"So, we have a little schedule change," Marta announced at the end of training. "Our game against the Reign has been switched with our game against the Thorns, so we're going to Portland this weekend and Seattle the following week."
Lisa leaned back and felt her head smack against the side of her locker. She wasn't ready. She'd been trying to be ready for this, but she wasn't ready. She wasn't ready to be in the guest locker room at the stadium she'd called home for seven years. She wasn't ready to see the fans cheering for a team she was no longer on.
She shoved her cleats into her bag and pulled on her slides, not bothering to change out of her practice gear before she stood up from her seat and moved out of the room in the hopes of getting to her car and back to her apartment before she completely lost it with emotion and nerves and anxiety.
But as she turned the corner, where Jennie and Phoebe were chatting, she realized she wouldn't be getting to her car unseen.
Phoebe saw her first, her face lighting up. "Lisa! Perfect timing!"
At the mention of the player's name, Jennie turned around and saw the blonde in her practice gear, and felt a smile make its way onto her face.
"Perfect timing for what?" Lisa asked, feeling her chest tighten with rising anxiety.
"We think goal songs specific to each player would really appeal to our fan base, the Snow Shoers," Phoebe explained.
"That's what they're called?" Lis shook her head.
"Name pending," Jennie offered with an affectionate eye roll.
"Goal songs sound great. Nice job. That's why they pay you guys the big bucks," Lisa mumbled, trying to sidestep the conversation.
Jennie felt her brow furrow at the tone in her voice. "Phoebe, we'll continue this in my office. I'll be right behind you."
Phoebe nodded and scampered off, leaving them alone in the hallway.
"Is everything all right?" Jennie asked, lifting a hand as if to reach out and touch Lisa's arm before realizing what she was doing and slowly lowering her hand back down.
"Yep, I'm good," Lisa nodded, pulling her water bottle to her lips and taking a long sip in hopes of dislodging the lump in her throat.
"I thought we were past you bullshitting me," Jennie replied softly, concern making her green eyes darken in color just a bit.
"I'm not. I'm just- I need to go home and get ready for the travel weekend," Lisa murmured, adjusting her bag on her shoulder to keep busy.
"Seattle should be lovely this time of year," Jennie nodded, still not entirely convinced by the charade Lisa was putting on.
"It isn't Seattle. Schedule change. I think Marta's still here if you need to ask her about it," the player forced out.
"I wasn't made aware of this. Where are we going?" Jennie asked.
"Portland. I gotta go," Lisa croaked, moving down the hallway toward the door that led to the parking lot.
Jennie felt her stomach drop at the revelation, turning to watch Lisa leave with a heavy heart and a worry lodged deep in her chest.
—
Lisa's leg was bouncing up and down incessantly. She hadn't been able to stop it all morning. She was wired and anxious and so incredibly uncomfortable because she knew that seeing her city, her home, was going to make her chest ache more than it had in a long time.
Jennie slid into the seat next to Lisa, holding a small, paper box in her hands. She noticed the tension in her frame and the anxiety rolling off of her, and she just hoped she'd be able to help in some small way.
"You were right about the joggers. I can't travel in anything else now," Jennie hummed, buckling her seatbelt.
"Sorry," Lisa murmured, trying to give Jennie a small smile.
"Don't be. I'm the one who's sorry for not returning your joggers yet. Irene said my pair is on backorder," Jennie replied softly.
"You can keep mine," Lisa said, glancing at her number on Jennie's right leg.
Jennie cleared her throat and held out the small box. "It's a victory in my book that you even got on the plane, considering this isn't going to be an easy trip. So, here," she hummed, waiting for Lisa to take the box from her.
"Marta will kill me if I eat this," Lisa mumbled, a tiny smile finally slipping onto her face as she looked down at the chocolate cupcake with bright yellow icing.
"You'll run it off," Jennie shrugged, feeling that tiny, genuine smile hit her right in the heart.
"I'll tell her the owner insisted," Lisa teased weakly.
"I do insist. I just want to make this trip as painless as possible for you," Jennie said with an empathetic half-smile.
"It's good," Lisa garbled with a bite of cupcake in her mouth. She slid lower in her seat when she saw Marta stand up to get something out of her bag in the overhead compartment.
Jennie chuckled and playfully lowered in her seat as well, keeping her eyes on Lisa. When she noticed the bit of yellow icing on the tip of her nose, she cleared her throat and then reached out to wipe it off. She used a napkin to get the icing off of her finger instead of doing something foolish like lick it off of her thumb.
"Sorry, you just had some... evidence of the taboo cupcake on you," Jennie murmured quietly.
"You want a bite?" Lisa asked, holding out the cupcake.
"It's all yours."
"It's the yellow color isn't it?" Lisa chuckled.
"It's the fact that you haven't bounced your leg once since I gave it to you, actually," Jennie replied with a small shake of her head.
"What's your reward?" Lisa asked, having been thinking about that frequently since shooting practice with Jennie.
"You're not getting it that easily," Jennie said, chuckling lightly.
"What if I do this?" Lisa asked, starting to bounce her leg again, this time by choice.
Jennie reached out and stilled her leg. "I'll tell you some other time," she said softly, retracting her touch quickly. She reached into her bag and pulled out her iPad. "Let's watch Miracle. I downloaded it onto my iPad thinking you'd need a nice inspirational distraction."
"Thank you," Lisa sighed, leaning a little closer to Jennie in preparation for the movie.
—
Whatever tenuous calm Jennie had managed to wrangle out of Lisa on the flight to Portland was all but gone now.
As she watched from a box in Providence Park, her chunky sunglasses covering her eyes, Jennie realized this match was just going to go from bad to worse.
Lisa had started the game heated. She'd been repeatedly booed and jeered by the Portland fans, most of them convinced she'd left them of her own volition. It made Jennie's skin crawl to hear some of the chants directed her way, and she knew Lisa heard them too.
She'd watched Lisa from the moment the whistle blew, and she'd seen her go from heated and intense, to downright volatile. She was sitting on a yellow card after a fair tackle which the referee unfairly punished, and it was just a matter of time.
Right now, the game was tied 1-1, thanks to a beautiful chipped shot Lisa took from half field, and the tension on the field was nearing a boiling point.
Jennie leaned against the railing, too anxious to sit, her eyes trained on her team's white away jerseys, tracking number eight's movements around the field.
And then Jennie saw Lisa nutmeg two Portland players in a row, and she knew it was coming.
The boiling point had been reached.
One of the players Lisa nutmegged tracked after her, sprinting to catch up to her, and tugged on the back of her jersey. When the referee failed to call the foul, the Portland girl lowered her shoulder and shoved Lisa off the ball.
Lisa soared through the air and landed on the turf, hard, the crowd falling silent.
Jennie white-knuckled the railing, concern for Lisa and rage at the other player running hotly through her.
But before she could even really process what was happening, Lisa shot to her feet and got in the Portland girl's face, the two of them close to blows. It took one word from someone, Jennie wasn't sure which, before the Portland girl shoved Lisa away by the shoulders and Lisa retaliated with a right hook.
Utter chaos descended on the field as the two players were pulled apart by their respective teams, both players being shown red cards and told to leave the field.
Jennie watched with a pit in her stomach as Lisa stormed off the field, kicking over a few water bottles before barreling into the tunnel. She was on her feet and leaving the suite before she could even process what she was doing.
Providence Park was like a maze, and even so, she tried to navigate it. She wanted to see if Lisa was okay, she wanted to check on her. More so than that, she needed to. She felt compelled to be there by her side right now, a compulsion she wasn't quite ready to unpack just yet.
But she couldn't find her.
Not in the tunnel, not in the locker room, not in the showers. Lisa was gone, as was her bag of gear from the guest locker room.
—
Lisa had taken an Uber back to the hotel. She couldn't sit in the locker room or stay in that stadium. She'd gone straight back to the hotel, stripped, showered in the hottest water she could get, and pulled on her most comfortable sweat set.
And even that didn't change the fact that she was still in a city that still felt like the ghost of home. She was angry that people didn't seem to realize that she hadn't chosen to leave. She was hurt that what had once been a safe place now felt uncomfortable.
More than that, she was furious with herself for letting her emotions get the best of her. The red card meant that she now couldn't play in Seattle. She couldn't be there for her teammates. She couldn't do the job that Jennie and Marta expected her to do.
She felt most guilty for disappointing Jennie.
She had gone out of her way to be kind, to look out for her in Portland, and Lisa had messed up. She'd lost her temper and been unprofessional, which most likely just gave all the people in Portland's administrative offices a good laugh.
Jennie was different. She was kind and she genuinely cared, and Lisa hated that she'd probably upset her. So, she waited until there was a knock at her door with the fries she'd ordered from room service, and then, she walked past her teammates' hotel room doors, making a right at the end of the hallway.
She knocked softly on room 315 and waited for Jennie to answer, ready to apologize for her behavior, for embarrassing the team and the boss.
The door opened, revealing a haggard-looking Jennie. Her face immediately changed, lighting up first in surprise, then relief, then moving into something beyond concern. She looked upset.
Jennie simply stepped back and held the door open, waiting for Lisa to move inside.
"I know you're really pissed. You completely deserve to be. I was reckless and out of control, and I'm sure I disappointed you and our team. I really don't- I know that saying sorry and putting french fries on your dresser won't make up for that, but I'll make up for it. I'll play-"
"You can leave the fries, but I'm not the person you should be apologizing to," Jennie interrupted softly.
"Yeah, I realize that. Fries are going to every one of their rooms too," Lisa mumbled.
"Do more than fries. I'll be here if you want to talk about the game once you've said your apologies to the entire team and staff," Jennie replied.
"Yeah," Lisa nodded, moving back to the open door.
Softening for just a moment, Jennie reached out for Lisa's arm, her hand wrapping around the crook of her elbow.
"Come back when you're done?" Jennie asked in a quiet, almost vulnerable voice.
"I don't need to interrupt your night. I've done enough for one day."
Jennie watched Lisa go the same way she came, her shoulders dropping in defeat. She'd made the right decision, sending Lisa away to say her apologies. It was what she as an owner needed to do to maintain the culture she wanted. But she desperately wished she could have begged Lisa to stay so she could prove to her that she didn't have to carry the guilt of this game around with her.
—
"Turn it up," Wendy called out to Celia, who held the remote in her hand. They were channel surfing, munching on the plate of fries they guessed Lisa had sent them, when they saw a rerun of the post-game news conference from tonight's match.
Celia nodded and turned up the volume, then hopped to her feet when she heard a knock at the door. She opened it and saw Lisa hovering outside, her hands stuffed in the front pocket of her sweatshirt.
"Come in," the player said with a tight smile, leading Lisa into the room as the news conference continued on the screen.
"And how are you feeling about Manoban's actions on the field this evening?"
On the screen, Jennie sat behind a microphone next to Marta, the two of them looking agitated.
"I wanted to apologize to both of you for how-" Lisa started.
"Shhh, we're watching," Wendy interrupted.
"I think you're asking us the wrong question," Jennie said in response, causing some murmurs to hum through the journalists.
"And what question should I be asking?" the journalist shot back.
"You should be asking how a league that prides itself on ingenuity and forward-thinking, allows its players to be treated like pawns in a chess match. You should be asking me my opinion on free agency and the empowerment of the professional athletes in our league to make decisions about their own careers. I don't care much for how she delivered the message, but I think Manoban made a pretty clear case for hers. Nobody should be pushed out of their home or their team without their choice," Jennie replied, getting to her feet and signaling the end of the post-game interview.
A silence descended upon the room as Celia used the remote to mute the TV now that the channel had gone back to its newscasters.
"I wanted to apologize for how I handled myself on the field. I wasn't thinking about the team, and I'm really sorry," Lisa apologized, filling the silence.
"It's like the Boss said, you shouldn't have been traded like that. We support you," Wendy replied with a nod.
"We all do," Celia chimed in.
"Still shouldn't have done that," Lisa said with a grimace.
"Probably not, but it's cool," Wendy shrugged.
"Enjoy the fries. I'll see you in the morning."
The players offered Lisa waves as she walked to the door, leaving their hotel room.
Six waved-off apologies later, and Lisa was back in front of 315, knocking quietly and rocking awkwardly on the balls of her feet.
"Didn't expect you to come back," Jennie said as she opened the door, her brows knit in surprise.
"I said the apology, but now I'm saying thank you for the press conference," Lisa replied, offering a tight smile.
"Oh, umm, it's not a problem," Jennie waved off, leaning against the open door.
"No, it's... it's a big deal, and I really appreciate it."
"I just hope you're seeing that we're trying to be a different kind of club," Jennie said in reply.
"I do see that. I've been seeing that," Lisa assured, running a hand through her hair.
"Good. So you know I technically have to say, 'don't do that again' as the owner of the Ruby, but as... someone who cares, I hope the punch felt good," Jennie grinned.
"Honestly, yes and no. I'm glad I used my right hand, though," Lisa chuckled, lifting up her right hand where bruises were starting to form around her knuckles.
Jennie dropped her eyes to the hand and felt her eyes widen. "Oh my God, are you okay?" she asked, reaching out to take ahold of Lisa's hand, her touch gentle.
"I tried to ice it sort of," Lisa shrugged, "but then I got distracted by ordering room service fries."
"I've got ice," Jennie offered, stepping back into her room and letting Lisa's hand fall from her own. She walked into the room, not bothering to look and see if Lisa had followed her. Instead, she unfolded a cloth napkin from room service and dumped some ice from her ice bucket onto it. "Here," she said, turning with the wrapped ice in hand.
"Thanks," Lisa hummed, settling the ice on her knuckles.
"We can go out on the balcony. I have a tendency to fill up every inch of my hotel room," Jennie chuckled, gesturing at the clothes and shoes spread out around the room, leaving no space to sit.
"I can see that," Lisa grinned, looking at the piles of clothes, a dark, lacy bra definitely on top of the pile which she desperately tried to ignore.
Jennie pulled open the sliding glass door and gestured for the player to move outside.
"I didn't get a balcony," Lisa said, poking out her bottom lip in a fake pout, abandoning the ice on the balcony railing.
"I assumed you wouldn't want the view. Apologies if I assumed wrong," Jennie replied, joining Lisa at the railing and looking out across downtown Portland, her hands holding onto the railing in front of her.
"You assumed right," Lisa sighed, looking out at the city and easily picking out her first apartment building and the last condo she'd lived in before buying a house.
Jennie found her focus drawn to the woman beside her and not the night skyline. The deep furrow in Lisa's brow and the thin line her lips were pressed into captured the CEO's attention.
"I got our flight time moved up so we leave early tomorrow. No sense in staying in this city any longer than we have to, right?" Jennie found herself saying, wanting to fill the silence.
"It's a nice city," Lisa sighed, reaching out on the balcony railing and brushing her hand against the side of Jennie's.
"It wasn't nice to you," the brunette observed in a breathy voice, her pointer finger reflexively reaching out to run along Lisa's.
"The city itself is nice," Lisa shrugged. "I lived in that building when I was first drafted," she added, pointing at the tall building in the distance.
Jennie felt a fond smile make its way onto her face as she followed Lisa's direction and looked at the building. "It looks nice. Would you... if there are places and people you'd like to see, would you want to stay longer? I'm sure I can work something out with the flights."
"No," Lisa shook her head. "I hope someday it won't hurt, but right now isn't that time."
Jennie let out a soft hum in acknowledgment, looking away from the building and back at Lisa, her pointer finger moving against Lisa's again in solidarity, in understanding.
Lisa caught Jennie's index finger with her hand, lacing her fingers with the brunette's as she continued to stare across the horizon.
If she'd been smart, Jennie would have pulled her hand away and kept things professional. But the draw was too strong, the compulsion too much to deny. Especially now, with the moonlight playing off of Lisa's tormented features.
"I'm glad I ended up in Denver. Took me a long time to feel that way, but I am glad," Lisa whispered, squeezing Jennie's hand and finally turning her head to look at her.
Jennie let out a shaky breath and unconsciously tightened her hold on Lisa's hand under the intense, watchful gaze.
"I'm glad our club finally swayed you," Jennie replied softly.
Lisa turned her body slightly so that she could look more directly at her. She ran her thumb along the back of Jennie's hand, looking into the green eyes that she'd been thinking about for most of her time since moving to Denver.
"I don't think it was solely the club," Lisa mumbled, unconsciously moving closer.
Jennie couldn't help but move closer as well, even though she knew she shouldn't. It felt inevitable, the erasing of space between them. She was answering a siren's call, unable to do more than lean into Lisa.
"I'm happy you came to Denver," Jennie whispered, standing so close to Lisa now that their noses almost bumped, their bodies almost coming into contact.
Lisa reached up with her left hand and cupped the side of Jennie's face before she leaned forward and finally pressed a soft kiss to Jennie's lips, something she'd been thinking about for an embarrassingly long time.
She'd underestimated just how soft Jennie's lips would feel against her own and just how sweet her lips would taste. She hadn't thought about how amazing Jennie would smell because she hadn't been this close to her before.
It took all of Jennie's strength to pull back. To put a stop to the kiss she desperately wanted to continue. Kissing Lisa had felt perfect and right and she was a fool to have let it happen.
"We can't," Jennie breathed out, her forehead pressed to Lisa's, her free hand gently gripping onto her waist.
"Right, yeah," Lisa nodded, wanting the complete opposite because her stomach was flipping and her heart was racing for more than just one kiss.
"God, we can't," Jennie sighed, her eyes squeezed tightly shut as her lips tingled and her heart cried out for more.
Her hand flexed against Lisa's hip, and she wasn't entirely sure which one of them made the next move, but what only should have happened once, was now happening again. It was as if they had never stopped their first kiss, the two of them seamlessly picking up where they had left off, lips pressing softly, chastely against one another's.
And in hindsight, Jennie realized it was entirely her fault for the kiss moving into something more.
Without conscious thought, Jennie parted her lips and deepened the kiss, moving her hand to grip tightly onto the front of Lisa's sweatshirt, pulling on the soft Adidas material and bringing their bodies flush together.
Lisa's arms were around Jennie in a second, grasping at her back and pulling her impossibly closer. Her tongue was brushing along Jennie's bottom lip and a soft moan was slipping from her lips into her mouth.
Jennie moved her hand into Lisa's hair, finally running those effortless waves through her fingers like she'd longed to as she matched Lisa, pace for pace.
Gentle nips of teeth and teasingly slipped tongues through parted lips were traded back and forth as hands roamed and the crackling tension between them was finally explored.
And Lisa never wanted to stop exploring. She sucked gently on Jennie's bottom lip and slid her hands up and down her sides, squeezing her hips with each pass of her hands.
A few times she felt her thumbs catch on the hem of Jennie's sweater, but she didn't allow herself to fully slip her fingers under the fabric, to feel her warm skin against her own. She held her hands back but that didn't mean she kept her tongue from sliding along the roof of Jennie's mouth. It didn't stop her from trailing her lips along the underside of Jennie's jaw, down to her pulse point, and back up to her lips, nipping and kissing and soothing her skin with her tongue.
Jennie had never felt this level of desire in the wake of someone's touch. Her heart was racing and her skin was tingling and she felt hot all over. She could feel every single place where Lisa was touching her, every single place where Lisa's lips or tongue had been. She was both completely grounded and present, while also completely transcending out of her own body.
And she couldn't find it in herself to bring a stop to this.
Jennie pivoted and pushed Lisa against the balcony railing with her hips as her lips marked a blazing trail down the hard line of Lisa's jaw. She gently nipped with her teeth and soothed with her tongue as she moved down the player's throat, smiling a bit to herself when she could feel Lisa's fluttering pulse beneath her tongue.
Lisa couldn't stop the way she was clinging to Jennie or the breathy gasps that were leaving her lips. She couldn't stop the heat that was coiling low in her stomach or the warmth she could feel radiating from between her legs.
Jennie swallowed the next breathy gasp with her lips, kissing Lisa in a desperate sort of way she couldn't fully understand. It was as if she were trying to seize the moment while she could, clinging to it so tightly because she was afraid it would slip away.
So, she made the absolute most of it.
She pressed Lisa back against the railing and snaked her hands beneath the hem of Lisa's sweatshirt, gripping tightly onto her bare sides and sighing at the warmth radiating off of her skin. She explored every inch of Lisa's mouth, earning more sighs and gasps with every flick of her tongue against the player's.
With a tentative touch, Jennie ran the pads of her fingertips across flexed and tensed abs, charting across skin she'd seen one too many times and finally got to feel. And she wished for time to freeze so she could stay suspended in this moment forever.
Lisa couldn't hold back the moan that fell from her lips at the touch. She'd wanted this touch. She'd wanted to touch. So, she slid her own hands under Jennie's sweater and matched her touch. She kissed down the column of Jennie's throat, walking her back toward the door to the hotel room and pressing her against it as she touched and kissed with more passion than she ever had with someone.
"Wait- shit- why do you have to-" Jennie gasped, a war waged between continuing and stopping as she leaned her head to the side to give Lisa more room to work.
"What?" Lisa asked, pausing with her lips on the corner of Jennie's jaw, her tongue still moving, still soothing a spot where her teeth had just scraped.
"You're so good at that but we- we can't," Jennie said with a breathy sigh, somehow finding the strength to put a pause to this.
If they hadn't moved toward her room, she might have indulged a little bit longer. But the intent was clear, as was the desire. And even if they both wanted it, they couldn't continue.
She slowly removed her hand from beneath Lisa's sweatshirt, loosening her other hand from the hair at the back of Lisa's head. She gently cradled her cheek and pulled her away, leaning her forehead against Lisa's and taking in a few deep lungfuls of air.
"Are you sure we can't?" Lisa asked, letting out a quiet, hoarse laugh. She pulled her own hands away, straightening Jennie's sweater and resting her hands on the woman's now fully covered hips.
"I want to," Jennie whispered, a shaky breath leaving her lips as her hands cradled Lisa's cheeks. "But you're... I sign your checks and four hours ago you punched a Portland player because you're still hurting. So as much as I want to, we can't."
Lisa let out a long breath of air that definitely came out like a whine. She squeezed her eyes shut and let go of Jennie's hips, opting to stick her hands into her pockets so as not to do anything that Jennie had just stopped.
"I'd still want to kiss you if I hadn't punched a player," Lisa mumbled, still feeling her lips tingle with all that they'd touched.
Jennie managed a small smile, tracing her thumbs across Lisa's cheekbones reverently.
"I'm still going to want to kiss you even though I sign your checks," Jennie admitted softly.
"We could just kiss really secretly," Lisa sighed, leaning into her touch.
Jennie let out a soft laugh, dropping a fleeting kiss to the corner of Lisa's mouth just because her resolve was already weakening.
"I don't think it would be good if we got caught doing that," Jennie replied softly. "And as much as I love being around you, you have to go or I'm going to... not be able to stop myself from kissing you."
"So, you're gonna be super strong and not do this again?" Lisa asked, taking a step back and reaching for the door that led into the hotel room.
"We can't," Jennie repeated, her hands falling to her sides.
"That wasn't the question," Lisa grinned, sliding the door open and stepping into the room.
"It wasn't a fair question," Jennie called after Lisa.
"I'm just asking if you're gonna have great willpower and never do that again? Because I'm planning on wooing you," Lisa shrugged, shuffling backward toward the door, her lips set in a playful smile.
"I'm a very strong-willed woman," Jennie said, crossing her arms over her chest and going for calm and collected. But the blush in her cheeks and her kiss-swollen lips made her look far more affected than she wanted.
"And if I said that I'm planning to pursue you, would you be upset?" Lisa asked, leaning back against the door with her hand poised on the handle.
"I would remind you that we really shouldn't be pursuing anything," Jennie replied, knowing her answer wasn't really an answer. Again. "I'm your boss."
"That wasn't really my question. Would you like me to not pursue you?" Lisa asked, clarifying what she was asking.
"Lisa, I..." Jennie sighed, her green eyes flashing with hope while her arms remained tightly crossed in front of her chest. "Of course I want you to, but I can't-"
"Let me know if that changes," Lisa interrupted with a nod, pulling open the hotel room door and slipping into the hallway.