Read on to watch the interaction between two cats, prior to the event that turned everything around...
Lilypaw's POV
My stomach was practically hurting from how much I was laughing as I watched the dark ginger pelt of Squirrelflight prance around me – her meows only coming out in squeals.
I then raised my eyebrows in surprise as she stopped, taking a deep breath. "Okay, you need to tell me again," the she-cat purred, sitting down and then scooting closer to me. "So, how did he approach you before he confessed? What do you think made him decide to finally confess?"
I shook my head slowly, actually having to catch my breath myself as I began to relay what had happened between Thornclaw and me just days ago. "Okay, well..." I murmured, cocking an eyebrow for a moment as I internally gathered details. "Him finally deciding to confess, well... I think it was the same thing that made me want to confess if he hadn't beaten me to it!"
I then purred once again as Squirrelflight let out a huff and rolled her green eyes. "Oh, yes – the accidental friend-zoning - heard about that."
I copied her, also giving a lash of my tail. "Yeah, yeah, my mistake – it worked out!" I jokingly dismissed. "When it comes to how he approached me before the confessing... he came into the medicine den after I had..."
I trailed off, giving another roll of my eyes and sighing. "...passed out after the eclipse battle..." I then muttered almost inaudibly, trying to ignore Squirrelflight's snickers as I did so.
But quickly, those feelings of contempt went away as I was brought back to the moment I currently was re-living, and my stomach felt as if it were hollowing out as I continued to describe it all to my friend. "And then he came up to me, gave me a mouse, and said that he'd hunted it for me."
Squirrelflight then squealed once again, her eyes widening. "For you?"
"No, he showed it to me and said that he had hunted it for Purdy!" I teased before purring with amusement. "Yes, for me!"
Squirrelflight then nearly jumped in the air as she let out another squeal. "This is too adorable and sweet for me to handle! Then what?"
I then found my ears growing hot as I went on. "Well, that was when he asked me if I had a moment to talk, took me out into the forest, and then told me that he loved me..." I purred softly, my heart pounding and my fur tingling as I looked shyly down at the ground – just as I already have countless amounts of times in the last few days... "And I told him that I loved him back."
I looked back up to see Squirrelflight's green eyes glowing with such genuine excitement for me, her tail lashing back and forth. "Aw, wow! Wow!" She exclaimed before brushing her tail against my shoulder. "Lilypaw, I am so, so happy for you!"
I gave the she-cat a nod. "Aw, thanks, Squirrelflight, really," I meowed warmly, returning her gesture. "I can only hope to have a relationship like you and Brambleclaw have."
I then looked over my shoulder, where Squirrelflight's mate happened to be sharing a meal with two of their kits – Lionpaw and Hollypaw. "You two seem so happy, really, and you have such beautiful and wonderful kits."
I was then surprised to look back at Squirrelflight, and actually catch her eyes briefly flashing with guilt. "Aw, thank you, Lily," she then replied in a strangely underwhelming way.
But nevertheless, I continued, hoping that I had just been looking too much into things. It's not new! "Of course! I'm only telling the truth," I went on enthusiastically. "Seriously, if Thornclaw and I ever decide to have kits, if they're half the cats that your kits have become, I'll be happy."
I have to admit, it was slightly unnerving when Squirrelflight's demeanor didn't change. She actually began to shift uncomfortably, looking down at her paws, as she then meowed, "Ah, well, I'm incredibly proud of them."
I then raised my eyebrows with intrigue as the she-cat finally met my gaze again, but she still shifted about, her gaze anxious and almost, frantic? "So... um..." she then hesitated. "How was your last trip to the dirtplace?"
My eyes widened, and I found myself leaning towards the she-cat with my eyebrows raised. "What?"
"Lilypaw!"
Barely having time to process my friend's question, I whipped my head over my shoulder at what seemed like the sound of my leader's voice. And sure enough, I just barely caught the flame-colored pelt of Firestar padding through the bramble screen of the medicine den entrance.
As I quickly stood up, I thought that I could hear Squirrelflight whisper "thank StarClan" from behind me.
I then looked back at the dark ginger she-cat, flashing her a confused, yet amused look. Yeah, I second that...
I then turned away, running up to meet my leader. "Over here, Firestar!"
Firestar immediately responded to my call, glancing over at me and giving me a nod in greeting as he walked over to join me. "Good, and..." I then watched as Firestar narrowed his green eyes, scanning them around the camp clearing.
After a few heartbeats, he paused, his gaze seeming to be set on one of my Clanmates. "Ashfur!" he then called out, lashing his tail just once. "Could you join us over here, please?"
I followed my leader's gaze to see the gray-speckled tom sharing a meal with Dustpelt just under the Highledge. When Firestar called his name, he quickly stood up, gave a farewell to Dustpelt, and then seemed to make his way over to the two of us.
Weirdly, halfway through his travel, I noticed him practically stop in his tracks, and his blue gaze seemed to be looking at something beyond where Firestar and I were standing.
I couldn't help but look behind me to try and get a gander of what he might be staring at so coldly, and to my surprise, it was exactly where the dark ginger pelt of Squirrelflight was still currently standing. Squirrelflight herself didn't look too pleased either, actually backing up a pawstep, her stance very defensive.
I narrowed my eyes, this whole encounter immediately piquing my interest. Strange... "Hey, Squilf-"
Squirrelflight quickly cut off the concern I was about to express, continuing to back away from me. "Hey, Lilypaw, I'll see you later," she meowed almost incomprehensibly as she then began to trot over to where her mate and kits were still settled by the fresh-kill pile. "Count on telling me the whole story again, okay?"
All I could think to do was nod quickly at the she-cat, flashing her a look of understanding. "O-okay!" I called out to her. "I'll see you later!"
After staring off worriedly at my friend for a few moments, I then looked back at Ashfur to barely catch him letting out a sigh and rolling his eyes, before finally walking up to meet Firestar and me.
And rudely, I didn't even give my Clanmate a greeting as I delved deep into my thoughts, wondering why the heck Squirrelflight had suddenly seemed so determined to make herself scarce.
Or... why Ashfur seemed to be the reason why.
I mean, why was he looking at her like that? It's almost like he didn't care that any other cat could potentially see him... I asked myself. And the fact that Squirrelflight was also so visibly uncomfortable is a whole other story...
I then narrowed my eyes, having to admit to myself that this actually wasn't the first time that I had noticed something like this between them. In fact, something has seemed off to me since the first day that I joined ThunderClan around five moons ago...
But I then quickly let out a snort, shaking my head. Then again, I was fresh out of the kittypet life – I still somewhat am – when I was around so many gossiping she-cats. Their life's work was to make something out of nothing! I then reassured myself. For all I knew, Squirrelflight was just leaving because Firestar hadn't asked for her, and Ashfur was confused as to why she was there.
But either way, I couldn't ponder any of that anymore – Firestar was literally talking.
"If the two of you aren't doing anything right now, would you mind heading out into the forest and finding some marigold?" the leader meowed before nervously glancing over his shoulder at the medicine den behind him. "Leafpool and Jaypaw apparently are running low, and neither of them can spare a moment to get it themselves."
I quickly shook my head at Firestar once he looked back and Ashfur and me. "I'm not doing a thing!" I replied enthusiastically, excited to be given a mission so vital. "That's no problem at all!"
Firestar gave a brief purr of amusement, giving me a nod. "Wonderful," he meowed before averting his gaze to the cat beside me. "Ashfur?"
I blinked in confusion when there wasn't immediately a response, and I looked over at Ashfur to find him appearing very distracted.
And surprisingly... but not surprisingly at all – he wasn't even looking at Firestar or me, but was looking towards where Squirrelflight had settled down with Brambleclaw and her kits, his deep blue gaze dark.
It actually sent a chill down my spine. Yeah... I then thought. I know what I've been seeing. Those gossiping she-cats have got nothing on me.
Just a moment after that, Ashfur flicked his ears and finally spoke. "Hm?" I then watched as he shook his head quickly, as if to bring himself back into focus, before looking back at Firestar. "Yes, that's fine with me too. How much do we need to gather?"
I only flashed the gray tom a brief look of concern before also glancing back at Firestar, and if the leader himself had noticed Ashfur's weirdness, he wasn't showing it at all. "I'm sure that they'll take whatever they can get," he answered, his green eyes full of worry. "At least a few of our Clanmates have infected wounds from the eclipse battle, and the marigold is going fast."
Ashfur and I then managed to exchange an anxious look. "My goodness, then we'll try to do what we can!" I reassured the leader, likely looking more hopeful than I actually was. StarClan grant we find some... I thought nervously as images of Squirrelflight actually flashed into my mind. She had gotten some nasty wounds from the battle, but none of them had ever become infected. Surely, thanks to marigold... uh, oh.
I then pulled out of my own thoughts as I noticed Ashfur already beginning to back away towards the ThunderClan camp entrance. "I'd say that we will do what we can," the tom muttered. "Ferncloud's been in the medicine den this whole time with an infected wound, and I haven't liked sitting around waiting for it to get worse."
As I then flashed Ashfur a compassionate look, so proud that the slightly older warrior was getting an opportunity to help his sister, Firestar also gave a satisfied nod.
"Thank you both," the leader beamed before glancing up at the sky. "If you can't find any by the time the sun begins to set – StarClan forbid – you all can just return here and let me know."
"StarClan forbid, indeed!" I exclaimed to Firestar as I then began to follow Ashfur, who had already nearly made it to the gorse tunnel. "Don't worry, Firestar! We'll try our best to find something."
I then paused for a moment, flicking my ears as I glanced at Ashfur's gray-speckled tail disappearing through the camp entrance. "I mean, we will find something!"
I then lashed my tail in farewell to Firestar, whose eyes were shining with humor, before I finally quickened my pace to follow Ashfur into the forest.
And by the time I had crawled through the other side, it actually took me a moment to figure out where Ashfur was, as he had already seemed to have made his way deeper into the forest. But I almost immediately caught his gray pelt just a few fox-lengths away, and I trotted ahead to keep up with his brisk pace.
But it only took me a moment to process that his pace wasn't as "brisk" as it had appeared. Yes, he was walking quickly, but it almost appeared as if it was to blow off steam; his expression was pensive, and his fur was actually somewhat bristled.
For a moment, I was actually worried to utter a word – scared that I would anger him by breaking into some weird, brooding thoughts of his.
Overall, he just looked a bit uncomfortable. Sure, maybe it was because the two of us didn't know each other too well, and now we were being sent on an expedition alone that could potentially take us the rest of the day.
But honestly, I would be a bit surprised if it was because of me, as I actually considered me and Ashfur to be friendly – we'd both been on the patrol to see if WindClan had left our territory after their ambush, and according to Thornclaw, Ashfur had helped me get back to camp after I had... passed out after the eclipse battle.
I couldn't help but stare ahead at his gray-speckled pelt as I continued to think. Well, maybe he's just anxious about Ferncloud not having recovered from her battle wounds, and that we might not find marigold to help her?
I then let out an almost inaudible sigh, breaking my gaze from the older warrior's back. Please. That's definitely part of it, but I'm also socially aware enough to put two and two together – something about Squirrelflight's presence in those couple of moments definitely messed with him. But why?
I then shook my head quickly, forcing myself to forget about that topic once again and focus on the mission – getting this uncomfortable silence to end. "So, have you ever been sent out to collect herbs as a warrior?" I asked Ashfur jokingly, quickening my pace just a little. "Seems like a downgrade, huh?"
As I asked the question, I tried to suppress the cringy-ness that was welling up in my stomach. Hey, it's better than "how was your last trip to the dirtplace?".
In front of me, Ashfur simply shrugged and gave a sniff. "It's definitely not my favorite thing," he answered simply. "If it hadn't been so urgent, I probably would have sent Lionpaw in my place."
I purred with amusement in an attempt to lighten the mood. "Fair enough!" I then replied. "I would have sent a cat that knows absolutely anything about herbs in my place."
To my surprise, Ashfur actually also let out a small purr. "I can't help but second that."
I then raised my eyebrows, continuing to be surprised as he actually slowed his pace so that he was walking beside me. "Can I be honest?"
I tilted my head, already imagining the endless possibilities of what he could say. Me and Squirrelflight have enough tension between us to cut a boulder in half. "Sure, have at it!"
Ashfur then somewhat leaned towards my ear, whispering, "I have no idea what marigold looks like, or where to find it."
Hm, that works too.
I then purred with amusement at the tom's words, and then gave a shrug. "If I'm also being honest, I'm right there with you," I replied to the tom, my voice still full of laughter. Gosh-darn us for never being infected. "Leafpool and Jaypaw must really be in a bind if they sent Firestar to pick the first two cats that he saw."
Ashfur simply shook his head beside me. "No kidding."
I then briefly took a glance back towards the way we had come. "Do we go back to camp and ask Leafpool or Jaypaw for some direction?"
"No, that would take too long," Ashfur quickly replied, and I realized that he probably still had his injured sister on the brain – there really was no time to waste. "I'm sure we can find some if we just think a little harder."
I then nodded enthusiastically back at the tom, trying to be encouraged by his words despite how grim things were currently looking. "True – we sure as heck aren't anything close to medicine cats, but we've been treated by them, right?"
I then ran ahead of Ashfur, thinking as the two of us traveled through the bright forest – the sunlight leaking through the trees and splashing along our backs. "Well, for starters, marigold is a flower, correct?"
Behind me, I heard Ashfur snort with amusement. "I think that a newborn kit could make that guess."
I then sniffed and rolled my eyes, pausing and waiting for Ashfur to catch up with me as we arrived at a clearing that was just tail-lengths from the stream at WindClan's border. "And who's going to penalize me for that? That eliminates a lot!"
Ashfur then gave a shrug and sat down as he arrived at my side. "You're not wrong..." he then muttered. Then, after the two of us simply sat and pondered for a few moments, I noticed him tilt his head to the side. "This may sound stupid..."
I looked back at the tom with a single eyebrow raised. "Well, I guess we'd be even then, huh?" And when he flashed me an amused, yet stern look, I simply lashed my tail at him. "Go on."
Ashfur then looked ahead, out towards where the lake would be, his blue eyes narrowed and contemplative. "Well, would the 'gold' in marigold indicate that it's maybe some bright yellow or orange color?" Then when he looked back at me to find me simply pondering the question, he let out a huff and frustratedly shook his head. "Forget it."
I quickly put the tip of my tail on his shoulder, flashing him a warm look. "No, that's really good!" I reassured the gray tom. "A bright yellow or orange flower?"
I then excitedly stood up, taking a few pawsteps forward as I grazed my gaze around our forest surroundings. "That's not something that's easy to mix up! If we find that, we've probably got our marigold!"
Although Ashfur didn't show it to the extent that I did, I looked back at him to see his eyes gleaming with hope, and he quickly stood up and followed behind me as I began to pad closer to the lake, beyond the trees.
And as the lake came into sight, I looked back at Ashfur once again as a question came to mind. "And it probably smells pretty good too, right?"
Ashfur then let out another snort as he ran ahead to flank me. "Have you ever found a flower that smelled like crowfood?"
I let out a sniff that was mainly meant just for myself. Ironically, I don't think that lilies smell amazing, however, that's not smart-alecky enough of an answer. "Yes," I purred, narrowing my eyes at Ashfur as I held back laughter. "It's actually found in the form of a gray-speckled cat that clearly isn't very detail-oriented."
Ashfur then blinked at me, his ears flicking as he let out another snort. "Please. I'll find them before you do."
I then let out a mrrow of laughter as Ashfur left my side, trotting to a clearing that was several tail-lengths away. "Oh, found them."
I let out a gasp and whipped myself around to face the tom – pretty much certain already that he had to be messing with me. "What? Are you pulling my tail?" I exclaimed as I then began to run up to the clearing that he had settled at. "That would be-"
I then cut off my own words, feeling almost physically bowled over as my eyes immediately fell on the bright orange flowers in front of me.
And they smelled pretty darn good.
After inhaling the wonderful scent, I let out a satisfied grunt and stared amazed back at Ashfur. "My goodness, you actually found marigold!"
Ashfur then gave a sniff as he scanned his eyes around the abundant clump of flowers spread out in front of us. "Or rather, I found a bright orange-yellow flower that smells good, that we are assuming to be marigold."
After purring with amusement at the tom's comment, I looked up at the sky to get a gander of the time we had left – and unfortunately, while the sun was still bright and fairly high in the sky, I knew that it wouldn't be long before the sky turned orange, and the sun began to disappear behind the trees. "I suppose at this point, we'll just have to take our chances..."
Then, as if the panic of the situation had hit the both of us at the exact same time, we both practically dove into the pile of flowers to begin collecting as much of them as we could.
And to make this obviously tedious task feel just a little less tedious, I decided to begin a conversation – feeling much more comfortable doing so this time around. "Hm, I suppose this still feels like a noble Clan cat mission, even if we're not hunting or fighting," I meowed cheerfully to Ashfur. "We're saving cats, right?"
Ashfur sniffed and gave a shrug. "Sure. And even though you're just an apprentice, you've experienced enough to make that call, I'd say."
I actually was uplifted by the tom's words, picturing all that I had been able to experience and do since I had become a Clan cat – more than I had ever experienced in my life as a kittypet. It was perfectly wonderful and dandy... but nothing like this. "I guess so!" I purred, agreeing with the tom. "Not every apprentice can say that they got to fight in a battle between all of the Clans... where the sun disappeared," I reminisced, my heart practically lifting as I thought about all of it.
I then looked down shyly, my heart warming up to match the sun's as another memory crossed my mind. "And, well... I've been hunting since my second day in ThunderClan."
To my amusement, Ashfur was nodding out of the corner of my eye, as if he had immediately picked up on the implications of that comment. "Yeah... a certain friend of mine was pretty kind to help you with that," he muttered. Then, after the two of us shared a brief purr of amusement, he looked back down at his marigold. "I heard that the two of you have decided to become more than friends, huh?"
I also looked back down at the flowers I was collecting, growing shy and bashful once again. "Yes, we have," I meowed, my ears grew hot and another purr rising in my throat as Ashfur reminded me of the spectacular fact once again.
But as exciting as it all was to me, I didn't want to gush about my love life to all of my Clanmates. "I'm not mad at it," I simply muttered as I picked another piece of marigold.
Ashfur then sniffed with humor. "I would hope not."
I then found myself looking back up at the tom in curiosity as I heard him let out a sigh. "But that's great," he then meowed despite the obviously very contemptuous sigh. "Thornclaw deserves a bit of softness in his life for that hard head of his."
I tried to joke along with the tom and push away my curiosity. "Ha! And I suppose that I need a bit of hardness for my soft kittypet head!"
After the two of us shared yet another laugh, we then both looked down at our flowers once again, simply concentrating on getting as much as possible to bring back to camp.
At least, that's probably how Ashfur saw it – the silence was giving me time to hesitate and wonder whether or not I should reciprocate the question that he had just asked me.
Sure, it was a question just for the sake of continuing to make conversation, but at the same time, I was so, so curious to see what he would say. The way that Ashfur was looking at Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight earlier... it really makes me wonder if...
I then took a deep breath, deciding I was going to let my curiosity get the better of me. For all that Ashfur knew, I had not observed anything about him and Squirrelflight, and he hopefully wouldn't have any reason to suspect anything.
I almost immediately took another breath, still nervous despite my certainty. Also, if he's at least a decent cat, he won't be offended by those kinds of questions. "Um... if you don't mind me asking, do you have a special cat in your life?"
To my complete horror and dismay, he didn't answer immediately, just as I had feared, and he stopped picking at his marigold, to make things worse.
And that moment of silence felt like an eternity, but surely was longer in my own head than it actually was. However, I panicked, and felt that I had to fill it. "No need to answer if that's too invasive, I mean-"
I then cut myself off, startled as Ashfur then aggressively ripped several marigold flowers from their stems all at once. "No," he answered simply as he then placed the flowers in his little pile. "No, I don't."
For a moment, I could only stare fearfully back at the gray-speckled tom before forcing a laugh and looking back down at my own flowers. "Nothing at all wrong with that..."
I then found myself almost frantically picking at the marigold flowers now, keeping my head down as my paws practically shook. Goodness, I don't think I've ever regretted doing something so quickly after actually doing it, I thought anxiously. Ugh, I hate that I did that! I knew that it was invasive and yet I did it anyway. And it clearly upset him.
I then tilted my head, my eyebrows raising. But it's enough for me to continue to suspect that something fishy is going on with him. I suppose it doesn't necessarily have to have to do with Squirrelflight, but it only adds to that potential narrative...
I then flicked my ears, being pulled away from my thoughts once again as I actually heard Ashfur let out what sounded like an amused sniff.
I then looked up, both surprised and amused as Ashfur seemed to be struggling to gather all of his marigold. "Not only did Firestar not consider that we might not know what marigold is – we still might not..." he began, his voice actually full of laughter. "He also didn't consider the fact that we might struggle to carry all of it back."
I couldn't help but let out a relieved sigh at the tom lightening the mood – whether he had meant to or not. "He sure as heck did not!"
Then, as I began to attempt to gather my own marigold, I heard Ashfur and saw Ashfur continue to laugh out of the corner of my eye. "What?" I pressed to him.
Ashfur then attempted to speak as he collected several flowers in between his jaws. "Along with your softness, Thornclaw could also help you to get rid of that kittypet lingo of yours."
I let out a feigned gasp before bending down and biting into my own pile. "Oh, come on!" I meowed through a full mouth. I then lashed my tail in the direction of camp. "I'd hurry up before I toss my pile in your face!"
"I'm terrified," Ashfur muttered before pelting ahead of me, leading the way. "Come on, Lilypaw – there's no time to waste."
I gave a sharp nod before running ahead to catch up with the tom. "Right behind you!"
Then, as I caught up and then slowed down my pace just a little, I couldn't help but stare contemplatively at Ashfur's gray-speckled pelt as I followed behind him. Though I certainly hadn't planned it, I'd learned a lot about one of my Clanmates today. What would I do with this information? Nothing at all, but it all left me incredibly intrigued.
Ashfur clearly wasn't a bad tom by any means, and this marigold expedition had actually been... fun? If Ashfur and I hadn't been considered acquainted before, we definitely were now.
However, there also was very clearly something going on with him and Squirrelflight – they had some sort of history that had occurred before I'd even arrived in the Clans – and it was something that affected the both of them negatively.
And after lots of thought, and reflecting on everything I'd seen up until this point, it seemed like it was something that the both of them, mainly Ashfur, seemed to struggle to cope with.