Early one morning during the springtime of her thirteenth year, Saffron Summers was awoken from a fitful sleep by an acute and intense pain in her lower abdomen, and the distantly familiar sensation of having wet the bed. Confused, Saffron peeled back the covers.
Underneath, everything was red.
Through the pain and the nausea, Saffron managed somehow to strip her bedding. She took it with her to the bathroom and dumped it, along with her pyjamas, into a bathtub full of cold water as she cleaned herself and changed into new clothes.
She opened the bathroom door to find herself face-to-face with her father, who took one look at blood-tinted bath water and frowned, the soft glow surrounding his body turning a shade of yellow.
"Let me call your mother," he said, with a single stroke of Saffron's blonde hair. "This is more her sort of problem. No, not a problem, but... She will know what to do. Leave the laundry to me."
Saffron smiled widely and nodded, before going to feed the rabbits; a task that took her much longer than it usually would. She had just finished when she heard the unmistakable sound of her mother yodelling through the letterbox.
Anthea Oregano, previously Anthea Summers, floated through the open front door, completely ignoring her ex-husband as she walked towards her daughter with open arms.
"Saffy, my petal," she said, enveloping Saffron into a tight embrace. "What a special, special day for you."
It didn't feel all that special to Saffron. Her mother released her from the hug and raised her hands to either side of her face, holding her at arm's length.
"You know what this means, don't you, my love?" she asked sincerely, the rosy glow around her deepening in colour. "You are a woman now."
"Thanks for coming over, Anthea," said Saffron's father, standing in the corner of the room. "I just didn't know what I was supposed to do or get her, other than paracetamol."
"Paracetamol? Why paracetamol?"
"Because it's supposed to hurt, isn't it?"
"Femininity is pain, Steven," Anthea told him. "Analgesics have been created by the pharmaceutical industry to numb the sensation that connects us with our inner goddess."
"Have they?"
"Yes, Steve. Everyone knows that. Now, Saffron, darling, I have a lovely ginger tea here with fennel and Angelica root. Drink that, and you'll feel divine in no time at all."
Saffron and her father followed Anthea through to the kitchen, where she poured out a cup of straw coloured liquid and handed it to Saffron.
"Thank you," said Saffron, taking the cup and drinking the tea, which tasted earthy, which was good.
"You're welcome, my flower. Now, I have some herbs and crystals that will help realign your chakras so that they can centre around your womb. That will help to awaken your feminine mystique."
"I'm sorry," Steve interjected from behind the two women - yes, Saffron was a woman now - his aura darkening from the yellow of before to a golden orange, "but maybe we should concentrate on making sure she has... well..."
"Well?"
"You know..."
"No, Steve," Saffron's mother tilted her head. "I don't know."
"Something along the lines of..." Steven sighed loudly. "Ladies'... hygiene... objects."
"Sanitary towels?" Anthea said, with a shudder. "Don't be ridiculous. She doesn't need them."
"But-"
"Those things pollute our oceans, which are intrinsically connected to the moon, which in turn has a spiritual calling to the womb. She will be better off without them. Come, Saffron. Let's go outside and meditate."
Saffron offered her father a reassuring smile as she followed her mother outside. The orange glow surrounding him was growing darker by the second, though his face showed no trace of changing emotions.
"You know, my love, we should maybe take you out to the woods. You can bathe in a stream and that will cleanse your aura," Anthea mused, wrapping one arm around her daughter's shoulders as she led her to the garden. "Wash away the remnants of your childhood cocoon so that you may truly emerge like a beautiful butterfly, ready to fly into the world on the wings of your womanhood. What do you think, dear?"
"That sounds lovely, Mummy," Saffron said. A tight wave of pain spread across her abdomen, causing her upper body to cramp and her knees to shake. "Maybe later, though. I don't really feel well enough to walk just yet."
"I'm sure you will after we finish the crystal therapy, my sunshine."
"Oh. Yes. I expect I will."
Behind them, Saffron's father cleared his throat. "Yes, Steven?" Anthea said, with a sigh.
"I just wanted to say that I am going out," Steve announced. "I'll be back in three-quarters of an hour or so."
"Yes, yes. Go."
"Are you sure you don't need-"
"Of course we don't need you here, Steve."
"I was asking Saffron, not you."
Saffron looked at her father. He didn't raise his voice, or look angry at all, but his aura had turned a bright, hot red, redder than her bedsheets had been when she woke up.
"No, daddy," she shook her head. Her poor dad looked like he needed to get some fresh air and calm down more than she needed him to stay with her. Besides, her mother was with her, and she seemed to know a lot more about this than he did. "We'll be fine. I promise."
Steven Summers gave his daughter and ex-wife a curt nod of the head, before leaving the room. Saffron heard the click of the front door and the rumble of his car engine as she and her mother went out into the garden.
After an hour of meditation, crystal therapy, and herbal oil inhalation, Saffron felt a lot calmer, but not yet divine. She was still in pain, but her mother reassured her that this was good, her body was simply attuning itself to the mystical pulls and callings of her inner goddess. That was reassuring. Saffron did want to be attuned to her inner goddess, after all.
"How do you feel now, my treasure?" Anthea asked Saffron, as they returned inside. "Would you like to go and cleanse yourself in a free-running stream, now?"
Saffron honestly couldn't say that she did. Really, she just wanted to wrap herself in a blanket and watch The Wizard of Oz. But, she didn't think that her mother - her actual mother, not Mother Earth - would deem that an appropriate activity for a new woman.
"Could we do that tomorrow, maybe?" Saffron asked. "I think my chakras need some time to adjust to their new alignment first."
Anthea paused, as if she were considering this.
"You know, you are absolutely right. Very silly of me to forget. You know, I think your woman's instinct must be kicking in already. Aren't you clever?"
Back inside, Saffron's father was sitting on the sofa with his head in his hands, a reusable shopping bag at his feet. His aura had dimmed slightly. It was still red, but a softer sort of red, like the sunset the night before a glorious morning.
"Well, I shall see you just before dawn tomorrow," Anthea told Saffron. "That way, the sun can rise on this new phase in your life."
"That sounds just wonderful, Mummy."
Saffron and her mother kissed goodbye, and Anthea left the house with a jangle of bracelets and a waft of patchouli. Steve looked out of the window to make sure she was out of eyesight and earshot before he turned to his daughter.
"So, I went to the shop," he told her.
"Oh. That's nice."
"The girl at the counter was very helpful. I explained your, er... situation, and she picked out some pad things for you."
"But what about the ocean?"
"I asked about the ocean, and the girl said that there were other things you could try, but these would be best for today. They're made from recycled materials. I checked."
Saffron considered for a moment. Surely, if they were recycled, then that couldn't upset the eternal equilibrium of the moon and tides too much. So, she nodded.
"There's also paracetamol."
"But Mummy said-"
"I know what your mum said," Steve sighed, and his aura flashed once more. "But, at the end of the day, she isn't always right. I'm not going to make you take them, but I am not going to sit here and watch you pull that face every five minutes without offering you anything to make it stop hurting."
Saffron tilted her head. Her belly did hurt quite a lot. So did her back. And her hips. And her head. Would it really be that bad if she took some painkillers, just this once?
"The girl also said to give you this," Steve held up a tub of chocolate-flavoured soya ice cream. "And this."
He stood up, and hugged Saffron, placing a kiss on the top of her yellow-haired head. Saffron returned the hug, feeling better than she had all day.
"I thought that I could get two spoons," Steve told her, murmuring the words into the top of her crown, "and a blanket, and we could sit in here and watch The Wizard of Oz together. How does that sound?"
Saffron giggled and looked up at her dad.
"That sounds divine," she told him.