Needless to say this was one of the most awkward car rides I've had. There was so much i wanted to say but i just honestly didn't know how to say it or where even to start. I sigh and look out the window, playing with my hands. He thankfully has music playing softly in the background, so it wasn't to quiet. It so stupid because I've had so much i wanted tell him at the bonfire but now I'm just to nervous to even get anything out. I look over at him in the corner of my eye and bite my lip. Come on, just say it.
"So i um." I start and clear my throat. I see him look at me slightly. Scared i turn my head straight to look out the front window. "I just want to say that I'm sorry with how i acted earlier. It was stupid of me to just ignore you." I say while looking over at him. He breathes out softly and nods. Just nods. I shake my head and turn away. Am i this hard to talk to when I'm mad? Figuring that i didn't know when i would get another chance to talk to him, i decide to continue anyways.
"I think, actually i know that i was to much in my head. Bella and i were having a conversation yesterday and i." I stop myself and look down. Is it even worth telling him my fears, my insecurities. "I guess i got scared about to many things." I say quietly. Him still being a brick wall doesn't encourage me to talk anymore so i just turn my head and look around. Maybe he still needs time to cool off. Maybe i just imagined him holding my hand and smiling at me. Gosh here i go again. I shake my head and lean my chin on my hand.
"What things?" I hear him say softly, like he didn't even want me to hear it. But i did. Part of me actually wanted to pretend like i didn't hear him so i wouldn't have to explain but i didn't want to leave like this.
"About us." I say back just as softly. I hear him take a deep breath in as the car jerks to a stop. I place my hands on the dash to hold myself up. I look over at him only to see him looking at me with wide eyes. "Are you okay?" I shout in shock and look around. Did something run out in front of us? Or was it because of what i said?
"What about us?" He asks me sounding worried. I look at him and bite my lip. Not knowing weather or not to tell him, ask him? About the imprinting thing, i just sigh. "What about us Bec?" He asks again, softly. Not able to hold off any longer i just blurt it out.
"Bella asked me about you the other day and why i didn't tell her about you and me and about how you imprinted on me and why i was keeping her out of the loop and me being confused i sat there confused, to which she told me all about this imprinting and what it was and i don't know i was excited at first and then i sat there just thinking about how it alters your feeling and how you may only like me because of it and how i stupid i felt for all my stupid human feelings i had for you and like i get it you feel bad but i don't want you just hanging out with me because of it, like how do you think that makes me feel and-"
"Becca!" Paul shouts snapping me out of my thoughts and making me shut my mouth. I sit there wide eyed at him and try to catch my breath. I really just did that? I really just spilled everything out. I am so stupid. I close my eyes tightly and shake my head.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I don't know why i just said all that." I turn and face forward and look straight.
"How did you..How did Bella find out? About the imprinting thing?" I never seen Paul with this many emotions.
"Um she said she figured it out after seeing us hang out. Jake apparently told her about imprinting a while ago. She put it together , i guess." I tell him while playing with my hands
"Figures." He says while shaking his head angrily. " Look i was planning on telling you soon and then i kept getting nervous and talked myself out of it, so I'm sorry about that. I wish you would have just talked to me after she told you instead of just ignoring me but i understand now" He says causing me to look over at him.
"It doesn't alter your feelings. In fact it doesn't even create them, it just opens up a window i guess you could say. I knew you were beautiful from the moment i saw you and i definitely didn't need to be imprinted with you to tell that. I got lucky that it choose you, honestly, because it meant that even if i didn't have feelings for you, or you for me, that i could still be apart of your life." I look him with tears in my eyes. "Your feelings are valid, and they could never be stupid. I like hanging out with you, because i like you, not because of this attachment between us. I would still be with you if it wasn't there. I promise you that." He finishes and reaches out to grab my hands.
"You like me?" I ask him softly while looking down. I feel his hand under my chin, lifting it up forcing me to look at him. I feel my cheeks turning red as i look into his eyes.
"More then you will ever know." He whispers to me leaning closer to me. I lift my head up and nudge my nose softly against his.
"I don't know Lahote, i may have you beat." I say causing him to laugh slightly. I lift my hands up to his face, to finally feel him, feel his skin, warm against mine. I close my eyes and take the plunge, scooting myself closer to him. I feel his hand reach out and grab my waist, pulling me as close as we can get. I giggle and look up at him through my eyelashes. and finally our lips meet. And it is everything i wanted and more. I trail my hand down from his face and place it around his neck and play with his hair softly. I feel his grip tighten on me and smile against his lips. How thankful i am that Emily made me come tonight.
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We finally pull into my driveway. When i say it took everything in me to pull away from him tonight, to not just stay in his arms forever, but not ever wanting to get on my dads bad side, i reluctantly made us quit and suffered for it all the way home. I kept a grip on his hand though and i happily sat in the middle seat the whole way home.
He helps me out of the car and walks me over to the front door. I smile and lean my back against the side wall and look up at him. He walks forward and places his right hand against the wall beside me and grips my waist with his left. I giggle and wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me. So yes we were standing out here kissing for a while but do you blame me, the man is hot.
I hear the door unlock next to us and quickly push him back and straighten myself as the door opens. Dads head pops out and he smiles at us.
"Hey sweetie. Paul." Dad says nodding to us. I smile and look down.
"Chief Swan." Paul says waving. I stop myself from laughing and look anywhere but at Paul or my dad.
"Did you have a good night?" Dad asks looking from me to Paul.
"Yes. It was amazing. Emily's cooking is heavenly." I say excitedly. Dad laughs and agrees before looking at his watch, looks at me and nods. He says goodnight to Paul before walking back in. I giggle and shake my head before turning back to Paul.
"You think he knows we were just out here kissing?" He asks worriedly. I laugh and nod.
"He's a cop and also my father, of course he knows." I say while laughing harder after his face falls. I stop and grab his face pulling him back down to me and kiss him softly. "Thank you for tonight."
He smiles and stands up straight and he places his hand on my cheek. "Get some sleep, okay. Text me in the morning." He says causing me to nod. He leans down and kisses my forehead before turning and walks down the steps. I run over to the top step and call out.
"Text me when you get home." He turns around and smiles before hopping in the car and backing out. I smile before walking in the house and lock the door behind me. I walk toward the sound of the tv and lay back next to dad. He opens his arms and pulls me close.
"Is he treating you right?" Was all he asked. I look up at him and nod softly. He smiles and kisses my head. "He better." I giggle into his chest before leaning up to kiss his cheek.
"Goodnight daddy." I say while heading to the step. "Goodnight pumpkin." He says back leaning further down on the couch and watches tv. I smile before turning and run up the steps. Instead of going to my room, i obviously head to bells. She throws open the door before i even have a chance to knock and pulls me in her room. I stand there in shock until i see Edward on her bed. I glare at him before sitting down on the bed as well.
"I should have known you would be here." I say to him as bells walks over to us. He shrugs before leaning back against the wall, placing his hands behind his head and closes his eyes.
"Sooo how'd it go? What happened? Edward told me paul was downstairs with you." Bella asks all excitedly. Thanks Edward. His lips go up slightly. Asshole.
"It went fine. No. Actually it was amazing." I tell her causing her to jump happily.
"Okay, okay give me all the deets." I laugh happily before taking my shoes off and get more comfortable on the bed leaning my back against Edward, because as much of a hard time i give him, i'm still happy he's here and happy that he's also my friend. So we sit there almost all night and talk and gossip and i tell her, well them, everything on my mind. You could say this honestly was an incredible night.