ALEX KNEW THAT nightmares had plagued her through the whole night, and was actually surprised they'd held off that long. Usually her head started processing the bad stuff right away, tossing her into a few rough nights before settling down. She remembered grinning faces in the water, hands wrapped around her legs and holding her down, and the holy woman at the village where she'd been enslaved swinging that damn club at her and breaking her rib. At the end of both horrors Ixillius had been there, too, and they'd been able to talk to and understand each other. She couldn't remember what they'd said, but it had been a nice fantasy. Other shadows of fighting still clung to her, but she didn't remember any details.
She uncurled her fingers off his arm, her hands stiff from holding on probably for most of the night. Her throat felt constricted, and the sweat that was dried on her skin wasn't comfortable when she tried to move.
"Alex?" Ixillius was awake instantly, his arms tightening almost on reflex around her shoulders and hips, pinning her arms, as his leg locked both of hers down.
"Easy, there, soldier," she said, her level of relief surprising that he'd apparently stopped her from hurting herself last night, and from thrashing him. "Looks like it was a fight-night, huh?"
Her ex-husband, Jeremy, just slept on the couch when she had fight-nights back when they'd been dating and then married.
She flexed a bit and he loosened his grip, seeing her eyes were open. The one lamp he'd left lit was still burning, rather low, but burning, and she was able to see the strain on his face when she rolled over. She smiled weakly, not feeling all that much like smiling, just grateful to be waking up here with him. There were a lot worse places to wake up.
He said something she didn't catch. So much for the nice fantasy. She closed her eyes and just snuggled in his arms, letting the nightmares fade away. She'd been put in therapy as a kid after her gigno had disappeared, and there wasn't anything in her dreams then or now that would have suggested anything worse than a bad scare and some stressful situations. Kind of a no-brainer. She'd been diagnosed early as being cursed with a stable mind. In hindsight, she could easily blame that on her gigno.
Thinking about home, she wondered how her folks had made it work between them. Her momma had been a total city lady, heading out to the family cabin on holidays, teaching at whatever university she landed a job with that year, living in little rented apartments cluttered with books and the occasional roommate. Then her gigno showed up. They'd always told the story that he'd been a foreign student, too drunk to remember the local language or find his way home after a costume party, and she'd let him sleep on the floor in her living room. They'd lived out at her family's cabin for the first years, staying out of the city but close enough to get to hospitals and doctor appointments while Alex was still young, then they'd started moving around. Alex's momma taught her schooling, her gigno taught them both everything else.
They were in Canada when her momma died, and after that Alex and her gigno just drifted around. When the authorities would catch up to them, they'd take Alex away or she and her gigno would drift somewhere else. He was good at just living. She'd had a hard time of it after he was gone and she'd had to get along with the modern world, but after waking up here – in this now – she was pretty grateful for living as they had. She revisited her initial thought of punching her gigno as hard as she could as soon as she saw him if he was here, and decided to maybe pull it a bit. Maybe just a slap. Definitely a hug after, though. She missed him, she admitted.
As Ixillius started to softly snore, her brain fired up on all cylinders. She and her gigno weren't the only ones jumping around the timeline. She rehashed the past two years of conversations in passing and before or after random intercourse, recalling as many details as she could dredge up. Mark hadn't been a great interest in her life – mostly he was a dildo with a pulse if she had to be honest – and a lot of details were missing. It was just that he was easily and consistently available when she needed a sexual release. And she really did love Max. Verus had been the right person to show Max to, she thought, smiling at the way the officer had latched on to the big stallion, his frowns at the old scars and new wounds, and his open amazement at Big Man's abilities.
Then her thoughts turned to the letter that Verus had sent to Ixillius about Mark. She didn't know what it said, but had watched Ixillius read it three times then set it aside so guessed it was just a narrative of the events with Big Man Max. And he'd said that it was a situation that was to be dealt with today, so at least there wasn't immediate trouble. She'd been relieved that Ixillius hadn't been mad at her for going out – she was going to have to let him know why she'd left the room, and thank him for sending Quintus. The soldier who'd called her Mrs. Traversi ...
There were too many things going on inside her head. The here and now with Ixillius was pretty awesome, but it didn't feel like a reality she could trust because she wasn't able to be honest. Her gigno had traveled ahead in time, she was certain of it, but she didn't know how or why. She was now certain that Mark had traveled ahead as well, no how or why there either. She had traveled back in time, to the same era that her dad was from, but she didn't know what year it actually was in the time she was in right now, and still no how or why. Her gigno could be here, or long dead – or not even born yet! – for all she actually knew. But now Mark had also traveled back, and he'd somehow brought Max, pinpointing exactly to when Alex was here. That meant he had a deeper knowledge of the how, and maybe an answer to why.
A sick feeling settled in her gut that maybe being able to hop times was a family thing, and then she remembered that her gigno had no family of his own when he'd married her momma, and had sometimes worried about his lack of siblings and cousins causing problems with his father's property. If it was a family thing, at least it was a distant family thing. Still pretty gross, though. She had a lot of questions that she was going to need to sort out, and then try and figure out how to get invited to help find Mark so that she could get her questions answered once she had them figured.
She needed to clear her head so she could get her thoughts straight. Ixillius woke up as soon as she started moving to try and untangle from him. It took a few minutes of gestured conversation and physical maneuvering to get out of bed and convince him to stay in it. She knew it was too early to be awake, he had to as well, and if the news yesterday that had kept him out so late was any guide, he would need what little sleep he could get. He didn't look happy about staying put, but at least he quit arguing with her.
Alex filled the wash basin and cleaned the nightmare sweat off her skin and out of her hair. She still felt injured today, but better after washing. Most likely she could thank Ixillius for the sleep she had gotten. She doubted she'd feel half as good in a few hours when the exhaustion kicked back in, but right now she needed to get her body moving to try and pace her mind. She did some light stretching to settle her racing thoughts and dry off her skin, then got dressed.
Ixillius was still awake, watching her. She chided him lightly as she came close to the bed, trying to convince him to go back to sleep as she picked up the collar from where he'd dropped it last night. No good forgetting to be wearing it when Brasus came by with breakfast, she didn't need anyone beyond Quintus and Ixillius doting on Ixillius's affections for her.
His hand shot out from under the blanket and closed firmly around her wrist, stopping her from being able to stand. He regarded her strangely, letting her straighten after a moment, but not releasing her. She tugged gently to pull her hand back, holding the collar, but he still held on. He tried to pluck it out of her hand, so she closed her fingers into a fist around it.
"Alex, non," he said, irritated. He sat up and threw the blanket off, glaring up at her. "Domina Traversi."
"You're seriously going to start that shit again?" she asked, meeting his glare with one of her own. She rolled her wrist out of his hand, just like every self-defense class she'd ever taken or taught had demonstrated, and stepped back. She wasn't out of his reach, but she was out of his hand. The look on his face immediately registered from irritated to 'challenge accepted' and he stood up.
***
He'd expected her to at least back up, be intimidated, something. But she just stood her ground and went back to putting on the collar. He grabbed her wrist again, and she twisted it away from him. It was like trying to hold a fist full of water, only infuriating.
"No, Alex," he said, this time just interfering as she tried to buckle the collar, managing to get one of his hands wrapped around the end so she couldn't fit them together. "No."
"Ixillius owns Alex," she stated, trying to pry his fingers off. "Quintus says 'Lady Traversi', Alex says no."
"Quintus, yes, he said that," Ixillius answered, pulling the collar out of her hands and holding it out of her reach above his head. "And Brasus said it, and today all of Bonna will say it," he added, wrapping his free arm loosely around her waist, admiring her determination through his anger at her refusal. "And Ixillius, I say Lady Traversi."
She hung her weight on his arm that held the collar.
"Alex says no," she refused again through gritted teeth. Frustration at his immobility, physical pain and flaring anger flashed across her face when her own injuries stopped her from further attempts at reaching the collar.
"Lady Traversi. Alex Traversi," he reiterated as she dropped off his arm that was above his head and tried to push out of the arm that encircled her, but he held on. "Alex Traversi."
"No. Alex says no," she crossed her arms out of sheer stubbornness and glared up at him.
Everything about her was willing towards him, her sex, her conversation, her loyalty. So what was wrong with his name?
"Alex Traversi," he said again, and she turned her eyes from his face and stared up at the collar. "Alex Traversi," he repeated, growing furious, but she didn't budge.
***
Alex fumed. It wasn't like she could explain anything to him, she didn't have the words and he wouldn't let her go so she could try and figure out how to draw it for him. Being a wife meant a whole package that she didn't have. She already had one failed marriage to prove it, and she and Jeremy had dated for three years prior to tying the knot, not three days.
Her infertility hadn't bothered him when they were dating, but it was a big deal once the vows were done. She'd had more doctor appointments, tests, and investigations than Scotland Yard ordered after a Ripper attack.
She wasn't sterile, but women who had one or two periods a year didn't get to have kids in any type of easy capacity. So Jeremy had knocked up Cindy, her old roommate from university, and then left Alex struggling under the financial debt of her half of the divorce while Cindy's rich father supported his new son-in-law completely.
"Alex Traversi," Ixillius was nearly growling now.
He was past pissed at her. He'd be more angry and disappointed later, though, when her reality came crashing down on him and there was no heir to his family. With or without a legal contract to holding his name, or however they did it back in the now, she doubted he would keep her long as a wife once he knew the truth. Also, she was a slave, and from the amount of people that stopped and waited for him yesterday on the way to see Verus, he wasn't in that social class. She knew enough from her history class that husband/wife stuff was social class related.
She thought about the weird reactions of the two slaves in the village when they'd learned her father's name. He may not want her once he knew that bit of information, either. It was better to end this sham now rather than later, even if she did end up shackled to the rest of the general slaves. She'd deal with that when it happened. Being a private booty supplier to Ixillius she could deal with, easily and happily, but that was it.
He threw the collar across the room, and buried his now free hand into the half wet mass of tangles she was calling her hair this morning. She relaxed her neck so he could move it freely, anticipating that he was going to wrench her face back toward his. He surprised her by just holding her against his bare chest, tenderly throwing her way off balance.
"Alexandria," he said, quietly. "Alexandria Traversi."
She felt her breath rush out. Where the... She must've been talking in her sleep. Sometimes she did after the nightmares, her gigno and her ex had both told her so. But about what? She remembered the fantasy about talking with and understanding Ixillius, then the echoes last evening of the Latin words her gigno had used. Had she actually been talking to him last night in her sleep, using a long forgotten language that was coming back now that it was needed?
"Alexandria Traversi."
Oh fuck her name sounded good rumbling through his chest. He said it like her gigno did, the "x" hard without the lazy "s" sound in the middle that speakers in her time always added. He said it right. She shuddered.
She had to get away from this. From him. She needed to be moving. She had to clear her head.
"Non," she stated with vehemence.
She started twisting, pushing, trying to work away from him. He held fast, gently.
"Alexandria," he was almost pleading
She fought back against his now calm, pounding at his body with fists and elbows, her feet working just to get her clear of him. Then the word she needed floated up from her memories.
"Aufer," she said, pushing his arm away and knocking his hand loose from where it was holding her head. "Aufer!" She knocked him away, turning immediately so she didn't have to see the look on his face.
She needed to be moving. She had to clear her head. There was too much in there this morning.
With the speed of many years of training, redoubled with adrenaline, she ducked under his reach and scooped up the fallen collar. He nearly caught her as she jerked the door open, but she didn't need it open far and was out and slamming it shut before he could get into a position to stop her. The crisp air of the hall slammed into her, but she knew if she could run for just a few minutes she'd be warm enough long enough to settle her thoughts. She tightened the collar around her throat as she descended the stairs and stepped into the dark street, surprising the few early-risers near enough to notice her.
She could hear Ixillius scrambling. She didn't have a lot of time, if he followed her it wouldn't be much of a contest. She set her pace in respect to her screaming rib and aching body, letting the frosty mud against her bare feet and the thump of her heart dictate the direction she set off in.
She just needed to be moving.