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BULMYEOL (diagnosis.)
It's a neurological disease that affects the stem cells responsible for regeneration, the patient is immune to all injuries even the most deadly. However, it gives rise to a tumor.
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November 2022, Georgia - Atlanta, 2AM
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HER MOUTH WAS WIDE OPEN and her hands shook. Ji-a thought she had heard wrong, or maybe it was a joke but... His voice was far too serious. She was starting to get as confused; Her life had decided to become an emotional elevator, she was going to have to deal with it. Alone. There was silence for a few seconds, so Ji-a decided to break it.
"Ethan, you're kidding right?" She had nervously laughed.
"Sorry, I'm just wondering."
"Very funny, do you realize what you are saying? What's going on?"
"Nothing. Just, I..." There was something strange but the young man was unable to describe it. He felt guilty for having the right to live and not the others... Not this innocent and brave child.
"I know. I know there's something wrong. Someone tell you this?"
"Tell me what?"
"That you don't deserve to live. What the hell is this again?!" She was getting angry.
"It's nothing."
"I swear..." She paused, "I'm not in the mood so you better tell me everything."The brunette was trying to breathe properly but the frustration was beginning to consume her again. She caressed her belly, while slowly calming down.
It was a good day, a very good day where all her problems could be solved so why?
What did the future hold for her this time?
Ethan gritted his teeth as he heard Ji-a's jerky breathing despite her efforts.
So what, he was going to make the woman he loved suffer because he couldn't figure out what was going on? He could trust her. After all, Ji-a was his home, his everything and he loved her for that. Was she capable of understanding him?
"So?" She was losing patience.
"...Some patients aren't going to survive and... I feel bad about that, I think."
Of course, she had to have known that : Survivor Syndrome. But why? Ethan had nothing and it wasn't his fault.
"You just got luckier... Stop questioning your life. I need you, Ethan."
"Sorry. I want to understand why I'm lucky, always lucky."
"What do you mean?"
Ethan took a while to explain. Once again, there was an unbearable silence. Ji-a had gotten up from her bed and was walking around her room, too tense to stay in place.
This situation was stressing her out, she was starting to feel unwell. Ethan was so close to coming back to her, so why? After this overwhelming silence, Ji-a heard Ethan again who seemed ready to speak again.
"It's just... Why do I deserve to live and she doesn't?"
"Who? Who is she?"
The black-haired man massaged his temple as if to ease a strong pain. He was at the end of his rope, he didn't want to talk anymore...
Stupid hospital, stupid letters, the young man wanted to fuck everything up.
"Her name's Eden, she's a kid here. She helped me with a lot of things like... Letters."
"Oh..."
The protagonist tensed up when she heard this word and couldn't help but take a long look at her rounded stomach. She could feel her heart tearing as Ethan made light sniffing noises.
"She was going to be eleven..." He snapped.
Ji-a's already weakened heart burst into pieces when she heard the young man's sobs.
She decided not to intervene, perhaps crying was what he needed now. The heroine muffling her cries as much as possible.
Ethan cried for at least a minute, those 60 seconds were awful.
"She's just a kid... All those words you read in the letters, she wrote them. She helped me..."
"I'm so sorry Ethan."
"Why aren't people as lucky as me? What did I do to be so lucky? Why... Do I live and she doesn't?"
The more he spoke, the more Ji-a was terrified and shared his pain. She was afraid... Afraid that he would say something she couldn't bear.
"I always get away..." he breathed heavily, "I don't think I deserve this chance. I always escape death. Even I you..."
"Ethan." Her voice was strict.
"You wanted me to die remember? If I didn't have this stupid disease I'd be dead and you might be happy?"
"You don't know what you're saying anymore."
Ji-a clenched her fists and fought her inner rage. She understood her fiancé's pain so she couldn't get mad at him but... What he was saying was beyond all understanding and even the love she had for him.
The situation was intense, on the phone it was impossible for the brunette to help her soulmate who was suffering painfully. She couldn't do much except forget his harsh words, listen to him cry and maybe try to reason with him, that's all.
"After all we've been through you can't say that." the young woman was cracking up.
"Yeah... I'm an asshole. Like you said before, remember?"
"Please don't do anything. You have to live I need you... I..."
Say it. Why are you shaking? Ji-a had stopped talking for about ten seconds, the black-haired man was confused and waited patiently for his wife to speak, but nothing.
She was shaking all over...
"Sorry for what I said I just feel... bad for others. After all, my life isn't that important."
Yes, that was him talking. It was the man she loved who dared to say that, without caring what she might think. Since his marriage, it's Ethan who unconsciously gave the heroine the desire to live, to crunch life again...
He even taught her to love, he taught her happiness.
So why? Why did this man come to doubt his own existence and decide whether it was important or not?
The boy couldn't feel guilty about being alive, especially when he knew that Ji-a was waiting for him and was capable of waiting for him all his life. The protagonist was angry and frustrated, she had nothing left to lose.
"I'm pregnant."
It was as if the man's body received a powerful electric shock. Ji-a's voice was so chilling that he knew immediately that it was no joke. He got up from his bed, his body completely stunned.
"Three and a half months. Now do whatever you want."
"Wait... Wait!" Then, she hung up abruptly, without even giving Ethan time to react.
The young man tried to call her back but there was no answer. His heart was raging in his chest and suddenly, he finally felt his limbs moving. It was like a slap in the face. It was powerful, unexpected and... It hurt.
Alone against the world, alone against himself. Despite all that Ji-a could tell him, Ethan was the only person who could measure his life and its importance. His brain was scrambled and hundreds of memories were mixed up.
As the doctors returned to his room to retrieve the laptop, Ethan was still unable to move, his eyes blank, heart aching... He was slowly realizing what those words meant. He was going to have a child, he had created life while he wanted to destroy his own.
In the meantime, the door of Ji-a's room was opened and Yoona ran into it. She was out of breath and saw the heroine sitting on the bed, her eyes filled with water.
"You..."
"I didn't mean for it to happen like this..."
"What happened? I heard you scream at the phone."
Without further thought, the woman's arms wrapped around Ji-a tightly. The brunette wanted to explain everything but the words were tears now and anything became hard to say. How to convince someone who has the fate of everything in his hands?
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new ff out !!