Hey Guys!
As you can see on my works I have deleted 4 stories; Monster, It's Christmas in Hollywood, Girl Roadie Meet Boy Rock Star and Behind Closed Doors. I did that because I have way too much on my plate right now but they'll be back in the summer when I've finished editing them. Now back to the story; this is a truibut to my favourite Disney movie Tarzan. I love that movie and I kinda thought it related to Peasnie and Jimmy at this point.
Remember to vote and comment for the next chapter.
~Kat
Chapter 38: You’ll be in My Heart.
“Is that everything?” I asked Peasnie as we packed our things to head to Portland. We’re spending a week in Portland; luckily it’s Spring Break so Peasnie won’t be missing any school. Although she’s not happy she’s not able to hang out with her friends like she planned but she’s happy she’s spending an entire week with just me. Today is Thursday and we’re leaving tonight after dinner so just after six-ish so we’ll get there at about nine in the morning. I’ve made sure the back of Zack’s van has been made as comfortable as possible for Peasnie. I have to take Peasnie to Portland because the lawyers and Child Protective Services requested that they examine the child while they examine Rosie and me. It’s ridiculous; in all honesty I’d rather keep Peasnie here so she won’t be out of her environment in a strange place while being interrogated by a bunch of drab strangers that are probably going to cram words down her throat and thoughts in her head. She won’t be able to come home and just relax in her room or on the couch with the guys; she’ll be stuck in a hotel room or a little office most of the time. But either way she was excited to spend some one on one time with me.
Peasnie gave me a justified nod with a wide smile as I piled her duffle bag into the back of the van. It was early evening, maybe four-ish.
“Dad, why are we going to see Rosie again?” She asked sullenly almost as if calling her mom by her first name was a normal routine for her. I gave her a sharp glance and crossed my arms over my chest as we stood in the drive way of our home.
“Peasnie show your mom some respect.” I scolded her in a tough fatherly tone. Peasnie’s blue eyes met mine brightly but she wore a confused expression as the sun shone on her face.
“Why? She never showed it to you or me.” She told me the dead truth. I know Rosie left after trying to kidnap our daughter and then came back and tried to ruin my relationship with Bailey and then left again only to return with that fucking letter; but she deserves respect just like everyone else. I swallowed hard and nodded.
“You’re right,” I began. Peasnie’s eyes read victory. “-But at the end of the day she’s still your mom.” I added. Peasnie needs to know that even if someone treats you like utter shit, it doesn’t give you right to disrespect them because that’s stooping down to their level. You need to rise up and be the better person, like Zack always tells her; the best revenge is bettering yourself. And that’s one hundred percent true. It was quiet while I folded blankets and moved the duffle bags around a bit. But then I heard it, the small whimper that turned into a small sob. I stopped what I was doing and looked at Peasnie, she was so deep in thought she didn’t even realize she was crying.
“What’s wrong?” I asked quietly as I sat beside her in the van, my arm laced around her loosely. She bit her lip and looked up at me with glassy eyes that read broken.
“What if I get taken away from you and never see you again?” Her worries were my worries. I was terrified about potentially losing her. I have no clue what I’d do if that’s the case. She’s been apart of my life longer than her mother has. I swallowed and pulled her into my side.
“That’s not going to happen, I can promise you that.” No matter how many times I told her I was going to always be here for her no matter what and that I’m not going to lose her, she kept crying because she knows the difference between reality and fantasy; she knows that if there’s a will there’s a way. That’s supposed to be motivational but it’s not in this case. All I could do was cradled her in my arms and rock back and forth, trying to comfort her. I knew what I needed to do. Peasnie’s favourite movie was what came to my mind, Tarzan. We saw it in theaters on her sixth birthday. Then when we came back the guys surprised her with the VCR tape and sound track. She absolutely loved one song off of it; Phil Collins, You’ll be in My Heart. I guess that implied to how I felt about all this because if these lawyers and detectives say I’m an unsuitable parent the only way Peasnie will be with me is in my heart. So instead of trying to talk sense into her, I held her hand in mine tightly but not too tight since I’m fairly strong and I didn’t want to hurt her. Peasnie’s gaze flew up to meet mine instantly, her glassy reddened eyes were filled with fear but hope.
“Come stop your crying
It will be alright
Just take my hand
Hold it tight
I will protect you
From all around you
I will be here
Don't you cry
For one so small,
You seem so strong
My arms will hold you,
Keep you safe and warm
This bond between us
Can't be broken
I will be here
Don't you cry
'Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more
You'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be here in my heart, always
Why can't they understand the way we feel?
They just don't trust what they can't explain
I know we're different but deep inside us
We're not that different at all
And you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more
Don't listen to them
'Cause what do they know (what do they know)?
We need each other
To have, to hold.
They'll see in time
I know
When destiny calls you
You must be strong (you gotta be strong)
I may not be with you
But you've got to hold on
They'll see in time
I know
We'll show them together
'Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
I'll be there from this day on,
Now and forever more
Oh, you'll be in my heart (you'll be here in my heart)
No matter what they say (I'll be with you)
You'll be here in my heart (I'll be there), always
Always
I'll be with you
I'll be there for you always
Always and always
Just look over your shoulder
Just look over your shoulder
Just look over your shoulder
I'll be there always.”Every thing about that song screams Peasnie and me, our relationship. No matter what happens our bond can never be broken, it can never be damaged. Just singing her this simple song has brought so many tears to my eyes. I can’t think of a better way to show her that I will never forget about her no matter how many brothers or sisters she has or how many tours and albums we make. I will always consider her my number one lady. I guess our life is like that movie; I was a wild man living by my own rules until this girl comes along, she’s someone from a different planet and she teaches me how to be human. She shows me that a bond between a child and their parent can’t be broken; no matter what.
Peasnie’s hand was spread out in mine as her long but small fingers imprinted against mine. Her hand fit in my palm, fingers barely making it to the first joints. We didn’t say anything because all was said; I hugged her tightly before I helped Peasnie out of the van and closed the back doors. Peasnie and I went into the house, already exhausted at the mere thought of dealing with Rosie. I really don’t want to deal with her or the lawyers or CPS detectives. I just want this nightmare to be over. I can’t imagine what Peasnie’s going through; as many people can tell she’s a very smart kid so she knows what’s going on. She knows that the names Rosie and I call each other over the phone while we’re in a scrap; we mean those mean things even if I tell her I don’t mean what I tell her mom. Like my mom told me, I have a temper but it doesn’t come out alot but when it does, it comes out in a fiery wrath.
I felt a small smile cross my face when I saw Kier in his bouncy chair happily chilling out while watching Tarzan. She even has memorized the sound track and we’re bringing it to listen to it in the car. It was the beginning of the movie so Peasnie was singing the Phil Collins’ song; you’ll be in my heart. The song I just sang to her, she was using it to make Kier stop crying. It’s moments like these when you know you’re doing it right.