"when we first dropped our bags on apartment floors
took our broken hearts, put them in a drawer"
---
y/n's pov
"You guys managed to score a nice place." Mindy nodded as we looked around Sam and Tara's new apartment. "It's pretty big."
Originally, it was just going to be Tara's apartment. Until Sam decided to follow us to New York.
"That's what she said." Chad snickered and Mindy slapped his arm.
"Hey, did you guys manage to find a roommate?" I asked and Sam nodded.
"Yeah, her name's Quinn." Tara replied, stirring something in a pot on the stove. "She moves in tomorrow."
"She seems pretty cool." Sam added.
"Speaking of roommates..." Chad looked up from his phone. "Mine's a total nerd."
"Oh, come on, Chad. Leave the guy alone." Mindy rolled her eyes.
"I'm not even kidding. Absolute loser. Kinda reminds me of..." Chad cleared his throat, glancing at me for a split second. "But it's just the nerd thing, really."
"Hey, Tara, what are you making?" I asked, changing the subject and avoiding a really awkward silence.
"Pasta." She answered. "Gotta impress my guests with my great cooking."
Sam frowned. "She almost burnt the place down last night."
---
We all ate dinner together and then sat down to watch a movie, because the Carpenters had barely anything but basic furniture in their apartment at this point.
None of us wanted to watch horror. Especially not after living it nine months earlier.
We settled on a comedy. Some Netflix movie none of us had seen.
"Hey, I might've burnt the popcorn a little." Chad stated as he came in with a bowl.
I felt myself tense. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
"Beware, it probably tastes disgusting."
"It's actually not that bad."
"Were you seriously doubting my popcorn making skills? 'Cause I'm an excellent popcorn maker and this is proof."
"Sure you are."
I remembered that night perfectly, like it was yesterday. That was the last night my life felt normal.
Wes and I had a sleepover, we watched movies, kissed, and he burned the popcorn.
"You okay, Y/N?" Tara's voice caught my attention and I looked to my left to see all four of my friends looking at me.
"Yeah." I put on a smile.
"Was it..?"
"Wesley? Yeah." I grabbed a few pieces of popcorn and looked back to the tv. "I'm fine."
Calling him Wesley was my way of acting like it wasn't as big of a deal as it really was. I mean, I would only ever call him that in a teasing way.
He was always my Wes.
My Wes.
I picked up my phone.
I hadn't changed my lock screen since he died. It was still the same picture it had been since last June.
Wes and I, together. His cheek was pressed against mine as he grinned, his eyes squeezed shut. His hair was still its original dark brown, before he had bleached it.
I was beside him, smiling just as hard as he was.
Wes' arm was over my shoulder, and he pulled me closer to him.
There was nothing special about that day. It was just some day.
The picture was taken in his bedroom while all we had been doing was lying around and listening to music.
Now, looking back, that day was one of the best of my life, purely because he had been there.
Wes had been in my life for the first 17 years of it, and now he was gone.
"Um, I'm just gonna go to the bathroom." I stated, standing up and slipping my phone into my — Wes' — sweater pocket. "You guys can leave the movie on."
I limped out of the room, (thanks a lot, Amber) and made my way into the bathroom.
I sat on the toilet lid as my breaths grew shaky.
Why was this so difficult?
Almost daily, little random things would remind me of Wes, then I would either zone out or have some kid of mental breakdown.
That was why I was hiding in my friends' bathroom, sobbing.
"Hey, Y/N?" Chad's voice came through the door as he knocked gently. "You alright?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." I tried to keep my voice as normal as possible, but I couldn't help the sniffle that followed.
"Okay, bullshit. Let me in."
With a sigh I unlocked the door and Chad walked in. He took one look at the tears in my eyes and pulled me into a hug.
My relationship with Chad was weird.
The two of us had never been close. Tara was my best friend, Wes was my boyfriend, Mindy was my movie buddy, and Chad?
We never really bonded over anything, except for making fun of Wes.
But since everything that happened at Amber's house, we became close friends.
Trauma bonding, or something.
"How'd you get over it so quickly?" I asked between tears. "Liv?"
"It takes time, Y/N." He ran a hand through my hair comfortingly. "Liv and I? We weren't like you and Wes."
"What do you mean?"
"Like, I loved Liv, you know?" He pulled back from our hug. "But you and Wes... you guys were in love, and you were for, like, years. It's just gonna be harder for you."
"I hate that." I wiped the tears away from my face. "God, I hate this."
"It'll get better eventually. I'm sure of it." His voice was honest. It was soothing. I smiled softly.
"You're sure of it?" I asked.
"Yeah. You deserve it."
"Thanks, Chad." I laughed. "Hey, what are the others doing right now?"
"Probably waiting for our return." He offered me his arm. "Shall we?"
I smiled in amusement and took his arm. "We shall."
---
"It's been waiting for you. Welcome to New York, welcome to New York." I sang quietly as I walked home with Mindy and Chad.
Our dorms were all in the same building, Mindy and I, luckily, being roommates.
"Dude, please stop with the Taylor Swift." Mindy groaned as we entered the building. "We've been here for a week."
"Okay, boring."
I started humming along to the song and Chad grinned as we headed upstairs.
"Oh, my God. Please sto-- Anika." Mindy smiled at the girl who walked downstairs.
"Hey, Mindy." She smiled as she passed us.
Once we got to Chad's dorm room, he started teasing Mindy.
"'Anika.'" He put on a high-pitched voice and laughed loudly. "'Hey, Mindy.'"
"Shut up." Mindy rolled her eyes. "Now go away."
"No, you go away. This is my dorm."
"He's got a point there."
"See! Y/N agrees." He started waving his hands at us. "Shoo. Go."
The dorm room door swung open, and a curly-haired boy stood there dressed in a Star Wars pyjama set.
"Dude, be quiet." He frowned.
"Aw, sorry, Ethan. Did we interrupt your beauty sleep, Skywalker?" Chad asked and Ethan looked down at his pyjamas before looking back at the three of us with blush tinting his cheeks.
"Whatever." He met my eyes and blushed harder. I scrunched my face in confusion as he walked back into the room and dropped onto his bed on the right side of the room.
"That's Ethan. Told you he was a nerd." Chad whispered before walking into the room. "See you, guys."
"Mhm. Bye, Chad." I shook my head.
He closed the door and Mindy sighed.
"That Ethan guy being stuck with Chad. Poor kid." She said and we headed down the hall towards our room.