CHAPTER TWENTY SIX
As soon as Violet got to the house, she went to have a shower.
Standing underneath the hot water, unwanted flashbacks hit her at once.
Lily's cold dead eyes.
Her own screams.
Violet squinted as she fought the urge to scream again loudly.
Secretly Violet thought at least she had Ellie and Joel. But what did that matter without Lily.
Everytime she opened her eyes she saw her sister's eyes.
Her heart was in a constant state of anguish, and she wished Joel would just hold her and tell her everything would be okay.
Sobs wracked Violet's body as she sunk to the shower's floor.
When she was eight and she lost her parents, she didn't have a choice, she had to fight, to push on.
But now, the future was cloudy and unforgiving.
And that terrified her.
Violet stood with shaky legs,
trying to calm herself down,
counting to one hundred,
naming three things she saw.
To be honest, Violet felt weak.
Like a fragile, broken person.
There didn't seem to be a way out,
of the drowning, the nightmares, the breaking down 50000 times a day.
She was tired.
Sometimes she wished she had died with her sister, or done the same thing that Henry had.
Fate was cruel.
As Violet walked down the stairs she moved towards Maria, leaving Ellie upstairs to shower.
Maria and Violet sat in an awkward silence for a while before Maria snapped,
"Do you know all the innocent people Joel has killed? And you are just letting him poison that child."
Violet stared at Maria for a second, she felt an unbridled rage filling up inside her, how dare she?
before replying,
"Yes.
Do you know how many people Tommy killed?
And he loves that little girl,
so stop talking about shit you don't understand.
We have been through hell together.
My sister died trying to get here. I had to kill her, Ellie was right there. I care more about that kid than I would like to admit. You think I would let Joel be anywhere near my sister or El?
I have done bad things,
we all have, this fucking world turns you into a horrible person if you aren't careful, but the fact is that while you were safe in this commune, we were starving, dying and being tortured.
So don't stand there on your high horse and think you know the whole story.
Joel is a good man.
He has lost more than most."
A silence ensued as Maria stood with shock painted on her face.
Violet turned around, counting to one hundred and struggling not to snap again. It was just a question.
But it was about Joel.
And after everything they had been through, no one gets shit on him when they truly don't understand.
Suddenly they heard Ellie calling Violet's name. She got down the stairs and all of the tension vanished from the room.
Violet would do anything for Ellie, no matter the costs.
Violet sat on the couch as Ellie had her hair trimmed, she was against it at first but after some reassurance from Violet, she caved.
Violet stood with a glass of whiskey, grimacing with every sip.
She heard about Sarah, Joel's daughter, but didn't want to ask any follow ups, because Joel would tell them when he was ready.
She knew Joel would've been a great father, and now she understood why he said he understood, he knew better than most.
If someone told Lily's story, they would botch it, they don't know and they truly don't understand.
She wasn't really listening to the conversation until she heard,
"But there are clearly things you don't know about Joel."
Violet rolled her eyes about to snap at the woman, before Ellie responded making Violet smirk,
"Oh, like how he used to kill people? I know about that."
Maria continued nonetheless,
ignoring the violent glare Violet was sending her,
"So then you understand my concern."
Violet skulled her drink as Ellie said he didn't do that anymore, then Maria asked if he had stopped killing people.
Violet snapped after that,
"The river outside your town, is literally called the river of death.
Did you kill them too?"
Ellie snickered as she continued for Violet, Violet loved that Ellie was sticking up for Joel. Just shows how much she cares for him.
Maria ignored Violet,
wanting to question Ellie instead,
Ellie continued,
"And Tommy did it, too. Are you worried about him?"
Violet nodded and poured herself another drink, Ellie watched her in worry. She could hear Violet sobbing in the shower. She was snooping it was an accident, but her sobs were unforgiving and loud, Ellie knew Violet would never open up about how she was feeling, especially to Ellie, she would feel like a burden.
Ellie felt the same way.
Maria spoke quickly,
"Tommy was following Joel. The way you both are now."
Violet ended up leaving the room, going to grab the coat Maria gave her, she came back down and Maria told her that they were going to the movies and she was free to join, Violet just wanted to crawl into bed and never have to deal with anything ever again.
So Violet declined but not before talking to Ellie,
"You stay close to Maria okay?
I'll see you later tonight,
we can see if they have any of that starlight comics you like so much."
Ellie nodded and Violet despite all instincts telling her not to, she pulled the girl into a hug before speaking softly,
"Thank you."
Ellie smiled up at Violet looking slightly confused before Maria called her name to leave.
Violet stepped away and moved back to her glass sitting down at the table, staring at the wall.
On the other side of town Joel and Tommy went to a bar and caught up,
Joel asked why he didn't pick up the radio, Tommy said he was forbidden too, Joel hated that, because of Tommy they had been through so much shit trying to find him,
and there he was fine.
And an expecting child at that.
Tommy mentioned Sarah making Joel storm off away from him,
as Joel walked outside,
he saw someone who vaguely reminded him of Sarah.
His heart almost stopped.
The air thinned as he held his chest.
He would never forgive himself for losing Sarah and how he failed her.
He missed her more than anything.
Later that night while Ellie was at the movies and Violet was moping nursing another drink, feeling her senses fade away, Tommy sought out Joel to apologise and that's when he told Tommy.
"She's immune."
Tommy stared at Joel in disbelief, there was no way, right? Tommy questioned Joel as Joel continued,
"Ellie. She got infected, but she didn't get sick. Tommy. Tommy, I saw her get bit myself. That was months ago. Months. She's immune."
Tommy nodded knowing that Joel would never say anything like this, unless he was one hundred percent certain, he wasn't the type to believe in cures, hope or anything like that.
Tommy spoke quickly,
"From the beginning."
Joel sighed as he fiddled with his hands, Violet had picked Ellie up from the movies, they walked down town as Joel detailed their story,
"It was Marlene. She hired us to smuggle her to some Fireflies. That's where I met Violet and her sister Lily, Violet owed Marlene, and then it all went bad, Tess got bit. She made me swear to take the kid. It was her dyin' wish. What the hell was I supposed to do?"
Joel felt his voice crack as he thought about all of the bad things that had happened on the trip the people he had lost, more importantly the people Violet and Ellie had lost.
Lily.
Sam.
Henry.
Tess.
Bill and Frank.
The list goes on, Joel continued,
"We made it as far as K.C., and then... You know, she and Lily saved Violet's and my life there... from another kid.
Five years ago, I would've destroyed him. But she had to shoot him to save me. 14 years old. Because I was too slow and too fսck¡n' deaf to hear him comin'. And I saw... I saw a man kill his own brother... to save her, I saw Violet kill her own sister, and it almost destroyed her while I just watched, Violet kept looking to me for answers but I had none.
And today, I thought that dog was gonna tear Ellie apart because it smelled somethin' on her.
And all I did was stand there. I couldn't... move. I couldn't think of anything to say.
I just... I was so afraid. You think I can still handle things, but... I'm not who I was. I'm weak.
Lately, there are these moments where the fear comes up outta nowhere, and... my heart... feels like it's stopped. And I have dreams. Every night."
Tommy watched in sorrow, watching his brother struggle against tears was something he hadn't seen in decades,
Tommy questioned,
"What kinda dreams?"
Joel felt his chest heave up and down as he spoke through tears, his eyes becoming blurry but he still tried to hold them back, Joel spoke,
"I don't know. I can't remember. I just know that when I wake up... I've lost somethin'. I'm failin' in my sleep.
That's all I do. It's all I've ever done is fail them again and again.
And I dream about Violet, I dream about it being her instead of Lily, I can't stop thinking about her, she consumes me, and I know i'm not good enough for her, she's been through enough."
Tommy felt his heart rip as he watched his older brother fall apart in front of him.
"You want me to take her.
Why can't Violet?"
Joel spoke again feeling his heart break, thinking about how Violet would react.
"Violet has no idea where she is going, she never even really left Boston, when she could.
I'm just gonna get them killed. I know it. I have to leave them."
What Joel didn't know was that Ellie and Violet were listening to them, hearing Joel adamantly asking to leave, and for Tommy to take them like they were some fucking burdens, she knew this was the fear talking but it hurt, her heart hurt. Violet felt her heart sink as she wrapped her arm around Ellie, pulling her close walking back to their house.
Tommy agreed to take them, and said they'd leave at dawn.
Joel sat there with tears slowly falling down his cheeks as he thought what he would say to Violet, to Ellie.
There wasn't really anything he could say, that would make them forgive him for this.
But he was doing it for them.
He couldn't lose anyone else.
END OF CHAPTER
Pedro Pascal is a once in a lifetime actor, like he is insane, his performance as Joel, is incredible and I love him so much. It's insane how much a celebrity freaking comforts me lol
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