"So, how are things going?" asked Alora.
It was Caiti's second meeting with her and she had been dreading it. She had nothing to report. No news. No updates. No discoveries and no ideas.
She didn't want to admit this, but she didn't know what else to say. If she lied and said things were going well, she would have to back it up with examples of what she'd been doing, but Caiti hadn't been doing anything except wasting her time on books that weren't helping at all.
"I feel like a fraud," she said. "I don't know what I'm doing."
Alora just smiled. "Potion making really sucks sometimes, doesn't it?"
She looked, as always, so put together. Her hair was back in a french twist, all sleek and shiny, and she wore these very dark green, almost black robes with a slight sheen to them. Caiti hadn't worn robes once since her last day at Hogwarts.
Caiti couldn't even answer her. She was afraid she would start crying again. She had been crying a lot lately, usually when she was on her own, but also that one time in front of Marlowe when the frustration had really been getting to her.
"Are there specific things you're struggling with? Anywhere I can offer advice?"
Caiti didn't even know where to begin. "How am I supposed to know," she said, "if something is even going to work? How do I know I'm not just a little kid making mud potions in the backyard?"
"Well," said Alora, "that depends largely on what you're trying to accomplish. You can't test every potion the same way."
"I tried something once," Caiti said. "I thought if I poured a mixture on something and then tried to transfigure it and it didn't work maybe that would mean the ingredient has the right properties, but it didn't work and I just got so confused about how to know what works together."
"That's a smart idea," Alora said. She folded her hands and thought for a while. "Have you considered making the wolfsbane potion and just adding one thing?"
"I just feel like it can't be that simple."
"It probably isn't. But sometimes simple is worth a shot."
This was how Caiti ended up brewing the wolfsbane potion when the full moon had passed a week and a half earlier. She'd had to run to the apothecary, because usually the ingredients she used were provided by the ministry and while she had a few things on hand, most of the key ingredients were rare and awfully expensive so she didn't have a large supply on hand.
It felt so wasteful to make it and not use it, even though this was exactly what she had done, over and over and over again, when she'd been learning to make it.
When the potion was finished, Caiti hurried into the greenhouse to retrieve a petal from one of her plants and then she sped back into the office, crossed her fingers, and dropped the petal in the potion.
The usual shade of green morphed into a sickly, snot colored green, and then the potion started to froth at the surface. Caiti did not feel at all confident about these results, but she grabbed a twig from the other day off the table and spooned a bit of the potion on top.
The twig sizzled underneath the hot liquid.
Caiti pulled out her wand. She inhaled, which was probably a mistake because the fumes coming off the potion were fairly toxic, and then she pointed the wand at the twig and tried, just as she had before, to turn it into a spoon.
And just as it had before, the twig went all shiny and silvery and one end rounded into a spoon.
But the handle, though it had gone silver, remained rough and twig-like.
Caiti's heart could've beat right out of her chest. Maybe it was just her poor transfiguration skills, but she had to hang on to hope that it wasn't. Quickly, she bottled up a few vials of the potion. She didn't know if it would keep or not — the Wolfsbane potion didn't — but better to save some just in case.
—-
Three days later, Caiti was deeply engrossed in a new library book about potion testing practices when the alarm she'd set herself on her wand blared out, making her jump and nearly drop the book. She hurried to quiet the wand, careful to keep her thumb on her page until she could put her bookmark in and then she gave herself a minute to sit and let her pounding heart settle back down.
Marlowe's event was tonight and Caiti had taken the precaution of setting an alarm to send herself home to get ready in case, as had happened every day since her little test on the twig, she lost track of time working on things. For the first time that summer, she'd been excited about the possibility of this all working, something she hadn't been able to bring herself to hope for in what felt like the longest time.
She's scarcely taken a minute off, and though she'd been pretty invested in the chapter she'd been reading, she was also looking forward to thinking about something else for a while.
Quickly, she ran around the room cleaning things up, and then she grabbed her wand and headed home.
The dress she'd bought last week was hanging on the back of her closet door. She'd found it at a muggle vintage clothing store and it was perfect. The bodice was fitted, but had lots of ruching and the skirt was made with many layers of soft tulle. She'd never really worn orange before, but when she tried it on and looked in the mirror, she felt beautiful. She hadn't dressed up in such a long time.
Not since the Yule Ball, really.
She had gotten ready in Evelyn's dormitory that night and the other girls in her year had helped the both of them figure out all the makeup and hair charms Caiti didn't really know. She'd never done more than braids and ponytails on her own.
Marlowe came by early, about a quarter after five and Caiti hurried out of her bedroom when she heard him at the door, her makeup half done and intercepted him before her parents could make things awkward.
"You're early," said Caiti.
Marlowe kissed her on the cheek before following her down the hall back towards her bedroom. "They let us out early today."
Caiti climbed back up on the dresser where she'd been sitting for better access to her mirror to continue doing her makeup.
"That's lucky. How was your day?" she asked, reaching for a brush.
"Normal," said Marlowe, taking a seat on her bed. "We took it kind of easy today. We don't have a match for like a week and a half since everyone's focused on the World Cup right now."
Through the mirror, she saw him glance at the back of her door, see the dress hanging there, and smile. Butterflies stirred up in her stomach and Caiti had to duck her face down to keep from smiling too much herself. She wasn't used to feeling nervous around him anymore. Everything had gotten so comfortable. It was nice, if a bit startling, to suddenly feel as jumpy as she did, especially when he wasn't even touching her. It was nice to know he could still have that effect on her.
They chatted while she finished her makeup and attempted to do something nice with her hair and then when she was about ready to put on her dress, she slid off the end of the dresser and took one step towards the door, but Marlowe intercepted her, hands catching her waist.
He kissed her and Caiti's stomach felt as full of butterflies as it had when she'd come downstairs from the dormitories the night of the Yule Ball. She hadn't known then that she was going to kiss him when he asked, but there had been a subconscious feeling that something was going to change that night. Though she couldn't pinpoint exactly what it meant, Caiti had that feeling again.
She slipped out of his arms, heart suddenly pounding, and took the dress off its hanger. She almost brought it into the bathroom to change, but at the last second, she laid it on the bed, unzipped it so she could move quickly, and pulled her t-shirt over her head.
Marlowe didn't look away from her as she stepped into the dress and pulled it over her shoulders. He stepped behind her and reached for the zipper before she could, tugged it up, then slid his hands down her arms and turned her around. He slipped his fingers into hers and looked at her, right into her eyes.
"You're so beautiful," he said. The way he said you're and not you look, like this was an always thing and not a right now, all done up thing — it made Caiti's heart race.
—-
The party was held at the old World Cup stadium from when the UK had last hosted. They had arrived only a short ways from the entrance but the walk up to the check-in table was chaotic to say the least. There were media people everywhere, snapping pictures and shouting out questions, calling out his name which was unfortunately easy when he was wearing his team robes with his name right there on the back. Marlowe tried his best not to engage, wrapped his arm around Caiti's waist and muttered to her to just ignore them, but it still wasn't pleasant. He'd encountered things like this before, but this was by far the most aggressive.
He was relieved that none of the photographers seemed allowed through the entrance. While there were media personnel stationed inside, from what he could see at first glance, they were much more respectful and had probably actually been invited. He let go of Caiti's waist, slipping his hand into hers instead.
"Sorry about that. I didn't realize they'd be that... intrusive."
Caiti just shook her head. "Don't apologize. It's not like you invited them."
Marlowe was about to answer with a retort, but he looked at her and the words just fell back. She was right. She usually was. "Come on," he said, a little smile starting to spread across his mouth. "Let's go find our table. I want to introduce you to people. Officially."
People from all different teams were mingling in an open, dance-floor like space in front of the stage where he presumed the presentation of the world cup team would happen. All around were round tables, each decorated with the same centerpiece: two miniature broomsticks crossed at the handles and supporting a round, golden circle like the wings of a snitch. Inside each of these was the logo of the team assigned to that table.
Marlowe led her on a weaving path through the tables until he spotted someone else in orange and figured that must be where he was meant to be. "Over here," he said. "Obviously we can sort of mix around and talk to other people, but for dinner at least, and for the big announcement part, they have us sitting with our own teams. Most of the guys are bringing their wives, and I think Eddie Walters is bringing his baby, too."
It made Marlowe feel very young saying things like wives and babies out loud, especially to Caiti, but she just smiled.
It was Brian he had spotted. He turned around when they were still a few steps away and held up a hand in greeting.
"Hey," McSorley said with a pleasant smile as they got nearer.
"Hey," Marlowe returned. "You remember Caiti, right?" They had met, briefly, after his first match, though he didn't think she'd ever had a real conversation with anyone on the team.
"Course, good to see you again," he said, holding out a hand to shake Caiti's. "This is my wife, Elaina," he added, for Caiti's benefit, nodding to a tall woman with light brown hair. Marlowe had met her a few times before.
"You too," Caiti smiled. She held her hand out to Elaina, too. "Nice to meet you."
Marlowe realized he'd been nervous about this, worried she would feel out of place, but she seemed so relaxed.
They took seats around the table. A few others had gathered there already including Benson who perked up when he saw Caiti. "Ah," he said. "So, she did make it then."
"Was I not going to?" Caiti asked with a frown.
"I may have mentioned that you've been pretty focused this week."
Caiti shot Marlowe a look and he laughed.
"You remember Joe Benson, right? I think you met before."
"Your manager," said Caiti. And then she turned back to McSorley and said, "Beater," and scanned the rest of the people already at the table, naming off positions and names when she knew them.
"Damn," said Marlowe. "You've got a good memory."
Caiti shrugged. "Most of the time I see all of you, you've got your names on your backs."
Everyone laughed at this and Marlowe pressed his lips together to keep from smiling too much.
"You ever play quidditch?" asked the seeker, Aaron Sutton.
"God no," said Caiti. "I haven't been on a broom since my first year."
"Seriously?" asked Marlowe. Somehow, he had never realized this.
"Just for one second, picture me on a broom," said Caiti. "You can't, because I'd be falling off of it."
Again, everyone laughed. Marlowe felt all warm inside. "Well, I guess we'll have to fix that," he said.
"Or not," said Caiti with a grimace. "If you'd like to keep knowing me."
More of the team started to trickle in over the next quarter of an hour and though they were split between three different tables, people kept moving seats so they spoke with everyone. Caiti was polite and funny and everyone seemed to like her and Marlowe started having these visions — probably aided by the presence of Eddie Walter's baby boy — of Caiti being around for so many more events like this, years down the line, of the two of them being a long term part of this whole big family and people knowing her and asking about her. Maybe Caiti would become friends with some of the guys' wives and they'd sit together in the stadium at matches, half watching and half entertaining the kids.
He would never admit to thinking things like this, of course, but it was hard not to get all soft when Caiti had her hand in his under the table and seemed so comfortable in his world.
At some point as dinner was winding down, Marlowe ended up with the baby in his lap and Caiti looked like she was about to explode at the very sight. His name was Ben and he was only four months old and that seemed way too little for Marlowe to be allowed anywhere near him, but when he held Ben against his chest, he tucked his little head right down into Marlowe's shoulder. Caiti had to cover her eyes.
"Stop. Oh my god. It's too much," she said.
"Why does he like me?" asked Marlowe.
"Why wouldn't he?" asked Caiti.
At that moment, a magically amplified voice rang out from the stage and everyone's attention started to turn towards the presentation, but Caiti scooted her chair closer to Marlowe's and watched him instead. She looked at him like nothing in the whole world could be more interesting than the sight of him with a baby. It put butterflies in his stomach.
It wasn't like they were anywhere close to trying to have kids. They were way too young. They were focused on their careers. Marlowe was still slowly adjusting to his new life trajectory. But still. He could picture it and he liked the picture.
The wizard up on stage had just invited everyone to come down onto the lawn and Ben's mum scooped him back out of Marlowe's arms, so Marlowe stood up, holding his hand out for Caiti and they followed his teammates onto the field with everyone else.
The World Cup team members were announced one by one, the announcer listing out the teams they had played for over their careers and whether or not they had been to a previous World Cup event. Most of them were from the same two or three teams, Marlowe noticed. None, of course, were from his own team, but he'd known that.
Near the end of the announcement, Caiti said something Marlowe couldn't hear over all the noise. "What?" he asked, leaning down to her.
"I said I bet that'll be you someday," Caiti repeated.
"Not a chance," said Marlowe. "I play for the worst team in the league."
"Maybe if you all stopped thinking like that you wouldn't be," said Caiti, which shut him right up.
"Let's hear it one more time for your 2019 UK and Ireland World Cup teams!" called out the announcer. The crowd erupted in cheers and applause and then fireworks started to go off over the stage. Marlowe pulled Caiti in front of him, arms linked in front of her stomach and she leaned against him as they watched.
Marlowe saw a photographer nearby aim a camera at them, but he didn't even care. Let them. Caiti wasn't just some girl he was with for the moment. She wasn't just something for people to gossip about.
As the fireworks went on, a group of musicians filed onto the stage to set up. They began their first song as soon as the last firework had gone off. Marlowe thought at first that everyone would just listen, but all around him people started to group up and dance. A few of his teammates drifted back to the tables to sit and talk, but most of them stayed. Brian grabbed his wife by the hand and twirled her under his arm. He was usually so reserved, it surprised Marlowe to see him smile as big as he did and even sing along with the song.
He pulled Caiti in close, one arm around her back, the other in her hand, and they rocked back and forth to the beat. Marlowe pretended to sing the song to her, making dramatic faces to get Caiti to laugh. He felt like pre-attack Marlowe. He felt funny and confident and carefree and he forgot about all the shit he was usually worried about. Caiti looked up at him with her eyes all bright and it was like going back in time to the night of the Yule Ball when Caiti had first kissed him and he'd thought things couldn't get better, except that now he knew how wrong he'd been.
In spite of everything, things had gotten so much better. It'd been close to two years since that night and it was still the two of them. Caiti looked so fucking gorgeous it made him all tongue tied to look at her.
Little Ben had fallen asleep on his mum's shoulder despite the noise. "Look," he said to Caiti, rotating so she could see.
"He likes loud music," Eddie yelled with a shrug. "Only thing that puts him to sleep."
Caiti laughed, her smile like pure sunshine. Then the band launched into a very popular song, one everyone knew within the first couple notes, and Caiti turned back to Marlowe. She jumped up and down to the beat on the chorus, the fluffy skirt of her dress bouncing with her and then when it got to the bridge, she linked her arms around his waist and pressed her cheek into his chest.
He couldn't wait to go home with her tonight, to be able to kiss her properly. When the song began winding down, Caiti gave him a tight squeeze and then said "Let's go get a drink. I'm dying."
But just as Marlowe let go of her, the next song began — Charmed. It was a classic, another one everyone knew right away, and it was special to him in particular because it was the song that had played when they'd first kissed at the Yule Ball.
"Just kidding," Caiti said. "After this one."
Marlowe grinned and pulled her back in close.
They ended up staying on the dance floor for four more songs. The playlist was just too good. Caiti didn't say anything as they walked away from the crowd, not until they each had a drink in their hand and were standing a little apart from everyone else where it was relatively quiet.
Caiti's eyes hovered on the Cannons' table. Eddie and his wife had gone back a while ago and were sitting there chatting with Benson and a few other people Marlowe couldn't quite make out in the dark. At least two of them were from other teams. Ben was in Eddie's arms, sucking down a bottle.
"Marlowe, do you want kids?" Caiti asked out of the blue, her eyes still on them. This question made his stomach flip flop even though he knew the answer right away.
"Yeah," he said. "I always kinda pictured myself with a big family." He glanced at her and she was smiling down at her feet. "Bunch of kids running around. Lots of noise and a mess and all that, but like... fun. I don't know."
"I like the sound of that," she said quietly.