"i don't wanna wait, not anymore. well, you see right through me."
---
y/n's pov
Despite it being a Wednesday, I hadn't left my bed all day.
I got changed in the morning, but I never went to class. I called the day off.
It had been one whole year.
"Y/N, can you get Wes on the phone?"
I slowly sat up, walking over to my closet and pulling out a red sweatshirt.
I still had most of his clothes with me.
"Hey, what's up? Why did you call me so many times?"
"Your mom called me. She sounded pretty freaked out. Why weren't you answering?"
"I was showering, is everything okay?"
I pulled the sweater on and started putting on my usual pair of sneakers.
Tying the laces, my mind wandered again.
"Cool. We could watch Netflix until 3 am together."
"Sounds like a plan."
The phone call haunted me often. I thought about it a lot.
How his voice faded away into a gurgle as he yelled his last words.
"Fuck you!"
The chilling voice that followed as I screamed into the phone.
"Wes can't come to the phone right now."
As I stood up and left my dorm, I remembered how fast I had run to get to the Hicks' house, just to be too late.
I locked my door behind me and headed down the hall to Chad's room, tears uncontrollably spilling from my eyes as I held back sobs.
I knew it would be a hard week, but I didn't expect to cry. Not the way I was.
I knocked on the dorm room's door, hearing music in the background.
I knew Chad's timetable, and he didn't have any classes at that point in time.
The door swung open, and instead of the boy I expected to see, I was met with Ethan.
I quickly wiped the tears away from my eyes and he gave me a concerned look.
"Y/N, are you okay?"
---
A little while after he let me in, Ethan and I were both lying upside down on his double bed that sat in the corner of the room.
He couldn't find any tissues, so I was wiping my eyes and blowing my nose on a roll of toilet paper.
Whatever music he had been listening to was still playing, but left unnoticed in the background.
"You know, me and my boyfriend used to do this stuff." I sighed. "Just lie around in silence and listen to music."
"It's nice." Ethan turned his head to look at me. "Is that why you're upset? Because of him?"
"Yeah." I nodded, my eyes felt raw but dry. "I really miss him."
Silence for a moment as the song faded away.
"You know, I never really told anyone this." I sighed. "I mean, I might've mentioned something to Mindy after it happened, but I heard him die."
"What?"
"I was on the phone with him when it happened. I listened to him shout and try to fight, and I heard him die." I turned my head and looked at Ethan, who was staring at the ceiling. "I couldn't even do anything. God, he didn't even do anything to her."
"Who?"
"Amber. She was the one to kill him." I frowned. "Well, I assume. Amber was the one who attacked Tara at the hospital after, so..."
I noticed Ethan had turned to look at me as he listened.
"Amber could be mean to Wes a lot, but he was always nice to her. Then she killed him." I then pat my leg. "She's also the reason I have my limp."
Ethan made a confused face.
"You have a limp?"
"Don't tell me you didn't notice it. Everyone's always asking me 'Oh, Y/N, why're you limping? What happened? Blah, blah, blah.'" I shook my head. "It's because Amber shot me. Twice actually. Once here." I pointed to the back of my leg, my scar covered by my jeans. I then slightly lifted my shirt to show him the scar on my stomach. "And here."
He lifted himself up and rested on his elbow, his head leaning on his left hand and the fingers of his right started tracing along the scar.
Usually, I think, I would've felt uncomfortable. I probably would've pushed him away.
But something about Ethan and his touch was nice. It felt more comforting than anything.
"I'm glad you're okay now." He spoke softly and I met his eyes.
"Why? You barely know me."
"Yeah, but you said it yourself. We're friends." His voice spoke softly. "And I wouldn't know you at all if you had died."
"I'm sorry for talking so much." I apologized. "I've just had so much shit going on in my mind."
"It's fine." He replied quickly. "I mean, I like hearing you talk."
I sat up slowly and stared into his eyes. My stomach had filled with butterflies, and in that moment, I couldn't fight the overwhelming urge to kiss him.
"What?" He asked, chuckling.
Before I could stop myself, I leaned forward and pressed my lips against his.
After a few seconds, I pulled away. He sat there with wide eyes and a small smile pulling on his lips.
In that moment, I didn't think about Wes, or what day it was. The only thing in my head was Ethan.
Ethan, Ethan, Ethan.
I leaned forward again and he did the same, our lips connecting halfway.
My hands moved up and wrapped around his neck, and his hands moved to my waist.
The kiss deepened and I moved closer to him, our chests touching.
He stared to lean back down on the bed, pulling me down with him as his fingers brushed against my scar, tickling my stomach.
What was just one kiss ended turning into a heated make out session between us.
My hands tangled in his curls as his hands reached up and down my back.
"Hey, I'm ba-- WHAT THE FUCK?"
We jumped apart to see Chad standing at the doorway with wide eyes.
That's when I realized what had happened.
I kissed Ethan.
And I didn't totally hate it.
He clearly didn't either, because he was sitting on his bed with a dopey grin as Chad started to pretend gag.
"Ugh. That's a sight I will never unsee." Chad whined. "Jesus Christ, guys."
Ethan's face was bright red, and my stomach swarmed with butterflies.
Stop, stop, STOP IT.
Why would you do that, you idiot?
I knew Ethan liked me. The thing was, I liked him, too.
I kept on trying to avoid and deny it, but I couldn't.
I quickly stood up and hurried out of the dorm without another word.
Because then I started to think.
What about Wes?