His hair was combed to the side, perfectly framing his sharp facial features.
Even though I had been trying to talk to him all week, I ended up staring at him silently in awe instead.
He wasn't dressed in anything fancy, but he truly was just as handsome as the papers had described him to be.
His eyes fluttered nervously under my gaze. Rubbing the back of his neck, he asked softly, "May I come in?"
I nodded mutely, unable to say anything at the sound of his husky voice.
He walked into my bedroom hesitantly before stopping a good distance in front of me. Fidgetting ever so slightly with the suit jacket draped over his arm, he explained, "I wanted to let you know that I will be out of the house for a couple of hours. There's something I need to handle... But my guards will continue to stay here to keep you safe. They are good at their job, so please rest assured."
I nodded again in understanding.
His lips parted ever so slightly as if he wanted to add something else, but he quickly shut his mouth again.
He looked as if he was going to rescind himself to say goodbye to me instead, but I didn't want him to leave so quickly already. Startling both him and myself, my uncontrollable mouth ended up abruptly shouting, "Wait!"
Demetrius halted mid-step and looked back at me in surprise. "Yes, Belle?"
My heart felt like it could jump out of my chest out of embarrassment at any moment. What was I thinking? Shouting at him like that?
He must've thought I was going crazy, but this was my chance to ask him why he had been avoiding me.
Holding my hands tightly to my chest in an attempt to calm my heart, I tried to push out my question, "Y-You... I-I... Um..."
He raised an eyebrow. "Is something wrong, Belle?"
I squeezed my eyes shut and blurted out, "C-Can I make dinner t-today?"
My eyes widened when I realized I had asked the wrong question.
Not realizing my internal dilemma, Demetrius softened at the sound of my uncontrollable stutter and replied, "Everything in this house belongs to you, Belle. You don't need to ask for my permission for anything."
I nodded solemnly.
I messed up! That wasn't the question that I wanted to ask him.
"Please don't push yourself too hard while I'm gone... I'll be back in the evening..."
I perked up at the sound of his retreating footsteps. Was he leaving already?
But before my lips could even part in an effort to protest, he already closed the door behind him with a soft "Goodbye, Belle."
I faltered mid-step once the door clicked shut.
I wanted to talk to him a bit longer. At the very least, I wanted to ask him to have dinner with me, but I had missed my chance once again.
I sighed at the thought as I made my way back to my reading chair.
He was keeping such a large distance between us. Was he doing it out of consideration for me? Out of fear of triggering me again?
Though I appreciate the thought, I didn't want us to stay estranged from each other forever. On the off chance that my memories would never come back, I wanted to rebuild our relationship.
We were husband and wife.
Surely I would be able to fall in love with him a second time if I already did it once. Not that it should be all too hard by the looks of how respectful and ridiculously handsome he was.
I was actually still in minor disbelief that I managed to somehow reel in such a good man.
I just needed to learn how to get over my fear.
With a newfound confidence, I plucked my recipe book out of the corner of my room and made my way downstairs into the kitchen. All the countertops were spotless like usual.
I made a note to myself to thank Demetrius later for keeping the house so clean, among all the other things that I wanted to talk to him about. I was truly grateful to have such a helpful partner, but I haven't been showing him how much it meant to me.
Thus, I wanted to at least make his favorite food for dinner as a small thank you.
As I flipped through my cookbook, it slowly dawned on me that I had no clue what Demetrius liked to eat. He had been making all my favorites this last week, so I had no clue what his preferences were.
Wallowing in my self-pity, I didn't realize that I was no longer alone until I felt a small tug on the hem of my shirt.
I glanced over to my side and found Theo peering over the counter curiously. "Are you making dinner today, mom?"
I nodded quietly and confessed, "Your dad is going to be out of the house for the day, so I thought I could make something nice for him while he was gone..."
He hummed softly. "What are you going to make?"
"I, Uh..." I looked away sheepishly, "I'm actually not sure what I am going to make... I don't know what he likes..."
"He likes your kisses more than anything else," he muttered mindlessly as he flipped a few pages in my cookbook.
My cheeks turned red at his words.
I wasn't even sure if he had realized what he said, but he eventually stopped on a page near the end of my book, indicating that it was a recently learned recipe. He pointed to the title and said, "But he also likes your hayashi rice. He says that you make it slightly sweeter than other places."
I skimmed the page, not quite recognizing the recipe, but soon realized that I had only added this recipe to my book 3 months ago based on the date noted at the top. Including the time it would take to make a shortcut demiglaze sauce, the entire recipe would take about 7 hours to make.
It didn't seem like something I would usually make...
Did I learn this recipe for Demetrius?
Would he smile at me again if I made it for him?
Even though he was still mostly just a stranger who I shared a house with right now, I still couldn't help feeling excited at the thought of being able to please my husband.
My heart fluttered ever so slightly at the possibility.
I pulled out the ingredients for the recipe and got started on setting up the demiglaze sauce first.
Browning my vegetables and then adding the beef stock to reduce in the oven for a few hours.
Then making the brown roux for the sauce.
Combing the educated stock and the roux, letting it simmer for a bit longer to thicken.
Making a pot of fresh white rice.
Prepping the ingredients for the actual dish. Thinly sliced beef. Shimiji and button mushrooms. Onions, garlic, tomato paste, red wine, Worcestershire sauce, soy sauce, ketchup, brown sugar, and a bay leaf.
Simmering the ingredients in the finished demiglaze sauce for another few hours until it was all soft.
By the time I finished everything, the sun had already started setting, and my forehead was slightly sweaty from the heat of the stove.
I glanced at the clock and decided that I could spare at least half an hour to shower, change and make it back downstairs before Demetrius arrived.
I wanted to be here when I surprised him with his favorite dish.
Setting my apron aside, I hurried up the stairs into my bedroom. I took a quick shower and took extra care to make sure I was as clean as possible. Drying my hair with care to prevent it from becoming frizzy. Using a thin layer of makeup. Picking out a white A-line chiffon lace dress.
I took a twirl in front of my mirror as a final check, pleased with how everything turned out.
I could only hope that he would think the same. That he would think that I was just as attractive as I found him.
When the shorthand of the clock struck 7, I scurried back downstairs and set up three sets of plates on the dining table.
Theo's eyes widened when he walked into the dining room. He rounded the corner to my side and asked curiously, "Is today a special day? It seems fancier than usual."
My face heated up in embarrassment from being caught by my own child. I stammered, "I-I wanted to show my... thanks for how well Demetrius had been treating me this last week and try to improve my relationship with him... Do you think it's enough?"
He nodded and replied, "You don't need to worry so much. Dad would also be just as happy even if you didn't make anything for him and simply called him Metri again..."
"... Was that my nickname for him?"
He nodded again as he climbed onto the countertop and dipped his fingertip into the pot, tasting the sauce. "He liked it a lot. He used to follow you around everywhere, kind of like a lost puppy, but he told me that he was going to stop for now since you don't really remember him right now, and he doesn't want to pressure you. But at the same time, he was worried about you getting lonely, so he told me to spend a bit more time with you."
"Oh... I thought that he was avoiding me because I was no longer the person he loved..."
A loud clank echoed through the empty kitchen. "What are you talking about?!"
I immediately straightened up at his unexpected outburst and stammered, "I-I don't have any of our shared memories together a-anymore, so I t-thought that he might've thought of me as just a stranger who he was stuck with now..."
"How can you say something like that?!" he exclaimed angrily. Flicking me harshly on my forehead, he explained firmly, "Dad still loves you just as much as before, even though you can't stand being near him anymore. He constantly calls me to his office to ask about your day, whether you liked the food he made for you, if you felt lonely, whether you were hurt anywhere, if you wanted something and a whole lot more. It's as if you are the only thing on his mind these days. He can barely even concentrate on his work, and I feel like my brain is going to burst if he interrogates me about you anymore!"
I winced in pain from his flick and clamped my hands over my throbbing forehead. "But he can't even look me in the eye anymore..."
"That's just because he's stupidly stubborn and blames himself for your injuries!"
"But it wasn't his fault? The doctors said that I fell down the stairs at my office with only a concussion as my main injury."
He pursed his lips, faltering momentarily before replying, "He just does, okay?"
Surprised by his sudden change in attitude, all I could do was offer a nod in understanding.
Deciding not to push it any further, I changed the subject and asked him, "Do you want to have dinner first? It seems like Demetrius won't be back until later."
He glanced at the clock with the shorthand on the 9, nodding when his stomach gave a small grumble in reply.
He watched as I pulled out a plate to serve him some the hayashi mixture across a bed of steaming white rice and asked, "Are you going to eat too?"
I shook my head as I handed the plate to him along with a spoon, "I'll wait for Demetrius."
He nodded as he dug into his food, humming happily when the deep sauce hit his taste buds.
The rest of the night went by quietly as I cleaned up Theo's plate after he finished and went upstairs with him to tuck him into bed.
I wasn't sure where Demetrius was, but I opted to rest on the sofa in front of the fireplace in the living room downstairs. Buried under a thick blanket, I kept myself occupied with a book as I waited for him to come home.
Several hours passed by.
I became slightly more anxious with each passing hour as the sky turned pitch black.
By the time he came back, the moon was already high in the sky, but I was just relieved that he was alright.
I bolted up from my spot on the sofa the moment I heard the front door click open. With all my previously built-up courage and the overwhelming worry about his well-being, I completely forgot about my irrational fear as I eagerly made my way into the foyer.
However, it all went out the window the moment my eyes landed on him.
His hair was no longer in its neat condition from when he left his house early today. Instead, it was ruffled every which way, mimicking the way the top few buttons of his shirt were haphazardly thrown open.
His shirt was completely crinkled, unlike its previously ironed state, and slightly pulled out of his touser as if it had been untucked at some point in the day before being carelessly put back into place.
But most of all, he was in a completely different shirt from this morning. Although it was also a white shirt, the buttons and cuffs were in a slightly different style.
He rolled his shoulder back with much more relaxed facial features than this morning.
Coming home so late at night...
Just where did he go...
My hands clenched against my chest as a pestering thought popped into my mind.
I stepped out into the foyer solemnly, making my presence known.
He looked up from his spot, lips parting wordlessly, surprised by the sight of my figure.
Shuffling from one foot to another, I greeted nervously, "Welcome home, Demetrius..."
As if the sound of my voice snapped him out of his shock, he replied, "I'm home."
I bit my lip, feeling my confidence drain under his gaze.
He shrugged his coat off quickly, taking no mind of his messy shirt as he walked up to me. Stopping an arm's length away from me, he ask worriedly, "Is something wrong, Belle? You don't usually stay up this late at night."
Was he hoping that I would be asleep so I wouldn't notice his late return?
I shook my head meekly. "Nothing's wrong... I-I just wanted to wait for you..."
His features softened ever so slightly. "Thank you, Belle, but you don't need to do this for me... I don't want you to exhaust yourself over my late schedule..."
But why was his schedule so late? It was nearly midnight already.
Even though I wanted to ask him that, I couldn't bring myself to actually ask him that question.
Instead, I nodded my head again and tried to cover my discontent with a weak smile, "I m-made dinner and saved a portion for y-you. I hope you will like it."
His head perked up ever so slightly.
"You did? Were you—" He started with a hopeful tone at the start but his voice faltered mid-sentence when he looked up. "Um... Never mind... Did you already eat?"
I lied, "Yeah..."
With a heavy heart, I nodded mutely to him in goodbye and turned around to leave, unable to handle his gaze for another moment longer.
He looked at me with such longing that it only reminded me that I wasn't the one he wanted.
I tried to believe what Theo had tried to tell me, but he was a child that desperately wished for his parents to stay together. There were some things that five year olds wouldn't be able to understand even if he was an academic genius.
It wasn't uncommon for men to seek solace in another when their partner was no longer there for them.
I knew that and even though I didn't have any particularly strong feelings for him, it still pained my heart to see him like that. But I still couldn't help hoping that he wouldn't try to find relief in another.
However, if this marriage was doomed to fall apart, I guess I couldn't blame him for seeking comfort from someone else...