It seems like air was knocked out of me. The words of my mother telling me to never speak to him is ringing through my ears, paining me and aching my heart, though a voice at the back of my mind keeps telling me that they are just words, that I don't have to tell her anything again, that she will not know that I will definitely see Louis again.
I feel my eyes burning with tears, though I refuse to let them roll down my cheeks. I will not cry. Not with her here, and definitely not in front of my father. However, I feel a hot tear rolling down my cheek but I quickly wipe it away. Even though I will not listen to my mother, and I will probably fall even more for Louis and cause myself so many troubles, it feels like my heart is breaking tortuously, piece by piece, just to make me feel how painful it is.
Do you ever get that feeling, when you feel like your heart is slowly breaking, and then the rest of it just falls down to the floor so fast? So fast that you don't even get the chance to blink? I felt that when the words left my mother's mouth. And standing right here, watching as my mother kisses my father's cheek and grins at him, watching their little happy moment and Cronan running up to them, I feel like my world is crashing over me, I feel like I don't belong to this perfect and happy picture, even if it is about such a little thing.
But it is not a little thing. That is Louis, the man who stole my heart in the blink of an eye, and my mother, who just demanded me not to see him again. How can something like that be little? If anything, I'm the one who is feeling so small and little right now. I try to gather myself and put on my widest grin as I walk right up to my father and greet him.
"How was work?" I ask him as my mother places the food that I made on the dinner table.
He takes a seat at the head of the table and I sit down, too. "It was good; eventful, but good."
I nod with a small smile before I feel Cronan sitting down on the chair next to me; I look down at him in confusion. He only sits next to me when he wants something from me. As if on cue, he sneakily tries to gain my attention by tapping on my leg under the table. I lean down and ask him, "What do you want?"
"Are you going to the city tonight?" He asks in a hushed tone and I look at my father and mother – who look like they are having a serious conversation – before looking back at my little brother.
"Why are you asking?" My voice is just as hushed as his. No one knows what will happen if my parents knew about me going to the city almost every night.
"I want that orange thing you brought me last time." He says, nervously biting his nails.
I smile a little, "Do you mean the Cheetos?"
His eyes immediately lights up and he begins moving his head up and down repeatedly in excitement, "Yes, that's its name."
I chuckle quietly and ruffle his hair before nodding, "Alright, I'll bring you one tonight."
The rest of the day goes by rather quickly and I'm thankful, I feel even luckier when I notice that midnight is just three hour away. Just three more hours and I will see Louis. He always stays in the shop until two in the morning or something, which I'm also thankful for. Earlier, I have changed into my black jeans and put on a light blue shirt, and warmed myself with the black leather jacket, since that it is a little cold outside.
Even though we live in our small and secret village, and we don't have any type of connection with the people outside, and we certainly aren't provided with the things that people in the city are provided with, we are fully aware of everything happening around us. We know how science is now at its finest, and how people are crazy about technology and all the weird phones they are having.
I guess from going to the city too much, and our parents visiting it every now and then, we managed to copy their clothes style and some of their science, along with some technology that we are now using in The Sector, which reminds me of starting my lessons and trainings there after a week. I'm a bit nervous, but I guess having Niall and Harry there will make it better, though I highly doubt that, seeing as they are not really with me.
My parents said their good nights about half an hour ago, and Cronan went to bed, too – after he reminded me to bring him the Cheetos. I don't know if the shops in the city stay open until midnight, but I hope for Cronan's sake that they are. When I make sure that my parents are now far away in their sleep, I step inside my black boots and sneak out of the cottage.
When I reach the Midnight Gate, I quickly spot Wren and Esme waiting for me.
"Are you coming with us to the city or are you stalking your guy again?" Esme questions as we climb the walls.
"Both," I answer once we make it to the woods. "Cronan wants Cheetos and I need to see Louis."
"You see him every night, and you saw him this morning. Why can't you just join us this time?" Wren whines as she asks me.
"Because I told my mother about him, and she demanded me to never see him again." I inform them and they both stop in their tracks and gasp.
"You what?" They both say in unison.
I roll my eyes and pull them to keep walking, "Yes, I told her and it was the stupidest decision ever."
"She must have yelled at you or something." Wren speaks as we continue our path.
"Yelled? Guys, she didn't say a single word, literally. I thought I was going to piss my pants." I admit. Even getting yelled at by my mother would have been better than what had happened.
"Well, what did she say?" Esme asks, hooking her arm with mine.
"That I must end whatever it is, and to never see him again." I tell them. Just thinking about that aches my heart, yet pleases me somehow, because I know that I will never, ever, listen to my mother and that I will always keep seeing him, especially since that I heard his voice and actually talked with him.
"And you won't do that, obviously." Esme says and Wren rolls her eyes.
"Of course," I shrug. "I can't bring myself to do it anyway."
"Sometimes I think that you are really obsessed with him." Wren says, and I nearly scoff at her. Of fucking course I am. Though it's not the bad kind of obsession, it is only because I love him too much.
"Sometimes? She is really obsessed with him." Esme laughs and I silence the both of them, because it is starting to get annoying. I don't like to be the centre of attention anyway.
I don't know if I will keep watching him behind the tree or go to his shop and pretend that I want another tattoo. Though, I quickly decide that I will watch him behind the tree, he might think that I'm stalking him, especially since that I saw him this morning, and he might think that I can't stay away from him, and then he might start thinking that I'm a total freak and weird and he will hate me.
Not that any of that is false. I am indeed stalking him – only because I can't seem to spend a day or a night without seeing him – and I really can't stay away from him, and above all of that, I'm weird and a bit freaky if I have to admit. Till this day, I have no idea why did I fall that hard for him, he didn't do anything, he didn't speak to me, he didn't look at me, he didn't touch me, anything. He didn't do anything, and I fell for him as fast as a fucking rocket, and that pisses me off, yet makes me happy.
Everything that is happening right now both pleases me and pisses me off, there's no in between.
Soon, I realise that we reached the edge of the forest, and from here, I can see his shop's lights on, and I thank Lyara that he is here. However, as we get nearer and reach the tree, we gasp at the sight of him, smashing and breaking things in his shop. He looks so angry. I have never seen him like that, I have seen the happy side of him, the playful side, the sad and down side, even the mad side, but never this angry side of him, and worries me a lot.
I fear that he may hurt himself or cause some damage inside his shop. He needs to stop, or he will surely hurt himself. He looks so furious that I can't even wrap my mind around the picture that is in front of me. Papers are being thrown in the air, what looks like books are being torn away, the paintings on the wall are thrown to ground and smashed by his feet, and it is not until I see him breaking the vases and green bottles that I snap out of my frozen place.
"I have to stop him," I barely whisper, not even averting my eyes from his figure.
"Are you sure? You might get hurt or so—" Esme begins but I quickly cut her off.
"I won't, but he will, and I won't stand here watching him getting hurt." I say, shaking my head slightly.
"Well, we can wait for you if you want?" Wren asks in uncertainty.
"No, you guys go," I wave them off and they nod. "Just bring Cheetos for Cronan if you can, alright?"
"Yeah sure," Esme mumbles. "Just be careful."
"I will." I say and watch as they both walk away and leave. I swallow the lump in my throat and tuck a strand of my hair behind my ears. I have to stop him. He is still crashing things and breaking the entire shop, and I can tell that he is screaming furiously, and I guess he will not stop until he actually hurts himself, and I have to be there before that happens.
I take a deep breath and walk as fast as I can towards his shop. As I near it, the loud sound of crashing and glass shattering rings in my ears, making me literally run towards it. As soon as I reach it, I push the door open and stand breathless in front of him, even though I did absolutely nothing, I find my heart beating so fast and I find myself finding it hard to breathe.
The whole floor is covered in pieces of papers, glass, and destroyed paintings. Some bottles of ink are now wasted away on the floor. The shop is a complete mess, and when I lay my eyes on him, I feel my heart literally sinking. His arm is fully covered in blood, and his knuckles are opened and bleeding, too.
"What..." My voice comes out lower than a whisper. I look at him with wide eyes and my mouth open, just like he is staring at me.
"What are you doing here?" He asks, not in a rude or a harsh way, but more like a very shocked and surprised one.
"I was..." Oh, nothing, I was just stalking you like every night, and I happened to find you destroying everything. "I was just passing by... When... When I heard the noise."
He sighs heavily and runs a hand over his face before tugging on his hair harshly. "I'm sorry for the noise. You can leave now."
I don't though, not before this mess is gone and he is cleaned. I choose to ignore him kicking me out and I ask him, "Are you okay?"
"Yes, I am. You can leave now." He repeats, more sternly this time.
I ignore him again, "Do you have a bathroom in here?"
"I don't know how to say that in a nice way, but you need to leave." He says, glaring at me.
"I'm Tallulah if you can't remember me; I came this morning for a tattoo." I remind him, nervously.
"I know." He sighs.
Cautiously, I take a few steps towards him as he stares at me and I carefully take his arm that is covered in blood in my hand. There is a big cut across his arm and a glass in it, but thankfully it is not deep. Noticing the box of tissues on the table, I take one and carefully bring it to the glass inside his flesh.
"What are you...?" He begins but quickly hisses when I take the glass out of his flesh.
"Let's get you cleaned up." I say and step away.
He looks up at me and stares; he does absolutely nothing but stare. I find myself slowly falling in love with him, all over again. His blue eyes are just wide and so pure, that it makes you stand speechless in front of it.
I have never been in love before. Not before him; Louis. I guess I didn't really find it interesting, I never knew how it feels like to love and to be loved. But now that I know how it feels like to be in love with someone, I never want to stop loving. Because that man, that blue eyed man, has me captivated for him, and I love it.
"Okay." He quietly replies.
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