Zendaya PoV
I decided to stay a while at my moms so I took 3 days off. Even if a distraction from Tom and our potential future would have been not that bad.
I sat on the couch and watched my favorite series while mum was buying groceries, when another text from Tom that lit up the screen of my phone. I sighed and finally opened the dozen of messages he send me in the past 3 hours.
Tom♡: Morning Gorgeous.
Tom♡: Just wanted to tell you I'll take the flight at 11 a.m on Monday
Tom♡: Then I'll be 1 pm at the airport in LA
Tom♡: Will you be there waiting? <3
Tom♡: Are you busy?
Tom♡: I just miss you, sorry for the spam.
Tom♡: Is everything alright?
Tom♡: Daya?
Tom♡: Are you ok?
Tom♡: Daya Honey?
I sighed again and my hand trembled when I tipped on the keybord. What should I reply?
I swallowed. Even if my mum told me to tell him and I knew I needed to, I wasn't ready at all for this conversation. And it was already Friday....
I knew I wouldn't be able to meet him on Monday and act like nothing happened. Like I wasn't pregnant by him.
I hated it, but I decided to lie.
Zendaya: Hey Tom, sorry, I unfortunately cought a cold so I feel really bad. I'm so sorry but I think it wouldn't be a good idea to meet up.
Tom♡: Oh crap, but I wouldn't mind though. You know, I could make you a soup and we could just watch movies..?
Zendaya: I know, but I don't want you to get sick too. You need to shoot the next few months...
I didn't expect to feel so bad. But I was being mean, right? I never lied to him, never in our whole friendship.
Zendaya: I'm really sorry..
Tom♡: It's okay.. I just really miss you.. but when you're not feeling well then you might as well just rest. <3
Zendaya: Thanks. I'm sorry again.
Tom♡: Get well soon <3<3
I sighed and wiped away a tear.
Those fucking hormones. Making this thing even harder then it already is.
I decided to turn of my phone. Completely.
I layed down on the couch with a sigh. I started to starr at the ceiling and lost myself in my thoughts. I remembered my moms words from yesterday.
,,Honey, do you have feelings for him?
,,Mum.. I don't know.. even if I would, It wouldn't matter.''
,,But do you have feelings?"
,,Why is this so important to you?"
,,Because the way you talk about him is really obvious."
I sighed.
,,Maybe I have, maybe he even has feelings too, I mean sometimes we kiss for no sexual reason or we flirt..or we cuddle..but we never talk about it. And we promised each other that we won't fall in love."
,,I just want you to be happy. And honestly, sweetie, I don't think it's healthy to ignore those feelings you deep down have. Especially now that you're expecting a baby from him.''
My hand wandered to my stomach and again, it felt weird to know there was an actual living human inside of me.
Half me, half Tom.
I smiled at this. I couldn't deny that this baby would have the most precious Dad on this whole world.
..,,You can't deny the baby has good genes, Honey."...
I remembered my mom saying. I chuckled. She had a point though. To call Tom pretty would be an understatement.
I sighed again and hated myself for lying to the most important person in my life.
Yes, I probably had feelings for Tom. Probably even really serious feelings. I thought about him all the time. I missed him all the time. The sexual part of this deal hasn't been that important in a long time. We enjoyed the cuddles, the kisses and the conversations. Just spending time with each other. With him I felt safe, I felt free. I didn't had to fake myself for him from the very beginning. He always liked me the way I was.
I closed my eyes and let myself imagine a positive future with Tom for a minute.
What if he wouldn't be mad? If he would be exited? What when he would want to support me? What if.. we would finally admit those feelings we had for each other?
I sighed. It was so confusing and exhausting to seriously think about us. Why couldn't I go back to that free and flawless time with him where we just had a good friendship?
Why did feelings always complicate things?
It was Thuesday now. I was at home again since Sonday and just spend the days trying to organize my life in a new way.
I finally coped with the fact that I was pregnant and honestly, it wasn't bad at all.
I always had an excuse when I wanted to eat snacks or more food than I usually would do, I noticed my body got more female curves and my boobs slowly grew bigger.
The only downside was the morning sickness, the tiredness and, well, the still existing anxious thought of Tom's reaction. Since Friday he had tried to reach out to me and texted me a dozen times, but I just couldn't get myself to act normal, so I kinda ghosted him. I felt bad, but I just needed a small break from him to think of the best way possible to tell him, he'll gonna be a dad.
I didn't told my mom though. I had told her he didn't texted me at all.
Yesterday I saw a post from Harry, his brother, that they were at a party. The post was a photo ot Harry, Tom, Harrison and some girls I didn't know. To say it didn't bother me would be a lie. But who was I to blame him to party with friends, instead of visiting me? I told him off by myself.
I was sad though. And of course, I missed him. The longer i looked at my ultrasound and stroked my belly, the more I wanted him by my side. I wanted to get through and experience all of this with him, not alone.
My mom came to visit me today. We ate breakfast and I guess I didn't seemed that happy, because she suddenly asked:
,,What did Tom say?"
My head snapped up. ,,Uhm.. no.. It's not.. he.." I stammered. She tilted her head. ,,Wasn't he supposed to come to LA yesterday? Didn't you guys meet?"
I stayed silent.
,,You didn't? Oh hun I..-'' ,,He didn't came at all." I interruped her. Lying to my mom in the first place had been a bad idea.
,,But why?'' she asked.
I sighed. ,,I told him, I have a bad cold and that I am not feeling well." My mom sighed as well. I averted my eyes. ,,Since friday, I kinda.. ignored his texts.. I feel bad but.. I just don't know how to tell him."
She took my hand in hers and looked at me worringly. ,,I understand you, Honey. I understand your fears and anxiety. I really do. But you can't ignore him forever. Damn, Daya, he is the father of your little baby! You need to tell him!"
I swallowed. ,, I know."
I began to tell her my fears and everything that went through my head. She didn't minded my little breakdown, she just was there for me. And I adored that. Then we spend the day listening to music and watching series.
It was around 3pm, I sat infront of the TV with a big bowl of icecream in my lap, when my doorbell rang. My mom just came down the stairs and she looked at me questioningly.
I shruged my shoulders. ,,Maybe it's Darnell. Can you open the door?" I said. Mom nodded and I turned back to my favourite series.
Just as I was wondering why my mom was taking so long to let Darnell in, I heard a familiar voice that wasn't Darnell's.
,,Thank you, Claire. I really didn't know what else to do."
Tom.
I rushed up from my couch and ran a hand nervously through my hair.
What on earth was he doing here?
,,No problem, Tom. Maybe just try to talk to her." I heard my mom reply.
,,Yes, that's what I was about to do. Is she in the living room?"
,,Yes, come in." My mom smiled.
I paniced. Apart from my oversized clothes and my unkempt hair, I was also emotionally unprepared for the upcoming conversation.
I stood up and quickly straightened my hair in front of the mirror.
,,Daya."
I turned around, and there he was. A suitcase in one hand, and his jacket in the other. He looked exhausted and tired. His eyes looked at me worriedly and yet uncertainly. I've never seen him that worried and yet relieved to see me.
,,Tom." I nervously replied. I looked at my mom, who stood behind Tom. Of course she sensed the tension between Tom and me, so she gestured me that she would leave us alone. She also gestured my that I should finally talk to him and tell him the truth.
After my mom left, I took a deep breath. ,,What are you doing here, Tom?"
He starred at me, irritated. ,,What I...-? Daya! I'm fucking worried about you! You didn't replied all my texts and calls since friday!"
I sighed. ,,And? Can't I just take a small break for once? Do I always have to text you 24/7?"
I didn't know why, but suddenly I was mad at him. I blamed my hormones for that.
He took a step towards me and layed his jacket on the couch.
,,No, you don't have to, but it's just unusual for you. That's not how you usually act. Is something wrong?" he asked, and again, the worried look on his face appeared.
,,NO! Just.. just.. go! I just need a break from.. from us, okay?" I averted my eyes.
,,What? No, I won't. Daya. I literally flew from Atlanta to here to see you!" he exclaimed.
,,I didn't asked you to!! I told you not to come!" I was helpless. Why was I so angry at him?
,,I know that you told me not to come. But honestly, why? Because you really don't seem sick to me!"
I sighed. ,,As if this is any of your business..." He sighed too, but it sounded hurt. ,,Daya. What's wrong? What did I did wrong?"
,,Nothing. Why did you even came?" I asked him.
,,Because I care! Because I'm worried!"
,,Why would you care? I saw that you went on a party yesterday. So apparently I am easy to replace!" I didn't understand my words myself.
He did looked irritated. ,,What? What, no. Harry dragged me to this party because all I did was being sad that we couldn't meet up.'' he explained.
,,You mean, you were sad that we couldn't fuck, right? Because that's all you ever wanna do!"
He flinched at my words. So did I.
There we stood, both mad at each other, red eyes and sad tension between us.
Tom averted his eyes and took a breath. ,,If that's.. It that is what you're thinking.. then we might as well quit this whole thing. And If that is what you think of me, that I am some dickhead, I really wonder where you were the last 6 months. And whether I have only imagined all this." he calmly said. His voice was hurt though. I actually never seen him that hurt. It made me cry.
He turned around.
,,Wait! Tom! Tom, I'm sorry! Please! I didn't mean that!" I cried out and tried to reach him.
,,But you said it, Daya. You can't magically take that away." he sniffed.
I finally grabbed his arm and he turned around to me. His eyes were red and there was a tear on his left cheek. ,,What did I do wrong, Daya? I really thought.. we.. were more. Why are you acting like I'm some dickhead? Who has only used you all the time?"
I wiped away my tears. ,,You're not. I didn't meant that, really. You're not a dickhead."
,,Then why did you said that? And why did you ghosted me in the first place? Why are we even fighting? Why are you upset about me? I.. I.. don't understand you, Zendaya!"
I lowered my head. ,,I.. I'm afraid."
,,Of what?"
I stayed silent.
,,Daya, what happened last week? What did I do wrong?"
I still couldn't say anything.
,,Do you.. maybe.. I don't know.. like someone? Do you have a boyfriend and.. are afraid of telling me?" he assumed, while he ran his hand through his curls.
,,No. There is no one else. It's about.. us." I quietly admitted.
,,What is it?" he said and put his hands on my waist. I flinched. He quickly pulled away, but one look in his eyes told me, he was hurt. Again.
,,What the fuck, Daya! What is wrong?? What did I do that changed everything between us?" he shouted while a tear escaped his eye.
,,I.. you.." I stammered, while tears were also flowing down my cheeks.
,,You never reacted like this to my touch! Never! What changed?"
I cried. ,,Please I..-"
,,No! Zendaya, please talk to me, I'm lost here, honestly. Explain me whats wrong! My touch never bothered you!" he interrupted me.
Something inside me snapped. Seeing him that worried about me and that caring about our relationship, made me suddenly realise that I just pushed him away from me.
,,Maybe your touch feels diffent now, that I'm carrying your baby!" I shouted while crying.
We went silent. His face went pale and he swallowed. He was shocked.
,,You.. you..what?" he quietly asked, his voice sounding weak. ,,You're.. pregnant?"
I nodded.
,,Yes. A-and I just paniced on friday. I was overwhelmed, which I still am and I was and am afraid of your reaction and everything in general.. I..-I just didn't know how to tell you and I'm sorry and I..-"
His arms gently wrapping around my body interrupted my rambling. He didn't say one thing, he just gently pressed me against him and hugged me.
After a few seconds of shock I wrapped my arms around him too and began to cry into his shoulder.
,,I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.." I sobbed.
,,Shhh..."
He put a hand on my head and pressed me even more to his chest.
,,It's ok, Don't worry." He said.
I was still crying when I heard him sniffle against my ear.
,,I would never leave you, Daya. Never. We'll make this work." He whispered into my ear after a few minutes.
I sniffed. ,,Really?"
He slowly pulled away and cuped my face with his hands. He smiled lovingly. ,,Yes. I promise." He wiped away a tear on my cheek.
,,You're actually pregnant? You're not kidding?" he asked.
I weakly smiled. ,,No, I'm not kidding. I found out on Thursday."
He smiled even more. ,,How far along are we?"
I was surprised by the term 'we', but it just warmed my heart. ,,Uhm.. 10 weeks."
Tom hugged me again and I inhaled his comforting scent.
,,Want to.. uhm.. sit on the couch?" I nervously chuckled.
He chuckled too. ,,Of course."
We sat down on the couch and he immediately put an arm around me. I snuggled into his arms and began to tell him everything from the beginning. How I found out about the pregnancy, how I paniced, how I visited my mum and why I ghosted him.
,,I'm really sorry, Tom. For the ghosting and what I said about you earlier. I just.. paniced. I'm sorry. I would never think about you in that way I let it seem. You're the most important person in my life. I'm serious." I apologized again.
Tom gently pulled me even closer to him. ,,It's okay, Daya, Don't worry. We have important things to think of now, huh?" he smiled at the last part of his sentence and with a look, that asked for my permission, he slowly put his hand on my stomach.
I took a breath, because it felt good and weird the same time. I looked up to him and put my hand on his.
We stared at each other a few seconds. Then, out of nowhere, I felt his lips against mine and we started kissing.
When he slowly pulled away, we both smiled and blushed.
,,I want to quit our arrangement, Daya." Tom suddenly said. My smile faded and for a few seconds I thought he wanted to tell me, that he just would support me financially or something, but then he added:
,,I finally want to be with you. Not just sexually or on a friendship basis, I want you to be my girlfriend. I've wanted this for 2 years now."
I teared up again. I knew it. I knew I wasn't the only one who had feelings all the time.
,,You're sure? It.. won't be easy.. Especially now, that I'm pregnant." I doubted though.
He smiled. ,,I have never been so sure of anything as I'm with you. And I know it maybe won't always be easy. But I really wanna be with you. And with our baby. Even if it wasn't planned and all, I still am exited and I want to be a dad."
A tear escaped my eye, this time because I was happy and relieved.
,,Thank god. I thought I was the only one who had feelings." I kissed him again and whispered against his lips:
,,Thank you. Thank you so much. I love you, Tom."
,,I love you, Daya."
✎ Hellooo I hope you enjoyed this second part. Feel free to give feedback (And also new ideas). I'm sorry for the drama haha but.. angry confessions are often the best. Anyway..
Do you want a part 3?
Sorry again for grammar mistakes.
Love y'all <3✎