At first, I wasn't so sure if I'd heard his confession correctly, mostly because of how incredible his lips had felt on mine. But as I looked into his eyes, I saw all the fear and anticipation that had built up just to release from within him.
Once we've both come to realize what just happened, that's when a mutual wash of clarity had visibly overtaken us.
Oh no.
This is gonna change everything now, isn't it?
It's all my fault.
He's for sure gonna think I'm some fucking creep now.
"Well, that was..." Leone nervously mumbled out with his face red and his lips so beautifully plush.
Without hesitation, I threw him a frantic look that expressed my fear at him thinking so differently of me now. I know that must've taken a lot for him to say, and the last thing I wanted to do was make it all about me by kissing him. God, I kissed him. I kissed him, and I wished that I could do it over and over again.
"I'm sorry." My voice full of soft-spoken sincerity. "I don't know why I did that. I really just meant to thank you for even trusting me enough to tell me your secret, but then... you looked so..." The courage it took for him to break the silence to reveal his true self was nothing short of inspiring, but I couldn't help but wonder if I was able to do the same.
Don't get me wrong, being gay is one thing, and I'm glad that Leone deemed me worthy enough to confide that secret in me; however, being a blood-sucking monster who isn't as sure about his own sexuality is another. Surely it's gonna take more than words and facial expressions to come to a conclusion about all of it, but with a kiss added into the mix, suddenly I felt a bit closer to solving the puzzle that was my emotions.
"It's okay, I-I liked it," Leone looked up at me with his bulbous eyes and their adorable sheen. "I just hope you didn't do that because you felt bad for me." After a small, broken murmur, he shyly looked away.
I brushed a finger beneath his chin and lifted it up, meeting his gaze directly with mine. "No! No, no, of course not! Let's just—we should just forget that even happened." I whispered as I held him close, unable to stop myself from looking deep into his eyes as his face turned into a shade of bright red. "I'm sorry, Leone."
"B-But what if I wanna do it again?" Leone slowly suggested as his delicate features resembled those of an innocent yet abandoned puppy, fragile and full of wavering trust that I surely didn't mind working hard to earn.
"Then you do just what I did." I couldn't help but smile like an idiot at what he just said. I could have died right there. "Kiss me." I tucked a honeycomb strand behind his ear before bringing both of my hands against his waist.
Leone brought his arms around my neck before getting up on his tiptoes to kiss me. Of course, kissing him back suddenly became the only thing in the world that made sense, so I did it until I ran out of breath. I no longer even knew whose lips and tongue were whose, but I didn't mind; I figured as long as it was him conducting my blurry train of thoughts, I would willingly ride it till the wheels fell off.
I grew undoubtedly protective of him, wanting to shield him from anything that might cause him harm or discomfort, especially the kind that could be caused by myself. I knew it was reckless at the moment to forget about my urges and just how being this close, tasting him could potentially cause me to do unimaginable harm to him, but at the moment I couldn't think straight. All that mattered right now is that I was kissing Leone Frasier.
After mutually breaking away from our passionate kiss, we eventually left the shower to dry ourselves. Without speaking, Leone handed me a new toothbrush, and we proceeded to brush our teeth together. A silent, synchronized rhythm enveloped us. Without uttering a word, Leone happily applied toothpaste to my brush. We patiently waited to spit after the other had finished, exchanging amused glances in the mirror at our seamless coordination. The routine only deviated when he broke the pattern, getting up on his toes to affectionately kiss my cheek, intentionally leaving toothpaste marks on my fresh face. In retaliation, I playfully spat water at him, inadvertently dribbling down my shirt. Laughter filled the room, and amid the joy, I found myself captivated by his infectious smile, wondering how it would be for us to just run away and live somewhere far together.
His hair when wet is a lot longer than I realized. It's just an enormous abundance of untamed shaggy hair that hugged around his whole face. it makes him look fragile, cuter, and more vulnerable. I eventually took his towel and rolled him up like a burrito, guiding him back into his room with his arm holding onto mine with subtle shivers. His small stature made it seem as though he could easily be swept away by the slightest gust of wind. He looks tired but seems content and happy with my presence nonetheless.
"I love your hair." We hopped into his bed after getting dressed, burying ourselves beneath the thick white duvets as our bodies and limbs intertwined with each other in search of warmth.
"Really?" His gaze glimmered at that as I nodded. "Father tells me it makes me look like a girl." He solemnly added, his voice barely rising up above the gentle rain patting outside his window.
"Your dad is a piece of shit." I blurted out, making him gasp innocently as he plastered his small hand right over my mouth in an attempt to muzzle me, but I shook it off with a lion-like growl. "Yeah I know he's your dad or whatever, but the guy has some serious issues. I can't stand the way he treats you-it pisses me off."
"He's just been through a lot." Leone sighed as he nuzzled right into the crook of my neck. "And besides I-I don't blame him. If I wasn't such a disappointment then maybe he'd be happier, maybe he'd love me more, m-maybe my mother would still be here."
"Hey, that's not true." I looked down at him with wrinkled brows, tenderly whispering right into him as I made sure my arms were securely wrapped around his body. "His love for you should be unconditional no matter what. You shouldn't have to put yourself down or blame yourself for things that you can't control, it's his job to love you no matter what, you hear me?"
Leone's head slowly pointed downwards in deep thought. "I-I wish he did."
"Listen, he's an asshole alright? Don't let how he treats you diminish the love you have for yourself." I brought two fingers right below his chin in attempts to keep his troubling thoughts from making it drop, lifting it up ever so slightly to make him look at me directly. "You deserve love, and how your dad treats you isn't that."
"Things weren't always this bad. My life before losing my mother wasn't perfect, but it was definitely way better than this." His button nose sniffed to the side. "She was my everything."
"You must miss her a lot." I gently placed my hand right over his shaking one as I gave him all of my undivided attention.
"I do, very much, she taught me all that I know, she's my everything." He brokenly whispered out without any reluctance. "I remember she'd always have to hide me inside a cabinet or a closet whenever my father came home all drunk and angry. I hid in the darkness every night as I had to watch him beat her." Leone's head dropped as I could hear his heart physically tearing apart from all the traumatic memories.
"Leone-" I was completely speechless at how horrifying it must've been for him to have to witness that.
"Why did I have to be the one that was spared?" He sobbed as I immediately took him deeply right into my arms and chest, barely succeeding in softening out his cries. "It's all my fault that she's gone."
"Hey, stop it, stop blaming yourself." I spoke out as I looked down to make him face me. "It's not your fault, okay?"
As he stared at me, he was completely devastated, and I was unable to soothe him. "No, It's all my fault Dydan! She's gone because of me."
"Listen to me." I had no other choice but to envelop his cheeks right against the palm of my hand with a shaky grip. "Don't blame yourself. The truth of the matter is that you loved her, and she loved you. Nothing you did caused what happened to happen, and I'm sure she knows that you would've done all that you could to change things if you had the chance."
"I-I would." Leone breathlessly spoke. "I really would."
"So then just focus on the facts." I wiped all his tears away and returned my hand right back over his. "I don't doubt that you were one of the most important people in her life, as she was yours, and her love for you and her desire to protect you was all that mattered to her. There's no way she would blame you for what happened that night, and I'm sure she'd hate to see you blame yourself."
"You're probably right." Leone tried his best to regain his composure. "I'm sorry you had to see me get all emotional and annoying and stuff."
"No need to apologize. I'm here for you no matter what." I clicked my mouth and threw him a smile. "I'm like a cockroach, even a nuke won't keep me away from infesting all over you." I humorously teased.
Leone let's out his signature light and airy fairy laugh that unleashes a maelstrom of butterflies in my stomach. "How is it that you always know how to make me feel better?" He asks in a sweet tender voice, his legs intertwining completely with mine.
"Do I?" I asked, amused.
"Mhm." He adorably chirped without hesitation.
I quickly shot my gaze up to his roof to playfully mimic myself melodramatically pondering. "You know how else I could make you feel better?"
"How?" Leone curiously breathed out.
"Hmmm-" With a sudden burst of energy, I leapt out of bed and pounced right on top of him with a mischievous grin. "Like this!" My fingers proceeded to mercilessly dance across his body, tickling every inch of him as he wriggled and squirmed beneath me in joyful laughs and whimpers.
"No! Ah! Dydan-stop, stop!" His laughter filled the room, echoing off the walls as it only fueled my tickling frenzy, and I couldn't help but feel a sense of satisfaction at the sound of his unrestrained delight and happiness. "I'm gonna pee!" He attempted to push his hands against my face and body in defense, but I was unfortunately way too strong to the point that I had to voluntarily tone it down to make him feel like he was doing something.
When I finally relented, the small boy laid there panting with faint laughs as a huge grin was plastered across my face. "Do you think you'll be able to aim it directly into my mouth?" I teased.
"Ew, what the heck!?" We both bursted right into a fit of conflicted laughter. "You're gross."
All our humorous commotion eventually dwindled down, leaving us to simply cherish each other's presence in peaceful silence. It was a sweet companionable silence, the kind that was filled with warm and stomach-fluttering exchanges made through our looks and smiles.
"Do you wanna smash?" I asked out in an endearing tone as Leone's face immediately fell in shock.
"S-Smash?" His voice cracked as I excitedly nodded. "Did you just say smash?"
"Yup!" I amended.
"A-Are you sure?" He nervously gulped.
"Yeah, I mean why not?" I nonchalantly shrugged, curious as to why my question made him so nervous all of a sudden. "Everything we need to be able to do it is just in my room, I could go and grab it all real quick?"
A shaky exhale left his strawberry painted lips as he gulped. "Okay, if that's what you w-want." I jolted rapidly up out of his bed to shoot myself right out of his window, landing momentarily in my room to gather up my gaming console, and returning at the boy staring at me in complete awe. "Wait-h-how did you jump so-"
"Alright!" I placed my console down on his bed and powered it on right past his shocked facial expressions. "So at first the game might seem a little difficult at first, but all it takes is just a little practice."
"Wait what?" His confusion failed to dissipate. "I thought you wanted to s-smash?"
"I do!" I threw him a momentary glance before pointing at the bright animated logo. "Can't you see Super Smash Bros right there?" I chuckled out at him innocently leaning in closer beside me to observe the screen.
Leone's large wondrous eyes immediately flickered with realization. "Oh." He let out a breath of relief. "It's a video game." He sheepishly smiled.
"Well yeah? What else did you think it was?" I lightly smiled and gave him his own controller.
"It's just that I recently sat down with a group of people at school, and they used it in a different context-is all.." I slowly started, my voice further dying down in growing embarrassment.
"Well, as much as smashing you in that context sounds fun, I'm afraid I already got us through the main menu, so I guess I'll have to smash you in this context first." I devilishly winked, smelling the blood shoot up all throughout his entire body and watching it adorably flush his cheeks red. "So listen, there are no rules, okay? We pick whoever we want first, and then we pick the map. After we do all of that, we fight to the death!" I ran my hand through my rain-dampened hair before keenly focusing on the screen.
"W-Wow okay, cool." My energy and excitement seemed to adorably translate over to Leone now as he tucked all of his hair right behind his ear. "I've never played a video game in my life before."
"Seriously?" I asked with furrowed brows as I chose to play one of my favorite characters which was Wolf. "Not even one?"
"No, I'm afraid not." He admittedly whispered out in shame. "I-Ive never really been allowed to have things. My sketchbook was the only thing I ever had for fun, b-but you already know what happened to that." He solemnly sighed as he chose to play Kirby.
"Well then I'll just leave this here!" I shrugged as his eyes and mouth dropped down appreciatively. "From now on you can play with my switch as much as you want! I think I might even have a drawing and coloring game you might like on here."
"Oh no." Leone's face contorted to express his outwardly undying mortification. "You don't have to do that, t-this is your switch." He muttered, shaking his head.
"Nonsense, it's our switch now." I rolled my eyes and waved off his protest. "Now do the honors and pick us a map so I can beat you up already."
Leone blinked out of his adorable shock like a tiny kitten before playfully scoffing. "Okay." He immediately nodded, obliging towards my devilishly delivered challenge.
It didn't take long for me to beat his ass round after round, character after character.
After awhile I instantly noticed him starting to feel off and discouraged with his unconsciously pouted lip and drooping gaze. He said nothing as I figured losing that many times is surely not great for anyone's ego. I know it certainly wouldn't be great for mine. The truth is I hate losing, it's difficult for me. There was no other feeling like the feeling of winning, but there were also no other feeling than seeing Leone happy.
So I did what I had to do.
I started losing.
"Come on, come on!" His soft delicate voice spoke out in growing anticipation as he chased right after me in every platform.
"No! Stop-please!" I acted as if I wasn't totally letting him get some free hits in, leaving my health bar dwindling down right before my very eyes. "Stop spamming the same attack!" In addition to my award-winning performance to make sure my plans of letting him win wasn't so obvious, I spent my remaining health bar either running around or defending myself with pathetically weak moves.
Eventually I let myself fall victim to Leone's powerful blow, securing him his first victory. "Oh my-oh my god! I beat you!" He immediately cried out in joy as I fought the urge to show him how happy I was to see him happy.
"Yeah whatever, you just got lucky." I dryly let out as I sneakily side-eyed him, secretly admiring his adorable cheer that involved his two small hands waving up into the air as he flashed me his sweet innocent smile. "Don't get too excited, it's just this once and then you'll be back to yet another losing streak once again." I lied as seeing his smile was completely worth it.
After a couple of hours of playing with him, darkness eventually crept in from the outside world. Illumination came only from the flickering of the screen, scattering it's flashy hues all around his room as his cold and lonesome house were filled by the loud noises of our laughter and our playful bickering.
It was until the loud sound of his front door being aggressively closed shut that made all the fun die down. We frantically caught each other's gaze, waiting in silence as we were both unsure of what was about to happen.
"It's father." Leone's face immediately scattered out of fear. "He's home." He immediately got up out of bed and scampered towards his door, desperately locking it as a series of pounding footsteps began to make its way towards us.
"Leone!" His dad's messily drunken voice slurred and boomed through the hallway, getting closer and closer before eventually meeting Leone's door with his unbridled rampage. "Where are-um, where are you boy!?" His dad shouted and began to pound his fists on the door, making Leone flinch with every hateful impact.
Leone let out a fearful squeak as the door shook under the force of his father's pounding. "Come here!" I loudly whispered as I followed right after him, gently wrapping my fingers around his wrists. I took him in for a comforting hug in attempts to silence the barrage of his dad's cruel yelling, insults, and ongoing violent outbursts with my chest and arms. "It's okay, I'm here."
"I'm scared Dydan." His tiny voice shook out as I slowly lead him right back into bed with him hands clinging onto my arm as if it were the only thing keeping him tethered to the floor beneath us.
"Shh, I know, it's okay." I whispered to him as I guided him underneath all the thick white duvets. "There's no need to be scared Leone, I'm here." I reassured all throughout the endless chaos ensuing in the background.
"B-But he might break down the door." He nervously mumbled with a fearful tone in his voice, feverishly rubbing his small nimble self right against me.
"Then I'll break his face." He's so precious that hearing him and looking at him at the same time makes me feel so weak.
Leone's lips proceed to wobble along with his eyes that were now brimming with shedding tears. "Stop it father." He desperately whispered to himself as I felt his body uncontrollably flinch and tense up at all the noise his father was causing. "Please, just stop."
Leone's trembling body and uncontrollable sobs shattered my heart. His fear for his dad was palpable and it was a gut-wrenching moment that will forever be etched in my memory. I couldn't help but wish I had met Leone sooner, perhaps I could have shielded him from all the horrors and abuse that he's had to endure for so long.
I can only imagine the countless sleepless nights, the bruises, the scars, and the shattered sense of trust and identity this poor little soul has had to go through. "Shh don't cry, it's okay." I tenderly cooed as I wrapped my arms around him, securing him enough in attempts to muffle out all the noises that struck nothing but fear in him. "I won't ever let anything hurt you, Leone." I gently caressed my fingers right against his soft honey-hued curls, peppering his forehead with gentle kisses.
"Dydan?" The sweet boy melts further into me, nuzzling his nose and lips right against my neck as he shyly whispered right past his fearful cries. "P-Please don't leave me." He begged out in a weak, feeble voice.
"Never." I deeply vowed without any hesitation. "I'll always be here, always and forever." I whispered out to him a thousand times, slowly cradling and rocking him to sleep.
I instilled an oath within myself to relentlessly protect him from ever getting hurt by all the rage and hate that not only emitted from behind his door, but from the whole world as well.
Hi uuu guysss, I just wanna personally thank you all for your votes and comments. It's so greatly appreciated and it truly helps a lot!
Now I do wanna apologize for the inconsistent updating schedule regarding this book. It's been hectic in my life lately and this book can be quite tolling to write sometimes due to how closely I relate with Leone.
But the good news is that every time I update it's going to be two chapters no matter what! I think it just personally helps me keep the ongoing story feel much more smoother to write till the end!
See you in the next chapter. :)