Can't be bothered to read through everything I wrote, so I am writing this off memory alone.
Ch.0:
Tried to establish characters and their relationships before diving into the main story, to better hit home how being isekai'd affected them.
I figured D would actually interact with her classmates, while causing drama in subtle ways.
Probably should expand this part for the rewrite, especially for certain characters' sake.
I feel like Kumoko isn't wacky enough here, and a bit too sentimental, but what do you think?
Ch.1:
Survival horror, more like survival comedy with a hint of tragedy.
Really leaning into the whole 'living life to the fullest' thing, a line that should have been way more important in the original.
I should have done more to show the trauma of surviving in the labyrinth, offset by Kumoko using humour to distract herself from it, well, more like ignoring it.
Ch.2:
This part is mostly just a retelling of the original, with bits of details change here and there.
Did my best with the split personalities that came with [Multi-Minds] to better highlight aspects of Kumoko's character, and to write dynamics between them.
I really need to establish proper Stat sheets and the Spells for the Magic Skills for the rewrite, they should come in handy when checking what characters can and cannot do.
Ch.3:
The part where things finally diverge, kind of, more like exploring elements left untouched in the original.
Kumoko being mad that she has to deal with the consequences of other people's actions in the original, while understandable and relatable, is a bit weak.
It is funny in a way, but ultimately adds little to nothing for her narrative.
So I tried to dig deeper, and made it so it is all her pent up frustrations with humanity exploding out, and how this is actually really bad for her.
I then added Feirune in, serving to explore Kumoko's character further.
Kumoko sparing Araba was done for the sake of later chapters, where she will then have more opportunities to grow, or fail and then grow.
I think I did a pretty good job here with Kumoko, but feel free to rain on my parade.
I want to show more of Kumoko and Feirune interacting pre-[Taboo], but this chapter is already getting too long in my opinion, to better establish how Kumoko passed on her wisdom to Feirune.
Should I just go for it in the rewrite? Make it way longer than the two chapters preceding it?
Characters:
Having spent so long on this, I now have a better idea for what I want to do with these characters.
Prince - Shunsake Yamada / Schlain Zagan Analeit:
I have big plans for him, but they won't start until the late game.
Tried to show that he is a bit of a fanboy of amazing people, as well as his sense of responsibility.
There is also his, um, 'unaggressiveness', is that a word?
Anyway, his bad habit of hoping for the best because he is unwilling to be confrontational is something he must learn to overcome over the course of the story, and readapt into the ability to see the best in people and draw it out of them, a different kind of Hero from Julius.
Need to better show his 'ability' to see through people to their core while missing the oblivious in the rewrite.
Hero - Julius Zagan Analeit:
Objectively the best boy, and I see no need to change him.
Which is unfortunate because he deserves a better ending than dying on the battlefield after seeing his love die there too.
Anyone got any ideas?
Half-Elf - Anna:
I want to explore the themes of motherhood and outliving those you care for with her.
Which is gonna be hard because if it isn't obvious enough, I am no mother nor am I old enough to witness generations pass by me.
Advisor - Kanata Ooshima / Karnatia Seli Anabald:
Inspired by skyGaia's stories, go check them out, I wanted a more in depth exploration of her discovering / accepting herself as a girl all along.
Something something, you shouldn't let what you are define who you are.
Also what it means to take care of someone, i.e. being overprotective and sheltering someone from harm isn't that good for them.
I completely failed to show her grieving the loss of her old life, or at least explain why she doesn't seem to care.
Oni - Kyouya Sasajima / Razraz / Warth:
Not too happy with where his characterisation is right now, a little too 'perfect' if you know what I mean.
I want a story about someone learning to tame his emotions instead of fighting them, so he may use them constructively instead of going out of control, becoming destructive.
In other words, his secret is that he is always angry.
That bit about liking cute things feels super weird looking back on it, could have worded it better.
Teacher - Kanami Okazaki / Filimos Harrifenas:
A tale of desperation and regret, in the unfairest of circumstances, and eventually learning to forgive herself for the cruel responsibility placed on her.
Her chapters felt hollow though, I should have tried to mention the other students more.
Elf - Potimas:
I hate writing him, because I hate him, because he is too good of a villain.
Well, the other reason I hate writing him is because of the finer details.
The timeline, the tech, the operations, I am gonna be so glad when he finally dies.
Leader - Sachi Kudo / Lider Svoboda:
Betrayed multiple times, seeks to live selfishly.
But a perfectionist at heart, she sees the problems that plague the world and can't help but wish to fix them.
Her arc will be about finding the balance between living for herself and upholding a responsibility, the work life balance basically.
Her chapters are probably the worst written though, literally all tell and barely any show.
I even wasted her ch0 chapter using her as a third person perspective!
And I had her just stand by and do nothing! Which is not in character for her at all!
Dreamer - Yuika Hasebe / Yuri Ullen:
I hated her in the original, her inclusion feels pretty pointless and underused there.
This time around, her devotion is done out of fear for the existence of higher beings, something that will drive a lot of internal conflict when she doesn't agree with the religion.
She will one day find peace despite the fact that there will never be true safety, and spread the message.
Still need to figure out the whole 'dreamer' thing, overactive imagination maybe? That might be too hard for me to write well, as with most things.
Saint - Yanna Ullen:
She is gonna be to Yuri what Julius is to Shun.
Also gonna explore clashing religious beliefs between the Word of God and Goddess Faith, how she will come to prioritise doing the right over her religious duty.
I think I am doing well with her chapters so far.
Vampire - Shouko Negishi / Sophia Keren:
What do you want me to say? Sophia is as Sophia does.
But I suppose I want to do more with the 'ugly on the inside' thing and her belief that she will always be ugly on the inside is what holds her back from improving as a person.
And unlearning that to accept yourself is hard, it feels wrong to be good, it feels wrong to be liked, to give people a reason to like you feels like a crime, isn't it better that they hate you, better yet that they finally give up on you and toss you out?
Yeah, this is gonna be a little personal.
I don't see any problems with her chapters so far tbh.
Butler - Merazophis:
I am gonna explore the themes of fatherhood with him and the struggles that come with having an impossibly difficult daughter figure.
Again, I don't see any problem with his chapters so far.
Ninja - Shinobu Kusama / Sajin Scath:
The funny man, who is very irresponsible and has a bit of a 'nice guy' problem.
He only does things expecting something in return, but at least he knows this.
Unfortunately, this just means he knows he is a loser at heart.
Combined with the fact he is overlooked and overshadowed by others all the time, he doesn't take himself seriously, or take his actions seriously.
It will cause problems, and he will have to grow up from hilariously pathetic simp to comic relief chad.
Need to better show that 'nice guy' problem in the rewrite.
Spy - Kenichi Ogiwara / Ugio Bialann:
I am still not sure what to do with him in terms of character, and for that matter, there isn't much that can happen in the Elf Village where his character can grow, at least, I haven't come up with any good ideas yet.
Can't address problems in the rewrite if I have no plan for him to begin with.
Runner - Kouta Hayashi / Mach Bauernhof:
'If I am not the best at what I do, then what's the point?'
He is wrong and he will learn that in due course.
I also wanted a proper rival for Sophia and Mach is my solution.
His more darwinistic side is something I came up with in his latest chapter, so I need to show it in the earlier chapters in the rewrite.
That and further flesh out his backstory.
Crier - Naofumi Kogure / Baum Atmos:
His inclusion should make the stories at the Demon Academy more interesting.
Something about masculinity, and how he should stop worrying about it.
His chapters post isekai can use more show don't tell.
And of course, his backstory needs fleshing out.
Go-getter - Kunihiko Tagawa / Grom Energich:
A pretty generic revenge story, with the same old moral of letting go of the past to move forward.
Funny how the guy so ready to leave his past life behind would be stuck in the past later.
Can do with fleshing out his backstory more, even if his past life is supposed to be boringly normal.
Slacker - Asaka Kushitani / Tayfun Len:
Ruthless, selfish logic to focus on the future.
Suppressing all emotions to avoid pain, does all she can to secure a future for her and Kunihiko.
The opposite of him focusing too much on the past, she focuses too much on the future and is kind of a control freak.
She must learn to let go of her obsession with control and face the uncertain future hand in hand with other people.
I want to flesh out her backstory more, but the whole point of her is that she lived a lazy life devoid of pretty much everything in her past so there isn't much to write about.
Emperor - Kengo Natsume / Hugo Biant von Renxandt:
The spoiled rich kid, but not evil at heart.
His story doesn't really start until much later, like a few others.
He has to accept the reality of the situation and live for his dead best friend eventually, that's the plan anyway.
Need to flesh out his backstory and especially his friendship with Issei.
Wizard - Ronandt Orozoi:
'Humility isn't thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.'
Nuff said I think.
I need to iron out the details of the magic system so I can use him to better explore what the normal perspective on Magic is in the isekai world and how it changes.
Summoner - Buirimus:
Let's be honest here, he is just a plot device with a tragedy attached.
A good tragedy though, completed with major collateral damage.
I want to better use him to explore how the wider world sees Monsters.
Commander - Tiva Viscow:
Another tragedy, a mentor figure death kind too.
I see no need to change his story, unfortunately.
I guess I want to better explore the political situation in the empire with him.
Adventurer - Jeskan:
The cool uncle, so to speak.
Better explore the lives of Adventurers with him, I guess.
Pope - Dustin (LXI):
An endless atonement, but can he rest peacefully in the end though?
Want to better explore how the world was changed by the system and how he is controlling it to prepare for the day the world returns to normal.
Taratect - Ariel:
Best grandma.
I want to explore more of what she is like before and after Kumokofication by Karada.
Dragon - Guliedstodiez / Kuro:
He is frustrating but relatable, stuck in the present, unable to move forward to risk making things worse for a chance at a better future.
Can't do much with him right now though.
Shielder - Hyrince Quarto:
Honestly, him and Kuro are so different it's hard to imagine them being the same person.
So I am just gonna treat him like he is his own person with knowledge of a God.
Apex - Araba:
He is gonna be the mentor and father figure to Kumoko going forward.
It should help her character development immensely.
Wyrm - Merei Shinohara / Feirune:
From dependent on others to someone reliable, that's my plan for her.
She is one of my favourites to write.
I just wish I had spent more time on her and Kumoko together pre-[Taboo].
Spider - Too many names:
The star of the show, the clown of fate, the...um...something of something to complete the rule of three.
So basically, she is everyone jammed into one character, with all their problems, just as D intended.
I want everyone's stories to feedback into hers so that she may soar high at the end as the best of them combined.
Sounds cheesy? Probably yeah, I can only hope it will feel earned by the journey's end.
Watch her as she joins the starlight.