I'm not sure if I slept at all when I next open my eyes.
The only indication of time passing is the absence of the ominous glow of the lanterns against the wooden wall of the cabin of the ship. It's replaced with a patchwork of light that pierces through the minuscule gaps in the wood above.
The rocking has dulled, implying a calmer sea by day. Shifting from my position, I stretch my legs out, surveying the cabin. A few crewmates rest surprisingly well against the side; it doesn't surprise me. When you spend your life on the sea, you must adjust to the constant motion.
I push to my feet, twisting the painful kink from my neck. My once blue dress is stiffened with salt, the rim of the skirt stained brown. I try to flatten out the creases as I make my way to the wooden ladder, gripping the rungs as I heave myself above deck.
The brightness above momentarily blinds me. I raise a hand to shield my eyes as the wind whips my hair in every direction. The cabin below deck leads to the hull of the ship, blocked from the rest of the deck by the roof of the cabin.
It appears to be empty, only giving way to the deep blue beyond. My breath catches in my throat as my eyes adjust to the light. Lowering my hand, I take cautious steps forward, gripping the railing and staring out at the ocean behind us.
Beneath the gaze of the morning sun, the surface of the blue sparkles like millions of tiny stars. It sloshes against the side of the ship, our wake leaving choppy, white caps that disturb the calm. But I can't draw my eyes away from the horizon.
Everywhere I look the ocean greets me. No mound of land interrupts its path, only the horizon in its way as the ocean curves in the distance, melding with the hazy blue of the morning sky.
I forget the uneasiness of the rocking. I forget Ereon. Momentarily, I forget the cloud. Vast, dark, terrifying. The songs of the open ocean whisper through the breeze.
"Rise and shine, sleepy head."
The voice jolts me from my stupor. In fright, I tighten my grip on the wooden barrier. Killian appears in my peripheral vision, his body facing the ocean just as mine does.
"Good morning to you, too," I say, ignoring the flipping in my stomach.
"Admiring the view?" he asks, following my gaze.
"I've never seen such open water."
"Scared?" he taunts.
"Not scared, exactly." A chill crawls down my spine, the claw of the gentle breeze. It's so beautiful. But I can see its power, even though it lies beneath the surface. "Are you?"
"I've always admired it. The ocean is beautiful and terrifying in the very best way."
"Which is exactly why you shouldn't sneak up on someone like that. What would you have done if I'd fallen in?"
"What I always do when I get you in a sticky situation." I can hear the shrug in his tone. "Get you out of it."
"Always?"
He shifts his body so that his back leans against the barrier, eyes on me. I keep my gaze on the water, beyond him. "You know, in the first storm in Veymaw, in the Palace in the mountains, the second cloud incident in Veymaw, last night. Should I go on?"
I twist my head to glare at him. His black shirt is rolled to his elbows, the top flapping open in the gentle breeze to reveal his chest. While my hair sits flat from the salt, his seems to have taken on more volume, blowing silkily through the air. His appearance catches me off guard, so much so that my glare probably comes across as something closer to a gawk.
"I don't think it counts as a rescue if you intend to abduct me directly after said rescue," I manage.
Despite the teasing glint in his eye, something that looks like guilt seeps in. "Fair point."
"Besides, you didn't really save me during the storm in Veymaw, nor the cloud incident after that, either. Both of those times you showed up after the fact."
He raises an eyebrow. "You really won't just stroke my ego for a second, will you?"
"You stroke it enough for us both."
He grins. "Come on," he says. "We've been waiting for you to wake. The ocean has calmed enough for the captain to spare us a few minutes."
I nod, quickly snapping into gear. Following him around the deck of the ship, Lei, Juem, and Casimir wait atop the main deck, bent over a table. The captain, a scar-faced man greets me with a grin. He looks the complete picture of the drawing my father sketched in my mind of sailors.
Wrinkles indent his face so permanently it's hard to imagine they weren't always there. His hair has thinned to a small patch on the back of his head, and he walks with a slight hobble, his pant leg dragging across the deck to conceal his shoe. Aged by the harshness of the sea, eyes filled with stories and memories that most of us never get to experience.
Casimir looks up at me as I meet them. His complexion seems less green than last night, but a light sheen of sweat covers his forehead, despite the chill in the air. He ushers me to squat next to him.
The captain stares at the map spread across the wooden plank, pinned down by three dusty glass bottles, and Lei's boot. The lines Lei drew on the page mimic the lines on the map Myers gave us, hidden safely in Killian's bag.
The captain looks at me as I settle down, expression curious. "Cloud Piercer, eh?"
I shift on the wooden crate. "My name is Freya."
"Aye." He grins, revealing a missing front tooth. "Ereon had your drawing plastered around town. Hefty reward offered too, aye."
I stiffen.
"Aren is a friend to Torinnians," Killian says, noting my posture. "He helped many of us flee the country to Ayrith and Llyn when the cloud took over. Even smuggled us into Elel."
His supposed good nature makes my stomach churn.
"The King saw your ship," I say. "He knows you have us."
He'll punish you.
Aren just chuckles. "He'll have to find me to do that, love. Aye, I don't believe any of that Cloud Piercer nonsense." He looks back down at the map. "Where ye wanting to head?"
Lei puts her fingers over the jagged v's in the centre of the land mass. "We're trying to get to the Saulun mountains."
"Aye, the Saulun mountains." Aren frowns. "That's more than a day's journey. The cloud--"
"How close can you get us?" Lei cuts him off, impatient. I don't blame her. Hearing his doubt at the success of our journey helps none of us.
Aren grumbles something beneath his breath but traces his finger across the paper, trailing through what looks like a mouth opening to the land mass.
"I can drop ye here," he says. "Catol fjord. When we reach Torinne, we travel inland about 2 hours. There I leave you here, in jobert bay." He taps his finger against a dip in the mound. It's closer to the Saulun mountains than the beginning of the fjord, but if he took us farther, we could get closer. "I go no farther. No trader who ventured farther has ever made it back. I be back after a week. If you not there, I ain't coming back."
I swallow the nerves, looking up at him.
"What is it ye after anyway? Gold?"
I exchange a glance with Casimir. He doesn't know? "An old relic. Sanaa's family heirloom," Lei answers.
He mutters something beneath his breath just as one of the crewmates glides above deck, calling for Aren. "'Scuse me," he says. "We'll reach the beginning of the fjord by midafternoon, the cove by this evening."
He pushes to his feet and strolls away.
"He doesn't know what we're here for?" Casimir asks.
"It's best no one knows," Juem says, looking at me. "No matter who you think you can trust."
"Focus," Lei says, tapping the map. "We have only a week to reach the Saulun mountains and back. We'll never make it back in time, if we manage to even get there," Lei says. "I've mapped our route, and simply getting there takes 3 days and that's without factoring in the stops for the cloud and everything we might encounter."
"We need a mode of travel," Casimir says thoughtfully. "Horses."
Juem nods. "The cloud doesn't affect the animals. Unless they've been attacked by the infected, there's a possibility they're still around. If we go to the fields near the villages--"
"We might find a herd," Casimir finishes.
"Here," Lei says, leaning over the map. "Aren is going to drop us at this cove. There's a field a couple miles inland."
"And then what?" I ask. "We travel to the mountains?"
"We have to travel through the villages. Find some sort of carriage, or even a tent of some sort, anything to shield us from the cloud. There's a village here on the way. We can only hope a wave of the cloud doesn't come through before we reach there to get supplies."
I look at the map, at the village. Juem swallows but nods. Casimir frowns. "And if it does?"
"Then we won't make it to the Saulun mountains," Killian responds.
I gulp, looking out at the ocean, toward where I imagine Torinne to be, waiting in the distance.
"We should get ourselves ready and rest more if we can," Juem says. "Sleep deprivation is the last thing we need."
Casimir squeezes my hand. "I'm going to try and get some sleep."
"I'll join you soon," I say, more as a reassurance. I'm not sure I'll be able to sleep anymore, not with the anticipation of the journey ahead. He nods, rising to his feet and heading below deck. I glance over my shoulder, to where Killian stands against the railing, fiddling with something at his wrist. And even though I shouldn't, I walk towards him.
He glances sideways at me, turning the dagger over in his hand. I admire the gemmed hilt as it glints beneath the sun. Ever since I met him, he's had that same dagger on him.
"It's quite beautiful for something so deadly," I comment.
A grin tugs at his lips. "I would let you touch it, but I'd be afraid it would end up in my chest."
I pretend to mull it over. "Not yet. I need you to get to the Saulun mountains."
"And after that?"
"Haven't you ever been told not to reveal your plans to the enemy?"
He tilts his head sideways. "Enemies? Is that what we are?"
I wish I could think of you as the enemy.
"Enemies with a shared goal."
"Some may call that allies."
"Reluctant allies," I add, turning back to stare at the ocean.
He laughs, the sound making my stomach twist in a way that has nothing to do with the rocking motion of the boat. We settle into a calm silence, only the sounds of the waves sloshing against the ship to fill the space.
Killian's arm brushes against mine, warm against the icy breeze. A small voice inside of me urges me to move away, but his touch spreads across my skin with the heat of fire, warming me from the inside out.
"It reminds me of you, you know," he says, calm.
"What?"
"The ocean." He looks out at it, eyes cast on the horizon. I'm not sure if I imagine it, but he seems to inch closer.
"Shut up." I roll my eyes, moving to flick his shoulder.
Killian catches my hand mid air, forcing me to meet his gaze. My breath catches in my throat at his closeness, those dark eyes drawing me in.
I swallow, an attempt suffocate the swarm of butterflies conjuring in my stomach. I want to smile, to ease the tension between us. But I can't seem to force the gesture. Despite the light tone of the conversation, I'm not quite sure that he's joking.
The wind picks up, throwing my hair across my face. And as his hand migrates from my hand, up my arm, all the way to swipe the hair from my face and tuck it behind my air, fingers lingering to brush my cheek, my entire body freezes.
"A-are you saying you're afraid of me, Killian?" I try for a mocking tone, but my voice comes out wobbly.
"Deathly." His voice is steady, genuine. "But that isn't why the ocean makes me think of you."
Beautiful and terrifying, he'd said earlier. In the very best way.
His eyes still stuck on mine, hand still on my cheek, blocking my billowing hair back while his thrashes in the wind.
Suddenly, nothing else matters. Not the sharp bite to the breeze, not the potential of someone walking around the corner to spot us, because as Killian slowly leans closer, my body remains paralysed.
I do nothing to stop him.