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user12636372's review: ⭐️
ITS SO BAD I WANT TO GIVE YOU A ZERO, BUT THATS NOT POSSIBLE SO I GIVE YOU A ONE.
xxxxuser2's review: ⭐️
how is this shitty piece of trash even considered a novel?? it's more of an sadistic, pervert old man's fantasies disguised as a reverse harem story! absolutely disgusting, zero stars.
xxxxlover's review: ⭐️
i only read this shitty written piece because of the online trend started by a random user in the web novel community, and holy shit i want to gouge my eyes out and pour bleach down my sockets. whoever this author is deserves to burn in hell.
user5367372's review: ⭐️
i just set up a therapy appointment because of this book, and not because it made me feel a good kind of emotional damage, but because it ruined my entire life.
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Luca sat on his couch, bundled up in a thick layer of blankets with a bag of chips placed messily on his lap as his bloodshot eyes sucked in the negative reviews he was receiving every hour of the day. His long fingers adjusted the blue light glasses on his face as he stared at the screen brighter then his future will ever be. Or so it seemed until his small web novel blew up. Well even then, his future was never going to be bright with how much everyone hated him, even if they didn't know it was him explicitly who wrote such a shit piece of work.
How did this all happen exactly? Well, one day, Luca was feeling extremely bored and decided to write a novel. He was never a creative person, so he just used every a cliche plot line, with cliche characters, and a cliche setting. The whole story was just a bunch of cliches. And yet, people ate it up.
Like starving pigs, they gobbled and devoured every chapter he wrote despite how cliche it was just because it fit their beloved low standards in a book, so when his story started gaining more and more views, Luca decided to... twist things up. The novel writing never got him out of his never ending boredom, but it was at least a distraction, but now, he could play with his readers and makes things a little more interesting.
And that it did.
Changing the story's theme completely in middle of the book definitely shocked a few people reading it. At first, they assumed it was just a playful joke, but when he continued posting the alarming red-flag chapters, readers became outraged and started shit talking the book. And yet, he never stopped posting these outrageous chapters.
With that, it seemed soon the whole of the web novel community discovered this story that sparked anger in people, and therefore, out of mere curiosity, others read this book. Obviously, this lead to extreme scarring in the memory lobe as people sobbed and raged over having read such a monstrosity.
And Luca ate it up.
He inhaled the hate comments and ridicule like it was his last breath. Like he was stranded in the desert for a week and finally found water.
Why? Because it was fun. Entertaining in his very, very boring life that only seemed to consist of sleeping, eating, shitting, and working. And maybe he was a bit of a sadist as those people depicted him as. There was absolutely no harm in watching those suffer mentally because of him. Plus, it was mostly there fault for not immediately laying off the book after they got deeper into his insane thoughts.
And so, Luca sat completely unharmed in his cozy apartment, winning this silent war he had against the web novel community because while they were out publicly complaining, he was just receiving even more fame and views, further fulling his hidden desire.
Everything was perfect.
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MEANWHILE
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A woman stood up, her body shaking as she glared at the piece of technology she learned humans called a phone. She couldn't believe what she had just read. What piece of garbage. What disgustingly gross thing she laid her heavenly eyes upon. This horrific book should never have come a hundred meters near her presences! It was atrocious that her god-like mind has to absorb such trash.
She was utterly furious.
And she would reenact her revenge on this cruel, monstrous author.
Unfortunately, she didn't quite have the power she used to, but she did somehow obtain a grimoire. How exactly? That was a story for another time. What truly mattered at this moment was her cursing the creator of that... she didn't want to think about it. Just the lingering thought of it had a shiver racking her figure.
Maybe afterward she could find something that could erase her memories, so she would never have to relive that awful experience again.
She sauntered over to the dusty novel displayed on top of her oddly placed lectern in the middle of the small apartment she resides in. It was a way she could constantly admire the grimoire she sto- borrowed from a friend of hers. And now, she could finally put it to good use.
Most who had grimoire's have some sort of magic running through their veins, but she was an exception at the moment. Until she could finally retrieve her stolen powers, but for now, she's have her fun in the mortal world. And so far this awful human was ruining the 50 peaceful she's had here, so she'd have him eradicated.
Her pale, bony fingers contrasted the browning yellow of the crumpled pages as she briskly turned them, a menacing smile on her thin, red lips.
???: Hmmm, drowning? No that would be too boring and basic. Plus, how could they possibly drown reasonably unless they were near some body of water and I have no idea where they live...
???: Burning alive? Could be done by an incredibly stupid person, but still may cause alarm with the gods and I can't risk being caught.
???: Wait, hold on. What is this?!
The black-haired woman's perfect face creased as her eyebrows furrowed in clear confusion on the page she had stumbled upon in the large grimoire. A seemingly too good to be true, highly convenient spell for the pl- for her was presented in front of her. Now these where the words she liked reading.
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FICTION TO REAL LIFE
desc: have a desire to turn a fictional character you love into real life? well you're just in luck with this super awesome spell! All you need is the book in which your characters reside in and a pint of blood for each character you wish to summon! And of course the formation of the ritual circle bellow in order to perform this. Just wait 24 hours and they should begin forming in front of your very eyes! Have fun ;)
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The description of this spell seemed very unprofessional for such a high being, but that wasn't her biggest complaint. It was the fact she had to use so much blood just to create these characters in real life! Yes, she knew the only magic she could perform was blood since she currently had no magic as of now, but all of her precious blood! She must have been holding a massive amount of resentment towards this author for her to use even a mere drop of herself. She hoped this would be worth it.
Her plan exactly? Well it was simple and would work perfectly. She would first have all the characters she desired with her and easily manipulate them with her charms into believing that she was their rescuer and this author was plotting to kill them if they didn't kill them first. And with their lack of knowledge and insight into this word, everything would go to plan as they conquered this planet. Screw not alerting the gods, with these powerful and their inability to interfere with mortal affairs, she's be golden! And even if they did send their trusted subordinates to wipe her out, these characters would be far too powerful and OP because that's just how the author created them which was the only thing she was grateful that smell writer did. It was just so perfect! And totally wouldn't go wrong at all! And totally wasn't filled with plot holes!
The woman grinned maniacally as she got everything ready, performed the spell easily as she had lots of blood to spare since she wasn't a weak human, and drifted to sleep quiet easily, happily dreaming of what was to come tomorrow with her creations.
Little did she know, she missed something super important at the very bottom i'm very tiny text like many ads you see in the human world warning you of all the awful side effects of a medicine meant to help you...
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ʷᵃʳⁿⁱⁿᵍ ᵐⁱᵈ: ᶜʰᵃʳᵃᶜᵗᵉʳˢ ʷⁱˡˡ ᵇᵉ ⁿᵉʷᵇᵒʳⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ˢˡᵒʷˡʸ ᵈᵉᵛᵉˡᵒᵖ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᶜᵒᵘʳˢᵉ ᵒᶠ ᵃ ᶠᵉʷ ʷᵉᵉᵏˢ ᵈᵉᵖᵉⁿᵈⁱⁿᵍ ᵒⁿ ᵃᵍᵉ ⁱⁿ ⁿᵒᵛᵉˡ.
ʷᵃʳⁿⁱⁿᵍ ᵉˣᵗʳᵉᵐᵉ: ᵃˡᵗʰᵒᵘᵍʰ ᵗʰᵉʸ ᵃᵍᵉ, ⁱᵗ'ˢ ᵛᵉʳʸ ᵘⁿˡⁱᵏᵉˡʸ ʸᵒᵘ ʷⁱˡˡ ᵇᵉ ᵃᵇˡᵉ ᵗᵒ ᶜʰᵃⁿᵍᵉ ᵗʰᵉⁱʳ ᵖᵉʳˢᵒⁿᵃˡⁱᵗʸ ᶠʳᵒᵐ ᵗʰᵉ ᵒʳⁱᵍⁱⁿᵃˡ ˢᵗᵒʳʸ, ˢᵒ ᵈᵒⁿ'ᵗ ᵇʳⁱⁿᵍ ᵃⁿʸ ᵉᵛⁱˡ ᴼᴾ ᶜʰᵃʳᵃᶜᵗᵉʳˢ ᵘⁿˡᵉˢˢ ʸᵒᵘ ʷᵃⁿᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ʷᵒʳˡᵈ ᵗᵒ ᵉⁿᵈ ᵒʳ ᵏⁿᵒʷ ʰᵒʷ ᵗᵒ ᵗᵃᵐᵉ ᵗʰᵉᵐ.
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Luca could feel his eyes begin to drop as tiredness succumbed his body. Until a sharp pain wracked inside his skull as if someone had plunged deep within it, grabbing at his insides. The male let out a startled scream as he fell forward, toppling onto the carpet below the couch as he clutched his head. His eyes teared up as the pain became excruciating, clutching his head as he sobbed pathetically, snot and spit releasing from his holes. Luca was in so much pain to the point he blacked out. But not without hearing a strange robotic noise within his head.
[Good night host...]
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a/n: this is gonna be a messy story bc i can't write any good ones 🤭
again, an excuse to have many plot holes with a novel that's all already shitty inside this book! perfect cover story for this author. so if things don't make sense, they probably shouldn't even to me 😋
also italics mean thoughts. i'm trying a new way of speak for funsies so it's gonna be like
Luca: Hey
Yay 😜