"And I guess we find each other again tonight" I hear his voice.
Sitting on the little balcony, I turn to see Tooru appearing at the same corner he appeared the night before. I had two reasons to be here today. One, I couldn't sleep. Two, I knew I would get to see Tooru. Even though I knew that tomorrow we would be spending the day together, more time would only make me happier than I already was. And I think he feels the same... Well, I hope.
I smile at him and he walks closer, sitting at my side. I looked away, looking at nothing, my peripheral vision being my only concern.
"So, you excited for tomorrow?" he asked, a big fat smile covering an enormous part of his face.
I turned to look at him, confused.
"What do you mean? The day where it's only you and I or the return home?" I tease him, perfectly knowing the answer.
"About that, you owe me a place near the window"
"Only if you get there before me"
"That's not fair!"
"It is... It is..."
We both looked in front of us, not knowing what to say. It wasn't awkward. With the things we should've considered awkward but didn't, I think silence between us is nothing. Although, this proximity between us made my face become red when I realized it. When there isn't any conversation, it's crazy what amount of things I can realize all around me.
"What do you want to do, tomorrow?" he suddenly asks.
"The city" I immediately say. "It reminds me of Tokyo. My memories of it, I mean. Even though it's a lot smaller and beautiful, I wanna go there"
"Then, let's go there"
"Okay. Then, where do you want to go?"
"Wherever you want to go. I'll follow you everywhere. Let's spend the day in the city, walking the streets, entering the stores, going out hands full of delicious food, memorable pieces of memory, whatever makes us happy, or empty, because the shops were boring, until we have to go back. Also, let us eat dinner there. It will be a wonderful day"
I was admiring him, spitting out ideas after ideas and I didn't realize the smile I had on my face until he stopped and looked at me, surprised. But then, his face soothened and he smiled. I shook my head, looking away. I tell myself that I shouldn't have done that. For once, his expression wasn't on the verge of mocking me. His smile seemed genuine to look like mine. I ruined this moment.
"How's it going with the play?" he asked.
I turned my attention back to him.
"Good"
"Do you like it?"
"Actually, yes. It surprises even me, but I do it mostly because I want to help my friends, you know? I would never have signed myself up for this"
"If their main wasn't injured, you wouldn't be missing a lot of our practices." he said with a sad voice.
He was looking down, playing with his fingers. I rapidly turned my head toward him, worried. A sad smile slowly appeared on my face. I guess I didn't bother asking myself about Tooru's feelings. I was seeing him everyday and every Friday I was going to their practices. I never saw the problem where I thought there wasn't.
"I know. And I'm sorry. But I couldn't let the Theatre club's play be ruined because one of their main got injured. I promise I'll come to every one of your practices after the play. And I already promised you, I will be there for the Interhigh Qualifier"
"I know. It's just... I was used to you being there. So, it feels like I can't get used to you not being there"
I chuckled.
"I understand, but be patient" I say, putting a hand on his arm.
He stopped playing with his fingers and looked up at me.
"I hate waiting"
I ruffle his hair.
"Me too, but let's be patient together"
Silence came back. But stayed way less time than before.
"Y/n, why did we become friends?"
"Huh?" his question worried me.
"I mean. You hated everything about us : our company, our sport, my personality... So why?"
"Good question. Do you really expect me to answer?"
"Yes" he said, serious.
I sighed. I hated that question probably more than I ever hated the 'everything' he was talking about.
"Well, I guess I wasn't feeling good. I didn't want to get anyone involved in my story"
"No, not that part. I already know it. I want your feelings"
I sighed again.
"Friendships were rare in my life until you all came into it. In Elementary School or Middle School, I never had any luck. I only had Sao, who came to me. In High School, I started getting bullied. I was always a loner. Your approach seemed accompanied by bad intentions, as I always met them. I couldn't believe the popular guy and his friend wanted to be my friends. So I thought they were playing with me. A funny game where only them could laugh... and then maybe everyone else. But you never laughed at me in that way... you laughed at the people who wanted me harm. It was a dream to me at first. Why? you say. Because, I say, I didn't know who to believe : you, your intentions, your words or me, my heart, my mind and my soul. I didn't trust you. That's why"
My eyes were beginning to close as I was getting weaker and weaker. The next thing I knew, Tooru was taking my chin between his index and thumb, and was bringing my head so I could look at him. He had on his face a smile that showed me he understood me. Without warning me, he closed the gap between our faces and his lips found mine. My eyes, wide opened, betrayed my surprise. They slowly closed, my body too weak to fight against it. I couldn't move.
When the gap reappeared, I hoped it would close again. I kinda hoped one of us would ask the other out again, but it never happened. We were both too taken by what had happened. It felt like both of us weren't ready. That kiss was something, I guess, we both couldn't control... we both wanted. But then again, the wait is our best friend. Despite having an uncontrollable impatience, it will keep us going like this for more time. Even though I would like to hate it, I can't. But I would have liked this moment to go on longer, but I couldn't forget my tiredness... right?