***Just a small chapter. Sorry dears didn't get time to actually write. I really overwhelmed after seeing those comments on aksing me the update really happy. Happy reading❤️***
Arjun Pov:
"What are you thinking Arjun?" vinoth asked me.
"I never once treated her properly vinoth" I says while throwing the stones on the running water, as we both stopped on our way to digest whatever I heard about her.
"I never once tried to hear her side. "
"I never once behaved as her husband"
I laughed as soon as I uttered those sentences.
"Leave about been husband, I never once tried to behave as a human being with her."
"Dad is right Vinoth. Compared to her am nothing vinoth. When I grownup in a friendly environment. There she was trying to escape from physical abuse. When I was loving varshini, there she was trying to escape from Dhanraj inappropriate behaviour."
"After marriage she would have came to my home with lots of dreams right?. Dream to have a good life atleast thereafter. But what did I do?." I laughed.
"I behaved like a jerk. With just 2 months of her mother's death, I too showed her my hate. But the irony is she don't know why the fuck I hate her in first place. "
" What is the difference between myself and that Dhanraj, vinoth. Nothing. "
"Am not any different vinoth. Without knowing her mentality I spoked many things. Many horrible things, and the most cruel thing is I took her innocence when I was drunked. Which she has saved from that cruel man only to give Naah I taken from her which is nothing but a marital rape right?. And most importantly I even had the audicity to accuse her on had sex with me. Wow how much of an scoundrel I could be. "
" Why she didn't leaved me vinoth? "
" Why she didn't leaved me? "
" All I did shown is a hell to her. "
" Why she even put up with me for those 9 damn years. On our first night I spoked ugly words about her and pushed her to step on the glass pieces. Am no different that that sreesha right? "
" Am no different from them. "
" First I have to punish myself vinoth. Am not meant to be call as human being itself. " I frsutaredly says at him.
" Stop arjun, just make everything right atleast now. "vinoth syas by wrapping his hand on my shoulder.
"I don't know how to make it right vinoth. For all those mistakes I can't even go and ask her to forgive me. No one will forgive too. "
I laughed.
My tears were falling down on its own.
__________
"Appa am sorry" I asked him by sitting on the floor.
He didn't said anything.
"Appa can I sleep on your lap?" I asked my dad. He looked at me for sometime and then he nods his head.
"Will you forgive me paa?" I asked him by lying on his lap.
"Paaa"
"Arjun somethings required some time to be heal. But somethings will never get earsed with any good doings also."
I nods at him.
"But you know for some problems, someone's affection will/ may heal Arjun. If you happen to meet Yazhini Arjun just try to heal her Arjun."
"Am not the one who have to forgive you Arjun. It is Yazhini, she has to forgive you. She has gone through a lot Arjun."
"I couldn't even able to hear it paa. I don't know how she gone through those paa."
"Yes, but do you what even at that situation, yazhini asked me whether you are okay with this marraige or not. Never seen such a person in this selfish world Arjun. But I acted as a selfish dad to save your life. At one side, her life was getting damaged by badmouthing her character, she was a pure soul Arjun. To me at that time she mattered me, that's why I accepted for her mom's promise to save her. But at the same time I got your answer as no since you loved another girl, as a dad I don't want to impose my choice on you. That's why I tried to speak with that girl's parents but when it turned out to be a horrible part. I just took that chance to save your life. But I went wrong, I wronged it seems I thought of saving her from that misery to only end up pushing her in another misery. " dad says.
" The life which she lived here is nothing different from the life which she lived before marraige Arjun. The only difference is she used to get a beatings, tortures a lot than here. "he says.
I looked up at him.
" I know Arjun, you also given her a physical abuse. On knowing that I tried many times to ask you Arjun. But she always gives a reply saying that, an hurted soul need sometime to get heal. Since she thought you are ashamed of her appearance."
"Am not meant to forgiven right paajak. She will never forgive me paa."
"You are right" he says.
"Appa I.. Will she be okay?" I asked him.
"She has to Arjun."
"Am not a good son right paa?"
"Every one is good one Arjun. Only the circumstance made them as wrong."
"Won't you speak with me like earlier paa?"
But he didn't give any reply.
Time skipped:
I waited for Varun whose school time is going to end.
I laughed at myself after seeing some parents were waiting for their child, whereas I never even took some time to see my son along with her.
Only one time, we both visited this school. And again I behaved as jerk at the end of the day.
'Whne you behaved as a human being Arjun.' my mind taunted me.
"Paaaa" I heard varun's voice.
"You here?" he asked me. I just scooped him in my arms.
I want to make everything right. As soon as I came back home after knowing her past I just smashed every alcohol bottles on the floor. I don't want to be that jerk again. I don't want my son to see that side of mine again in this life.
Those alcohols I started to consume after her death news.
"Yes Varun"
"Is Mumma came, where is mumma?" He questioned me. I nods as no.
His mood got sadened.
"How about ice cream Varun?" I asked him to which Varun immediately nodded as yes.
"But" I said.
"But what paa?" he asked me with his doe eyes which me reminds her. Yes yazhini has a big eyes.
'Miracle you did noticed her then.' my mind again taunted me.
"Varun has to give his precious kiss to his dad"
He looked at me for sometime.
I thought he won't kiss me becayse of my sudden change in behavior but he proved me wrong.
He grabbed my face and kissed my both cheeks.
"Varun, appa loves you a lot. "
"Varun too love both appa and Amma"
I smiled at him.
"Appa can you please.. Take me to mom?"he aksed me. I don't know what to say to him.
" Please paaa, please. I will be a good son. I won't disturb you ever palaa. "
Without knowing what to say I kept mum. He looks really sad. It's all because of me.
"We will meet your mumma soon baby" I says at him.
'Your dad will find your mumma soon baby' I promised.
I hope I will find her soon.
"Papa icecream" Varun asked me.
"Let's go champ" wihh that I took him.
__________
"Varun for appa?" I asked him when he scooped the ice cream.
"Here" he showed at me. I smiled and ate from his spoon.
"Varun here" this time I says by showing him the scoop of different flavour.
His eyes twinkled and ate from my spoon.
....
"What is this Varun you have two homework" I read out while taking his dairy from his bag.
"Ye.. Yeah papa" he says while looking at me with a fear.
"Instead of doing homework what you are doing there Varun?" I questioned him.
"I.. Papa.. Mu.. Mumma h.. He.. Helps me..." he stopped.
"How about your papa helps you in homework?" I asked him in a soft tone. I don't want my son to have fear on me.
"Rea.... Really you know m.. Maths too?"
"Why varun your papa knows baby." I says at him confusedly.
"But mumma said that you... Don't know.... M.....maths...thats why you are not helping me." he asked me with his doe eye.
I took him in my lap.
I laughed for his answer. So my wife did said a lame excuse.
'What else she will say, she cleaned up your bad doings always. She portrayed you as a good son and good father to everyone, but all you did is been a jerk with her. ' I thought.
"Your dad knows Varun" I said.
With that I took his book and started to see the calculations are regarding the multiplication, divisions.
"Come baby"
__________
"Appa you shouldn't us.. Use.... Phone..... We should calculate by ourself... Or else mam will scold me.... Papa. "varun shouted at me while taking the notebook from me.
Okay all I did is just calculted the problems via phone.
" Then what I have to do? "I asked him.
" I will do papa"he says while sitting on my lap.
"See how big the question is.... 47 multiply by 98....but my teacher just teached us for 10 multiply by 9. This is why I hate papa. " he complained at me.
I looked at my son.
I smiled.
"8*7 how much papa?" he aksed me.
"56"
"Okay then 6 here, and 5 in the mind...." like that our homework session goes.
"Am tired" he says while lying on the bed.
"Varun kanna, come on get up." I says.
'It's her who always calls him as kanna.'
"Am sleepy papa please" he says while wrapping his hand on my chest. I took him and made him to lie on my chest while I lies on the bed.
Within few seconds he slept.
_____________
"Paati, am hungry" Varun shouts while I takes the seat beside him
"Wait varun" I heard maa voice.
"I don't know where your mumma raned away by leaving you." maa murmured while walking.
"Maaa" I shouts at her.
"What arjun?. Are you going to support her?"
"Will you stop badmouthing about my wife?" I asked her politely.
To which she just ignored and walked inside the kitchen again to take out something else.
"Here am the one who is doing everything."
"Varun baby come, grandpa will buy you your favourite poori" dad asked him tp which he immediately nods his head.
"I will change in a new dress then." varun immediately runned inside our room.
"This is what yazhini been doing in our home without complaining anything, but here you can't even able to do it for few days." dad says.
My mom just walked inside angrily.
I just walked back inside our room
"Where are you Yazhini?" I murmured.
__________
"What you are planning to do now, Arjun?" vinoth asked me.
"I myself don't know vinoth. I don't know" I frustratedly says at him.
"It's been 3 weeks Arjun"
"I need her vinoth." i slowly says at him.
"Then go and find her Arjun."
"Am trying but I couldn't able to find her vinoth. I don't know how am going to find her. But I nee....."
"Hy Arjun"
"Hi vinoth" i heard varshini's voice.
"H... Hi" I replied.
She takes her seat before mine.
"H...... Hi" vinoth too said.
"I got a chance to meet Arjun earlier. But didn't got a chance to meet you vinoth. How are you doing?" she asked him.
I looked away.
"Yeah am fine Varshini" vinoth says in a little angrier tone
"I know I know you must be angry on me. I did a coward thing but that's all...."
"What you did is wrong Varshini" vinot said in a little harsher tone.
"Yes it's wrong, but can we leave those?"
"How could you just come and ask in such a way Varshini?. I don't understand actually, how Coul...."
"See vioth it's already 9 years. Why we have to mourn on those past. Let's forget tho...."
"Like seriously varshini, do you have any idea on how Arjun lived his life?. Why you didn't said that you were going to get married, instead all you informed is your fake death news. He was living in his guilt, do you know...."
"Vinoth, leave it." I cutted him off this time.
"No arjun, what she did is wrong."
"Vinoth, its not like what you are thinking. I can't defy my dad words. He is my everything. I can't leave my dad for a love, vinoth. We all know in which situation we were there, his family was not agreed, and the same goes with me. We all know that the love which we had won't work out. Not all the love needs to end up in a marriage right vinoth. Some are not meant to end up in marriage. And now looking back, I don't know whether I would be this happy if I ended up with arjun. But that doesn't mean what I did is right too. "
I kept looking at her.
'Is she is the same whom I loved?'
"Vinoth am getting late" I says at him.
"Arjun wait" vinoth shouts at me.
"Am not here to interfere in your life here Varshini. Yes it's 9 years back, and now you are living a healthy life. But do you know what life did Arjun lived?" he aksed her.
"What are you saying?" she aksed him.
"Arjun what is it?" she aksed me this time since vinoth didnt opened his mouth.
"He lived all those 9 years in a guilt varshini. He thought yazhini is the reason for you and he got saprated. He thought she is the reason, for your death. He lived his life in guilt. While living his life guilt, he punished yazhini for the mistake which she never did. But whereas you, all you did is a lie. A lie, a single lie which actually didnt allowed two souls to never live their life whereas you started to live your life happily without even any remorse. "
She looked at me.
" Ar... Arjun am... S.. Sorry, b..... I thought you will easily move on if I was not there as part of your life. "she says.
"Arj.. Arjun please say something" she aksed me guiltily.
"It's okay, it's fine, sorry am getting late" with that I walked out of the restaurant.
'Am sorry Yazhini'
"Am sorry" I slowly murmurs.
Author's pov:
How was the chapter?
Not a good one, sorry didn't get time.
Please do comment❤️
Atlast got married, but.... Story crossed 500k thank you so much for your every suppor💕.
Love yourself💕