Jahmir
"Man that bitch stay tripping! If she ain't excusing me of sucking on my homies dick? I'm once again accused of laying up with another bitch!" Quez tells us making us all laugh. I shake my head Quita and Quez were always toxic, but they still managed to hold their relationship together.
"I'm serious Jet. I have to let that bitch go, but I don't think I'll ever find a pussy as sweeter." He lets me know and Shaq snickers.
"Nigga what you call pussymatized," Shaq lets him know teasing him at that fact. "Word?" Quez questions both of us arching a brow. I shrug my shoulders while Shaq hollers.
We were walking through the Eastern side going to our trap house that was located on this side. I was here to collect the money from this months produce, and make sure everyone on this side had a fair share of pay.
Also discuss some business with Donnie. Donnie was east hand man another close friend of mine who made sure to keep an eye on shit on this side.
"Oh speaking of I heard about what happened with you and that newbie? I could say I'm proud you managed to control your anger, but why you snap on boy like that anyway?" Quez says to Shaq referring to the incident with Slim.
"Something about that kid is off and I don't like the vibes he gives off. We are to much of a trusting gang, that sometimes we forget that we are a drug gang. We have enemies, so we have to be cautious, even when it comes to our own. Jet you told us to stay ten downs and that's what I'm doing," Shaq lets both of us know as we approach the house.
Quez hums, and I couldn't argue. I knew it was deeper than what he was saying though. My thoughts flashes to Amir and that made me feel like a hypocrite knowing I told them to stay alert, but here I am thinking of going on a date, no no not a date but hang out with him.
"Jet's here!" One of the guys call out to Donnie as I enter the crib. Donnie's bowlegged Ass comes downstairs.
"Nigga who told you to be so early I haven't even separated the money," he tells me dapping me up.
He does the same to Shaq and Quez, and I blink at him. "I told your ass good to make sure that shit was separated, you never listen," I say to him walking pass him up the stairs.
Seriously this nigga lazy. I think to myself walking into one of the rooms. Stacks of cash stacked neatly on the table. I groan, now I had to spend most of my Friday counting bands and issuing envelopes.
"Get y'all asses up here and help me get this shit together!" I scream at the three of them hearing them still laughing and joking downstairs.
"We be up there in a sec Jet! Let me grab a couple of drinks," I hear Quez say back as the sound of the stairs creaks.
"You really ain't do shit old timer," Shaq tells Donnie looking at the chaos before us. I rub my temples, "Not a damn thing now we have to spend all morning and late afternoon counting and giving shares."
Both Quez and Shaq groans and Donnie clears his throat. "I ain't tell y'all to be hear so early." Donnie tells me walking towards one of the chairs.
"Nah but I told your ass to make sure it's done, so you should've made sure." I tell him cause he thinks this shit is funny. I had to pick up Soul from daycare at four.
I take a sit on the couch grabbing a wad, and the others follow in suit.
..
"This the last envelope Jet," Quez tells me handing the white envelope towards me. I put it on top of the other ten grand envelopes. The other extra money goes into a duffel bag. Of course I take out my half, Quez, and Shaqs.
See how this pay works depends on the sells we make by the month. So it was like a salary to us, but the younger in this gang got paid by the amount of sells they made, and they gotta a little something every month.
How you got paid depended on how well you could handle business to make and build profit? From selling on the corners, to making drops, and finally handling out of state trades.
Some money also went to the foundation to keep this cycle going. Basically my garden, and by garden I mean my cannabis garden.
Yes as said before I grew my own shit, this is another reason August might've chosen me for the position, before I was a leader. I was a Gardner and a seller.
"Finally finished!" Shaq applauds himself patting himself on the back. "Damn shoulders are stiff," Quez complains rubbing his shoulders.
"What time is it?" I question reaching for my phone. I tap it and it lights up. Three-thirty pm, damn it'll thirty minutes to make it to the other side of town depending on the traffic.
"Damn I knew this was going to take up most of the time," I say to myself shaking my head scrolling through my contacts.
I press on Nyasia's contact. It rings and on the third ring she picks up.
"Hello?"
"Nyasia I'm a be running a bit late, so could you do me a favor of keeping Soul there till I pull up?"
"Of course, but just to let you know. Soul had a visitor a woman actually, said she was her mother. Tyasha," Nyasia lets me know and I don't know what came over me but I snap.
"Ever since she left though Soul's been acting strange. I think her mother may have said something that may have caused her distress," Nyasia lets me know.
"You didn't think to call me then and tell me or ask me? Who knows what that woman could've done yet you let her see my daughter!" I scold her through the call.
The laughter from Quez and Shaq ceases, as they stare at me in confusion.
"What's wrong? Something happened to Soul!" Quez asks me standing up on this two feet.
"Calm down Mr. Jackson, I didn't suspect she was in any danger. She seemed to be very excited to see her mother," Nyasia tells me calmly through the phone although her voice shook as though she were panicking.
"Jet what's going on with Soul?" Shaq asks standing beside me to listen in on the conversation.
"That's still no reason for you not to call and see if I approve. In the documents I handed to y'all I specifically stated only three people are allowed to visit my daughter. These three being, Jahmir Jackson that's me, and two friends of mine Daquez Arnistine and Shaquille Johnson. So how come y'all asses can't follow that simple task!"
"They let a stranger visit Soul!" Shaq says to me his expression flicks from concerned and worried to anger. I put up one finger silencing him.
"Nah ain't no silence shit! Who they let see Soul Soul without our permission?" Quez asks me coming in between me and Shaq.
All three of us listens as Nyasia apologizes repeatedly.
"She just seemed so comfortable with Tyasha that I didn't think that she was in any danger." I had her on speaker phone now.
The more she said that shit the more heated I became. My child is only four, luckily for me and her it was her mother to come visit her and not some stranger.
Quez let's go of a frustrated groan as he rubs his hand along his face.
"That bitch is an addict and a danger to my niece health, her mental, and her happiness. You telling her father you let his four year old wonder off to some stranger cause she was comfortable with that person," Quez says this out loud snatching the phone from my grasp.
You offer a child candy they would consider you the nicest person on earth, and we all know what happens after that! I know you smarter than that girl!" Shaq continues on for Quez snatching the phone away from him.
"Wha- Who are you! Give the phone back to Soul's father!"
Nyasia screams at Shaq and I quickly snatch the my phone out of his hands before he got mad disrespectful.
"Nyasia I'll be there in a few don't allow anybody else to see or meet with my daughter," I tell her.
"Wai-"
I end the line cutting her off mid sentence.
"Man I told your ass, you can't trust them daycares," Shaq lets me know while I search for my keys. I eventually find them stuck between the couch cushions.
"Man patronize my ass later. I gotta go," I tell them both exiting the room. Walking downstairs to get to the front door.
"Say man you leaving already?" Donnie asks me and I turn to see him munching on a big ass sandwich. Crumbs rested around his mouth as he bit into it once again while eyeing me.
"Yea I'm out, make sure your lazy ass drops them bags off to the shop later," I tell him hearing him laugh at me as I leave the house.
My phone rings, as I'm getting into my car. I start it up and it connects to my built in Bluetooth. The name on the screen read Jack ass
I press the answer button.
"Speak nigga," I tell him pulling out of Donnie's driveway.
Amir laughs, "Damn good afternoon to you too."
I roll my eyes as if he could see me.
"What you doing?" Amir asks me. I switch lanes to get on the freeway.
"Driving to go pick up Soul," I respond thanking a man in a truck for letting me in. This freeway is packed right then a bitch. Cars honking at each other, and I press on my breaks not all the way though just to ease drive every time we did move.
"Where you at? Sounds noisy," Amir says to me and I hear the sound of rustling in his back ground.
"I just visit some people down in the East side, now I'm trying to get back home, but this damn freeway crazy packed," I let him know stroking my chin while resting one hand on the steering wheel.
"Did you just get up or something?" I asks him referring to his voice that still seem groggily, but it's sexy to hear.
"Yea a nigga kind of a late sleeper. I don't believe in waking up early," Amir tells me and I hear him yawning after that.
I chuckle at that. "Well fool I'm an early bird, so if you dealing with me? You might as well start facing the facts that I'm interrupting your beauty sleep every morning Snow White,"It was corny I know but he says corny things all the time so let me have this moment.
"Nah yo ass would be pulled right back into my arms. I can't sleep without someone at my side." Amir lets me know as I finally make it to an exit where I can get off on.
Mean while my brain is creating images of being in bed with this nigga. Not in that way though just sleeping with him, once again pause.
Wait a minute. "What you mean you can't sleep without anyone at your side?" Did he have someone in his bed every night? A lover? Just a quick fuck.
Why did I feel like he playing me right now?
"I ain't mean it like that," Amir lets me know cutting into my thoughts. For some strange reason that made me relieved.
"I wasn't thinking anything like that, just why you can't sleep without someone by your side?"
I question him stopping at a red light.
"Post traumatic stress disorder." This was all he said and I didn't question it further if he wanted me to know more he'd eventually tell me.
"I can't wait for our date tomorrow, that's one of the reasons I called you to see if you hadn't tried to change your mind?" Amir tells me as I approached the daycare. It was about four-fifteen and I could see Nyasia holding Soul.
Soul looks down at the ground, eating on a popsicle, but upon hearing my car her eyes shoot up.
A smile grows on my daughters when she sees me getting out of the car. Amir voice cuts away from the Bluetooth as I close the car door.
"It's not a date and I haven't change my mind."
Amir laughs in my ear, "Whatever you say."
I hang up on him reaching for Soul. She quickly collapses in my arms. "Daddy you're late!" She says to me pouting causing me to fake pout back. "Sorry daddy had to handle some business."
I look past her to Nyasia. She looked as though she wants to say something to me, but did I really want to hear her out.
"What did you do today?" I ask my daughter taking the empty popsicle paper away from her.
It worries me that the smile she once had vanishes. "Soul?" I say her name more sternly and she looks up at me and shakes her head.
"Why are you shaking your head no? I hadn't even ask you anything," I tell her. She's scared to tell me she seen her mom today.
She lays her head down on my shoulder.
"I'm sorry," Nyasia apologizes to me for the third time. I didn't want an apology I just needed to make sure something like this never happens again.
My question is how did Tyasha even find out where Soul goes to daycare at? What did she say to my daughter?
"I don't need your apology," I turn on my heels walking towards my car.
I had to change her daycare. I didn't know what Tyasha wanted, but whatever it was she wasn't going to have it.
...
"Are you sure nothing interesting happened at daycare today?" I once again question my daughter who was picking at the star macaroni and cheese.
She stop messing around her fork resting above her bowl as she looks up at me. My daughter sometimes reminded me of myself. When I get in my feelings sometimes I want to be alone with my thoughts.
She has that trait with the way she's starting at me as if she wants me here but at the same time she's telling me to leave her alone.
Even though the corners of her mouth pulls into a smile as she stares at me I can tell something that woman said is eating at her.
I press my lips together.
"Soul what did Tyasha say to you?" My four year old eyes widen as she shakes her head.
"How did you know mama came Daddy?" Soul asks me.
"Mrs Nyasia told me, plus you seem sad today, and four year old is the happiest little girl I know," I tell this to her referring to her mood these past few hours.
It was quiet for a moment as she takes a bite out of her macaroni.
I sigh, "You know you don't have to hide anything from me right?"
She nods her head slowly her big brown eyes look up at me as she chews slowly.
She swallows the Mac and cheese before saying quietly, "Mommy said when she and her new boyfriend move, that she was gonna take me away."
My blood boils at that thought. I wanted to laugh so badly. "That ain't never going to happen Soul, nobody is going to take you away from me." I tell her standing up from my seat walking over to her.
Even if they were to try they wouldn't succeed, because I'll die go to hell come back and do it all over again for you.
"Daddy I wanna stay with you," she lets me know as she tries her hardest not to cry. I draw my thumb below her eye wiping the tears that escape.
"Soul you're not going anywhere, so stop thinking that you are," I let her know once again and she sniffs.
"But mommy said-
"Fuc-," I cut myself off calming down and telling her, "I don't care what mama told you, she doesn't have any say when it comes to you."
"You promise?" She asks me her doughy eyes pleading with me.
I pull her into my arms lifting her out of the chair. "I promise."
..
"Motherfucker don't call my phone with that bullshit!"
Tyasha screams at me through the phone. I'm sorry but I just had to call and light her ass a flame. After hearing what my daughter told me that shit had me heated.
"How about you don't visit my daughter telling her bull shit ass lies girl. You know my daughter ain't going to stay with you and that fuck nigga," I let her know.
"Bitch that's my daughter too! Fuck nigga if I wanted to I could have that lil girl taken away period. Child protective services would be called!"
Bitch what? Child protective services! I'll shoot this hoe threatening me about mine.
"Child protective services? Choke on a dick and die you ain't got shit on me to call shit. Them people already investigated me once before they ain't find shit," I tell her this throwing the dirty dishes in the sink. I hear a crash a glass must've broke?
"Look I could care less about that lil girl and where she end up at Jah, motherfucker you know like I know I didn't want to be pregnant in the first place!" She tells me ripping into my soul for a moment. That shit gutted me at that moment.
"Then don't visit her without me knowing bitch, keep her name out Cho mouth hoe, and don't threaten me over a child that you couldn't give a damn about!" The frustration I had with her levels up at a fast rate.
"Why you keep trying to cause problems girl? You going to make me do something I regret," my voice grows darker.
"You threatening me now Jah cause I went to see my daughter, and I told my daughter a little lie?"
"That's my daughter. Me, My, I, and Mine not yours like you said before you ain't want her to begin with so why the fuck make her miserable huh?" I yell at her through the phone slamming my bedroom door closed.
"I don't have to explain anything to you Jah-"
I press the end call button, hanging up on her, not wanting to waste anymore breath on her. I had already then said what I wanted to say and that was that.
My phone rings and I let it thinking that it could be Tyasha just trying to call me back. After it stops I collapse into the bed not bothering to remove my clothes only my shoes.
The phone rings again and I groan looking towards it seeing it's not Tyasha but Amir. I groan wondering why he was calling so late?
"What do you want?" I say with an attitude answering the phone. I could hear loud rap music in the background.
"Amir?" I say his name but louder. "Turn that shit down!" I hear his voice finally and the music lowers.
"Pa you sleeping?" He asks his voice sounding slurred.
" I was trying to until yo ass called what you want Amir?" I ask him already agitated about Tyasha and taking it out on him.
I knew I was but I didn't care at the moment I just wanted to be left alone, and I hope he'll hang up on me.
"What's sup with you? Why you have an attitude?"
"I don't have an attitude," I tell him my voice clearly laced with one.
"Fine you don't have an attitude but you ain't speaking to me nice," Amir lets me know and I roll my eyes at the comment.
"Do I ever speak to you nice?"
He laughs, "Not at all but you never this cranky, so what's sup?"
Why hasn't he hung up yet?
" Just dealing with some things, it ain't nothing important though," I tell him.
"Well if it ain't nothing important then it shouldn't have you being pissy like this," Amir lets me know laughing at his comment.
This nigga laughed a lot and I didn't understand why. I huff, "I'm not being pissy just not in the mood for playing or games."
"So as I said before you agitated but my question is why?" This smart mouth nigga tells me.
"My baby mama stressing me out." I tell him rolling over to my side placing my phone on my pillow making sure it's on speaker phone.
"What she came get Soul or something?" Amir asks me and I hear water running in his background.
"You still at your Aunt house?" I ask him ignoring his previous question before finally responding to it, "And no Soul is in my custody been like that since she was a baby. Her mama is just full of shit."
"I went back home earlier after we hung up. I was only there to set my cousin straight anyway," Amir lets me know his voice sounded low through to the water he had running in the background.
"Soul Soul mama that bad?"
"Yea the bitch that bad anyway where you live at?" I ask him realizing I never asked him before.
"I stay in the North side of Balti." He tells me hesitantly.
I arch a brow on why he sounded hesitant to tell me this. "It's nice down there on that side why you hesitated to tell me?"
"I don't know sometimes y'all niggas on the South side seem to hate the niggas from the north side," Amir lets me know some reason the tone of his voice ain't sit right with me. It's like he was angry with me.
"That's only the gangs around here Kingping and Gorillamob, that's all. I'm cool with the niggas in the South," I let him know lying through my teeth.
I'm cool with him not them niggas in the north.
"Word?" He questions me, and the water is finally turns off.
"Yea Jet. I have no animosity towards the people of the north," I lie to him again just to ease his mind.
"I'm glad to hear that because I can't stand that Kingpin vs Gorillamob shit! Why can't them two gangs just come together and form something amazing?" Amir questions me it almost sounded as though he was looking at me like I had the answers.
Coming together? Kingpin with the Mobs? No way that could ever happen not after what happened to August.
"I'm sure if those niggas in those gangs just talk to one another maybe they could get a better understanding of each others situation. However with the way things are now that ain't never going to happen," I butter into his thoughts trying to reason with him on what he's saying.
Amir sighs into the phone, "It's only a matter of time before one of them crash and burns right?"
Yea it was only a matter of time before Gorilla Mob fucked up and meet their maker. Then I'll kill their leader, just as they did mine, and bless this cycle of hate continues until I die.
I look out the window staring into the darkness of the night, with only the street lights and moon to illuminate the streets.
"Only a matter of time."