"Hey..." Minho shifted, checking his back in the mirror before calling, "Jisung?"
From the other room, the mentioned bubbled, "Yeah?"
"Can you trim your nails?"
"Did..."
Minho continued to stare at the irritated lines scraped down his back without a hint of mercy as they flowed freely down his muscles. Blooming rosette vines blossoming from his spine, growing where their tendrils were able to reach. Blinking mindlessly as he twisted over his shoulder, following along their erratic patterns reflected in the bathroom mirror, memorizing the lengths they stretched along his back. Only peeling his eyes off the stinging abrasions when the camboy popped his head into the bathroom as well, catching his gaze with a smile possessing the power of a warm spring day, before Jisung noticed the furious scrapes screaming their hatred for the world with every passing second their existence was culminated and that addicting grin fell away to a wide shock.
Jisung gasped lightly.
"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you, I'm sorry. I can help you clean them. I'm so sorry," The cambiy poured the apologies as if he was a broken faucet gushing it's limited supply of water out. Frantically hurrying himself to squeeze into the bathroom as he rushed with that frenzied vibrance scurrying from one side to the other, carefully pressing around Minho with those heartstopping hoodie paws to sift through the cabinets, grabbing up what looked to be a hand towel he kept hidden away in a far drawer now slung over his shoulder, followed by a tube of some type of ointment. Jisung came toward the sink, gaze trained on the hacker as he kept apologizing, "I'm so sorry, Bunny, I didn't—"
"No, no, it's okay. I like it, I actually like it," Minho leaned out of his way, doing his best not to bump the lithe frame by his side as he pumped a little bit of soap into his hand. Watching the camboy work with a strained concentration as his face flushed a heavy blush. A slight pout to his lips that caused the hacker's heart to further hard enough in his chest for him to repress the urge to lean over and kiss the fuck out of Jisung while he was attempting to help him.
"You have a nice back by the way," Jisung murmured as he pressed away from the sink, quickly rubbing his hands together as the soap frothed up.
Minho smirked at him through the mirror, "Looks even better scratch—"
The cold and soapy hands touched his back.
"Ah FUCK!"
"I'm sorry!!!"
As Jisung busied himself with meticulously caring for the multitude of threaded scratches on his back, Minho silenced the rest of his complaints in his throat as best as his overdramatic mind was capable of doing. Instead coming to balance himself on the bathroom sink in front of him. The press of his knuckles on the frigid marble swirls supporting his weight while he wordlessly watched the camboy exerting an alert diligence into the task before him, delicate fingers which brushed and lingered in featherlight touches as he did his best to spread that frothed soap on the older's back without eliciting more pained lurched Minho did his utmost to control. The sensation of the hands rubbing into him, if not for the occasional stab from the fresh scratches stinging in protest, swelling a kind of relaxation into Minho.
A pleasant warmth which hovered in the corners of the quiet bathroom while Jisung worked that made him flutter his eyes shut with the amiable touch ghosting bumps along his arms. Treating him in those homely ways as if Minho truly meant something to him, meant more than the clandestine late night meetings and untamed desire lusting for a little more of the other's trained touch. Treating him with a gentleness as he soaked the hand towel and languidly swiped away at the suds of soap spread across his back, more of those content tingles traveling after the touch in wakes of the firing stings, chasing after the camboy's caresses like a timid sunlight racing to catch up to the night. Treating him as if he wasn't the unknown man he was with the fast daubs pressing away what drops of water were left along the lines, blotting bit by bit the aches away.
Before Minho could relish too much in the reassurance the other was openly welcome to him, he suppressed the swelling in his heartbeat down. Shoving the feeling as far away as he was able to; He shouldn't begin to think of Jisung in those ways. Not fondly, not as if the camboy wished to treat him as anything other than the casual hookup he was, not as if Jisung gave him those temporary feelings dusting along his skin. As soon as he began to admit that, as soon as he allowed himself to be content in the comfortable silence stretching between them while they were occupied with their own thoughts,
Minho knew he'd be in hot water. Boiling water. Scalding water. Bubbling water. Like a lobster being cooked in a creek. Up the creek. Down the creek. In the creek. Out of the creek. Stuck in the creek, by a rock. Between a rock and a hard place. A hard place, like a pickle. He was in a pickle. But there weren't pickles in the forest. Stuck, by something tough, like a tree. A tree he climbed out on, dangling on the branches. Hanging out on the limb. He'd be completely screwed. Fucked.
No feelings.
That's easy to do.
Not so much when the person is gently pressing antibiotics into his scratches, the sensation equating more to a back rub than an impromptu treatment, as his other chilled hand looped around him, rubbing circles into his chest while he busied himself.
"Bunny, I'm sorry if it's wrong to ask because, I know we're not... We're not close or anything, but," Jisung cut his sentence off as he finished the last of the coats atop his scratches. The hacker gradually peeling his eyes back open as the sparkling feeling left him alone to the frigid cold of the bathroom, reluctantly shifting as he returned back to the world from the dimension he was sent to, coming to watch Jisung quickly screw the cap of the antibiotics back on before escaping from behind him to rinse his hand off in the sink. Coming to meet Minho's ridiculously relaxed gaze that struggled to stay open, "Could you stay with me a little longer tonight?"
Minho internally groaned.
Of course he asks today, fuck me.
"I have a job that I've been procrastinating on due tomorrow, I have to work on it," The hacker sighed, the ease in his muscles allowing him to tip his head over, colliding with Jisung's shoulder as he shut the faucet off and tried to reorganize the bathroom as best as he was able to with the new weight on his body. With a muted hum, he pressed a kiss to the younger's shoulder and offered against the smooth skin, "You could come with me. To my apartment."
Jisung tensed and startled away from him,
"No!"
The hacker furrowed his eyebrows at him.
Puzzled with the sudden lurch separating them, the odd shock dancing in the other's eyes and the rigidity freezing the younger still.
Did I go too far with the offer?
Minho curled his fingers tighter into their bundled fists.
DID I FREAK HIM OUT? MINHO YOU DUMB HIMBO?!?! CAN YOU NOT BE A COMPLETE IDIOT??? AHHHUUUFHHH???
"No, I mean, I'd love to go to your apartment, I'd love to sit with you while you do your work, it would be so much fun. I want to be with you but," Jisung hurriedly explained, with each word the tenseness in him draining away as he looked the hacker over. He inched closer again, a strange glimmer in his eyes that Minho couldn't recognize; A mix of something in the night searching for solace from the dark, something bright which glows on signs in the evenings, something lonely in the corner of the world. His voice drew quiet as he wondered, "Can I tell you something? Promise you won't be mean?"
"I promise," Minho agreed. He quirked a small smile to the younger, doing his best to affirm it was alright to console with him.
Doing his utmost to notice Jisung's gaze as it wandered to the marble counter of the bathroom sink, fingers outstretching to case the dripped swirls of abysss on a clear sky. Carefully, allowing the camboy to sweep a spot clear with a hand before he hopped onto the counter, sitting atop it to wiggle back into a comfortable seating position and face Minho. The older forced to tip his head ever so slightly up, to move over with the beams of his supporting fists, setting them on either side of the other's legs to cage him in, the knees which bumped into his hips subconsciously widening to allow Minho to sink between them. To rest against the counter as the sweatpant covered thighs brushed along his bare waist in their teasing ways. Those simple movements being enough for the hacker to warn his mind; Not the time. Don't be horny. Be serious.
Jisung kicked his legs around, his heels tapping against the cabinet below him. His hands pressed together, bumping into fists as he rammed his knuckles into one another, another pout protruding his bottom lip as he focused down to their collisions, "I... There's something wrong with me."
"There's something wrong with everyone, to some extent," Minho lifted a hand, undoing the fist he kept to press a palm to the younger's leg. Slowly rubbing up, and down, calmly, gently, attempts to calm the clear unease in the other's shifting shoulders, attempts to call the pensive gaze back to his eyes.
The camboy went quiet. Knuckles continuing to hit together.
His head turned away.
"I have agoraphobia."
"Oh, yeah. Okay," Minho hummed, continuing the motions of his hand along the younger's thigh to ease him.
"That was a very calm reaction."
"My little brother's friend has agoraphobia too. I can't say I'm an expert but I know a few things here and there."
"That saves me a lot of explanation then. About two years ago, this..." The camboy trailed off, his eyes still kept off the one in front of him. Still kept trained on the plain tiles of the bathroom's floor, though he didn't seem to be looking at their plastered squares. Looking somewhere far beyond them, somewhere distance as he disappeared. Vanished between the sparkle in his eye dying out for a flickering moment and the retreat of his body curling back to the mirrors behind him. His feet stopped rocking against the cabinet doors below them, stopping hitting them as their gentle rattles quieted down. Those motions stopping for the fastest moment, before he upturned a lip at that vast separation, "It doesn't matter. I get severe panic attacks whenever I leave my house. I've done therapy for it and I've taken medication but... But it often doesn't seem to work."
He continued, "There's so many reasons why it developed. I'm afraid of what's outside, I'm afraid of dying, I'm afraid of other people, I started my camboy work because I wanted to... Expose myself? I guess? I wanted the exposure therapy. And it's helped me but... But I'm afraid of getting sick too. I see people who are sick and I'm afraid I'll get sick. I'm afraid I'll catch something and die."
Minho stilled.
Ah... That means, I probably can't tell him.
A strange feeling which gripped him violently.
He'll probably think I'll infect him or something.
"So if I catch a cold...?" Minho quirked a simper, teasing to ignore the odd pain building inside him. Twisting him into a discomfort as he continued brushing his hand over the younger's leg, proceeding to offer him more of that calming connection again as the thighs shifted on the freezing counter to sit more comfortably.
Jisung's eyes snapped back from their far distance. Coming to widen at the hacker as he fretted, "Don't come near me."
Like that, a blade stabbed through his chest. Ripped through his heart as his stomach churned with a nausea.
Anyway, it shouldn't have mattered that much to him in the first place. Jisung was a fuck buddy, nothing more.
"I know it's unrealistic. I know that it's not true, I won't get so sick I die from a simple cold, and I don't really think that. I'm not that kind of person, I understand. But, the... the... I start panicking and it's hard to get past it," The camboy's voice collapsed slowly as he pointed at his own head, afterward both his hands dropping to his lap to snatch up Minho's moving hand to hold within his own. Bundling up their fingers into a laced, bonded mess which made the Minho's joints ache at their strange angle, not that he would gladly or willing admit he was in more pain to Jisung while he was occupied with venting, "The only person who I seem to be alright with seeing is my best friend. And now you. But you give me the same feeling of comfort and security he does. I don't even know why, you..."
The camboy looked to Minho.
His solemn eyes scanning over him for a moment.
Before he whispered,
"I don't know you."
Another blade stabbed through Minho's chest as those saddened eyes stared him down. He squeezed his hand in the bundled grip they kept, hoping the winded tangle of the connection would be simply enough to give him the same reassurance he gave Minho moments prior to this moment, "What do you mean? You know me."
"You won't even tell me your name," Jisung kept his eyes focused down as he smiled weakly, "How could I possibly say I know you?"
"Love," He called gently.
The camboy glanced back up to him, a breath visibly hitching in his chest as Minho told softly, "You know far more about me than what my name alone can tell you. With you, I want to be Bunny. I want to be your Bunny."
Jisung let out that shaky breath with an unusual looseness grabbing hold of his features.
A glimmer of something warm that settled within his eyes as he released the bundled of their hands, the hacker immediately finding their place hooked on Jisung's thighs as his neck was gripped gently. His jaw, thumbs brushing a delicate line into his cheeks as the Cheshire held him in those adoring palms.
Leaning down ever so slightly to connect their lips slowly.
No feelings.
Minho smiled against the kiss.
Yeah, I'm screwed.
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