Starting off right from where we left...
× × ×
Y/n: Uh... But what do I do now?
D.D.: That's a very good question
The bus driver and the nurse finally snap out of their "Resurrection hysteria" and turn their attention back to you
Nurse: Are you responsive? – She waves one hand in front of your face – You've been just through a miracle, you know that?
Y/n: Yeah, don't worry about me – You brush her off
Nurse: Do you remember what's your name? Where you live? – She backs off a little
Y/n: Of course, it's... – What's my name again? – Fuck.
You reach for your wallet in your pocket and look at your ID
Y/n: It's Y/n, yeah – "What the fuck is this now, D.D.?"
D.D.: You almost went completely braindead, so your memories are gone, so sorry but I'm unable to bring 'em back
Y/n: I'm getting off this bus now, excuse me
Taking your umbrella out, you jump off the bus and walk to a nearby cafe, just to sit a while and process all that's going on
D.D.: I wouldn't be whining so much about this if I were you, man
Y/n: Says the one who didn't lose his... You're voice is quite deep, I'll be referring to you as a male, is that okay?
D.D.: Whatever man, I don't have no dick anymore but that's fine
Y/n: Ehm, as I was saying, it wasn't you who lost memory of friends, family, your cellphone password, bank accounts, eta cetera
D.D.: I didn't see no bank card in your wallet, that means you have no bank account at all
Y/n: Right, thanks – You roll your eyes – I don't remember no password or my address, though
D.D.: Time will tell, buddy, if someone cares about you they'll call your number sooner or later
Y/n: Huh, now that you say it...
???: Oi! Y/n! – A male voice says, in a tone that doesn't evidence any threat to you
You turn your attention to a blonde guy with an eye patch
And a small devil walking beside him, like a pet
Y/n: Hey... – You rub the back of your neck, this guy doesn't ring any bells
???: Did something ad happen? You seem beat
Y/n: I have no idea how I should tell this to ya, so I'll just drop it. I lost all my memories
???: Really? You don't remember nothing? Not even your name?
Y/n: The ID in my wallet says Y/n, so I guess that's my name
???:Damn, that must be hard for ya
Y/n: I'm already done moping about it – You shrug – I can't remember what I lost so it's like I had nothing at all
???: Huh, you're just as easy-going as always – He smiles – My name's Denji, by the way, and this one chainsaw devil here is called Pochita
Y/n: Nice to meet you guys again – You lay back in your chair a little – So... You know me, right? Perhaps you remember something that's important to me, my address? My password? My bank account?
Denji: *snicker* Like you'd tell such things to a street rat like me
Y/n: It was worth the shot.
Denji: Truth is, all I know about you is your name and that you're eighteen years old like me – He takes a seat in front of you – So sorry for that but I forgot how we met a couple years ago – He pouts
Y/n: Heh, don't worry, I can't remember either
Denji: Ba-dum tss! – He plays his air drums
???: Hey mongrel! – A man driving a car stops by and leans out – I'll give ya one hundred yen if you eat this cigarette!
Denji: Really?! Gimme gimme!
The man throws the cigarette to Denji, but you catch it first
Y/n: Let me get this one done for ya
You bring the cigarette to your mouth and close it, secretly pinning it to its ceiling and then fake swallowing it
???: Gahahaha! – The man throws a 100-yen coin to Denji – Listen now kid, if any devil shows up we'll call you, try running and we'll teach you a little lesson about "having guts"
He speeds off
You bring the cigarette out of your mouth with you tongue, then you have a little puff
Y/n: Tch, this tastes like shit – You spit it to the ground then extinguish the flame by stepping on it – I don't get why so many people smoke every day
Denji: Thanks for that
Y/n: It's the least I could do for my new friend
The three of you laugh
× × ×
[Later, that night...]
While you where sleeping in Denji's shack (He offered to let you sleep under his roof since you technically lost yours)
You wake up to Denji shaking your shoulder
Denji: Stay quiet and hide, I'll be right back – He whispered
Sleepy and still not aware of the situation, you nod walk away to the darkest corner you find
???: You have five seconds before I get angry...
Denji: I'm here, let's go already
With that, he jumps into the old man's car and it speeds away with a skid
D.D.: Sleep is over boy, you got yourself a new problem
Y/n: Ugh... You still there huh? You said I should sleep better...
D.D.: Not when that kid Denji is in grave danger
Y/n: Hah, I'm just playing, Denji's too fun to die – You grow a scythe from your wrist, then lick it – This is a great opportunity to live life to its fullest... Let's save da chainsaw guy!
[Later, atop a dusty, dark warehouse]
Y/n: I fucking love those new powers, blades like a reaper, sleuth like a predator and regeneration like a vampire
D.D.: Just wait until you figure out what you're able to do just with that and a little imagination
Y/n: Spinning ninja fuckery, HERE I COME! – You bust through the warehouse's roof and plunge into the darkness
Y/n: Damn, this place smells no-good, it's like a pile of rotten shit – You stand up and cross your arms
???: WHO'S THERE?! – A demonic, yet not scary voice says
Y/n: Tell me where's my homie Denji and you'll have your answers
???: Heh...heheeheheeheha! – A floating-zombie Devil thing reveals itself – That little Devil hunter dipshit? He's already in pieces by now, you useless idiot! – Says the zombie devil, with lots of people around him, looking up and drooling lethargically
Y/n: I doubt he'd be killed so easily... "Fuck, did I really have to forget how to hotwire cars too?" But since I'm here and I found the ugliest thing in this world... – You take on a battle stance – I can't just walk away without SENDING YOU BACK TO HELL!
You rush ahead into the crowd of zombies gathered around the devil, spinning and slicing all their heads and limbs clean off
Already done with the crowd, you spot some more zombies gathered suspiciously away from their master
"That must be where Denji is!"
You grow blades from your feet, launching yourself towards said trash bin
Please be alive!-
You reap the zombies on the way and open the lid
Denji is dead! But Pochita is now attached to his chest and wires are growing out of his sliced body
Denji: POCHITA!! – He jolts up, reaching forward as if he's trying to drag Pochita back to this world
Y/n: Dude I'm so glad you're alive! I'm sorry I wasn't able to follow you in time
Denji: No, blame it on me, it was I who told you to stay back – He rubs the back of his neck
Y/n: You had no way to know I had a contract, so sorry I didn't tell you that too...
Denji: Forget that bro-
He notices Pochita's tail-cord dangling from his chest
Denji: Pochita!
Zombie Devil: You're still alive even after being tore to pieces?! Gross!! I really hate you devil hunters!
More zombies start coming into the warehouse, and Denji holds the cord with one finger
Denji: Y/n, Pochita struck a deal with me, so I could live to make my dreams reality – He growls – We'll talk about that later, but now, the only thing I want is revenge
Y/n: Aye aye captain, I'll clean the way for ya! – You speed through the warehouse, wiping them out again like the pieces of shit they are – FUCK OFF ZOMBIES! Watch how Denji will fucking SHRED your master!
Denji pulls the cord with homicidal finality, then quickly throws himself in the direction the zombie devil with his new form:
The CHAINSAW DEVIL hybrid!
Denji thrust one chainsaw into the devil's eye, then drags it down, slicing his body in half
Y/n: Handsomely done – You clap your hands – I admit that I want a chainsaw now
D.D.: Another wave of zombies is getting closer...
Y/n: More zombies – You sniff the air – Lots of them, this must be the last wave
Denji: That's good, if those fuckers are coming to me... – He gets his chainsaws going again – MAKES IT EASIER FOR ME TO KILL OFF MY DEBT!
Then, the slaughter starts again, Denji has surrendered himself to the bloodlust
You get yourself comfortable atop the trash bin from earlier, relaxing and watching as blood and gore sprays all over the place
[Later]
After the red mist of blood settles, you walk to Denji, still standing in his hybrid form
Y/n: So... What did you want to say about your dreams?
Denji: How... How is it like to have a normal life?
Y/n: Normal, I guess – You shrug – Jokes and amnesia apart, I think it would mean living like anyone else
???: Looks like someone beat us to it – Says a female voice as three people in formal clothes walk into the warehouse
???: Look, there's two people alive in there – Says a male voice
You simply watch silently as they calmly walk over to Denji
???: You're a strange one – Says the pink haired female as she checks up on Denji – You don't smell like a devil or a human
The woman hugs Denji before he falls on his ass, and his chainsaws shatter, revealing his human face
???: He's human...
???: Could it be that he was taken over by a devil? – The other male says
???: No, you can tell that by looking at their faces – Replies the female
The woman brings Denji's forehead to hers...
???: Listen, I've come here to slay the zombie devil, since I'm an official devil hunter – She pauses – You've got two choices: Either I kill you as a devil, or you can be my pet as a human
Y/n: Step on me mommy
D.D.: ...Blegh
???: If you pick the latter option I promise I'll feed you well
Denji: ...Feed? What's breakfast like?
???: Toast with butter and jam... – She puts one finger to her chin – Salad, coffee... And maybe a dessert
Denji: Sounds like heaven...
Y/n: Aight Mrs. Sugar Mommy, what about me? – You cross your arms
???: You're a human too... What's your name? – She lets the two men bring Denji's fainted body to their car
Y/n: Y/n – "Don't tell them I'm in here" says D.D. in your mind – I have a contract with a devil and I want a job
Makima: I'm Makima, pleased to meet you – She doesn't shake your hand – A job... You say? Is the blond boy your friend?
Y/n: Yep, Denji and I are pretty much best friends
Makima: Fine by me – She does a finger gun to you
Y/n: Really? – Weird, I was expecting to be left on wait for three months at least – Thank you so much!
Makima: Come with us, let's catch a snack – She beckons you over to the car
× × ×
Don't mind me, I'm just making sure the word count hits 1997 to match the anime's placing in time
Really, that's it
Bye bye :p