"When will you just admit that you are in love with a Gryfindor?"Barty complained after interrupting Regulus' rant about hating the Potter boy for the fifth time that week, It was only Monday.
"As if! he acts all big and mighty. God, he is so full of himself. Like we get it you like Quidditch and we get it you have the best friends, those stupid idiotic clan of misfits. Trust me if anyone has the best friends it is me. And none of them are prancing around in stupid Red and bloody Gold." Regulus continued
"merde!" Barty whispered under his breath "Yes and do not forget the way his hair is flawless despite being messy almost every day or the way his eyes sparkle when the sun hits him at just the right angle or how he is the literal sunshine of the Gryffindor tower and is never seen without a smile, like Reg we get it just snog him already" Barty complained once more.
"Va te faire foutre" Regulus replied with a scowl "Non merci, j'ai Evan pour ça" Barty responds with a smirk Regulus just gags and looks like he is generally going to throw up "Je n'avais pas besoin de connaître cette information" regulus responds before making his way out of the room to erase that image out of his brain XXX
It takes James a second when he wakes up but he would know this position anywhere. He know that scent even if it was a million miles away. It was Sirius Black. Precious Sirius. One of the only people he felt safe in. He was just everything to him. James however could not for the life of him remember how he landed here in Sirius' arms. Had he fallen asleep there? He does not remember that but maybe he was just that tired. That does not sound like him though. Maybe he just wanted comfort and he always takes comfort in Sirius.
Suddenly it hit him all at once
"Regulus!" James screams out in a panic Because of course, he does. "No, I'm Sirius. Did you hit your head or something?" Sirius jokes "is he okay? Oh, I am going to kill Avery I swear. Wait, Barty, and Evan where are they? Are they okay? Are they all safe? I swear if he did anything I will-" James rambles in a panic worrying about the whereabouts of his boyfriend and his best friends"They are okay. They are in the dungeons. Everyone is safe. calm down loverboy" Sirius responds The only problem with being in Sirius' arms is that he was seen with Barty and Evan. Not only had he been seen with the Slytherins, but he'd also been seen with the Slytherins romantically and that is not the worst part for James. The worst part is that Sirius saw everything and he was too scared to come out to his best friend and now everything is out in the open. "I'm so sorry. Sirius I-" James tries to explain before breaking down once again"Hey, James. I don't care okay?" Sirius starts B-but I and you- I-" James tries to mumble out as he struggles to catch his breath"James okay listen to me alright? Breathe for me.1....2....3 breathe, 1...2...3... breathe" Sirius tries placing James down on the bed, kneeling down in front of him "Just watch my eyes and breathe that's all I'm asking" Sirius adds "But you-you hate me. Just admit it. I am so sorry" James replies through sobs and heavy breathing "Hey, prongs, I don't care, just breathe for me okay?" Sirius confirms looking into James' eyes "Please just breathe okay?" Sirius adds.
James just nods and tries to take deep breaths looking at Sirius. His best friend. The only one that had the power to calm him down whenever he got upset or angry. All that mattered right now is Sirius. Yes, he was still worrying about Regulus and his friends, and yes, he still wanted to end Avery's life. Right now though all that mattered was crawling back into his best friend's arms and being safe. It was the one thing that both Black brothers were good at, they were both amazing at hugs which is surprising for most given how they grew up but somehow the cruel ways of the black's torture, all the Crucio curses and punishments led them to crave love, crave attention and as sad as that is James is happy to give them every ounce of love that he is capable of because both Regulus and Sirius deserve everything in the world. He loves them both immensely, he loves them both without thinking because he is James potter and that is just what the potters do. They love, They love until they cannot love anymore until they break down into a pile on the floor and all that is left is tears those times are the hardest because the potters are known for their smiles, their unconditional love therefore for James for right now he feels so weak and small. He is at the lowest point and he'd do anything he can to be that happy loveable James in an instant. He should be able to pick himself up, comfort Sirius, protect Regulus, and kill Avery but he just can't do that right now and right at that moment James potter felt like a failure. He did not feel like a potter.
It was at that moment that all the guilt took over James' body he could no longer stand looking into his friend's eyes. He felt so guilty that his safety was gone. He had betrayed his friend. Sirius was sure to hate him and he could not live like that. He could not live without Sirius. He knew he had brought this upon himself, he was the one after all the only person dating his baby brother, but loving Regulus had become so natural he did not know how to do anything else and no matter who it hurt he did not care because he was able to give happiness, he felt happiness, he felt safe and most importantly he felt love and no matter what Sirius had to say nothing would ever change that. James was a happy bubbly person normally, but with Regulus by his side he felt happier, he felt complete so despite all the guilt he felt for Sirius and for kissing men, he knew that this is who he was and he would not trade his relationship with Regulus for anything and eventually when Sirius finds out he will just have to deal with that fact. "Hey!, Hey James," Sirius said waving a hand in his face with a look of concern. James must have zoned out because Sirius had turned the colour of the wallpaper. completely white. "Pads, I'm alright I promise" James responded holding out his pinky "Oh thank god!" Sirius responded before jumping directly on top of James swashing him directly on the mattress. James just burst out laughing."I was so scared Prongs, I have never seen you that angry and then I had never seen you so upset and then you just blanked and I-I didn't want to lose you" Sirius explained pouting "Sirius I-" James started "Prongs, Just let me talk okay? A lot has happened today and I have no idea if you knew what my reaction was like in the great hall or not because Reggie dragged you out of that room extremely quickly but I want you to know that I do not care who you date, who you fuck in your spare time is not any of my business. it's not anyone's business. I could not care less if you were straight or gay or even somewhere in-between because you are my Prongise. You are literally my other half. You complete me and I wouldn't want anyone else to do that." Sirius explained to his best friend James started crying once more. He wasn't sad this time. He was crying because he was happy, he knew within him that he wouldn't lose his best friend that easily but it is lovely to have that confirmation. "You don't even-" James tries to ask before getting interrupted "I have to ask though, are you one of them?" Sirius asks looking directly at James "One of what. I'm a little confused Pads I-" James asks back confused "A death eater obviously. I can pass you being with boys, and I can get over you being with a Slytherin but you, You've been acting really differently lately and you are dating two death eaters and hanging around my brother who is also a death eater so I just had to ask." Sirius explains further For a second James was frozen on the spot. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know how to act. His best friend had just asked if he had taken the mark. Did he really think that low of him? It was common knowledge that Regulus and Evan were most likely going to end up being death eaters due to their awful parents but he would have never thought of taking the mark. Well not before he met Regulus and fell in love with him. Now he wasn't so sure. He knew all he wanted was to protect Regulus even if that meant joining the dark side but how could Sirius think he would be swayed so easily to turn his back on everything he had been taught? He was a potter they were not bad people, they were purebloods but so was Sirius, that doesn't automatically make you evil or a death eater. That was all it took, he saw red once more. "I cannot believe you just asked that. No, I do not have the stupid dark mark. I am practically in the order already and not that you deserve this information but Reg is not a death eater and nor is Evan or Barty so stop with your stupid accusations. The fact that we have been friends for six whole years, you've met my parents, you practically become my brother, you know everything about me yet you still think I am capable of becoming a death eater. " James shouted whilst starting to pack a bag "Well, I don't know you anymore. Plus love makes you do stupid shit. I would know, Mooney makes me do all sorts of crazy shit all the time without even meaning to" Sirius tries to explain "Well good for you it only took six years for you to finally admit it. Like seriously how oblivious can you be to not see what was right in front of you? The only reason I did not say anything was that I am not one to out someone whether they know that or not but Gosh I am so mad at you right now you could not understand. Also while we are in this conversation normally not talking to a person makes it a lot harder to get with them so just get over yourself. Snog and make-up and just stop being kids."James shouted back at him "James please calm down"Sirius tried "NO, no you do not get to tell me to calm down. In fact, you can forget this whole conversation. This whole friendship is done, I never want to see your face again and that little fear you have considered it done. Regulus is my best friend now. Screw you, Black. Or better yet screw Mooney maybe it'll put you in a better mood" James replies zipping up his bag "I can't screw Mooney I am mad at him," Sirius replies with sorrow in his eyes "And now we are back to you now. I honestly do not care what you have to say anymore. Tell Mooney I'll see him later because unlike you he doesn't accuse me of being a death eater." James tells Sirius with his hand on the door "But he did out you. "Sirius replies quickly without thinking James just closes his eyes, and takes one deep breath before he is out of the door and heading back to the only place he can really call home lately. The Slytherin dorms.
"Pureblood" James mumbles before running through the common room with his luggage. This sticks out from a million miles considering he is in all red with a bright red bag stating Gryfindor on it. Honestly, though James did not know if he was a Gryffindor anymore. He felt like a coward going back to the Slytherins, but they had become his safety and he would not give Sirius the satisfaction of seeing him cry, despite that all he was seeing was red. He did not know if it was Avery or Sirius or being accused of becoming a death eater or the loss of trust by his friends. James just felt angry and lost. Very lost "R-R-Regulus" James whispered before collapsing into a ball at the entrance of the boy's dormitory.He wanted to hate himself right now but the minute the chamomile hit his nose he knew he had reached his safety. This was the only moment he allowed himself to stop. This was the only moment he allowed himself to let out his emotions. He knew at that minute no one in that room would judge. He knew at that moment he was home.
XXX
translations for the french
merde = fuck
"Va te faire foutre" = fuck you!
"Non merci, j'ai Evan pour ça = no thank you I have Evan for that
Je n'avais pas besoin de connaître cette information" = i didn't need to know that information