BEFORE READING:
Firstly, please keep in mind this was meant to be an (last year's) April Fool's Day special. So this is VERY VERY silly.
Secondly, I'll let you know I wrote this whole fic when I was 16, that's why it's so cringe. I tried recreating my writing style, and I think I managed to do it.
Thanks!
[...]
THE SUN HITS me in the eye as never before today. I recklessly forgot to bring sunglasses to the imaginary beach that lives inside my mind. Realizing I also forgot the sunscreen, I sit on the towel a few feet before the sea to complain about my life like I've been doing for some days now. I imagine that if I were to be real—meaning, a body —I would be wet by now. But it's weird to tell what's imagination or reality when you are a storyteller-specter like myself.
I begin to wonder how much longer this paradise is going to keep me as its prisoner. Though I am not entirely complaining of my own creation to spend the rest of my eternal days, I have to admit I miss the life I once had. All the silly drama that was caused over nothing, and the people keeping me company.
I miss when I was alone being an omniscient being, but I didn't feel lonely at all.
Every day is the same: I come down to the beach, I forget to bring the necessary things and clothing, night comes, I leave, and then day again. I am lost in the meaning of life itself. It's like a limbo between heaven and hell. Black and white. Life and death. Crazy and sane.
For that matter, I'm insane currently.
Not only have I lost my spark of cheerfulness and become more serious, but also I have no imagination left.
Besides, no one is here to talk to me. Even if I used to talk to myself ever since I have a memory as a little infant narrator, I think I'm tired of myself. I have no new thoughts, no ideas. I can assure everyone that I'm no longer fun.
I have officially become a boring person. It's so dreadful!
I am even imagining my inner voice speaking with a British accent right now! I reckon it can't be stopped! How perfectly inadequate for a situation such as this one. Bloody hell!
I am growing insane by the day, you know...? Yeah, you!
Did you really think I didn't see you there? Scrolling through this new page of our story?
Well... your story. It's been long since it was mine—that sounded pretty depressing—. But anyway, I know you're here again.
I may be insane but I am not blind. My two eyes, even being hit by the annoying sunlight, can see you clearly from here. The question however is... why are you here?
I thought it would have been obvious by now, Stupid Narrator.
Oh, shut up Kusuo! You're always nagging me... WAIT! SAIKI! HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?
Good grief, it's the anniversary special. You should know it more than anyone.
Anniversary... Yes! It's been a year since [Y/N] and you have been together! How exciting!!!
...
Saiki? 'You still there?
Yes.
Great. Now tell me the plans you have with [Y/N]! Maybe if you're not using your ring anymore, you can give it to her!
I use it all the time now, but wait—
But first tell me how she is. I hope she's getting good grades!
Narrator...
—How's her grandma? Still crazy?
Narrator, shut up.
Why? It's okay if you don't have anything planned up. She will forgive you for that.
You're wrong in everything.
I'm sure I don't know what you mean. You forget yourself.
[Y/N] and I... have broken up.
W-WHAT?!
And that, my friends, is how I fainted for the first time.
[...]
PART ONE: A STUDY IN PINK HAIR.
OH, JAPAN. BEAUTIFUL, beautiful, Japan. How I missed you and your awful weather! I can't believe I'm saying this, but how horrendous the Sun is when it almost blinds you every day of your miserable life.
You're being more dramatic than ever.
Oh, shut up, you homewrecker! I have the right to be upset. I've been trapped in a never-ending nightmare of a beach for a year. I had the most dreadful, loneliest time. And THEN, you come and tell me my farewell was for NOTHING? Which, by the way, you didn't tell me why you and my lovely child are not a thing anymore.
This is not the time.
See? I'm sure you're the one to blame for all of this. I guess the only thing I have left to do is complain about it while you walk to school.
The streets look like I've never left. The houses are quiet in the morning, the birds sing above their roofs. The students wear the same uniform, the gates of the school are still open, and Kaidou is still running towards Saiki screaming at him, followed by a much slower Kuboyasu Aren walking behind him. Their feet stomp on the pavement. Kaidou's are more sloppy and loud, while Aren's are calm and cool—or try to be, at least.
The boys wear their untidy uniforms like last year. Kaidou's red tape hasn't come out yet, and Aren's glasses lay undefeated up on his nose. I don't know if they know something called "hairbrush", though.
Their smiles look much happier than they usually are while looking at Kusuo; almost fake. They try to be supporting friends, I bet. However, Kaidou's mouth twitches the second he speaks.
"Hey, Saiki!" I missed you so much, my little Shun. "You look better today. You were kind of down yesterday... and the day before that... and the week before that, as well."
"Shut up, Kaidou!" Aren smacked him on the shoulder. "Hey, Saiki."
However Kaidou's words seemed to be worried about Saiki's—previous to my arrival—facial expressions, Kusuo looks as numb as always. His eyes do not reflect anything, not even a glimpse of emotion inside them. Not that they ever did, whatsoever. Only a true friend like Shun would decipher the sadness within him. Well, [Y/N] would, too. If she weren't completely angry with him at the moment.
"Hey, pal!" greeted Nendou, appearing out of nowhere. I guess I missed you, too, watermelon-lover. "I saw Chibi here crying earlier because of you. He is sad because you are sad. Maybe I am sad, too, because you are sad. The best of buddies can be sad for one another. Let's be sad together eating ramen after school!"
I have never in my life heard the word "sad" this many times before. Have you?
"I-I did not cry at all," said Kaidou to defend himself. "I don't know what he is talking about, Saiki! Don't listen to him."
Even if you are a homewrecker, Kusuo, I am glad you have good friends.
"Oh, no," suddenly Kaidou's face started to panic. His eyes were wide open, and his head started shaking. "Saiki, please don't look back! There's nothing interesting to see. Jet Black Wing's honor."
But, of course, Saiki anyway turned around to see who was beside him, and— OH MY GOD IT'S [Y/N]!!! How much I missed my dear child... yet, she can't listen to me at all. What a disappointment.
She walks accompanied by a girl with lime-color hair who I've never seen before.
[Y/N] wears her uniform beautifully, with the ugly green skirt fitting her body in a perfect way. She still is the most pretty girl in the school to me. She talks and forces a laugh out of her mouth, she knows she's being watched—but not by me, obviously. Her eyes cannot see further than her reality—. Her hands have spots of blue ink, she must have stayed late at night doing her homework. I hope it's not math again.
[Y/N] has bags under her eyes, and her hair is messy in a way that it hasn't been before. Not the cute-messy way she used to wear it when I was around. If she blamed it all on the math homework, I wouldn't believe her. No one would.
For some reason, she looks like the boring girl I knew instead of the confident girl with many friends that I left not too long ago. Tragic.
Her eyes try not to wander around the group of four friends, but fail at doing so. Saiki quickly turns his head again.
You needn't be a telepath to realize she is heartbroken.
"Oh, crap. She's looking this way; act cool."
Judgment Knights of... Judgment Knights of Thunder!
Kaidou started making the Jet Black Wings pose. Totally natural coming from him, to be honest.
Aren began whistling while looking at the sky. Classic.
And Nendou... well, he just put his hands over his face.
"[L/N] will never see me this way!"
Has he become dumber over time? Or is it because the writer hasn't watched the show in a long time and has forgotten how to write him?
Enough breaking the fourth wall, it's confusing for everyone— including you.
Sorry, you're right.
[Y/N] looks away again once her friend with green-ish hair grabs her arm, and drags her toward the insides of the school.
Little flower child, I really like this new friend of yours. She looks so cool! What a fashion sense! [Y/N] surely needs advice with her clothing.
Who is she, by the way?
Her newest best friend: Mikoto Aiura.
That's so great! What about— I don't even want to say their names..., but what about Teruhashi and Toritsuka?
Good grief. They will appear eventually, as always.
—Shouldn't you know? You're the narrator, after all.
Not anymore, Saiki; I changed career paths.
Now I am the detective in charge of your case. You can call me Narrator Holmes: master of disguise. I kick names, and take ass...!
There's no case here.
I'm good at problem solving, and you have a BIG one. Besides, I don't think you came all the way to my imaginary beach just for a chat. You need help and you don't know how to ask for it.
I don't think it can be solved, though.
It won't if you don't tell me what has happened. It's awkward to see the thing we worked so hard for all those months fall apart, when I know I left both of you being a happy couple, all lovey-dovey. I remember it all too well.
Maybe you got lost in translation?
She asked for too much.
Your relationship was a masterpiece and you decided to tore it all up?
Good grief. I have class, see you later.
I think it's cool that you want to escape and all, but I am literally inside your mind, so it's going to be difficult to get rid of me. That's what comes with being omnipresent.
The bell rings and Saiki begins running scared—like the coward he is—toward his classroom followed by his friends (needles to say he didn't actually run, it's just a way of completing the song). They try reassuring him that everything would be just fine now that his best buddies are here to help him navigate the waters of 'Bachelor Ocean'.
Well, while Saiki and friends go do student stuff, I might go and check how my favorite girl is doing right now.
P.K Academy is still the same as always, how unimportant. The hallways look as boring as ever, like time never passed here. My previous miserable beach life reminds me of this school trapped in time. In fact, no one here looks grown. Everyone stays the same during high school, maybe? Though that might be absurd to think, I reckon.
[Y/N] and Aiura walk chatting between them, their arms tangled together. They sure look like very good friends—which of course I'm happy with, though a little jealous, too. I used to be her only good friend before, after all. Time flies fast here on Earth. What a tragedy!
"Anyway, you should definitely let me do another ball reading soon, [L/N]!" said Aiura, placing a hand on her bag. "You need guidance in these times of desperation and heartbreak."
"I don't know, Aiura. I'm just pretty tired of the supernatural world," Oh! Her voice is like an angel's. "... No offense."
"Non-taken, love! I completely understand, but I do have plenty of clients waiting for me in my classroom, so I better go!"
Aiura leaves [Y/N], unlinking their arms. Our girl lets out a chuckle, and enters the classroom. The teacher is not here yet which is great. It looks like she's been arriving pretty late to class lately. No good at all if you ask me!
The classroom is just as I remembered. The windows opposite to the door, where the main characters sit, were already occupied by irrelevant students. The blackboard in front of the class had some math problems written over it, proving my earlier point. Voices filled the classroom, but our girl stayed silent.
[Y/N] sat at her usual desk near the door, and took out her homework with her stained hands. I noticed that her white shirt also had some blue ink, too. What a mess!
I can't believe this is the same classroom where roses flew in the air, and water balloons exploded, almost flooding the school. So many memories walk down these places. Not all of them are great ones, but at least they are fun to remember.
Toritsuka entered the classroom waving his hand at [Y/N]. His purple hair stayed the same as one year ago, but the white headband seemed bigger, for some reason. I bet it grew with his stupidity..., yet I'm kind of glad those two remain good friends (just a little).
"Hey, [Y/N]! Ready to go out with me, yet?"
Sigh, I guess I spoke too soon.
"What are you talking about, Reita?" her voice sounded bored, and she raised an eyebrow. Same old, same old. "I'm getting tired of this joke already. It's been a year."
"Oh, yeah... joke!" Reita sat at the desk beside her. "I'm just trying to cheer you up. You don't break up with your boyfriend every day, you know?"
[Y/N] banged her head on the table in front of her the moment Toritsuka stopped talking. She then sighed and, still with her head on the table, flipped her head at Toritsuka.
"Not really, I'll give you that," her eyes watered for a second. "But it's not every day that your boyfriend erases your memory with his supernatural powers, either."
HE DID WHAT?!
Every student in the class, including the teacher who has just arrived, turned to [Y/N] and Toritsuka. They paid close attention, trying to decipher if it was them who had yelled. Still, of course, none of them were the culprits.
"Did you hear it, too?" asked the boy. "It might be one of my fellow spirits, though I can't seem to find it."
"Yeah... I even thought I recognized that voice. How scary!"
Crap, they heard me. Remember, Narrator, you can't mess with the story—even if you have done it plenty of times the last time you were here!
And Saiki... that bastard! I can't believe he erased my sweet [Y/N]'s memory. How could he? It's absolutely unacceptable. Disgusting. Frivolous. He said he would change his ways of living and he didn't!
Not on my watch, young boy: I will change the course of this story.
Again.
Even if just two seconds ago I said that I couldn't or wouldn't.
I'm getting the band back together!
[...]
PART TWO: A SCANDAL IN P.K ACADEMY.
I DON'T KNOW how to deal with the information [Y/N] unknowingly gave me. Although I believe —or want to believe— that Saiki-boy has a perfect and completely adequate explanation for his dumb decision, I am unsure of how to fix it. Or even how it happened in the first place.
Saiki is a clever person, we all know that. Yet, I wonder about the other consequences of the possibilities. Because I'm sure they were life or death consequences. If this was the best outcome, I can't imagine what the others might have been. It must have been a matter of life or death situation.
Unless Saiki is an idiot and he didn't know how to handle a silly little thing and resorted to choosing the easy way out.
Erasing the mind of your girlfriend is probably not the easiest decision ever, but for Saiki, it is easily done.
That's why, before Kusuo tells me more lies or before he hides the truth even further, I have decided to intervene. I'm talking to [Y/N] again... even if the Gods come to find me and make me go puff after this. Or the TVA in any case. Whoever it might be, it will be worth it regardless.
Okay, here goes or nothing. Happily ever after depends on me!
[Y/N]...? I hope you can hear me.
The girl stopped paying attention to the math class in front of her and stared at the ceiling. Of course, I was not there for her to see me.
"Narrator?" she whispered, getting the attention of some of her classmates who looked at her weirdly. "Sorry."
Yes. It's me, summer child! I wouldn't recommend using your voice to talk, though. People will find you crazy, and we don't want that at all.
Narrator, I can't believe it! I must be dreaming. This feels like a nightmare turned dream! What are you doing here? I thought you went on a vacation.
Or with gangsters to Shibuya, for some reason.
Yeah, yeah. I was at the beach by myself. It was like my own hell. I felt lonely and missed you a lot, so I came back!
Also, you don't have to deliver the news to me. I already know that tragedy has struck you again. But at least you're not an average, boring girl, I hope.
Ah, I wouldn't know how to answer that question, honestly. Saiki and I have broken up, I'm glad I don't have to go over that explanation again. I've already told half the school about the news! 'Couldn't help but do so; I wanted Saiki to suffer like I was suffering, too.
Though I'm not entirely sure that psychic has got feelings inside his cold heart.
Oh, that homewrecker! I hate him more than ever now. Just when everything was perfect!
The bell rang and the class was dismissed. Everyone inside walked to the exit, even Toritsuka —who was chasing a cute ghost— and [Y/N] was left on her own. She slowly stood up from the desk and went outside as well. Some people greeted her in the hallways. It seems she has made more friends over the last couple of months.
Hairo stopped her for a second to ask her to a race which she quickly declined. He claimed that 'friendship is more important than fighting for a race,' so he understood her negative response, and continued running around looking for a rival.
I'm glad to see Hairo is the same guy as last year.
Yeah. I guess some things never change.
Remember some others do change! For better or for worse.
You sound like my grandma.
Oh, my! Don't ever compare me with that demon spawn ever again...! No offense.
I will take it as an offense, but I forgive you anyway because it's been too long since we've been together.
Although the hallways were the same, there was still somewhat of a change in the air at P.K Academy; and watching [Y/N] walking down each one of them, all alone, reminds of the time she was by herself. Yet, I know she is lonely no more—even if it hits the jealousy nerve right there. The friends she has made over the last year make me proud of the person she has become. I remember vividly the day we met when she crashed into a tree, and Teruhashi ran to help her. I wish we could turn back in time and live it all over again, like flipping the pages of a book once you finished it, and re-read everything... Well that's probably not the best example in this scenario.
Or maybe it's the perfect one.
[Y/N] jumped when a hand rested on her shoulder. It was Aiura again, asking her to eat lunch together. Of course, she accepted and they walked together towards the roof of the school. The worst place ever if you want to forget Saiki: AKA the best place for me to start my malevolent plan.
GETTING KUSUO AND [Y/N] TOGETHER (2.0)
A few hours later, school finished, everyone went home. I watched [Y/N] walk with Aiura towards the latter's house but decided not to follow her. The birds sang like this is a movie as the two friends turn around a corner, disappearing from my sight. I know my plan will be difficult, but I will try my best.
Even if I thought I had managed to complete my assignment the last time I was in the world of the living, I know now that I have failed—kinda. But this time, no one is going to stop me. Not even the people involved in this ex-relationship.
How did a psychic, pink-haired, son of a gracious woman, become the boyfriend of the most beautiful girl in the world... and completely ruined it after?! It blows my mind.
Yet again, this isn't going to stop me either. I'm young, scrappy, and hungry for romance. And I am not throwing away my shot!
So it seems that you never get tired of stupid references.
Oh, the man of the hour himself. I was just thinking about you. I have a rather interesting question to ask you. Are you going home yet? Maybe we could talk there. I want to see your mum!
Good grief.
Saiki walks ignoring my small talk to his house. Fortunately, none of his friends followed him this time around. It will be easier to chat with him since we are alone—not that being with the entire gang stopped me before—. About fifteen minutes later, he opens the door and enters his home. His mother greets him at the entrance, but sadly leaves to do some shopping.
Oh man, I really wanted to see your mom more! She is as beautiful as the day I lost her.
Shut up. She's happily married.
Not for long if I ever come to your world!
I would rather talk about [L/N] than this, to be honest.
Okay then, let's start with my questioning!
Go ahead...
I want to know what really happened with her, Kusuo. Because from what I've heard, it does not look good for you.
I imagine that if Saiki were a normal person, he would definitely have an astonished look on his face. Or rather a little surprised one, at best. I reckon he would bite his nails with nervous thoughts eating him inside his mind: because he knows what I am going to ask next. He's been waiting for it. He knows there's no way out. Kusuo has asked me to come here for a reason—even though he didn't really ask for it, but I'm still here anyway—, and that reason is the erasure of [Y/N]'s mind. Maybe he has realized the huge mistake he made... or maybe he just needs a friend to confide in.
Nah...! That can't be the reason at all.
I deleted her memories a while ago, but I'm sure you already knew that. It would surprise me if you hadn't got in the way already.
As a matter of fact, yes, I have. I've talked to your ex-tasteless girl and she told me the horrendous act you've committed.
What's wrong with you, Kusuo? How could you do that?
It's difficult to explain.
You may start with the beginning, it will make it easier.
The world is ending because of a volcano and [L/N] found out about it. So, I had to protect her and make her forget that we're living the same year over and over again.
...
Don't stay quiet, that's not like you. Say something, good grief.
I have nothing to say. It is a lot to take in and you said it so quickly. There was no fight between the two of us, as I expected to happen.
Saiki sits in his bed after we get to his room upstairs. He couldn't even arrive somewhere he would be comfortable to speak freely about his reckless behavior. I can tell he is definitely conflicted about the situation, which is something new to him.
What do you think?
I can't believe you're asking for my opinion on this, but I guess I also can't believe you erased my flower girl's memories. It's such a gray area, Kusuo. Are you sure that was the only possible way?
Yes, she can't live with that knowledge like I do.
You can't either, Saiki. It's not healthy to live with that burden.
I don't care, it's just a pain to do so.
I really don't know what to tell you.
Then say nothing. It will be a perfect test to practice staying silent.
However, I have just one more question.
Good grief, just say it.
What do you want to do now?
Silence overtook Saiki's bedroom, though of course, it is always silent since his voice is only heard by me.
I looked to the side to see what's making the only noise in the room and saw a blue and yellow fish swimming happily around a small tank. I couldn't believe my eyes at first, that wasn't here the last time I came.
You got a fish now?! What's its name?!
Saiki looked over to the fish tank and quickly answered:
Dory.
That name... Wait, what?!
[Y/N]'s fish is named Nemo, from the movie with the same name. And you got one and called it Dory?! Oh my, Saiki you must really love [Y/N] to get this freakin fish. Even though Dory was more like a fun aunt than Nemo's girlfriend—that would be weird—but no mind that... You love her!
Yeah, maybe I do.
He pushed his green glasses back and sighed. I really haven't seen him this way never before. He looked so vulnerable. What a sight for sore eyes!
Suddenly, recalling the words he just spoke to me, a light bulb seems to turn on above my head like on a cartoon show.
Saiki... I just got the perfect idea to get you two back together. It's going to be awesome!
Yeah, yeah. Do whatever you want, it won't work.
Just you wait, just you wait.
Good grief, enough with the Hamilton references!
[...]
PART THREE: "THE FINAL PROBLEM"
I WAS SO nervous I had to use the imaginary bathroom thrice before leaving Saiki's house this morning. My plan was finally starting and coming to an end at the same time, just a few hours from now. At lunchtime, everything will go back to normal again.
The pink-haired boy was already in class, and my ex-boring girl was too. I had to work my magic with one extraordinary fortune teller lady from Class 3, and the plan would be set in motion.
Aiura Mikoto arrived in P.K Academy looking for her love: a psychic boy who turned out to be none other than Saiki Kusuo. At the same time, she befriended [L/N] [Y/N], and became best friends with her. She respected her relationship with Saiki because she knew someday, he would be with Aiura instead. But for now, she let them be happy together...! Until they broke up a few weeks ago, of course.
However, Mikoto didn't count on me taking part in this story. She never realized I was the villain in her and Saiki's love story all along. A narrator turned background character, and now, the one to ruin it all for her.
I'm sorry, lady, I think you're really cool, but my girl comes first.
I saw Aiura in class, not paying attention to the teacher at all. The perfect moment to put my plan in motion arrived.
I just need her attention for a few seconds and she will do everything I want her to do.
"Aiura Mikoto, this is your spirit guide!" I whispered into her ear.
"My spirit guide?!" she almost yelled. Everyone's eyes were on her, but then they just looked away. They must be used to her weird behavior. "How do I know you are my spirit guide and not just some creepy spirit who wants to manipulate me?"
... She's good.
"Hm, you just have to trust in me."
"What's your name, then?"
Think, Narrator, think! What do teen girls like these days?!
"My name is... unimportant. What is important, though, is that I will help you have Saiki Kusuo in the long long long future!"
Or in another life.
"Is that really possible?!"
"With my guidance, everything is!"
Aiura seemed to doubt for some minutes, and even consulted her crystal ball to seek for answers. Though her magic object gave her some mixed reviews of her decision, she accepted my fake identity as her spirit guide. Though I thought it would be easier than just a few lies here and there, an acting diploma was never needed. However, this could become more difficult eventually. And I hate myself for thinking that as it might manifest bad things.
Aiura's confidence broke for a second when I told her what her first—and only—mission was. The moment the bell rang indicating the lunch break, she ran with her crystal ball in her hands to her friend's classroom. She knew [Y/N]'s still there as she always takes a bit longer to get out of the room than everybody else.
Mikoto entered her classroom, sweating even if she just ran for like ten seconds or less, and with a hand on her chest, started yelling: "[L/N], come quick!"
A few students were left in the classroom still, and got startled by her sudden entrance. [Y/N] flips her head to the door to her friend, panting non-stop.
"Aiura, what's happening?"
"You have to run to the roof now!" She got closer to her friend and grabbed her by the shoulder to shake her. "Your fortune is about to change, I can tell! But first, you need to go there ASAP."
If my ex boyfriend hadn't been a psychic, and if I had never talked to a narrator specter, I would never have believed Aiura. However, my crazy, but interesting, life has proved me otherwise. So, I need to pay attention to this stupid idea about my fortune.
At least this time.
"Okay, but if I go there and I get pigeon poop on my uniform, you're paying for the tailoring, all right?"
"Sure, sure! Just go already."
"Fine."
[Y/N] sighed and left the classroom. She knew she was going to miss her lunch break by following Aiura's premonition, either way she began walking towards the stairs to finally go to the roof. Her stomach growled with anticipation as the nervous chills made her face fall. She had a bad feeling, but I wouldn't blame her at all. Mikoto could be her friend but that didn't mean she wasn't a bit crazy.
The stairs felt never-ending and when [Y/N] got to the door, she regretted instantly.
The door opened without her touch, like magic. The light blinded her for a second while her feet moved the last few steps towards the roof.
Too much light. This can't be good.
It's difficult to explain what happened next.
[Y/N] saw Saiki Kusuo just standing motionless in the middle of the roof. The flashback of her own love confession came to her mind while staring at him. He looked exactly like the day she ran away after getting no response out of his mouth. Though that wasn't the only thing these two days have in common... [Y/N] was heartbroken in both of them.
"What do you want, Saiki?" she asked, nonetheless his repetitive attitude. "Came here to break my heart again like the old times? You sure miss them."
Harsh. But understandable.
"No, not at all."
Exasperated, [Y/N] took a step closer to him. Just one, to let him know that she needed an explanation.
"I know you're not a boy of many words, but you need to do better than that or I'm leaving."
Saiki blinked, which was... something . I'm dying inside wishing he remembered what we rehearsed earlier today. If he can't accomplish this, then Saiki and [Y/N] might never come back together.
"I'm sorry."
"For what?!" [Y/N] began raising her voice... before dropping the big bomb we all were waiting for. The reason. "For erasing my mind after I told you I loved you? I don't think you can ever come back from that Saiki Kusuo!"
What...? I can't keep defending you after this, god. You're on your own, kid.
"You don't understand. It was for your safety."
"You keep saying that but that is no explanation! Because, well, you erased my mind! " [Y/N]'s angry tears fell through her cheeks. "I don't remember anything after that. I know you don't comprehend deep emotions (or maybe you do them too much so that's why you are like this), but this is not how you handle a situation like this. I wouldn't get hurt that much if you didn't answer me back. I would have understood you needed more time!"
"I love you, [Y/N]."
The confession left the girl speechless for a few seconds. Her mask had faltered, while her eyes softened. But that didn't last long. Her eyebrows furrowed quickly and she spoke again.
"That changes nothing. Goodbye, Saiki."
[Y/N] left running and crying. Saiki still stood there motionless. With no words out of his mouth left.
I can't believe this, Saiki Kusuo! I'm leaving, too.
You are a selfish bastard who deserves no friends and probably needs a therapist. Don't ever come back looking for me because I AM the narrator so I can kill you if I want to. You're uninvited to my beach party this Saturday.
However, before I can begin my journey back to the imaginary beach, I hear a laugh coming from behind.
"That was a bit harsh, Narrator!"
[Y/N]... what are you doing here?! You just had your dramatic exit.
"Stupid, stupid, Narrator. Do you know what day it is today?"
Isn't it Thursday or something? I don't know, I'm just so confused. Aren't you guys broken up? Shouldn't you two be fighting?
"I told you they weren't going to realize it, Kusuo," [Y/N]'s tears have disappeared from her eyes and cheeks. She is now... smiling. "I bet Narrator was too focused on complaining about their retirement, and getting us back together to look at a calendar."
I'm sorry for being too good of a friend to look at it... Could just please tell me what's going on?
"Today it's April 1st. April Fool's Day..." Saiki said, and I want to kill him more than before. "Before you say anything, it was all [Y/N]'s idea. She figured out you were having trouble there at the beach, so she made this whole thing up. She even convinced everyone to participate."
"It was such a great idea, wasn't it? So infallible!"
"I wouldn't say that myself. It was torturous."
[Y/N] narrowed her eyes at Saiki.
"Anyway, you party popper. Happy April Fool's Day, Narrator! I hope you're not too angry..."
Well, I'm not really. It's good to see that you're a natural actress, that might come in handy in the future, for sure. Even you, Saiki. I truly believe the sadness in your dark, dark, soul. I even saw in your eyes how miserable you were! Impressive.
I guess I have to thank you. I was very bored at my retirement, after all.
"Oh, that's a shame. Is there anything we can do to help you?"
I could never ask you for anything other than to stay perfect and healthy!
"Are you sure? We won't ask twice."
Woah, Saiki, you're such a good person. But wait... Maybe there's something you can do for me.
[...]
"And now I declare you, husband and wife!"
You may kiss the... bride?
"I don't think they can do that, they're fish ."
Oh, don't mind! What a lovely wedding this has been between Dory and Nemo. I just hope Dory here isn't the fun aunt like in the movie. Great ceremony!
It was a nice way of saying goodbye forever, too.
I don't think we're ever going to see each other again, Saiki, my flowerchild.
"You said that last time... I think."
But this one is permanent. I promise not to come back.
"We'll see what happens in a year."
Maybe another wedding?
"What?!"
"No."
I meant between Saiki's mom and me! I know we're meant to be together.
"Keep dreaming."
I guess dreaming is free! Well, if you need me, I'll be where I was last. But don't call me again, not even for a prank! I've realized I do need a break. I've been doing this for hundreds of years.
"Hundreds?!"
Yep. And now I'm done.
Happily ever after, here I come.
At least until next year!
"I knew it."
"Yay!"