Author's Note: Aaand... this story comes to a close. :') Thank you all so much for reading, voting, and/or commenting! :D
~ Amina Gila
Being here with Obi-Wan – the only other conscious person even around – is a million kinds of awkward. It reminds her of the occasional times in the war together when Anakin was injured, and both of them stayed near him as long as they could. Until he woke up, or duties pulled them away. It isn't during the Clone Wars anymore, though. They are long past that.
She doesn't really know what to think of Obi-Wan anymore. At the end of the day, it was what he did in the Hardeen incident that made her start questioning everything. She won't blame her or Anakin's choices on him but that is still what triggered the beginning of it. And of course, there was when she was framed, when the only person who stood by her was Anakin.
But there's still a small part of her that has missed how things used to be with everyone. Those times are past, though.
She does her best to avoid him at first, because she doesn't even know what to say, and from the looks of it, he's feeling just as uncomfortable. But there's only so long she can pretend to be busy fussing over Anakin, Rex, and the other boys, before the medical droids kick her out.
"What are you going to do now?" Ahsoka asks finally, simply because the silence is becoming intolerable.
"What are you going to do? You are still a Sith," he replies, and she doesn't miss the underlying note of hostility.
"Just because I'm a Sith, that doesn't mean I supported what Sidious was doing," she snaps.
"Then why join him?"
Her temper flares instantly. "Did you not see enough of Sidious?" she hisses, "We couldn't just leave. Sidious will stop at nothing to keep Anakin with him. We came to help you, risking everything as soon as we could."
He doesn't argue the point, thankfully. "I was in contact with Senator Amidala," he comments, "She said the Empire now goes to Anakin."
"Yes, it does," Ahsoka agrees, trying to tone down on her anger.
"I can't imagine he'll be appreciative of that, unless his opinion on politics has changed," Obi-Wan comments.
No, not likely. She can't even imagine Anakin as Emperor. But Padme... "I imagine he'll hand it over to Padme, but I couldn't say."
Obi-Wan looks as though he's considering saying something else but decides better of it. It's awkward because it's like they don't know each other anymore. They only knew each other for the better part of three years, and they were never close. Now... it's more like they're awkward acquaintances. Maybe she'll just leave any further discussions about any of this for Anakin. He's the one who knew Obi-Wan for thirteen years, after all. It should be easier for the two of them. Probably.
***
Anakin is mildly surprised when Obi-Wan comes in to see him right after he wakes up – he honestly thought his former master wouldn't care to. Or that he'd simply feel too uncomfortable, or something, but he's here.
"Obi-Wan?" Anakin rasps, pushing himself up as best he can. He's exhausted but he can still move. The aftereffects of being electrocuted that badly are going to last for a while, and he knows he has a lot of new scars from it. Not that that's really a concern right now.
"How are you feeling?" Obi-Wan asks, moving to stand next to his bedside. His expression is far more closed off than it used to be, but he sounds genuinely concerned.
"I'll be fine," he answers, automatically.
"You almost died," Obi-Wan retorts, "And I do not believe you have been 'fine' for a long time."
Anakin looks down. He doesn't know what to say to that. It is true. Frankly, he doesn't know the last time he ever was. Maybe the last time he was in his mother's arms. But he can hardly say any of that to Obi-Wan. Not even if they hadn't been separate for an entire year, long enough that it's making everything... even more complicated.
"I saw what Sidious was like," Obi-Wan continues, after a pause.
Anakin really doesn't want to talk about this. Any of this. He feels completely emotionally exhausted, and he hasn't recovered from how close he came to watching Obi-Wan and Ahsoka be killed in front of him. By Sidious who he... He's glad that he's gone, that they're free. (So, why is there a very small part of him that still misses Palpatine?) "I thought he would be... better than this."
"I was referring to how he... treated you, but yes. Why did you join him?" he asks.
"I... was having visions," Anakin explains, slowly. It's not as if telling Obi-Wan will make him reject Anakin any more than he already has, right? "Of Padme dying in childbirth. Ahsoka saw it too. I... I couldn't let that happen."
"You thought becoming a Sith would stop that from happening?"
"Palpatine promised to help her. I didn't know what else to do. Master Yoda already refused to help me." It still fills him with bitterness, and he's always let that fuel him. It's not so easy when he's facing Obi-Wan, though. He wants to pretend that it doesn't matter, but he doesn't want to give his master a reason to reject him entirely. "He told me of a Sith Legend, and the next thing I knew, the Jedi were committing treason. I didn't know what else we could do."
"He was the Sith. We had to stop him," Obi-Wan retorts.
"I saw Windu about to kill him unarmed," Anakin argues, "It – he was about to break the Code, and the laws of the Republic, and I didn't know what else to do."
"And your solution was to break the Code even more?"
Guilt twists sharply in him, and he looks away. It's – a constant part of him now, and he knows he can't let it go. It's why he can't let go of the Dark Side either. "I – will not excuse my actions, Master."
Obi-Wan shifts next to him. He still feels upset, and... that's not surprising. He probably always will be. It hurts, but Anakin doesn't know what he can do about it. "What do you intend to do with the Empire?"
Right. Right. He hasn't even had time to think about that yet. "I – I don't know."
"Ahsoka said you would probably turn it over to Padme." It sounds like that's what he wants, and Anakin doesn't really know what else he would do, anyway. Although he knows that Padme won't leave it an Empire, and he doesn't know if that's really a good thing or not. Sidious was a terrible Emperor, but the system could have worked. It's truthfully the only thing that kept the galaxy from shattering completely in the aftermath of the Clone Wars.
"I will talk to her about it," Anakin decides finally. It's almost surreal, having Obi-Wan next to him again. He didn't realize how much he missed him. He never thought he would have this again. He – he doesn't know how Obi-Wan has been or anything. It doesn't feel like he should have the right to ask after everything that's gone down between them – after how he betrayed everything Obi-Wan taught him, but...
"What are you going to do now?" Anakin asks, hesitantly.
"The Jedi are still considered traitors," Obi-Wan replies, voice hard.
"With Sidious gone, that may... change." Maybe. The Jedi were declared traitors for a reason. It may have to be up to the Senate to decide.
"What are you going to do?" Obi-Wan demands, "You're still a Sith."
Anakin swallows. "Yes. I am."
"Why?" he questions, voice hard, "I know what you told me, but Sidious is gone. Why hold onto this?"
"How could I let it go? You know what the Jedi teach of that."
"You have done the impossible before," Obi-Wan argues, "And you killed the Sith – the only one left is you."
Obi-Wan just wants him back, doesn't he? Is that what this is? He doesn't know, but something twists sharp and painful in his chest. "I can't, Master," Anakin says, quietly, "I don't..."
"Why not?"
"All dark emotions fuel it. I cannot just let them go."
"Can't or won't?" he retorts.
"I don't know how. It's not..."
"What?"
Because he doesn't deserve to be anymore. Because he doesn't.... anything. "I can't be a Jedi after what I did to them."
Obi-Wan's expression hardens. "Perhaps not," he agrees, stiffly.
He – he needs to say this, even if he's rejected. It will hurt more than words could ever say, but – At least he'll still have Ahsoka, Padme, and his children. (It will never make up for Obi-Wan, though.) "I'm sorry, Master," Anakin says quietly, trying to force himself to hold Obi-Wan's gaze, hard as that is, "I know that will never be adequate for what I did, but – I am. If you want us to stay apart – I – I understand." He swallows back how choked up he feels, forcing himself to keep talking. "But I – want us to stay with each other. If that's what you want."
Obi-Wan is quiet for an agonizingly long moment. "It doesn't change what you did," he agrees, "But... I would like for us to be with each other."
"You'll come to Coruscant?" Anakin asks, daring to sound hopeful.
"Yes," he concedes, studying him almost speculatively. Anakin hates the distance between them now – but at least this is the first step to changing it. He doesn't know if it'll ever be the same – maybe that's for the best, he doesn't know – but he knows he'll never be complete without Obi-Wan, no matter if he has the rest of his family.
Anakin's mechanical arm twitches suddenly, involuntarily, an after effect of the lightning.
Obi-Wan frowns, very visible concern obvious for the first time. "You can rest now, Anakin."
He's tempted to refuse, only because he doesn't want him to go. "I'm fine," he objects, again.
"Then you would not be in here at all," Obi-Wan retorts, "You were electrocuted badly, Anakin. You need to rest."
He sighs, nodding quietly and shifting to lay down, but really, he just doesn't want his master to leave yet. He won't ask him to stay, though. Obi-Wan reaches down, tugging the blanket partly over him. "Are you alright, Master?" Anakin blurts finally.
His expression softens for a moment, and he reaches over, lightly touching his arm. "Yes. Rest now. And once you are healed, we can return to Coruscant together."
Everything is far from solved, but this is a start, and Anakin feels a strange... happiness in him that he hasn't felt in a long time. Not since before... everything.
***
Ahsoka makes a beeline to Anakin's side the moment she hears he's awake again. He looks exhausted, but he's alive, and she doesn't think there's ever been a moment she was more terrified than when Sidious was electrocuting Anakin. She's still hardly sure how her master did manage to kill the Sith, but – this is Anakin.
"Master," she breaths, dropping onto the side of his bed and wrapping her arms tightly around him. He pulls her close, chin pressing against the area between her montrals. She's getting a little big for him to hold her like that, not that it matters right now.
"Are you alright, Snips?" Anakin asks.
"You're the one who's been in a medbay for days!"
"I know you were injured in the fight," Anakin points out.
"Nothing significant," Ahsoka assures, burrowing into his side. She'd been able to take care of the first aid herself, "Can we go home now?" It's all she wants to do. The fight is finally over – it still doesn't feel real – and there's a lot left to do for the galaxy, but at least they no longer need to fear being torn apart.
"Yes," he agrees, "We can. Padme will be waiting. And Obi-Wan is coming."
"He is?" Ahsoka questions, perking up. "You two talked?"
Anakin nods. "We did. He will stay."
It's going to be strange, having him back. "Even though we're Sith? That's going to be... I'm glad, but –"
"I know," Anakin agrees, "We still have much to discuss with him." He looks happier, she can tell, happier than she's seen him in a long time.
"It worked," Ahsoka says, almost dreamily, "I can't believe it."
"Yes," he concurs, but there's a slight edge there. He sounds more... not unhappy, but she doesn't know how happy he is either. He cares for Sidious, Ahsoka knows, even if he also hates him, so she knows it might be... hard.
She doesn't know what she could say to him though, so for now, she's just content to stay in his arms.
***
Being back on Coruscant is relieving. Ahsoka had feared they may not all make it back, but here they are. It's close enough. It's more than she expected.
"Anakin, Ahsoka," Padme says, brightening instantly, "It's so good to see you."
"Mom," Ahsoka murmurs, a smile spreading across her face, and she runs to her mother, wrapping her arms around her. Anakin joins them half a step behind, an arm around each of them, and Ahsoka can only take a moment to marvel that no matter how broken and twisted this family is, they're still together. Not even Sidious was able to take them apart.
"I was so worried," Padme breathes.
"We all were," Ahsoka answers, tilting her head back to look up at Anakin. She feels free, and it's... overwhelming. Relieving. The worst of it is over now; there's nothing more she can ask for. It's all they've ever longed for.
"I didn't know if – if you'd make it back," she admits, and Ahsoka can acutely feel her fear.
"We're alright," Anakin assures her, as if it needed to be restated. To be fair, it is still sinking in.
"I know," Padme agrees, sighing, though she still looks happy, "But I don't think you have been for a long time. I know what... Sidious had you do wasn't easy."
There's so much of Sidious it's better if Padme never knows. She knows they were forced into it, but she has no idea how much. (She doesn't know much they were tortured, either.) "It's the past now," Ahsoka replies, "I don't want to think about it right now."
"Why don't we go to the living room, and I have Threepio make some hot chocolate," Padme suggests, "The twins are already asleep, but tonight may be the last free night we have, before I'm busy with the Empire."
Padme really has no idea what the word 'free' means to both of them right now. It's filling Ahsoka with a strange sense of giddiness, almost, that she won't have to answer to anyone anymore. She needs to speak with Lux about... everything at some point, though, but it doesn't have to be tonight.
Tonight, they'll spend the first free night since before the Empire formed together and happy.
"Yes," Anakin concurs, immediately, so they settle on the couch, waiting.
It's going to be busy with Padme as Empress, but at least they're together, and they won't need to worry about being torn apart again.
***
Lux didn't realize how scared he was of Ahsoka actually not coming back until she's standing outside his apartment door. "Ahsoka," he breathes, relief flooding him, instantly pulling her into a hug. "I was so worried."
"Me too," she replies, voice muffled, "But we're okay. We won."
"I heard." It feels like a dream that's still sinking in. He feels almost wary to be this hopeful after how... admittedly disappointed he was when joining the Republic, but this time, it actually feels like there may be a chance for things to get better.
They go to sit on the couch together, Lux just letting himself enjoy her being with him again, after he was so terrified she might never come back. But then he notices that she's suddenly looking a little... nervous, almost. "What is it?"
"I..." Ahsoka looks down. "What I was saying about what I needed to tell you."
He's really been wondering what that could be. "What?"
She takes a deep breath, staring at some indistinct point past him, and that's never a good sign. Ahsoka doesn't act like that. She's never so... nervous around people. Even if she has been changing a lot since everything fell apart, and Lux really didn't like the changes. "I... I know you know about what Sidious was having us to do, but it was worse than you know."
He sucks in a sharp breath. "What do you mean?"
"We – I – He had us destroy the Jedi. All of them. We hunted them down for a year now, and so many died, and – " Ahsoka cuts herself off, turning away.
He feels a strange numbness spread through him at the words. He knew it was bad, but... "I suspected," Lux admits finally. "I just didn't know what to do." He knows it's not her fault, but it's still... hard to hear that she did it.
She doesn't reply, body suddenly shaking with sobs.
What?
And he's never seen her cry before. Lux leans closer, pulling her into his arms, and she clings to him tightly.
"It'll be okay," he promises.
"No, it isn't. It can't never be again," Ahsoka chokes out.
"Then we can make it better," he replies, grip tightening, "Hating yourself for your mistakes will only make it impossible to leave them behind. I think you should tell Anakin that too." He knows whatever it is that's going on, they're both struggling with it.
And Lux knows well what it's like to make stupid mistakes – like Carlac. He nearly ended up as a terrorist there.
She sniffles against his shoulder, saying nothing, and he just waits in silence, holding her. He thinks that's what she needs most right now.
***
Being back on Coruscant, without feeling Sidious constantly, is jarring. He's really gone, and it feels unreal. (It was his duty, so why does he feel so guilty?) Anakin did turn the Empire over to Padme, and Obi-Wan is here, too, so that's something.
"I'm glad that you're back... Anakin," Lux greets.
It's also nice to be called his real name again, the name his mother gave him instead of the one his master did. "We're free now," Anakin replies. He doesn't underestimate how much Lux has been looking forwards to this. He can sense it. He understands it, too, because he was in this place with Padme. And he can certainly understand why someone would... want Ahsoka. She's brilliant, she's determined, she's fearless. "If – if you and Ahsoka want to... make it real, I will support you," he says solemnly.
He looks briefly surprised, then smiles. "Thank you," Lux replies, "I don't know if she's ready, but I..."
"It's your choices to make. I'll support you, either way." And it is – this is going to be Ahsoka's choice, and he would like to see her happy, even if it feels like she's too young to take such a step. She always will, though, but more than that, he doesn't know if she's ready for a step that drastic with everything they went through because of Sidious.
"I need to think about it," Lux says, giving him a small smile, "And I will talk to her about it."
Anakin nods. "Whenever you're ready."
"I should thank you," Lux adds after a pause, "You and Ahsoka helped save... everything. It's something the entire Senate never could have done."
"We're only doing what we should have long ago." What we should have done as Jedi.
"Still," Lux says, "Ahsoka didn't know if... you'd come back, so I know it must have been... hard."
One of the hardest things he's ever had to do, not that he'll say so. "Sidious was powerful," he concedes.
"I'm just glad you're alright." He hesitates a moment. "Have you heard what the Senate is saying about it?"
"Padme believed it safer if the details of it did not become public," Anakin replies.
"Yeah," Lux agrees, "They want an investigation, but there's some people who are just... happy he's gone. The Empire could have helped, but never with him ruling."
It makes him feel a little better to hear, and for once, Anakin has the feeling that things may finally get better.
He's confident they will, now that most of his family is back together again.
***
"I've been thinking," Ahsoka comments, standing near the doorway of her bedroom as she watches the others in the living room. The twins are fascinated with Obi-Wan's existence, and Anakin looks to be having too much fun with it. Padme is gone, busy dealing with her new Empress work. Her and Anakin agreed they can't immediately retransform the Empire, but it means she'll be very busy, for a while.
"About what?" Lux asks, smiling in faint amusement as he watches the circus in the next room.
"I know we're a little young for this," Ahsoka replies, suddenly feeling more than a little nervous, "But I... want to go forwards. I want to get married. I want this to be real." And she wants that more than she's wanted almost everything, partly because it would mean moving on from Sidious, and even if she's also quite nervous about what this will mean, she wants to do it. "Padme says she's already making preparations."
"You've told your parents?" he queries, smiling.
It's almost contagious and she smiles back. They're not quite as young as they were when they first met, but it's changed nothing.
They have a chance to go forwards, to shake off the chains Sidious bound them with, and she wants that. Maybe they could leave Coruscant, too, though she can't really imagine a life not central to war. Even if she's just as much tired of fighting.
"Yes, I did. They want me to move on from everything. I do, too. I can never forget what we've been through, but this feels more as if I can move on."
"I understand that," Lux assures, taking her hand, "I... felt much the same after my parents died. I knew Dooku killed my mother, but it wasn't easy to accept. My mother respected him. So did I."
Ahsoka winces. Before, she couldn't understand that, but now, Anakin is experiencing something similar. To a point, so is she, though she never actually looked up to Palpatine. She respected him because Anakin did, but that was all. "At least I can understand where you're coming from now," she replies – no one can understand what terrible choices are better than her and Anakin.
But really? Even if she will never forgive herself for everything that happened, and even if it sometimes feels like she doesn't deserve to be happy after everything that happened – she destroyed the Jedi Order, and they were her home, even if they did betray her – she is happy to move on. Her parents keep telling her that it's something they'll all inevitably need to do, even if it's hard. She's wanted it for so long, and now there's nothing to hold them back, except fear, and for as nervous as she is, she won't let that stop them.
Not now, not ever – she's not a Jedi anymore. She's a Skywalker. There's nothing she could want more than that.
Final Notes: If you want to join our Discord to receive updates or just hang out, here's the invite link, and please delete the spaces! :) discord . gg / nqSxuz2
You can find us on tumblr at @fanfictasia (which is our more serious blog which does have controversial posts on it; I won't be offended if you choose to block it, promise), and @disastertriowriting (which is our fun blog with crack posts or incorrect SW quotes; we also advertise our SW gift exchanges on there)
And! We have a YT channel for tributes! Please delete the spaces in the link. :D youtube . com / channel / UC_g1M5rSCxJUzQCRS29B6pA
Finally, if you're interested, you can submit a SW gift fic request via the following form (delete the spaces): forms . gle / rmXWtRomMMaULuPa6