Today they were playing Spain. Nervous didn't even cut it. Evie was sat on the coach, her hands behind her head, breathing deeply and trying to get some air back into her lungs.
She felt terrible. Any sudden movement and she knew she'd throw up everywhere. The blood was rushing in her ears and her head felt like it was about to explode.
Desperately she tried to remember everything her psychiatrist had said but her mind was blank and nothing would come.
Mary was sat next to her and even though she didn't know what to say, she was determined to help. She put her hand on her thigh and just squeezed it gently in an attempt to reassure her.
"I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay," Evie muttered to herself. She was not okay but that wasn't the point. At this moment in time she was just trying to gaslight herself into believing she was.
It wasn't working and her panic was escalating drastically. Mary realised that she needed to do something more.
"Kiddo look at me. Everything will be okay. You are an exceptional player. You are more than up for this challenge. It's going to be hard but that's football," she said, trying to comfort her.
"I can't. I can't do it," Evie gasped.
"Yes you can. You need to take some breaths. Follow me and help calm yourself down. Forget everything else and just follow what I'm doing. In and out. That's it. Good girl."
It took some time but with a lot of help from Mary, Evie managed to get somewhat calm.
"It's just scary. After the last game I don't know if I can play like that again. It's a lot of pressure that's all."
"Forget it all. Play for fun. Play to win but enjoy it. I know you do anyway. Everyone does. Your dopey little grin makes that very clear."
"I think she's just a joy to watch. Her pure excitement and energy is brilliant. I feel like I need to smile every time I see her play," Ian Wright said. They were doing the debrief of the Northern Ireland game and discussing England's up and coming prospect.
"Yeah watching her pelt down that wing with a beam on her face is enough to make anyone smile. I've met her a couple of times and honestly she's one of the loveliest girls you'll ever meet," Alex Scott agreed.
The game kicked off and tense didn't even cut it. Spain were good, they had much more of the ball, but they weren't really doing anything with it.
Evie spent most of the game doubled over, her head between her legs, trying to block everything out. That was a technique they'd worked on. Focusing on one spot and drowning everything else out.
So far it wasn't really working but she carried on anyway. She only went down to stretch when Sarina told her to and even then she was looking round the crowd, trying to pick out people she recognised and just doing anything to take focus off the match.
Half time came and went, they'd had an exciting moment when Ellen got the ball in the back of the net but it hadn't been counted as Lucy had been off side during the build-up.
Ten minutes into the second half and disaster struck, Spain got a goal. It was a goal that could've been prevented but a slight lapse had led the defence to be a bit out of shape.
Evie's lunch was threatening to resurface. She hated being so helpless and wanted to get on the pitch. That may have been just as pressure filled but at least it was within her control.
She didn't have to wait long as soon enough her, Less and Tooney were out on the pitch. It was a much-needed substitution and the three of them brought the energy they needed.
Everyone who'd started the game had worked so hard that they were flagging a little and a burst of fresh legs was critical.
A beautiful fingertip save from Mary kept Spain from doubling their lead. The defence were working extremely hard but that didn't matter if they couldn't equalise.
Evie managed to win the ball on the halfway line and then she was off, she ran as quickly as she could, knowing she had a player on her. Before they had chance to get it, she chopped it back to Georgia before carrying on her run into the box. The ball found her and she smashed it towards the goal. Saved. Damn it.
This was frustrating. They'd picked up a lot but breaching the Spanish defence was difficult.
It was six minutes to the end when Evie whipped the ball into the middle. Less headed it down and then Ella smashed it into the back of the net. Oh my fucking god!
Evie sprinted over to celebrate with them. They all huddled in the corner overjoyed that they'd managed to pull it back.
Now it was time for extra time. Evie didn't feel scared. She felt ready. No way were they going out now.
They were only six minutes into extra time when Georgia got the ball and began running up the pitch. The defence stood off for some reason and with the pocket of space she'd been given, she smashed it from outside the box. It flew into the back of the net, an absolute pocket rocket.
Elated didn't even cut it. They were screaming and celebrating but as they ran to reset, Leah made it clear that they needed to stay switched on; stopping Spain from getting one and trying to score another one if they could.
It was tough. Both teams were battling hard. Everything was beginning to ache. Physically, Evie had never worked so hard. It was a real battle and the minutes seemed to slowly tick by.
When the final whistle went, Evie collapsed to the floor. Her leg was completely cramped up and she could barely move out of pure pain. Of course she was overjoyed but for now she needed her leg to stop feeling like it was on fire.
"Yes kiddo," Ellen shouted as she came over to the youngster.
"How banging was that?" Evie cheered excitedly, still on the ground. Ellen offered her hand and then pulled up onto her back. She carried her round and gave her the chance to get the blood pumping properly.
All of them were over the moon, they sang and cheered, celebrated and danced. They'd been so close to being out and now look what they'd done. They'd completely turned it around.
The changing room was practically turned into a rave. They had their after-match playlist absolutely blasting as they all danced with each other. Celebrating every moment was something they'd earned and something they were going to take very seriously.
***
Training was difficult. They were working so hard and even though the whole tournament was amazing, some days were just draining.
They'd had a tactics meeting and now they were doing them out on the pitches. Usually it worked well but for some reason today they couldn't quite get it.
"Ah sorry," Evie apologised as she realised she wasn't in the space she was meant to be.
"It's alright, go again," Sarina said. Every time they tried the sequence of play, someone was in the wrong place and it didn't work.
"Oh fuck off," Georgia shouted, at herself rather than anyone else, when she got caught out of her position.
"Quick break. Go get drinks," Sarina told them, realising that that was what was needed.
Evie went and flopped on the ground. This was hard, really hard. She wasn't the only one struggling as most of the girls were also feeling the pressure.
She was bright red and furious. Why couldn't she get this right?
The staff realised that they needed to support the girls and all of them, along with the more senior players, each took one of the struggling youngsters.
Rach walked and sat herself down next to Evie.
"Struggling?" she asked.
"Yep," Evie groaned, "Why can't I do it right? I know what I need to do but I'm still in the wrong place. This is so hard. And why is it so hot? I'm actually melting."
"It's tough. But we'll get there. We've been working nonstop for weeks on end, of course we're struggling. You don't need to stress, just take a deep breath and it will come eventually," Rach reassured her.
"Yeah. You're right," Evie said, inhaling the hot summer's air in an attempt to calm herself.
The two of them spoke for the rest of the break, Rach cheering her up and listening to anything she was stressing about, before Sarina called them in.
"Right we'll have a fun game of one bounce to reset and then once everyone's more relaxed we'll get back to it," she said.
They split into three different groups and began knocking the ball about. It did manage to calm everyone down and with it just being a relaxed game, they all joked and laughed. It brought them back down to Earth and when they tried the drill again, it went a lot better.
Now they'd finally perfected it, Sarina explained what they were going to be doing next. A familiar buzz began flying through the air. A wasp. Brilliant.
It came Evie's way and she ran off, screaming. She didn't care that Sarina was in the middle of talking, she hated wasps. This caused great chaos as some of the girls ran with her and the rest of them laughed at their panicking teammates.
Arjan came in to be their saviour.
"Gone," he said after swatting it away.
"I'm all for female independence but when it comes to bugs I'll happily leave it to the men," Evie joked as they all stood back round Sarina.
She managed to explain what they were doing and then they all went off to set up. Their walking was interrupted by the loudest scream you've ever heard.
"Shit I've been stung," Tooney screamed, rolling around and being all dramatic as usual.
Despite their friend being in pain, they all howled with laughter. It was hilarious. She was being so over the top and acting like she'd been shot.
The medics came over and helped escort her inside, Tooney still shouting and complaining loudly.
She returned 15 minutes later and spent the rest of the day getting stick for her reaction.
***
Leah was just chilling in her room when a loud knock came at her door. She went and opened it before a pair of arms wrapped around her middle.
"You alright?" she asked, hugging back without a second thought.
"Yeah," Evie replied, still holding on tightly, "Just wanted a hug."
They stayed like that for a few moments before breaking apart and going to flop on Leah's bed. Evie sat cross legged on the end and the two of them chatted away for hours.
It was peaceful and felt like being at home. Despite how brilliant the euros was, it was nice to have something that felt normal and relaxed.
Eventually a text came through from Sarina and the two of them had to finish their conversation and head down to the relaxation room.
Everyone loved the relaxation room. They spent a lot of time together, playing games, watching TV and having a laugh.
When they arrived most of the team was already there. Once everybody had turned up, Sarina began to speak.
"Ok so we thought that it would be a good activity to pair everybody up and get you all to write messages for each other. I want you to express how you feel about the others playing style and how much they've achieved. I'm not sure if I've explained this very well but I'm sure you'll figure out what you want to say," she explained.
They were put into pairs and Evie was with Leah. All of them were dotted around the room, in silence and thinking about what to say.
Evie lay on her front, her legs kicking backwards and forwards as she tried to put her thoughts onto paper. It didn't take too long as it was a heart felt message and when she put her pen down, she read it over, quickly realising that she'd strayed a little from Leah's playing style.
To Leah,
I'm not very good with words but here we go. You're a leader. That's a fact. Short and simple. You care for everyone, you listen, and you make us all the best we can be. You're doing us all proud and I hope you know that. We love you and we're grateful that you're the one leading us on this journey.
You're an incredible football player but more importantly than that you're an incredible human being. Ever since I moved in, you have shown nothing but love and affection. That's what I needed more than anything else and without me having to ask, you gave it to me. When I was at my lowest you said you were going to give me the world and somehow, you've managed to exceed that.
You've made me see that life isn't so bad. You've shown me that all I need to do is believe in myself. I'm not the easiest person to live with, I know that, but never once have you complained. You've made sure I feel happy, loved and safe. Every single second I've been with you I've felt loved. You make me know someone's there. That there is someone who cares and is willing to pull me into their arms and hold me close when I'm feeling vulnerable.
You're funny, you're kind and you're my best mate in the whole world. I love you so much Leah. All the things we've packed into this year have been special. From going across LA to having our after-dinner chats. I've loved everything and I've loved doing it with you.
You've done so much for me and no words will ever do justice to how grateful I am. You deserve every single good thing that comes your way. Here's to many more years of laughter,
Love Evie xx
Soon enough, they swapped the letters over, all going to private little spots to read them.
Kiddo,
When Jonas asked me if I wanted a new house mate, I had no idea what the next year would entail. I knew living together would instantly make me close with whoever it was but I never realised quite how close.
I love you a lot baby. I'd do anything to see you happy and I hope you realise that. We've had loads of great times this year. We've laughed, we've sung and we've certainly chatted.
You are genuinely one of the most talented players I have ever seen. You've got pace, you've got skills and you've got a killer cross. I have no doubt that you're going to go far, you just need to have self-belief. You're an incredibly well-rounded player and I seriously mean it when I say that you're going to be the best in the world (when you give your acceptance speech for all the awards you'll undoubtedly win, you better credit me x). I don't know exactly what the next game will bring (and who knows after that) but I don't doubt that you are going to own whatever happens. You'll rule the world one day and inspire so many people. I can tell you now that you're already my hero,
Lots of love Leah xx
Evie smiled widely as she read it. It meant a lot.
She finished reading it and looked up just in time to see Leah walking over, tears spilling silently down her face. Without saying anything, Leah pulled her into her arms. The other girls were watching on, slightly amused by their emotional captain.
"How mean were you?" Georgia joked.
Leah didn't really know what to say. The message meant so much she could even put it into words.
"Thank you," she said quietly after a little while.
***