this chapter briefly mentions a character avoiding another and an argument breaking out between characters.
please read with caution and enjoy <3
WILBUR COULD BARELY FOCUS ON ANYTHING during the lovejoy stage on the fourth tour stop. his fingers plucking the wrong notes on his guitar, his voice becoming strained on notes he could easily reach before with the crowd helping more than they should, everything was falling at the seams.
on most occasions, audrey was the one to pick up on his mood when it's falling too close to the deep end and make his smile is wider than it's ever been - only this time he's refusing to let her help this time. she's trying, wilbur is yet to have bad vision to this, but wilbur can't let her in.
wilbur knew what he was doing is and was wrongful, keeping his sworn best friend out of the loop this time around because of stupid and idiotic reasoning, at least wilbur believes his feelings are.
wilbur, to his knowledge, has been feeling a certain way about audrey from four years ago up until recently. of course, wilbur would rather keep audrey as a friend and suffer in silence about his blooming feelings than admit to it. wilbur can afford to lose guitar picks and printed setlists and give them to fans, but wilbur cannot afford to lose audrey.
as silly as it sounds, wilbur couldn't help but refer to his dreamsmp character storyline as how he was feeling.
the man depicted his minecraft survival multiplayer as a founding father so to speak. he was gaining the momentum of his viewers because of his ravenous actions and infamous scene of saluting his webcam as the world around him crumbled and blew to pieces.
before audrey entered his life, wilbur was like a ticking time bomb, much like the conversation between himself and phil in the lore stream. he was in a mental state that could destroy himself from the inside out, and was yet to push the button unlike his pixelated character. offline wilbur didn't need to press the button to already feel like he was dead, he was practically a zombie.
you know how the minecraft character ends up.
queue audrey, the equivalent of ghost-wilbur's sheep, friend. wilbur shook his head as he thought of this, a silent chuckle being let out as he sat alone on the couch in the dressing room. audrey sparked a flame in wilbur, igniting a passion that brought wilbur four years ago out of his shell. wilbur, as cliché as it sounds, wanted to be a better person because of audrey. just like how ghostbur, as society called, had friend, wilbur had audrey.
shaking his head once again, audrey was suddenly waltzing in with joe and ash, laughing at a presumed comment from joe.
wilbur clenched his jaw, a habit he's seemed to notice. wilbur felt like he already lost, just like his canonical character. wilbur couldn't help but compare himself to his fellow guitarist, noticing how happy audrey seemed with the man to her left.
the curly-haired man was so set on his narrative that his silenced crush and his best mate were together, he felt he didn't need to ask audrey at all. he was hurt, the feeling of betrayal surging through his veins as he heard audrey play guitar that day with joe.
writing letters my arse.
ash noticed wilbur's odd behavior, and ushered the man outside to pack up the van. he was thankful for ash, the tattooed man knowing about his inkling of a crush on audrey. a ghost smile was on his face, a mere moment of tranquility resting in his mind as his eyes closed.
wilbur opened his eyes and landed to the guitar case audrey was holding.
"you got a guitar?" wilbur breathed out as calmly as he could manage.
"you're talking to me now?" audrey bit back, making wilbur sick to his stomach. wilbur had nobody to blame but himself.
"i asked you a question, audrey." wilbur grumbled back. the man was starting to do what he does best: push people away when he's close to going into the deep end.
"yeah. i bought an electric guitar. you would know if you spoke to me at all, wilbur." audrey smiled, her eyes shooting daggers.
"where are you going to put it? 'cause it sure as hell isn't going in the van with us." wilbur disregarded, wincing at his choosing of words. harsh, venomous, disrespectful, sickening to name a few.
"woah- wilbur what?" mark boardman spoke up, wilbur noticing the man enter the greenroom alongside leandra. "why can't it go in the van?"
"not enough space." keep pushing. "it can't fit in the trunk without shattering other pieces of equipment." farther. "what's the point of it." keep going.
"that's enough, wilbur." leandra called out.
"you need to be honest," audrey whispered out.
"honest? with what?" wilbur disregarded leandra's comment, his face scrunched up in confusion.
"with me, with yourself," audrey replied, the volume of her voice low. "i think you need to explain to me why you're doing this. i don't believe a single thing you said," audrey mumbled more quietly, staring into his intense gaze.
"no," he insisted. "and you don't have to believe me, i'm just being a realist."
"what does that even mean, gold?"
"it means i-" he took a quick pause, "just, do whatever you want with the guitar," he said dismissively, preparing to turn his back on audrey once again.
"what do you want from me?" audrey cried out, tears pricking her eyes.
wilbur scoffed, shaking his head. "i want you to pack the bloody guitar and leave me alone," he told audrey. the tears threatened to fall, causing audrey to blink her eyes quickly as she turned her face from him. wilbur watched the woman for a moment, and audrey was sure he was debating what to do next. wilbur had never made audrey cry before, at least not that he was aware of.
wilbur made his decision quickly, turning away and walking towards the van. "wilbur," audrey quickly called out in her broken voice, but the man was already on the bus.
his headphones were blaring music at an almost ear-shattering volume as he grumbled while glaring out the window, the group of fans waiting for the man slowly diminishing at the information of his departure.
soon his phone started ringing. wilbur's hands were running through his curls, holding onto each strand as his eyes darted to the device ringing. his nimble fingers disconnected from his hair as he clicked the green icon. the man was alone in his shared hotel room with mark boardman.
"you need to get your shit together, wilbur." his best friend demanded once the phone call connected. wilbur sighed as his left hand returned to his hair, his right-clicking the speaker option. "you are actually destroying what little ounce of love is in that friendship, the potential fucking relationship!"
to say tom simons was livid would be an understatement.
"tommy, i can't do this right now." wilbur breathed out, his finger hovering over the end call option.
"but you can yell at audrey for her new guitar taking up space in a van? you can ignore her an hour after you spam texted me that you almost spoke to her about everything? tell me wilbur, why can't you listen to me be angry at you for five minutes but can be angry at audrey for two weeks?"
"because i'm in love with her!" wilbur shouted out to tommy, his voice cracking as his emotions spewed out. "i am so painfully in love with my best friend that i'm acting on emotion rather than using my own bloody brain! i've yelled at her, given her the cold shoulder, argued with her, god fuck - i even told her the nicknames i've given her were just a couple of stupid names. god, i've never called anyone darling except to her and i have never in my life let anyone call her auds. it is so painfully far from being stupid, it's my nicknames and they're special to me."
"wilbur-"
wilbur started to tear up as he blubbered on "and i've done everything in the book to her because i can feel myself feeling something that is more than a friendship. it's stupid, to push and toy with someone you might have a small feeling of infatuation with because you don't know how to handle emotions. if i confess to audrey that i like her - not even love - i've ruined a four-year friendship."
"will-"
"i can get a handle on suppressing my infatuation with audrey if i wanted to, but i would rather ignore her and be a bit of a wanker to her than risk losing my best friend in the process. audrey means more to me than anyone else, and if she's not in my life then i don't know how i could live. every part of my daily life would be altered simply because she was so - a part of it. i just -"
"wilbur soot." tommy exasperated, cutting off wilbur. the older stopped his rambling and his words overflowing like water, instead he was stunned. "you need to breathe. i can't help you if you stop." tommy joked.
sighing, wilbur inhaled deeply, holding his breath as he did so. the man blinked, letting go of his pant leg he didn't know he was grasping before letting the breath go. "she's dating joe. why else would she sneak around to his hotel room if she was trying to keep it a secret. why would she lie to me? i'm a nervous wreck, tommy."
"you think i can't tell?" tommy joked, stopping once he noticed wilbur's deep breaths on the other side of the line. "i know you're scared of your feelings, especially when it comes to audrey since she's been such a significant piece in your life, but you gotta stop ruining it because of your fear. i'll get back to that - dating shit - in a minute."
"since when did you get so good at advice?" wilbur chuckled gravely.
"since i had to become the advice-giver. audrey cares about you way too much for her not to be affected by your actions. you've noticed it, it would make sense if everyone else did: especially from what ash has told me." tommy continued, his voice cutting out at points.
"you talk to ash about us?" wilbur questioned, his eyebrows furrowing.
"ash is my eyes and ears since i'm still in brighton. stop interrupting! ruining my flow, man - okay. you about two weeks ago would have stood up to someone ignoring her or arguing with audrey, but you're doing exactly the opposite. you and i both know audrey deserves better, yet fear comes back around and fucks you over." tommy finalized.
"i understand fully that you would rather lose feelings and be a, like you said - bitch - to her, but i know you well enough that you don't want to hurt her more than you already have. have you asked her if she's dating joe?"
wilbur stayed silent, nothing but tommy's breathing and the aircon in wilbur's hotel room making sound.
"oh you fucking idiot, you didn't ask?" tommy groaned out.
"no-" wilbur mumbled out, feeling like a child who was getting scolded.
"go talk to her, you've done that for four years, it shouldn't be that hard to do it again." tommy laughed. "besides, she probably misses talking to you."
NATA'S NOTES ┊͙✧˖*°࿐
tommy on his adult arch for once!!! also thank u for 6k <3 i adore u all