CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
PARIS — TAYLOR SWIFT
I'm so in love that I might stop breathing!
"HOW'RE YOU DOIN', Sunbaby?"
JJ's voice carried through the air, over the crashing waves and squawking seagulls. There was a smile on his face and a slight skip in his step as he made his way over to his wife and best friend.
At the sound of her golden boy, Stella looked up from the mat she was weaving just in time for her cheek to meet his lips. Her eyes squinted as she faced the sun but a small smile pulled at her mouth. "Golden, J."
Kie playfully rolled her eyes for the sake of teasing her, but she was glad to see Stella happy. Out of everyone in the group, Stella had taken their situation the hardest. She had the most to lose, after all. Money, a future, a good relationship with a mother who loved her. She had everything. And then she had nothing. No one held it against her when she would sneak off to sulk, especially when they knew JJ would be there to pull her back from her thoughts.
Stella's gaze fell to the blinding white fabric JJ clutched in his hands. "What do you have there?"
He wiggled his brows at her. "Oh, just a little somethin'-somethin'. Behold, Mrs. Maybank." He brandished flag before her and with a proud grin, announced, "Poguelandia!"
The girls raised their brows and slowly nodded as they read the flag. Poguelandia was written in bold, top and centre. Under it was a chicken wearing Crocs and a coconut bra, smoking a joint. JJ talked about their mascot all the time, so the flag was no surprise.
"Is this what you've been doing all day?" Kie asked, tilting her head.
JJ shrugged. "You guys like it?"
Stella studied the drawing. She always knew JJ was a talented artist. In fact, she had a box of little doodles he gifted to her over the years under her bed at home. It was a secret hobby of his, one that he was quite confident in despite never sharing with anyone, so she didn't feel bad when she decided to tease him.
"You misspelled Pogue," she stated.
JJ's eyes widened. "What?"
She tried her best to fight off her grin, but failed as soon as he met her stare. "Kidding."
He dropped one side of the flag and placed his hand over his heart. "Don't do that to me, baby. We have limited resources, I couldn't redo it if I wanted to." Turning around, he started to walk off. "You two ladies want to help me put it up? We can go fishing after. Your favourite, Stel."
Kie groaned but stood up anyway. "I suck at fishing."
Stella took the hand Kie held out for her to take and allowed herself to be pulled to her feet. "You never know, Kie. Today could be your lucky day."
"You say that every day."
"And I'll keep saying it until you catch something, bub."
Fishing, climbing trees, picking coconuts, foraging in the forest, family bonfires, exploring. For the past six weeks—give or take a few weeks, Stella lost count—their lives consisted of living off the land. It was fun at first. Being free from real responsibilities like school or work. Being free from the shackles of capitalism was a plus in the eyes of the Pogues too. But eventually, the days began to blend into one another and it felt like they were waiting for something that would never come.
Sometimes, Stella would lie awake and stare at the stars, wondering if her mother was looking at the same sky.
God, she missed her mom.
She missed her so much, and it killed her to know that she was sitting at home worrying over if her daughter was safe, or alive for that matter. It hurt even more when she remembered that the last conversation they had didn't end on the best terms. One of the last things her mother ever said to her was that she was disappointed in her.
It's not that Stella regretted helping her friends. She would never regret helping them and she would do it again in a heart beat. The freedom felt amazing and she loved the people she was with, but she was allowed to mourn what her life could have been if they did things differently.
Also, she never thought being stranded on a deserted island would happen to her so she didn't have a plan to cope with it.
"You've got that look on your face again," JJ stated, taking her out of her thoughts. "What's going on in that big brain of yours?"
They finished fishing hours ago, and as it turned out, it was Kie's lucky day. She managed to score them skate for dinner and celebrating her achievement was the only time Stella showed any semblance of genuine joy.
Being stranded on a deserted island was hard for her and the others knew that. Not because she was stripped of her daily luxuries like air conditioning or a fully stocked fridge, but because she had an overbearing tendency for control. She liked knowing things for a reason. She had no idea if they would ever get off the island.
JJ was the only one who knew the full extent of it. Stella never told him how much being here affected her, and she didn't need to. He knew her better than anyone. He saw the signs. Her real smiles faded into fake ones. Her gaze lowered whenever they spoke about the Outer Banks. She got this far off look when they asked her to identify random berries they found in the woods, like she was reminiscing about all the articles she used to read. She missed everything she lost, and she liked to pretend but JJ knew her tells.
Stella turned her head. Her back was resting against his chest as the others played a game of truth or dare. "I'm okay, JJ," she assured. "You've been watching me all day, don't think I haven't noticed."
JJ shook his head. My little know-it-all, he thought as he tucked a strand hair behind her ear. "What? I can't stare at my wife? I think I have the right to stare. Not everyone's missus is as stunnin' as mine, you know."
"Except John B."
His brows furrowed. "Do I have to worry about you running off with Sarah now?"
Across from them, John B called their names. "Hey, what're you two whispering on about?"
Without missing a beat, Stella replied with a small smirk, "Just how I'm going to steal your girl."
Their friends laughed at her words and Sarah tossed the palm-woven hat they made over to her own husband. "John B, it's your turn." He nodded for her to continue. "If you could do it all again, what would you do different?"
"Uh, get the gold out before Ward did," he answered, prompting the others to do the same.
"Maybe hide the cross a little better," Pope added.
Kie shrugged. "Not yell murderer at Ward, maybe."
"Uh, steal a couple bottles of rum before we jumped off the boat?"
JJ looked over at his best friend. "Yeah, why didn't you do that, actually?"
"Maybe because I was in a fight to the death?"
"I could go for some rum right now," Stella mused, bringing the attention back to her. She let out a sigh at the thought of anything that would take the edge off. "And also weed. I could really go for a joint."
"Me too," her husband agreed, tapping her arm. "Six weeks without it, I'm practically a new man."
John B chuckled and tossed his sister the hat. "Truth or dare, Mrs. M."
A hesitant look crossed her face as she gave it some thought. She didn't want to play because she knew where the questions would lead if she picked truth, and picking dare took far to much energy. Thankfully Kie saw her reluctant expression and answered in her place.
"Truth," Kie replied. Stella gave her a small nod of gratitude.
John B pursed his lips before leaning forward. "Um, if you could go home to your parents' house on Figure Eight this instant would you do it?"
Stella's eyes fell to the ground, her hand reaching for the chain around her neck as JJ held her tighter. Nobody saw their small interaction, nor did they question it when JJ placed a kiss on the back of her head.
"No chance," Kie stated with a small laugh. She was better off on Poguelandia, far away from her parents who would send her to a boarding school the minute she returned.
Sarah believed the same thing, considering two members of her family tried to kill her and another drugged her tea once. "Seconded."
"The shower's tempting though."
Stella nodded, leaning forward to make her point. "I'm adding that to the list of the things I need right now." Her head fell back onto JJ's chest and she crossed her arms. "The things I would give for indoor plumbing."
"JJ," Kie called. "Truth or dare?"
He smirked. He didn't know why they still bothered to ask at this point. "You already know my answer. Dare."
"Big jump," she challenged. She nodded to the cliff behind them. It had to be at least fifty feet tall. "Nobody's done it yet."
JJ clapped his hands together like he had been waiting for someone to give him the excuse to jump. "All right," he accepted, then his eyes fell to the girl in front of him. "But under one condition. Stella goes with me."
Instantly, Stella protested. "Absolutely not." She turned to him with wide eyes only to find that he wasn't joking. "Are you out of your mind? You know I hate heights. In fact, you're the reason for that. Remember when you dared me to climb that tree when we were— What are you doing—" Behind her, JJ stood up and pulled her to her feet. While she was talking, he took a hold of her wrist, bend down to grab her legs, and threw her over his shoulder. "JJ, stop! Put me down! I'm not doing this with you, you psycho!"
He ignored her pleas as he started their trek to the summit, flashing grins at their friends while he passed them. "Best way to get over your fears is to face them head on, Stella. You taught me that."
"No, I didn't!"
"Yes, you did." JJ chuckled. She sounded like a child having a tantrum, it was both endearing and funny to listen to. "You read that article about it last year and I was there when you gave Pope the summary."
Stella tried to squirm around in his hold, hoping that he would let her go. JJ was walking so close to the edge that every time she lifted her head to speak, she was met with a daunting sight that made her stomach queasy. "Well, I take it back!" she desperately exclaimed. "I was wrong and exposure therapy sucks!"
JJ never thought he'd see the day that Stella willing admitted she was wrong about something, but he wouldn't let that sway him. "You're never wrong, Stel. I don't think it's humanly possible."
"Flattery will get you nowhere!" The peak of the cliff was getting closer. "This is a horrible idea!"
"You jumped off the Coastal Venture," he reminded, "how is this any different?"
"That was a life or death situation!"
"Oh, and this is just death?"
"Yes! What if you get hurt?"
"Then you can patch me back up."
"What if I get hurt?"
"Then Pope can patch you back up."
"And if we both get hurt? Or worse, hit the water wrong and break our necks?"
"Then the others will give beautiful eulogies and make sure we're buried next to each other." His smile could be heard in his tone despite his own nerves. "Stel, it'll be fine."
Stella was quiet for a few moments before speaking again. "JJ, I can't do it."
He shook his head and placed her on her feet. The moment she was upright, her eyes scanned the area, assessing every possible outcome to the situation she found herself in. Placing his hands on her shoulder, he forced her to look at him. "You can do it. I believe in you." Her expression faltered and he knew he could convince her. "It's just a little jump—"
"Little?"
"—I'll hold your hand the whole time."
She remained hesitant and he sighed softly.
"You don't have to do it if you really don't want to," he assured. "You can go back down and I'll wait for you before jumping."
Truthfully, the only reason he was pushing her so hard was because he thought it would cheer her up. She hated heights, yes, but she hated failure more. She loved accomplishing things and what better accomplishment was there than overcoming her fears? He knew when she succeeded, there would be a smile on her face for days.
Gripping onto his hand, Stella stepped up to the edge. Down below, the waves greeted her with enthusiasm and she could her hear friends yelling words of encouragement.
When she turned around, JJ asked, "Do you trust me?"
Without thinking, Stella nodded. "Of course."
"Then let's do it."
His stare was encouraging and the stupid smile on his face was just as convincing, and suddenly Stella felt like everything would be okay.
Sucking in a quick breath, Stella nodded. "Okay," she said, though her voice was shaky. "Okay, let's do it before I change my mind."
There was something thrilling about the way JJ count down to three. Before she knew it, all Stella could feel was his hand in hers and the air flying around her. The jump was quicker than she expected, and when her skin met the water, she was surrounded by the rush of noise until it all went quiet. Her heart was beating fast, but differently from the way it did before. There was adrenaline in her veins and pride in her bones when she resurfaced and was met with the cheers of her friends.
JJ went on and on about how he thought they were going to die for a moment, but Stella couldn't relate. It was a leap of faith, and while she didn't believe in a higher power, she did believe in JJ.
"STELLS, WAKE UP."
She was woken from her sleep with a shake, and when she opened her eyes, she was met with the hard stare of JJ. He often wore the look when he delivered bad news, so it confused her when he followed it with a tight lipped smile. He was trying to be happy for her—over what exactly, she didn't know.
"What is it?" she questioned, sitting up from the mat they shared.
JJ hesitated. "There's a plane."
"What?" She moved quickly, standing up to search the skies as JJ woke up John B. As soon as she spotted the plane, she took off running in the direction Pope had previously run in.
In the weeks they had been stranded, not a single plane had passed by. There were many heated arguments regarding the SOS signal they built, some lasting longer than others. Some days, they thought it was useless, other days, they sat beside it until they fell asleep. Hope was complex that way, always waxing and waning like the moon.
When Stella got to the pile of wood, she saw Cleo and Pope struggling to get her lighter going. Instantly, she fell to her knees beside them and helped Cleo cup the flame to shield it from the wind.
"Pope, hurry up!"
They were running out of time. The plane was passing and soon, they'd be out of view.
"I got it!"
Their signal went up in flames and they stood back with smiles on their face. Their joy was short-lived because moments later, they realized that the pilot hadn't seen them.
Miracles only happened to people who believed in them.
There were different names for it. Kie and Sarah called it manifestation. JJ, John B, and Cleo called it luck. Pope and Stella, however, called it the placebo effect.
To people like Pope and Stella who placed almost all of their trust into science and academia, they never believed anything without proof. That's why when the plane turned, Pope thought he was dreaming and Stella thought she was hallucinating. Neither of them believed that they were saved until they found themselves in the shallow water of what they called the Pond, face to face with the very plane they thought had abandoned them.
Stella held onto JJ's hand, squeezing it tightly as the door to the plane opened. Quietly, the blond whispered, "I don't want to leave."
He had everything he needed. Fish, coconuts, his friends, and his girl. There was no restitution hanging over his head or bills to pay now that his father ditched him for a life in Mexico. Things were easier here.
His honesty caused Stella to look up at him. She understood his reservations. The Outer Banks didn't have anything to offer him anymore, just stress and misery. "I'm sorry," she replied.
JJ shrugged, brushing off his feelings and problems as he always did. Though, he was faced with little regret. He would go wherever Stella went. Nothing mattered as much as she did and if she wanted to go back to Kildare, then he'd be right behind her.
"Come on, Sunbaby." He tugged her along to join their friends. "The honeymoon's over, let's go home."
RAE SPEAKS!
HI! LONG TIME, NO SEE!
i know i said that i wasn't continuing this book (and i did mean that when i said it), but after watching the new season, i decided that stella's story wasn't finished yet. there are still relationships and plots i'd love to explore and with the timing of season 3 coming out and this book hitting one million reads (which is crazy thank you so much 😭🫶), i figured why not.
i'd like to apologize to those who read the previous epilogue with the disappointment that i wasn't continuing and i hope you come back around to read the rest, and i thank those who have shown this fic love over the years it's been published!
stella "sunbaby" marx-maybank is back and i can't wait for you to be reunited :)