Sorry for the late update but I had to study :D
I hope you are still here
Enjoy xx
The panic of realizing that one of their own had been intentionally left to die was slowly beginning to engulf all the players. While everyone else seemed to be gripped by fear and panic, Ippei appeared to be feeling something different. He looked sad and hopeless, and I wanted to help him, but I didn't know how to start. In these game conditions, asking, "Are you okay?" would sound strange and out of place.
"Hey, Ippei, I remember you mentioning you're an art student, right?" After some thought, I tried to start a conversation using information from our previous small talk. We were sitting on the floor in the main section while Chishiya stood up. "What's your major?"
"I'm studying fine arts but my area of interest is mostly painting," he replied, offering me a slight smile.
"Ah, that's interesting. You must really like it then."
He nodded. "Yeah, it was scary at first because it's not like being an engineer or a doctor, you know. But all my friends supported me, and now I feel like it was the right choice."
"That's great," I said, genuinely impressed. "I'm sure you're very talented."
Ippei blushed at my compliment, but I could tell he was pleased. "Thank you," he said, his eyes lighting up. "And what about you? Do you like to paint?"
I smiled. "I love art; I sometimes draw amateurish. I don't think I'm good at drawing, though."
Ippei clapped his hands excitedly, grinning widely. "That's okay! You should try drawing with me sometime. After this game, we can practice together. I'll teach you!"
I laughed at his enthusiasm and felt a warm sensation in my chest. It had been a while since I had laughed so genuinely that the sound of it felt unfamiliar to my ears. Ippei's infectious energy made me want to take him up on his offer. "That sounds like a fun idea," I said, smiling. "I would love to learn from you."
Ippei's smile grew even wider, and I felt happy knowing that I had made him so pleased. We chatted about art, and Ippei shared stories from his life in the real world. But my smile faded when I noticed Banda watching me from across the room. I felt uncomfortable with his intense gaze and quickly returned my attention to Ippei. However, as time passed, I couldn't shake off the feeling of being watched.
I discreetly glanced at Banda again and found him staring at me intensely again, his eyes seeming to bore into my soul. I felt a shiver run down my spine, and my heart began to race. He tilted his head with a slight smile and then left the guardroom, walking slowly towards the stairs going down. It felt like he wanted me to follow him. Although I didn't want to, I had to keep in mind our deal, so I said, "I should use the restroom," before standing up and going after Banda immediately.
I mentally prepared myself for him to try and scare me again. I was sure he enjoyed seeing me scared. As I walked down the corridor, searching for a clue as to where he might have gone, I thought about what tactics to use when facing him. So far, all the people who had died had fallen victim to either Urumi or Banda. But Urumi wasn't the jack because if this was a heart game, the jack wouldn't make himself an easy target or play his cards openly to the whole group. Banda's method was different from Urumi's, and that's why he was my number one suspect.
And that's why, although I didn't want to talk to him, I couldn't ignore the possibility that he might be Jack. Even if he could physically harm me, I reminded myself that he couldn't kill me. He didn't know me, so he couldn't do anything other than scare me psychologically. Everyone was panicking, and no one was thinking logically about finding the jack. I felt claustrophobic in this place and wanted to do something.
Lost in thought, I was suddenly pulled into the bathroom. I was about to scream, but a hand covered my mouth and turned it into a muffled moan. My back slammed against the cold wall, and the door closed with a loud sound. Banda, the person responsible for the chaos, was standing before me.
"Shh," he whispered, his hand still over my mouth and nose. "Calm down, baby. You don't want another panic attack, right?"
I shook my head vigorously, my eyes wide open because of the turn of events.
"Good," he said, stepping back, giving me some breathing space. But he was still too close, and since my back was against the wall, I couldn't move away.
''You don't have to scare me like that. I understood you want me to follow you,'' I said after I sighed, annoyed.
His eyes lit up, and he let a slight chuckle out. ''But I really like it when your eyes fill with terror.'' he spoke under his breath with an eerie calmness of his voice that sent chills down my spine. I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end, and I couldn't help but feel a sense of impending danger. My mind was shouting at me, saying 'run' multiple times, but as his fingers lightly touched my face, all I could do was trying not to tremble.
He was smiling while he was running his hand on my face, but after a few seconds, his gaze became menacing. "What is your plan, huh?"
"What plan?" I stuttered, feeling another wave of fear wash over me. His expression darkened, but his touch remained gentle. At first, I wanted to slap his hand away, but the overwhelming events unfolding caused my focus to shift.
"Even though you are terrified, you still come to me. Also, I still don't think you have a problem with your partners. And I haven't figured out what you have on your mind yet." While talking, he had pulled his hand from my face and put both of them on my shoulders harshly. He squeezed so hard, making me turn my back effortlessly. I squirmed in place and had to restrain myself, so I wouldn't groan in pain while letting him manhandle me. It bothered me to turn my back on him because I wouldn't be able to stop his attempts to hurt me, but it was a slight relief not to be directly under his gaze. "It doesn't matter, though, because I will keep telling you the truth." he continued; with every word, he leaned closer to my right ear. I was too stunned to speak at first, but the urge to escape from his disturbing touch and his presence surpassed me. I tried to be freed from his grip, but he held me firmly, immobilizing me because of the constant pain on my shoulders.
''Uh uh uh, you should listen while I am talking.''
His voice was low and menacing, with a hint of satisfaction as he spoke those chilling words. It was as if he took pleasure in causing fear and terror in others. It felt like if I gave him what he wanted and if he was the jack, he would wait till the end so he could enjoy more. Or at least until he was bored of me.
"I really like the fact that you owe me. And It wouldn't be good if you die before paying me back." he continued whispering this time. "You should trust me till the end so you won't die."
His threatening aura was too much for me to handle at that moment, and although I wanted this game to end soon, I didn't think it was worth inconveniencing myself like this.
''So we can have fun, right baby?''
His words were deliberate, each one enunciated with calculated precision, and every syllable seemed to carry a weight of its own. The calmness of his voice only made it more unsettling, as if he were a predator lying in wait for his prey. It was as if his voice had a hypnotic effect on me, drawing me deeper into a state of fear and anxiety. I knew I needed to get away from him as soon as possible, but I was frozen in place, unable to move or speak, this time because of his presence. Also, his voice had a powerful hold over me, and I was powerless to resist its effects.
He took one of his hands off my shoulder and pulled behind my collar harshly, making my head fall down to his shoulder, and his hand crept over my neck squeezing. ''You are Diamond again, by the way,'' he said, smiling sinisterly; his warm breath hit my face.
I was a trembling mess in his arms, and he was enjoying that.
''And you should calm down; your heart is beating too fast.'' He chuckled, pushing me slightly to get away from me, and walked to the door. ''Talk to you later,'' he smiled sincerely as if nothing had happened and left me.
After he left, I stood frozen for a few moments, trying to calm my racing heart and gather my thoughts. The encounter left me shaken to the core, and I couldn't help but wonder what he truly meant by having fun. The way he had spoken and touched me made me feel like I was just a pawn in his twisted game, and I couldn't shake the feeling of being trapped.
As I tried to process what had just happened, I couldn't help but feel a sense of dread and unease settle in the pit of my stomach. I knew I had to be careful around him and couldn't let my guard down even for a moment. I took a deep breath and shook off the fear that was still lingering within me. I knew I had to keep my wits about me and be prepared for whatever might come next. I had to stay strong and fight back against his manipulation and control.
But it was more complicated than I thought.
Without wasting time, I got out after him and headed to the pantry, not wanting to re-encounter him because he mostly spent his time in the guardroom.
The group members had already taken their seats at our usual table, and some were talking to each other. As I approached them to sit beside Ippei, I started to see his expression clearly, which was more wretched than before. I suspected something was up.
"There you are," Urumi said as she lifted her head and smiled at me. She was sitting on top of the table with her feet dangling.
I raised my eyebrow in response, curious. Were they waiting for me?
Although I stopped for a second, I didn't change my direction and say anything, still walking toward Ippei.
"I thought you had given up on your plan with the blue-shirt guy," she continued, "with umm... what was his name? Banda, right?"
I stopped again. My gaze first shifted unintentionally to Chishiya, who was watching me with a slightly raised eyebrow, and I sensed some surprise. "What are you talking about?" I asked, looking at her wearily. It was unclear where this would lead the conversation. So I just waited.
"We heard it all," she said, pointing to the woman in the orange blouse beside her. "I told them all about your plan. You've been cooperating with him from the beginning."
"Suppose I do, so what?" I raised my voice, annoyed. I wanted her to come to the point.
''Are you dumb?'' She sighed, jumped off the table, and walked towards Ippei, putting her hands on his shoulders to support him as she cared about him. She made a sad face, but it was so fake that I cringed internally. "As I said, I heard everything," she continued, her voice changing. "You think Ippei is the jack. He is acting innocent to hide himself, right? You two planning to kill him and then me. You said those exact words to him.'' She patted his shoulders, and I saw a few tears run down Ippei's cheeks.
Ah, please don't tell me you fell for the trick. Why?
I felt disappointment in my bones.
"She heard it too, right?"
"Yes," the woman hesitated for a few seconds looking at her. "The guy caught us, but we managed to escape. So we're not safe either."
I blinked a few times, trying to process the accusations. I was surprised. I had expected Urumi to try something on me at some point, but not so soon, not like this.
I rubbed my temples, irritated. "It doesn't even make sense. What the hell? Ippei, why are you believing her after two innocent people died because of her?"
Her smile returned. "Because I thought they might be the Jack," she said, walking towards me. "But now I don't think you're the jack. I just want to protect my group," she said, staring at me defiantly. "If you still think she/they/he is reliable, I don't want you in my group. You will be my enemy because it means you don't like my methods and are stupid enough to trust her/them/him." Even though she was addressing all the members, she turned to look at Chishiya and Ippei only. "Make up your mind."
"I want to ta-" Ippei tried to speak with his trembling voice, but Chishiya stopped him.
"I didn't trust her from the start anyway," he said, sighing. Then his gaze shifted from Urumi to Ippei. "We keep sticking with the group, don't we, Ippei?"
I had felt at ease up to this point because I thought that at least Chishiya would be reasonable and trust me. As disappointment washed over me again, his words made my chest ache.
"What?" I whispered, looking at Chishiya with my eyes wide open in astonishment. I was speechless. I couldn't find the right words to express my feelings, and the only sentence I could make was simply ''Why don't you believe me?'' But as a response, Chishiya breathed through his nose as if making fun of me.
Before I could say more to defend myself, Urumi got in front of me and pushed me harshly from my shoulders, making me fall on my butt.
"We don't want you, honey. Don't come near my group again," she said, smiling and turning her back. "Come on, let's tell each other's suits," she said with her fake cute voice, bouncing away from me with her hands behind her back.
I stayed like this, still in shock, and watched Ippei join the group without even looking at me. He seemed heartbroken.
Why did you think all of our conversations were fake? I thought. I don't understand.
I have always had difficulty expressing my feelings through words or actions due to my poor social skills, which were impacted by my experience of being bullied in high school. However, I really care about him because he reminded me of my only friend at first, and then I saw his kindness.
My eyes moved on their own to Chishiya, who was sitting cross-legged and looking directly into my eyes with a slight smile on his face. He had a teasing look that was highly irritating. I showed my frustration by slamming my hands on the ground and pushing myself up to stand. Then I sat at an empty table diagonally across from him. I pulled my legs towards myself and hugged them.
The sting of betrayal was more powerful when I was left alone with my thoughts. The betrayal cut deep, leaving me feeling hollow and abandoned. I couldn't shake off the disappointment and sadness that engulfed me, wondering why they didn't give me the benefit of the doubt or at least hear my side of the story.
Why would they? It had only been a couple of hours, and although I tried to forge a bond, in the long run, everyone wanted to save themselves, not the stranger they had just met.
As acceptance outweighed the betrayal, I realized that the situation was worse than I had thought. Because now, I didn't have anyone to rely on. I ran through all my options. I couldn't trust another couple because they would treat me as an outsider or wouldn't even let me join. Banda was the only one at this point, and I didn't want to even say hello to him.
Then the urge to give up dominated. Why was I bothering so much when I didn't have anyone to return to anyway? Why was I getting so stressed and upset? It was absorbing; to just let myself go, put an end to this pain, stop thinking about it, stop playing these games, stop wearing myself out over Yuri's death, and let myself fall into infinite emptiness. After all this time, feeling nothing at all was exactly what I needed.
It is time to give your answer.
Please enter a solitary confinement cell of your choosing.
When I heard the announcement, I lifted my head, which was resting on my knees. I didn't have the energy to stand up; I felt exhausted. I didn't even need to go to the cell to be eliminated anyway.
I watched the people leaving the cellar one by one. Ippei, walking with his head down, was slowly heading towards his cell with Urumi and the rest of the group members. My eyes later turned to Chishiya at the end of the line. He was walking slowly with his hands in his pockets. I looked away from him and put my chin on my knees, staring blankly at the ground. But a pair of black shoes standing in front of me made me lift my head again.
Chishiya was holding out a snack package he had taken out of his pocket to me. He put his index finger on his lips and gestured for me to be quiet. I looked at him questioningly, but he nodded with a serious expression, and I took the package from him without saying anything. Then he turned around and followed the group.
I looked at the light blue package; it was the same snack I got the previous round because my symbol was a diamond. Now I knew this method, decoding the pattern, was not ideal at all, but I couldn't help myself collecting them.
You are Diamond again, by the way.
Stunned, I suddenly stood up, hoping he hadn't left. I wanted to talk to him to confirm whether he meant that I was really a diamond or not, but he had disappeared from sight as I expected.
He had nodded. Maybe he knew I would be in a dilemma. Maybe he still trusted me but didn't want to draw Urumi's attention to himself.
I felt some kind of warmth enveloping me. The fact that there was still someone I could trust and that it was him had cleared all the bad thoughts from my mind. Knowing that he had taken the time to notice my actions and was willing to stand up for me gave me comfort and security. I also felt a sense of relief, knowing that I had someone to count on to have my back, especially in a world where it feel like I was on my own.
I wanted to believe that.
I wanted to believe the only hope I had.