Chris stood up when he heard the bathroom door open. It had been hellish sitting in the living room listening to the shower running. He'd started to worry when she seemed to be taking so very long. Now, as she came down the hallway carrying her dirty clothes, he understood why the shower had been a long one. Her eyes were red-rimmed and slightly puffy. She'd had herself a cry in there and Chris was a bit relieved, to be honest. It was far better to get her emotions out than hold them inside to fester like an uncleaned wound. Ally had lost the shelter and not all the animals had been saved. He knew she was traumatized. Her tears were a sign she was starting to deal with it.
"Thanks for the use of the shower," she said quietly. It looked like she was trying to smile but her lips only curved up briefly before falling again.
"Here." He reached down and picked up a glass. "I got you a glass of wine."
Her eyebrows lifted. "You have wine?"
"I keep the odd bottle around." He held out the glass until she came forward and took it.
"You were always a beer man," she mentioned, holding the glass in one hand and her dirty clothing in the other.
So she did remember. There were times he saw her around town that he wondered. She had a way of looking at him that was so bland, so impersonal, it was like they'd never been lovers. In love. Engaged. He swallowed. Asking Ally to marry him had been a miscalculation at the least, a colossal mistake at the worst.
And the knowing way she was looking at him now spoke volumes. He wondered if she'd be surprised to learn that in the two months since he'd taken possession of the house, she was the first woman to set foot in it?
"Still am a beer man," he answered. "Here, let me put those in a bag for you."
He reached for her clothes, realizing too late that, while neatly folded, her panties and bra peeked out from beneath her shirt.
Funny. He didn't usually find women's underwear intimidating. And she wasn't even wearing it...
Which made him realize that she couldn't possibly be wearing anything beneath the pants and T-shirt he'd given her.
His body went hard.
"Chris? The bag?"
"Oh, right." He took the clothes from her hands, went into the kitchen to grab a shopping bag from the broom closet and dumped them inside. He let out a breath. Maybe bringing her back here had been a mistake. But he'd seen the glazed look in her eyes and he knew how her parents could be. Suffocating. It all stemmed from losing their older daughter. They tended to be on the overprotective side. What Ally had needed was space to breathe, to get her balance again.
He counted to ten, reminded himself that she had broken up with him, and hoped that the embarrassment and pain would be enough to deflate the situation. He was wrong. And he couldn't stand in the kitchen forever. He'd have to just hope she didn't notice. Things were awkward enough.
He kept the bag in front of him and once he'd handed it over, he sat down on the sofa. "Come, sit, drink your wine," he suggested. He picked up his glass of ice water.
She sat on the opposite side, not quite pressed up against the arm of the sofa but with the centre cushion separating them. It was the only place to sit in the room, and the distance between them was obvious.
"You look better. Smell better." He angled her a teasing look, hoping to dispel the tension that had filled the room ever since she'd come out of the bathroom. His heart twisted a little at the sight of her puffy eyelids.
"I feel better. I had a minor meltdown in there."
"I figured. You took quite a while."
"I can't believe it's gone, you know? And Chester, and the kittens..." Her eyes filled with tears again. "It is...was...a no-euthanize shelter. It doesn't seem fair that after all that, they're gone anyway." She sniffled.
"I'm sorry they didn't all get out."
She shook her head. "No, you were right. No one else should have gone in there. It was too dangerous. It was way smarter to open the cages and let them go. If you hadn't helped not many would have gotten out alive. I know it's lucky that we only lost a few. But it still hurts. They were so sweet." She held out her hand. "This kitten, Marmalade, would curl right up in your hand and purr. She loved having her ears rubbed."
She turned her blue eyes up to his. They were bright with moisture, wide with pain, and yet there was something behind them he didn't expect. Determination. "I want to find out why this happened, Chris. Even if it's something I did unknowingly. I have to know why."
"The investigation will shed some light on that," he reassured her. "And while you were in the shower, I called Dr. Swan. She assured me that all the animals are doing fine. And they're keeping their eyes open for the one that's missing."
"Moose," she said, her brow furrowing. "I'm not surprised he took off. He has some fear issues."
"Well, she said a couple of the dogs had gone home with staff for the night, and the others are at the clinic."
"Oh, that's good news." She sank back into the cushions, letting out a sigh of relief.
"She also said you can call her if you want to, but otherwise she'll speak to you tomorrow. And that you're not to worry about a thing."
"I think I might possibly be too tired to call. Thank you for doing that. I really appreciate it."
"I knew you'd want to know. Dr. Swan said to tell you to look after yourself. She sounded very worried about you."
"Lindsay is a good woman who has been a fantastic friend of the shelter. I couldn't do this without her. I'll call first thing in the morning and see what's to be done about the dogs. There are too many for her to keep for very long."
Chris put down his glass and reached over to put his hand on her knee. "It'll all work out, you'll see."
"I hope so." She toyed with her glass. "It was a big job getting it going in the first place. Now it's like starting all over."
"What about insurance?"
She shrugged. "Insurance will cover some of the contents, I suppose. But the building wasn't ours. We rented it. In fact, we were looking at relocating because the landlord wanted to raise the rent. As a charity, that's a tough pill to swallow, you know?" She sighed. "We don't have a choice now. But we've also lost all our equipment, cages, food..."
"Don't think about it." Chris could tell she was feeling overwhelmed again. "You can figure that out later. One thing at a time, and right now it's looking after you. Making sure you're okay."
She looked at him so sweetly he nearly forgot the edge of bitterness he still felt when he thought about their breakup. It still hurt, knowing they'd been so close but that she'd been able to walk away so easily.
"I'm okay thanks to you. A lot of animals are okay thanks to you. You saved us today, Chris."
He'd left his hand on her knee, and now she put her hand on top of his. It was warm and soft and without thinking he turned his over so his fingers were twined with hers. For all the hurt, he'd never hated her. It was impossible to stay angry with Ally. She was too kind of a person.
That kind nature was part of why her leaving had hurt so bad. It would have been easier to get over her if she'd been nastier, selfish, vindictive. But she was none of those things. She never had been.
"I was just doing my job," he said. But he knew that wasn't strictly true. For a split second today it had been intensely personal. All he had to do was think about her wide, frightened eyes and he had the urge to pull her into his arms and protect her.
He was suddenly aware that his thumb was stroking the soft skin at the top of her hand. She hadn't pulled away.
"I was so scared," she whispered. "I knew I had to try to get as many out as I could, but I could taste the smoke and hear the fire and I was terrified. And then you were there." She slid over on to the cushion between them, turned and put her arms around his neck. "I was never so glad to see anyone in my life."
"You'd never know it." His voice came out all husky, and he swallowed, putting an arm around her back, trying to hold on to his composure. It was difficult when she was pressed against him, smelling like his shampoo, wearing his clothes. "You started barking orders."
"Only because I saw you and I knew it would all be okay. I knew you'd make sure it was okay."
It was the grandest statement of trust he'd ever heard. And certainly unexpected from her, who'd been so disapproving about his training to be a firefighter and had made no secret of her feelings. She'd hated the fact that he'd wanted to be a fireman. But he had no regrets. The only thing that had kept him sane for the first year after their breakup was how much he loved it. He still did, even if it was only as a part of a volunteer department. He could have gone somewhere else with a paid department, but he'd wanted to come back to the one place that was home for him. This way he got to have both the job and still stay in the valley. It was where he belonged.
She was pressed against him and he closed his eyes. He could feel her breasts against his chest, free from constraint inside the soft T-shirt. He turned his head slightly and his lips touched a wisp of hair just behind her ear. A breathy sigh fluttered against his neck and he felt his judgment weakening.
"Ally," he whispered, meaning it as a caution, but instead it came out as a plea. Slowly, giving her lots of time to stop him, he slid his hand beneath the baggy T-shirt and grazed his fingers along the soft skin of her ribs until he cupped her breast in the valley between his thumb and forefinger.
He moved his thumb over the tip and found it hard and responsive.
He should stop right now. She'd been through something terrible and she was vulnerable. And nothing had changed between them, had it? And yet he didn't withdraw. He couldn't. The memories were too strong, too present. He knew every inch of her body. Three years hadn't changed that. Her curves were familiar, like coming home. He cupped her breast fully in his hand, measuring the weight, marvelling at the softness, while he turned his head and trailed kisses along her jaw until he met her mouth. It had been too long without her.
Something exploded inside him at the first taste of her. That sense of familiarity, of sensual memory was ten times as strong when they kissed. She met his tongue with hers, stroke for stroke, and she arched her back, pressing her breast more firmly into his palm. The warning that pounded in his brain, the one that said this was a mistake, receded to a dull roar as she made a little sound of satisfaction that rippled through him.
He pushed her deeper into the cushions until they were sprawled over the sofa and her hip was digging in terribly close to his zipper. His mouth skidded off hers, sliding down her neck as he pushed the T-shirt up, up, baring her chest.
She was perfect, perfect and beautiful, just as she'd always been.
As he took the first sweet tip into his mouth a cry escaped her throat and she bucked against him. His erection was damned near painful now as he ran his tongue over her nipple. She gripped his hair, and a quick glance upward showed her head thrown back, eyes closed, lips open. She was completely and utterly his.
Her pelvis rocked against his hip and he was at once thankful that his sleep pants were too big for her. Even pulled tight, the drawstring provided little resistance as he rolled slightly to the left and slid his hand inside. She was hot, hot and wet and primed, and he slid a finger inside her, wondering how far they dare go before stopping. If they would stop.
Making love would probably be a disaster. The thought broke through the haze of passion clouding his brain. He would never want her to think he took complete advantage of her at this moment, so they'd forego that ultimate pleasure. He had enough control to stop, didn't he? But as he licked at her breast once more, he set up a rhythm with his hand. It didn't mean he couldn't pleasure her. There was a different satisfaction to be gained, watching her come apart in his hands.
He bit her nipple lightly and let his thumb skim along her sensitive skin, the way he remembered she liked. He was rewarded with a succinct curse word followed by his name drawn out on a moan. He took a minute to strip the pants clear off her, gazing with appreciation at her long, slender legs and flat stomach.
Without the restriction of the pants, Ally's knees dropped open and he slid his palm up the tender skin of her inner thigh.
"Please," she whispered, and he started the rhythm again, all the while kissing his way from the hollow of her hip, past her navel, over her ribs. He paused to pay adequate attention to both breasts, then ran his tongue up the centre of her collarbone, along her neck, and finally captured her mouth.
He knelt beside her now, his knees on the floor as he kissed her. She planted her feet and rocked against his hand, small sounds vibrating against his mouth until she broke the kiss, threw her head back and pressed her pubis against his hand over and over and over as a cry was torn from her throat.
She was so beautiful in her abandon that he nearly came right in his jeans.
"Ally," he said gently, moments later. Her chest still rose and fell with heavy breaths and her skin seemed to glow in the early evening light. Even after three years, after the disappointment and hurt and anger, he knew he had never truly gotten over her. All he could think of was how good it had been for a while and how much he'd missed her.
She slid up a bit and pulled down his T-shirt. But she was still naked from the waist down, and he quietly retrieved the sleep pants and gave them back to her.
"I don't... I didn't mean... Shit." She pushed her feet into the pants and lifted her hips, slipping the material over until she was covered. Her hair, still slightly damp, stuck up in a few places where the friction of the sofa arm had messed it. Her cheeks were an adorable pink and she couldn't meet his eyes.
It was right that they hadn't gone all the way. It was a little harder for his body to accept his decision, but that would be remedied in time.
"Ally," he said again, a little louder, and her hands paused while smoothing her hair.
She looked up at him.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
The colour in her cheeks deepened. "Of course I'm all right. I just... This isn't why I came here tonight."
"I know that. I didn't intend for it to happen either."
"Then why did it?"
It was a good question, and he wasn't sure he wanted to examine for motives too deeply. He lifted his hand and tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. He tried a smile. "It was an adrenaline-filled day for both of us and we needed the release." He could say things like in a dangerous situation people often wanted to feel alive, or he could get personal and confess that there was a little bit of nostalgia involved. But he let it lie. No sense getting overly heavy about it.
"You said we, but the only one who got any release was me."
As if he needed reminding. "And do you feel better?"
"So it was what, a charitable cause?"
He leaned in so that his face was only a few inches from hers. "Don't put words in my mouth, Ally. You know I had to realize that you weren't wearing any underwear, and when you hugged me...well, my imagination didn't have to stretch too far."
Her gaze darted away.
He gentled his voice. "Maybe I got carried away. But I wasn't carried alone. And it's okay."
"You stopped." Her voice was a soft whisper.
"Because I knew for sure you'd regret it. Not because I wanted to. Hell, Ally. I remember how it was between us. The sex was always good."
Her lips twitched at the corners. "Yes, it was."
"So no feeling guilty or awkward or anything, right? It'll be our little secret."
Ally nodded.
"Would you like me to take you home now?"
"I think so."
He boosted himself up to standing and held out a hand. "Come on, get your things. Are you going to be okay dealing with your parents?"
She shrugged. "I know what to expect. Dad'll be glad I'm fine and relieved that now I don't have to worry about this shelter business. Mom will flutter and panic and make sure I'm not burned anywhere and then tell me to forget about this shelter business."
"They don't approve?"
She shrugged again. "It's not a 'life plan'."
"I see." He did see, quite clearly. "And if they knew we'd been together tonight..."
Her expression changed, growing uncomfortable. "They don't need to know that. As far as anyone knows, you were just doing a favour for an old friend. Nothing more to it."
It was probably smarter that way in the end. It was a small town and their history wasn't exactly a secret. It would only create trouble if rumors started.
She went around him and picked up her bag of smoky clothes. "I might as well get it over with and have a decent night's sleep. Tomorrow's going to be busy. And I'm scheduled to work at the drugstore in the afternoon."
Chris drove her back into town as the sun set. By the time he dropped her off at home, his headlights were on and the cab of the truck was buffered by twilight, hiding them from clear view.
"Thank you, Chris. For saving me today, for letting me pull myself together at your place."
"Any time," he replied, forcing himself to keep his hands on the wheel. He was surprised to realize that he meant it. They'd spent a lot of time avoiding each other, but when it came right down to it, there was a connection between them that had never been completely broken. All she'd ever have to do is ask for his help and he would be there.
He just hoped she didn't realize it. It made him a bit vulnerable when all was said and done, and he had no intention of getting involved only to have his heart trampled on again.
She got out of the truck and gave a wave before disappearing into the house.
He backed out of her driveway and headed for home.
***
Ally spent two hours at the vet clinic, talking to Dr. Swan and helping with the daily care of the animals kept in the kennel area, showering them with pats and love, cleaning cages and making sure they were all fed. All the cats were doing fine and were ready to be adopted, and other than a few singe marks the dogs seemed to be doing well also. Even Moose had been found, cowering under a hedge about half a mile from the shelter. The biggest problem now was housing. The clinic simply wasn't set up for this many animals in addition to their patients. And because of her mother's allergies, Ally couldn't take any of them home.
She stopped by the meds counter where Dr. Swan was looking something up on a computer. "Lindsay," Ally said, "I don't know how to thank you. Keep a tally of what I owe you, and I'll look into getting some foster homes organized until the dust settles."
Dr. Swan flapped a hand. "We're happy to help. Don't worry about the charges. We'll work something out for the treatment and I won't charge for the board."
Ally's throat tightened. "You don't have to do that."
"I want to. And that's all I want to hear about it."
"You're an angel."
Dr. Swan took off her glasses and put them down beside the monitor. "What happened yesterday was just horrible. I think Pam's already fallen in love with your Maltese cross, by the way. Once we've cleared them all, it wouldn't surprise me if she adopted him."
"Please thank your staff for me. I'll be in touch as soon as I can."
The clinic door opened and Ally peered down the hall. Her stomach did a somersault as Chris stepped inside. What on earth was he doing here?
She held back for a moment, trying to slow her breath. She hadn't been able to stop thinking about him since last night. Even dealing with her mother's histrionics and a fair number of what-were-you-thinking moments, there'd been a glow lit inside her. Her muscles had been limber and relaxed post-orgasm, and she'd gotten through it all without losing her cool or worse, crying—which was what her parents probably expected of her.
But the memory, even hours later, was so fresh that she was afraid she'd try to play it cool and fail miserably.
His deep voice asked for her and she heard the receptionist answer that Ally was out back.
"Someone to see you? A hunky fireman no less. I heard he saved you yesterday." Dr. Swan's voice was teasing.
Ally hoped she wasn't blushing. "You know Chris?"
Dr. Swan put her glasses back on. "I'm thirty years old and single and this town isn't exactly bursting at the seams with good-looking men. Chris Jackson is hot. My ninety-eight year old grandmother would notice."
No mention of their past, so either Lindsay hadn't heard or was kindly avoiding it.
The receptionist came around the corner. "Hey, Ally, someone to see you."
"I'll be right there."
"You're blushing," Lindsay remarked.
"Only because you brought up his hotness," Ally replied, then realized she'd just inadvertently confirmed that she, too, found him attractive.
Oh, hell.
She lifted her chin and strode into the waiting room. "What are you doing here?" she asked cheerfully, pushing the wisps of memory from last night's episode to the back of her mind.
"We were able to get you your purse. It stinks, but you won't have to cancel all your cards or get new ID."
"That's great." Her wide smile was genuine as she reached out to take the bag. "Thanks. That's going to save me a lot of headache today." It really did stink, so she gestured towards the door. They went outside and she dropped the bag on the grass. It could use an airing out, though she doubted it would ever be usable again. She'd have to take the cards out and simply throw away the rest.
"How did you know I'd be here?"
He shrugged. "The animals are here. I figured it was the first place you'd come."
"You were right. Dr. Swan's been so awesome, but I know this is putting extra strain on her staff and space. I've got a list at home, and hopefully some of our foster families will be able to step up."
"I don't think that'll be a problem after today," Chris said, reaching into his back pocket. He took out a folded-up newspaper clipping. "This was on the front page of today's paper."
She reached out and took it. It was a picture of the two of them, standing and staring at the burned-out building just before she'd left last night. It was easy to see she'd been crying, and she looked a fright, while Chris was tall and clean and gorgeous. But his face was troubled as he stood just behind her. Anyone with long memories would be commenting on them being in the same picture together, wouldn't they? But it didn't seem to matter. Seeing the damaged building in the photo made the feelings of despair come rushing back all over again.
She scanned the article, which talked about the devastating fire, the ongoing investigation into the cause, the animals killed and the challenge of what was next for the animals saved. Her gaze darted up to Chris's. "There's a fundraiser on the go already?"
"One of the guys at work has a kid in 4-H. They're going to have some sort of bake sale. I heard about it first thing this morning. And there's been a donation account set up at the bank to cover the vet bills and other expenses."
She put her fingers to her lips. "I don't know what to say."
"People believe in what you were doing, Ally. You belong to this town. Didn't you think they would help?"
"But it was so hard to get sponsors when I started. I never thought..."
He put a hand on her shoulder. "You never thought they'd believe in you, is that it? But you proved yourself. You made it work and people saw that. And now they're lining up to support you when you need it most."
It was hard to take in. "I don't know what to say."
"Give yourself some credit. Yesterday was a terrible day, but the upside is seeing a community pull together. Now what can I do to help?"
"Nothing. You've done so much already," she answered, folding the article and tucking it into her pocket. She still couldn't quite believe it.
"I'm sure something will come up." He dropped his hand from her shoulder. "Let me know. You know where to find me."
She certainly did.
"The board is having an emergency meeting in an hour or so," she said, stepping back. "I've got to go get ready for that. Just let me know if the investigation turns anything up, okay? That's the best thing you can do for me right now."
She took another step backward.
"Ally? About last night—"
"Let's just forget about that." She pasted on a smile even though she knew forgetting it was about as impossible as forgetting her own name. The truth was nothing had been the same since she'd broken off their relationship. No one had ever made her feel fireworks like Chris. And it had only taken his hands. She wasn't quite comfortable admitting that to herself, and she sure as hell didn't know what she wanted to do about it.
"Forget about it." His expression grew cold. "If that's really what you want."
"I think so. Emotions were high, that's all..." She had to get away now before she started stammering and said too much. "But thank you, Chris. For bringing me my bag and for the article. I'll see you around."
She grabbed for her purse and turned around, hurrying back to the sidewalk and safety.
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