[005]
- ☾ '☂︎︎' ☽ -
One of the first things Number Five did when he got to his feet was head straight to the kitchen and beeline to the pantry. The others followed him, filled with confusion and overwhelming concern.
Luther cleared his throat awkwardly, "What are you doing?"
Number Five opened the pantry door, "Making a sandwich. Do you know how long it's been since I've eaten solid food?"
Luther slammed the door shut, now looking furious that his long lost brother's main concern was making a sandwich. He'd been gone for years, Luther felt everyone deserved an explanation, however far fetched it may be.
Number Five glanced up, annoyed. "You look ridiculous, by the way."
He opened the pantry door once more, throwing bread and a bag of marshmallows onto the table. Completely ignoring when Klaus sat cross legged on the table and started eating from the marshmallow bag.
"What's the date? The exact date?" he asked.
Allison was the first to answer, "The twenty-fourth."
"Of what?"
"March, 2019."
"Good."
Luther was absolutely baffled at what was happening, but also upset that he was being disregarded. "So are we going to talk about what just happened?"
Five said nothing and opened the bread bag.
"It's been eighteen years," Luther said, standing in front of Five.
"It's been a lot longer than that," Five stated, then disappeared, reappearing behind him to grab a jar of peanut butter from the cabinet.
"I haven't missed that," Luther muttered.
"Where'd you go?" asked Diego.
"The future, it's terrible, by the way." Five answered.
"Called it!" Klaus shouted.
"I should've listened to the old man. You know, jumping through space is one thing, jumping through time is a toss of the dice," he paused for a moment. "Nice dress." He nodded at Klaus.
"Danke!"
"Then how did you get back?" Allison asked, crossing her arms.
Five had started slathering his bread with peanut butter. "In the end, I had to project my consciousness forward into a suspended quantum state version of myself that exists in every possible instance of time."
"That makes no sense," Diego said.
"Well, it would if you were smarter."
Luther grabbed Diego as he lunged across the counter.
"How long were you there?" asked Diego, regaining his composure.
"Ahh . . . .," Five thought for a moment. "Forty-two years. Give or take," he said, then grabbed the marshmallow bag from Klaus.
Klaus began to count on his hands, huffing like a child when he ran out of fingers. He took his shoes off and counted his toes. Diego gaped at Five, having done the math.
"He's fifty-five," a sudden voice behind Klaus said.
Klaus nearly fell off the counter as Cassidy materialized behind him. She pushed him up straight and leaned against the wall, crossing her arms.
"Would you stop doing that?" hissed Klaus.
Cassidy smiled wryly.
Five, who was in the middle of dotting his bread with marshmallows, froze. He looked almost surprised, eyes traveling from her baggy clothes to her now youthful face. Blinking, he glanced at the food in his hand.
"Ha, boomer," Klaus laughed, pointing at his small brother.
Snapping out of his stupor, Five sounded irritated,"No, my consciousness is fifty-five. Apparently my body is thirteen again."
"Wait, how does that even work?" Vanya inquired.
She was ignored as Five continued, "Delores kept saying my equations were off," he took a bite of his sandwich. "Bet she's laughing now."
"Delores?" questioned Vanya.
Yet again she was ignored. Five grabbed a newspaper off the table that displayed Reginald Hargreeves on the cover.
"Guess I missed the funeral," he muttered.
"How'd you know about that?" Diego asked suspiciously.
"What part of the future do you not understand?" Five glanced at the magazine once more. "Heart failure?"
Luther, who had looked uncomfortable at his now thirteen year old sister (who everyone was oddly choosing to ignore) now snapped to attention.
"Yeah."
"No."
Both Diego and Luther answered simultaneously. Diego looked at Luther with a confused expression. He thought they had already established the fact that Reginald died normally, and no further detective action was necessary.
"I was under the impression that we weren't going to be accusing people of patricide?" Cassidy said, raising an eyebrow in Luther's direction.
"Nice to see nothing's changed," said Five, clicking his tongue and rolling his eyes. Then he strolled out of the room, still gnawing on his sandwich.
"That's it? That's all you have to say?" called Allison.
"Nothing else to say. It's the circle of life," Five answered.
"Hey, we're not done here! Why's Cass now a kid?" Luther exclaimed. "Number Five?"
Ignoring him, Five climbed the stairs and disappeared. Luther glanced around the room helplessly, while the others looked just as confused. Except for Klaus. He chewed happily on the remains of the marshmallows.
"Well . . . that was interesting," Luther said quietly.
——————— ༻ ☂︎︎ ༺ ———————
After searching various rooms of the mansion, Vanya finally found Five. He was standing in his old bedroom, staring at his old toys and books in a forlorn type of way. He'd changed out of his previous clothes and into one of his old uniforms. She knocked on the wall.
"Nice to know Dad didn't forget me," Five said.
Vanya walked behind him, and wrapped her arms around him. He pulled away quickly, flinching angrily.
"What are you doing?"
"It's called a hug," she said, surprised.
"Hug — right," he looked at the floor. "I may have reacted . . . poorly. Side effect of forty-two years without any physical contact."
"What do you mean?"
Five gazed at her for a moment as he struggled with an internal decision. But he chose not to answer, and instead diverted the conversation.
"I read your book, by the way. Found it in a library that was still standing. I thought it was pretty good, all things considered. Definitely ballsy: giving up the family secrets – I'm sure that went over well."
There was a moment's pause in which Vanya looked at the floor, filled with guilt. "They hate me," she said.
"Oh, there are worse things that could happen," he said.
"You mean like what happened to Ben?"
There was a moment of silence, in which Five looked at the ground. "Was it bad?" he asked.
Vanya pressed her lips into a thin line and
nodded.
Five sighed and began to look around the room."How is she — Cassandra?"
"Cassidy, she likes being called Cassidy."
Something flashed in Five's eyes.
"But she's better than the rest of us, that's for sure. She's an archaeologist now. Even invited me to spend a week in Egypt with her — here. . . ." Vanya pulled out her wallet and extracted a folded picture. On the front, both grinning in the blazing sun, was Vanya in a large sun hat and Cassidy, one arm wrapped around her sister's shoulder while the other shielded her eyes. She was considerably taller than Vanya.
"I didn't write much about her . . . in the book. But I still thought she'd be upset, like everyone else." Vayna smiled, "She didn't care."
The corners of Five's mouth flicked upward in a faint grin, but disappeared as Vanya asked another question.
"Are you going to come?" she asked.
"To what?"
"The funeral?"
Five nodded slowly. "Wouldn't miss a chance to say goodbye to 'dear old Dad,' now would I?"