Why was I doing this again?
Picking up my drink, I took a healthy sip. The hot cot coffee burned its path down my throat. I winced and coughed into the crook of my arm.
Bloody hell, it was painful - and not just my throat.
My eyes lifted to the door of the small village coffee shop and then down to my phone.
He was late.
Twenty minutes bloody late.
Why had I thought dating apps were the solution to my life's problems? I didn't need to worry about anyone else. I had enough on my bloody plate without adding in someone else to demand my attention.
Did I really need to a prove a point to people that didn't even care about what I did with my life. Richie wasn't even looking. He would never know if I walked out on a date before going on it.
I sighed and my shoulders dropped.
The sad truth was I needed this. I needed it for the ego boost as much as I needed proof for the world that the drunken and terrible attempt at kissing Richie had been just a terrible mistake. Not that anyone else knew. Not that anyone else cared.
Perhaps I needed to prove it to myself too.
Don't be stupid, Rosie. You just want attention.
That was likely the truth if it. After all, it had felt good to be complimented by a stranger online. It had felt good to have someone say the right things. It had felt good to fall into the fantasy. It was an escape that I had jumped into with both feet.
But this was reality. A reality that liked to give me a kick up the arse more often than I wanted to admit. I should go. Go home and wallow before I made an even bigger fool of myself that I already had.
The young barista offered me a pitying smile. It was clear she knew what I hadn't wanted to accept.
I had been stood up.
My first attempt at dating and I had been left high and dry.
Bracing my hands on the table top, I started to rise before an oh-so-familiar voice called out to me.
Wincing, I drew in a slow breath. Why? Why me?
Then, as I released it, I straightened and turned towards Richie.
It was strange to see him outside of the workplace. After years of working in the same place and never bumping into a single co-worker outside of hours, the universe surely had to be conspiring against me. After all, why else would he be at the same coffee shop at the exact same time? Why would he be here now?
"I thought it was you." He said by way of a greeting, leaning forwards to give me an awkward half hug with the table between us.
And it was awkward. The last time we had been this close, I had been trying to kiss him. He had been turning me down.
My cheeks heated as, unable to stop myself, I held my arms out to my sides and replied lamely, "It's me."
It was only with a ridiculous amount of self-control that I held back the wince as the faux perkiness in my voice. My arms dropped back to my sides abruptly
"What are you doing on this side of town? I've never seen you in here before." Richie asked, seemingly unaware of my desire to be anywhere but with him.
He waved at one of the baristas as they walked past. Her smile in return was filled with warmth. Of course it was. Everyone liked Richie. I would never tell him but even I liked Richie.
I ducked my head, my shoulders rising to my ears as if I could somehow disappear into the fabric of my checked shirt. Or just disappear completely. Could this get any more awkward?
After all, he was the reason I was here. It was because of him that I had finally renewed my phone plan and downloaded the dating apps in the first place.
My mouth however had a mind of its own. "Do you own this side of town? I didn't get the memo."
Would you just shut up, Rosie?
Instead of being offended, he chuckled. His head tilting back as he laughed. I ignored the warmth that rushed through me at the sound. I had done that. I had made him laugh. It had been a long time since I had made someone laugh like that.
"I didn't know you had it in you." He teased.
Unaware of my inner turmoil, his blue eyes twinkled in a way that could make a weaker willed woman swoon. My knees locked unconsciously, holding me steady under the full force of the full force of the smile that followed.
"Thank you, I guess." I replied before allowing silence to fall between us.
"Did you want to join us for a coffee?" Richie asked, pointing to a table on the far side where a beautiful woman sat waiting.
My mouth ran dry. My stomach churned and my cheeks grew warm. Of course he had a girlfriend. Why would he not?
The blush quickly drained away. God, did she know I had attempted to kiss her boyfriend?
A part of me hoped he hadn't kept the truth from her and the other part hoped he kept it a secret until his dying breath. I could live without the shame of anyone else knowing what an absolute idiot I had been.
"No, I can't. I'm actually meeting someone." I replied, glad to have a genuine excuse for once.
The expression on Richie's face almost felled me. Pity. He thought I was lying. It was written all over his face. And why wouldn't he believe that? It's not as if I had ever been forthcoming about my life outside of work. It's not as if I had much of a life outside of work at all.
He knew it. They all knew it.
Still, before I could say anything further and put my metaphorical foot in my mouth, the door to the café opened once more with a hearty jingle.
As a man stepped through, his t-shirt pulling tight over his muscular frame, I was both relieved to have my proof and disappointed.
The man glanced around, allowing me to take in everything about him. Shit.
My fingers clenched around my phone.
I didn't think people really did it. At least not to this extent. Clearly my date's photos were a little out of date. At least fifteen years out of date.
"My uh – friend – is here so I should go." I said, with more cheer than I felt. Sure, my date was in shape but there was no way he was my age.
Richie followed my gaze and raised his brows. If he had any opinions on my date, he didn't say them. Instead, he just turned back to me and offered a false smile. "No problem. If you change your mind, we're just over there."
I nodded my head and offered a smile. "Thanks for the offer."
My date was hovering just behind Richie now. He had to be in his late forties or early fifties. Definitely not thirty three like his profile described.
As he stepped around the younger man, it was clear he had lied about more than his age on his profile. Five foot eight? As if.
The entire situation would have been funny if Richie wasn't there, right by my side, and ready to witness my utter humiliation.
"Rosie?" My date asked, leaning forwards to brush a kiss against my cheek before I could respond.
The sudden invasion on my space had me backing up a step. I almost said no. I almost took Richie up on his offer of an escape. Almost.
But, it was because of him that I was even here. Anything to make work next week less awkward.
I also couldn't sit opposite his girlfriend knowing I had tried to kiss him - drunk or otherwise. It was an entire level of third wheeling I was not prepared to do.
"Shall we sit?" I said to my date before glancing up at Richie. "It was good catching up. I'll see you next week?"
His eyes darted between me and my date. He opened his mouth. Closed it. Then, after a moment, he gave only a nod. I took a seat, aware of his eyes lingering on me.
Yet, I didn't look at him again. Instead, I turned to face what was sure to be the most awkward date of my entire existence. What the hell have I done?