I spent the next two hours sitting at the end of the pier. My brain was numb.
I sat and watch the ocean, and refused the tears that threatened my eyes.
I thought the problem was that I wasn't single this whole time. Now it seems like that didn't even matter to her. It was just the excuse she used to say no.
Her rejecting me and knowing that she had me completely made this rejection the worst out of all of them.
I know she cares about me. But not the same way I feel about her obviously.
She said something about not being able to tell me something.
Did she have some sort of double life? A secret child? Was she a secret drug lord?
All of the possibilities I came up with in my head seemed unlikely.
I don't care about her past. I care about our future.
After a few more minutes I got up and walked back along the pier to my car. I drove without thinking back to my house. I expected to see Emelias car but it was no where to be found.
She must really not want to see me.
I parked and walked inside the house I found Eric in the lounge laying on a couch.
When he saw me he sat up and looked at me with a questioning look.
"Did you find her?"
"Yeah." I looked anywhere it his eyes. Eric was the last person I wanted to talk to about this.
I think he realized this so he got up and wrapped me into a hug. "Wanna order some pizza now?" He said changing the subject.
"Yeah." I said then pushed myself away from him.
I decided to invite Stacey over to spend the night. I figured the more people I had around me the less likely I was to cry.
I explained what happened at the pier to Stacey when she got there and she had no clue what to say. She just pulled me into a hug and told me it was going to be okay.
Eric Stacey and I decided to watch a movie after we finished our pizza.
I led them into the theater room and turned on the lights. I stared at the spot where I sat next to Emelia the night before. My friends walked past me and chose their seats. I walked to the back of the room and sat far away from my seat from last night.
"What are we watching?" Eric asked.
"Something spicy." Stacey answered.
"So porn." Eric answered.
"No!" Stacey and I yelled together and I threw a pillow at his head. We all laughed and I felt a little better.
Finally we settled on a scary movie. I didn't pay attention though. I kept staring at the door hoping I'd see Emelia walk in.
Unrealistic I know.
I know she doesn't want me like that but that doesn't make me care for her any less.
Halfway through the movie I excused myself. I just needed to sleep this off.
I walked up the stairs and climbed into my bed. Pulling the blanket over must've unlocked the hidden barrier that had been holding my tears in. I cried myself to sleep over my ex Assistant.
I couldn't convince myself to get out of bed until 11 AM the next morning. I left my room and walked past Emelias door which was closed. That meant she was either still in there or she never came home. I felt my chest wrench for a second then I ran down the stairs as if to get away from the pain.
"Good morning sleepy head." Eric said as I walked into the kitchen. He was drinking some coffee and next to him sat Stacey who was playing on her phone.
"How long have the two of you been up?" I asked walking to the coffee pot.
"About an hour." Stacey shrugged putting her phone down. "It's given us a good amount of time to plan the party."
"Oh. I forgot about that." I looked at her with a panicked look.
"It'll be a good distraction I promise. I've invited a ton of hot guys and girls." She grinned.
I frowned at her then eyed Eric. That's awkward.
"Stacey you are literally sitting next to my Ex." She looked at him then laughed. "I'm sure he will appreciate the fine ass people I've invited too."
Eric and I laughed with her.
"Okay fine." I conceded.
"Great!" Stacey clapped her hands and stood up. "We are having a pool party. I need to go buy hamburgers and hot dogs seeing as if can't be 4th of July without them." She grabbed her bag from the counter and left without another word.
"That's a strange friend you got there." Eric laughed and sipped on his coffee.
"Yes but I love her." I laughed and sipped on my coffee.
"So will it be weird if I flirt with people tonight?" He asked out of no where.
"Not at all!" I looked at him with a frown.
"Okay. Just checking. I just don't want to make things weird on my last night here." He shrugged.
"I'm the one that already made things weird. I think you are in the clear." I laughed then put my empty cup in the sink.
"I kinda want to go shopping for another swim suit. Would you like to come?" I asked turning back to him.
"Sure! I haven't been shopping in a while. I need something patriotic to wear tonight."
I laughed. "Okay Captain America. I'll meet you in the lounge in 30 ish minutes. I need to shower."
I left the room and went back to my room to shower. After I was done I chose a orange dress that went down to my mid thigh. It had no sleeves and a winched waist. I let my hair fall naturally and put on some eye liner and mascara.
I ran downstairs where Eric was waiting for me in a blue polo, and white shorts.
"You look like a frat boy." I laughed and gestured for him to follow me to the garage.
"That's what I was going for." He laughed.
We got to the garage and he whistled. "I know I've said this before but damn! Your car collection is nice."
"I agree. Do you want to pick what we should drive today?"
He nodded his head excitedly and scanned the garage. I did too and noticed The beat up Honda wasn't in its spot. So she didn't come home. I frowned to myself.
Eric finally settled on my fathers orange Mercedes AMG GT Coupe.
"Good choice. I grabbed the keys and got into the drivers seat.
He climbed in next to me and when I cranked the engine to life he giggled.
I looked at him with a grin.
"Why are you giggling?"
"Cuz this car is so sexy. I'm excited! And it matches your dress." He pointed the last part out and I laughed. I hadn't noticed.
Just as I opened the garage I saw Emelia pulling up the driveway. I shifted the car into park and waited for her to park her car in her spot.
"I'll be right back." I didn't wait for his reply because I was already running towards Emelias car.
She noticed me and climbed out of her car.
"Clara. I don't really want to talk right now." She moved to walk by me.
"Emelia please." I grabbed her hand and she turned to look at me. She pulled her hand away and ran it through her hair with a sigh.
"Clara....... I..."
"No wait. Please don't say anything...... I can't handle another rejection. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I should've realized you didn't feel the same way." I looked down at my feet. "I'm new at this whole "liking women" thing." I laughed then looked into her eyes. She still had a blank face but I think I saw a glint of a smile.
"Clara...... I think you are beautiful. I have already told you I've wanted to make you mine....... I just have things I can't tell you. Things I know that would effect how you feel about me." She looked down with a frown.
My heart was beating so fast I thought I might burst. I took a step closer to her.
"Nothing you could say would change how I feel about you." I lifted her chin with my hand so she was looking into my eyes.
"You don't know that." She whispered.
"If you don't want to tell me then don't. All I want is you." I stared into her eyes. I needed her. Only her.
A loud blast of music came from behind us. I dropped my hand off Emelias face and spun around to the sound.
"Sorry! I was just turning on the radio and someone left the thing cranked all the way up." Eric said awkwardly climbing out of the car.
I glared at him.
"You should go." Emelia said softly behind me.
"We aren't done talking about this Em." I shook my head.
"I know." She whispered taking a step away from me.
"Wait......." I reached for her hand.
"Stacey is throwing a pool party tonight. Please come. We can talk more then." I begged.
She pondered to herself for a moment then answered "I'll be there." Then spun around and walked inside.
I sighed to myself then got back into the car and pulled out of the garage in silence.
"Nice weather today, huh?" Eric said trying to lighten the mood.
"I will kill you." I looked over at him and he raised his hands up in defeat.
"My bad!" We both started laughing and I drove us to the mall. I suddenly couldn't wait for this party tonight.
I chose a cliche Bikini that had an American flag printed across my boobs.
Eric refused to show me what he bought. I'm sure he'll be embarrassing tonight, but it'll be fun.
Around 7 people started showing up to my house. Thankfully Stacey kept her promise of only inviting 10 people. I didn't want another party where I only talked to one person.
Stacey and I were chatting with a couple boys she had invited. I didn't catch their names because my mind was a little preoccupied with looking for Emelia.
Suddenly the music changed from the song we had on to fortunate son on full blast. I spun around to see who caused it and I saw Eric standing on the outside bar counter. He had on a pair of American flag shorts and a blue cape with stars on it. To top off his look he had a bud light box placed on his head as a mask.
Oh my god.
"Happy 4th everybody!" As he said that a guy came from inside the house with a massive keg. Everyone cheered.
I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked back to see Stacey bent of with laughter using me to hold herself up.
"This fuckin guy." She said through laughs and pointed at Eric who was jumping off the counter and walking over to me. I couldn't help but giggle at his stupid mask.
"Quite an entrance Captain." I grinned at him.
"Thank you m'lady. And may I say you two women look quite ravishing." He said in a fake accent.
"You may." Stacey said and held out her hand for him and he kissed it then laughed.
"Why are you all standing around I thought this was a party." Suddenly he grabbed Stacey and I and pulled us into his chest.
"No! Eric!" It was too late.
He threw all three of us in the water.
We all resurfaced and Stacey and I started splashing Eric.
"You fuck!" Stacey yelled and we all laughed.
The two guys we were talking to helped us out of the pool while others began jumping in.
I looked around for Emelia but couldn't find her. She said she would come. Maybe she got held up working. Her car was here before the party started.
I need to relax. Im sure she'll find me if she comes. I filled up a cup from the keg and chugged down some alcohol.
About a half an hour later I was pretty buzzed and on some random guys shoulders having a chicken fight in the pool against Stacey.
"Your going down slut." I said grinning.
"Not on you." I shocked even myself with that one.
Stacey started laughing at me.
"That was uncalled for." She giggled.
"My bad. Drunk Clara has no filter."
She just nodded her head.
"Alright Chad. Let's do this." I tapped the guys head. I don't think his name was chad but he hasn't corrected me.
Stacey and I locked arms and were squeezing and laughing trying to shove each other off these random guys shoulders.
Just when Stacey was about to fall off I noticed her out of the corner of my eye. She was standing at the edge of the pool smiling. She had on a white bikini that showed off her toned stomach.
I was so distracted when I saw her there that Stacey ripped me off of Chads shoulders. I fell into the water and screamed as I went underwater.
When I came out of the water I felt arms wrap around my waist.
"I thought you had her!" Eric said as I wiped the water out of my face.
"I know I got distracted." I looked past him towards Emelia who was frowning at Eric and I. She turned and walked back inside.
"I.... I gotta go." I pulled away from him then got out of the pool.
I ran after Emelia sopping water into the house. When I finally caught up to her she was going up the stairs towards the bedrooms.
"Em wait!"
I yelled at her as she reached the top step. She turned back and looked at me. She looked defeated. She turned without saying anything and walked to her room.
I raced up the stairs and reached her door just as she started to close it.
"Emelia. I wanna talk." I slammed my hand on her door keeping her from closing it.
She finally gave in and walked into the room and stood in front of her bed folding her arms.
I walked in the room closing the door behind me.
"I've been looking for you. All night."
"Why were you looking for me? You had plenty of company." She said this in a icy tone that made me wince.
"I'm always looking for you." I said taking a step toward her. "Every room I walk in I look for you."
She looked down at her feet.
"Clara..... you know I can't......."
"You can Em. You're just scared of something." I stepped towards her again.
She shook her head.
"I can't tell you Clara."
"You don't have to tell me anything." I stood in front of her. She was looking up into my eyes. "I look for you in every room because I hope that you are there. Every second of everyday I want you to be there. That's all I care about." I reached for her hand and she let me hold it.
"You have a crazy life ahead of you Clara. You are so young. I'm not what you need."
She looked down at her feet. I quickly grabbed her chin and pulled her face back up to meet mine. We were only a few inches apart.
"I just need you to kiss me Emelia Cole."
It was as if all her restraint broke at my words. She wrapped her arms around my neck and smashed her lips into mine. I was so stunned by the suddenness of her actions that I couldn't move.
Once I realized what was happening I snaked my arms around her waist and kissed her back. She kissed me roughly without holding back. She wound her hands into my wet hair and licked my bottom lip asking to deepen the kiss. I immediately opened my mouth and her tongue danced with mine. I tightened my grip on her bare hips. I can't believe this is happening.
I felt her body start pushing mine towards her bed then she was pushing me onto it and straddling my waist. Our lips broke apart and I looked up into her beautiful face. We were both breathing like we had just run a mile. She smiled at me then her eyes looked down at my bikini top at stomach.
"You are so beautiful." She ran a finger from my collar bone down the middle of my chest to my belly button. I squirmed under her touch and she giggled.
I sat up onto my elbows and smiled at her. "So.......... What does this mean?"
"It means I'm no longer going to run from you." She leaned down and pecked my lips. I felt butterflies in my stomach.
"What do we tell people."
"We probably shouldn't tell them anything." I frowned at her.
"Not because I don't want to.........What would your father think if he found out the woman he hired to look after his daughter is now in a relationship? He'd think I'm some sort of creepy groomer."
"That is so far from the truth and you know it." I say up all the way now and wrapped my arms around her bare back. "But if you want to keep this between us I will." I kissed her lips.
"We.... Should..... get..... back..... downstairs." She said through kisses and I frowned then threw myself back on the bed.
"I just got you and you are already trying to get me to go away."
She laughed and got off of my hips. I felt a shiver of coldness when her skin left mine.
"Come on." She giggled and grabbed my hand to pull me up. "We should take things slow anyways."
"Fine." I groaned and got out of her bed.
Her bed was definitely soaked from my swim suit.
"I think I got your bed wet."
"Hopefully that's not the last time."
I stopped In my tracks and stared at her. She did not just say that.
As she walked out the door she stuck her head back in.
"Close your mouth. You look crazy."