One thing about Aeri was that she was insanely camera shy, which didn't play in her advantage as an idol. She didn't mind when taking her own pictures or when videos and picture were taken of her for memories but as soon as it became more serious, she didn't like it.
So when staff announced that they'd be having a photo-shoot for their first album, she didn't feel the same excitement as her teammates. And getting ready, the feeling didn't change.
As the only girl in a boy group, stylists never made her wear dresses to avoid making her stand out in the group and often gave her outfits that matched with the boys. Which also meant wearing pants.
Not to mention that the dress she was supposed to be wearing was so valuable and seemed so easy to rip apart that she had to have someone help her fit inside without damaging it.
Thankfully, the staff handed her a blanket to put over the exposed parts of her body while she was getting her hair and makeup done. Since it had taken her so long to get inside her dress, most of the boys were already done with their hair and makeup, leaving only Jungwon and Jake with her in the room.
For the time being, the two boys had been the only one to see her in her dress but they had already given her enough compliments to last a life time.
"You should wear dresses more often," told her Jungwon, only making Jake agree next to her.
"I don't know, I feel like it makes me stand out in too much when we're together," she shrugged, only throwing glances in the boys' direction, trying to not move her head too much.
"You look too good to care," answered Jake, making her and Jungwon laugh.
"Yeah but I'm also too cold not to care."
"Being cold is a social construct. It's all in your head. You need to dress more according to style, and not according to the weather."
"I'm not sure that's how it works," Jungwon shook his head lightly.
Aeri was the last one to get out of the room to do her individual photo-shoot, she could feel the anxiousness throughout her entire body. And when she shivered, she wasn't really sure if it was because of the air-con or because of her nerves.
Walking to the mark on the ground indicating where she should stand for the photos to be at the right angle, she didn't cross paths with any of the boys. But she was too busy trying to keep her calm to even wonder how they had been styled.
"Your manager told us that he showed you our inspirations for this shoot, do you think you could do something with that or do you need more directions?" asked the photographer.
"Can I have more direction, please," she shyly asked, scared of messing up her very first shoot.
"Yes, of course," he answered.
For the next hour or so, the photographer showed her different positions and told her when he wanted something as small as her index turning to the right. He also focused on making her feel more comfortable, which she eventually did. After some time, she even managed to come up with a few positions herself, feeling relieved whenever the photographer complimented her on it.
She was so focused in her work that she hadn't even noticed that one of the boys came to stare at her.
Heeseung stood at the corner of the room, staring at her from afar. He had been the first one to get his photos taken and so had been waiting to be called back in for the longest time. When he opened the door of the studio, he knew Aeri was the one to get her pictures taken, but he hadn't expected to see her looking so beautiful that he'd be forced to stop and stare.
Aeri was a very beautiful girl, he had always been aware of that. Yet, each time he saw her styled for some sort of event, he was always forced to stop whatever he was doing to look at her as if he'd be missing a world event if he didn't.
Her dress was made out of white silk and fitted tight enough to clearly see the outlines of body whilst still fitting their vampire concept by flowing down her body. The sleeves played with the transparency because of the lace and had small pearls attached alongside of them. Her neck was decorated by a pearl necklace that had a part of it painted red and had red rhinestones falling off of it, making it look like it was dripping with blood.
The outfit looked so perfect on her that Heeseung wondered if it had been made for her. If it had been destined to be worn by Aeri and Aeri only.
"I think we're done, you were great, thank you. You can call the others for the group pictures," the photographer invited her.
She quickly thanked him and stepped away from the bright studio lighting, only then noticing Heeseung. He had on a white flowy shirt that exposed a little bit of his chest in a corset manner and she could see a cross earring dangling down his left ear.
She couldn't help but be mesmerized by his newfound allure. It wasn't just his natural good looks that she often paused to admire that caught her attention this time, but the way he had been styled and made even more good-looking--if that was even possible.
Both of them paused for a second, only admiring the other, scared that if they spoke up, the moment would be broken and lost forever.
"You, uh, look nice," she spoke up after realizing that she had been shamelessly checking him out.
"So do you," he told her, using the same quiet tone as her.
"I'll go call the others for the group pictures," she said pointing to the door of the break room where she assumed they were. He nodded, and for some reason, they both stayed still.
She didn't know why she was so mesmerized by the sight of him. She had always found him beautiful—she found everyone in ENHYPEN beautiful. So she felt confused as to why his beauty had particularly hit her that day.
Finally getting out of her daze, she went to call the others, not noticing the way Heeseung's eyes stayed on her. And although she had left him to get their other members, her mind seemed to still be by his side.
As the only girl in a boy group, she was almost always getting shipped with her members, but Heeseung was probably the one she got shipped with the most out of all of them. Though she never really saw him in any other way than as a friend, for some reason, people always thought that she did.
She hadn't really seen anyone in any other way than as a friend for a while actually, but it didn't bother her. She was content with herself and didn't feel the need the be with anyone. If it happened, then great, but if it didn't, she wouldn't mind either.
For a long time, people made her feel like she absolutely needed to be with someone. Like loving someone else was the sole reason of her existence. She did actually believe them for a while. She believed them so much that when she was at her lowest, she thought getting into a relationship would fix all of her problems. She thought that if she was only 1/4 of herself, her partner would be her missing 3/4.
But it didn't work that way, and she quickly realized it after getting into a relationship. So after spending a lot of times taking care of herself--which was a hard thing to do since she had to balance her trainee life, her student life, and her mental health as well--she finally became whole.
But having people ship her with anyone and everyone felt like they didn't see her that way. They didn't see her as a whole, as a person. They saw her as a partner. To many, she was only the love interest in someone else's story.
She never really understood why they were so sure about her being in a relationship with Heeseung either. She had seen many people on Twitter making theories and finding things that weren't there anytime they interacted with each other.
Maybe it was because of the way she laughed a little harder to his jokes than anyone else's. Or maybe it was the way her face lit up whenever she looked at him and vice-versa. But it didn't have to mean anything. It's not because Heeseung was one of her favorite person on earth that she had to have feelings for him. Her siblings were also some of the people she cherished the most but she wasn't in love with them.
"Guys, it's time for our pictures together," she told her members while opening the door to the break room.
"Wah, noona, you look good," Sunghoon complimented her before she even had the chance to say anything else. She thanked him, her hand raising to mouth level in order to hide her flustered smile.
"Are you guys ready? I think the photographer's getting impatient," half-joked Heeseung who had apparently followed her. She felt his hand rest on her hip but ignored it since it was very common for them to initiate in small physical contacts like this one.
Walking back to the set, she did her best to ignore the feeling that blossomed in her chest. She knew that she was nervous but she thought that most of the anxiousness had left her body, so she was confused as to why she felt her heart miss a few beats.
Once the photographer was satisfied enough with all the pictures he took, he thanked them and they finally returned to the changing rooms. And once again, Aeri had to ask for the staff's help to take her dress off, feeling a little disappointed that she had to take off the gorgeous dress.
Getting styled was the thing she loved the most about events. She hadn't had the occasion to do it many times yet, but each time it happened, she loved it a little more. She had always been good at makeup and took pride in both her makeup style and her clothing style, but there was something about getting it professionally done that she adored so much.
She loved getting ready and she loved getting pampered, so when you mixed the two things together, she was bound to adore it. But despite how she had completely fallen in love with the outfit they had put her in, she felt much more at ease in her own clothes, thankful to have chosen a comfortable outfit that day.
Walking out of the changing rooms, she crossed paths with Heeseung and Jay, both also back in their own clothes.
"Is the van already waiting for us outside?" she asked them.
"I think so," shrugged Heeseung.
She threw a quick glance to Jay's direction to find him doing the same. And after only a second of eye contact, they both began running at full speed towards the exit, not even bothering to wait for the others.
The thing about their van was that both Aeri and Jay had a favorite seat, and it just so happened that their favorite seats were the same. So each time they were getting a ride to somewhere, a war happened between the two. Looking at them, you wouldn't believe that they were both part of the oldest members of the group because of the way they behaved around each other.
She shouted in protest when he threw his jacket her way, knowing that she was going to catch it no matter what. And because of that small trick, he reached the van faster and opened the door at the fastest speed he could, harshly pushing her away when she reached it as well. He quickly sat down and buckled his seat-belt, winning the race.
"That's not fair, you cheated," she protested whilst catching her breath.
"You're just a sore looser," he scoffed, breathing as heavily as her.
She resulted in seating between Jake and Sunghoon at the back of the van, ignoring the glances of victory Jay threw her way all throughout the ride.
A week later, their photo-shoot finally got released to the public and even though she promised herself not to look at her pictures, knowing that she'd get embarrassed, she still did. And surprisingly enough, she didn't feel an ounce of shame. She actually liked them.
She started going through every pictures, even the ones that weren't of herself, admiring each of her friends and screen shooting the ones that she thought looked best. And after going on Twitter to see ENGENE's reaction, she didn't even know what she felt so nervous about, smiling at her phone because of all of the compliments given to her by fans.
She hadn't even noticed how her eyes stopped for a few more seconds on one particular boy's pictures.