He looks just as he appears in my nightmares.
Age lines his face, gray hairs spotting his head. I once let this man tend to my wounds, prod my thoughts and emotions, under the guise that he was simply a harmless, warm, healer.
Now, lying on my back on the edge of a wooden pier with a raging ocean metres below, I cannot imagine a time when I was not afraid of him.
The chord wraps around my ankles has weights attached to the end, making it near impossible to wriggle free of the tangle. That doesn't stop me from trying as Ereon takes calm, slow steps towards me, his guards merely inches behind.
My mind screams in alarm as I stare up at him. Away from the shelter of the buildings, the wind whips around us. His lavish, black cape ripples in the air at his feet, creating a shadow around his frame. I shuffle backwards, stopping abruptly when the pier gives way beneath my elbow.
I let out a cry, eyes darting to the viscous sea smashing against the pier legs.
Ereon stops several feet away, his eyes raking over me in a torturously slow movement. His lips quirk up at the ends, as if mocking my predicament.
"You didn't think you could escape the country unnoticed, did you?" he taunts. "You don't think I have spies at the docks of our neighbours? Both Ayrith and Llyn. Your friends won't go far."
I stare at him, my breath in short, sharp rasps. "But that does not seem to worry you." He narrows his gaze at me, speculative. Then, something else settles across his face--a mixture of shock and confusion. "Because you weren't going to either of those places, were you?"
My heart skips a beat. This was supposed to be our easy escape. Once we left Elel, Ereon wasn't supposed to be something we had to think about. Surviving Torrine was a challenge in itself. But if Ereon even gets a whiff of our travel plans, he will surely question why of all places, we would risk our lives going to Torinne.
He knows about the hyacertie. He asked me about it when I was held captive at the Palace. But he doesn't know where it is. Yet.
That grin stretches wider, making my stomach sink. "You were going to Torinne."
I spit at his feet.
The mocking grin darkens. His eyes flash, and he starts forward.
Thud. The pier quivers with the weight of the body dropping down between us. Tension rolls through my shoulders as I struggle to keep my shoulders from sliding over the edge. But my heart goes wild when I register the body standing between Ereon and me.
Killian.
He holds tightly onto a thin, whethered rope that, when I follow its length, I see is attached to one of the flagpoles at the end of the cliff parallel to the Pier. King Ereon seems to dumbfounded to move.
"You'll have to excuse me," Killian says. I can hear the smirk in his voice. "But I'm going to have to cut this reunion short."
At his words, Ereon barks an order. The guards start towards us, but Killian is too quick. Swooping down, he scoops an arm around my waist and pulls me to his body.
"Hold on."
In one breath, he leaps off the end of the pier.
***
Suspended in air, time moves at the speed of a snail. The rope Killian holds swings us far out, away from the pier. Wind whips my hair around my face. Killian releases the rope.
We fly through the air. The release of the rope propels me from his grip. I tumble for what feels like an eternity, up or down, I can't tell. I struggle to keep my body upright, unable to balance my weight due to the weights on the ankles at my feet. But I feel the moment where I stop gaining distance and start to tumble towards the raging ocean. I brace for impact just in time to take a gulp of air.
Water engulfs me.
I've swum all my life, every summer in the lake in Veymaw. But it does not compare to this. Pumelling me from every angle, the ocean renders me directionless. My father's swimming lessons play in my mind--but the movement of arms prove useless as I'm twisted and turned under water. The fabric of my dress tangles around my thighs, and my ankles, still tied with rope, are unable to support my attempts at reaching the surface.
I'm going to drown.
The thought fills me with a surge that makes me kick for the surface, legs tied together, but just when I think I'm getting somewhere, another waves rolls me upside. It whacks my chest with a force that spits the breath from my lungs. On instinct, I gasp for air, intaking mouthfuls of sea water.
Something wraps around my waist, tugging me upwards. In moments we break the surface of the water. Killian's arm stays securely around my waist, his other latched onto a piece of drift wood thrown from the ship rocking just metres away.
I cough up water, but the waves only throw more sea water in. Killian's black hair sticks to his forehead as he pulls me tighter. "Hold on for just a little longer," he says, own breath coming in pants.
The rope tugs us closer to the ship till we're able to touch it; then, it starts to pull us up. I cling to Killian, body shivering in both shock and cold as Lei and Juem manage to pull us over the wooden rail of the boat.
I land flat atop Killian's chest. Exhaustion sweeps through my body, rendering me incapable of movement. Opening my eyes, I'm vaguely aware of just how close we are. Our breath migles, chests rising and falling to the same quick rhythm. His body, though soaking wet, seeps with a warmth that wraps around me.
His eyes dart around my face in quick motions, pink lips slightly parted. From this close, I can see the beads of water rolling in rivulets down his sharp cheekbones.
"Frey."
Casimir pulls me from Killian's body, supporting me with his own as he wraps his arms around me. Lei works to unwind the rope around my ankles.
"Are you okay?"
I nod numbly. The adrenaline slowly seeps from my veins, making way for the icy cold as a chilly wind brushes across the deck of the ship. Casimir pulls back, inspecting my face for injuries. I glance at Killian over his shoulder. He stands tall, tugging at his wet clothing that stick to him like a second skin.
If it hadn't been for him, Ereon would've caught me.
The thought forces my gaze over Casimir's shoulder, back to the mainland. The pier stands guard of Portson in the distance, Ereon's figure merely a dark spot at the edge.
While his guards move frantically around him, Ereon stays perfectly still. My heart hammers, a chill crawling up my spine for a reason other than the cold. We got away. But not without cost.
Though I cannot see his eyes, cannot hear his words, I feel the message passed across the vast body of water.
I'm coming.
***
My father spoke of sea sickness only once when I was a child. He told stories of the traders who could not live up to their family legacy due to the illness. They'd return after only a month at sea, retiring to something less demanding, but usually less respected.
It hadn't even occurred to me when we were planning our trek to Torinne that I might encounter such a feeling. But I can't ignore the nausea that rocks in my stomach with each tilt of the ship in the waves. And Casimir, worse of than even me, has barely ventured below the deck due to the frequent urge to empty his stomach over the railing outside.
I try to avoid going above, sitting very still as the wood creaks in the force of the wind and waves. The vastness of the ocean above unnerves me. The lack of land, purely ocean, makes my skin crawl.
The ship crew mostly leave us alone; but we try to stay out of their way, residing to the corner of the hull in a small corner, sitting atop overturned wooden crates. I brace myself against the side of the boat, holding my knees to my chest.
Across from me, Killian and Lei talk in low murmured voices, inspecting the loot Killian stole from the weapons building in Portson. I wrap the scratchy blanket tighter around my frame. Changing out of the wet clothes helped, but the chill still aches through my bones.
Juem sits across from me, eyeing me. I shift uncomfortably beneath his gaze.
"Sea sick?" he asks.
"I'm okay."
His expression remains neutral, but he reaches into his bag, pulling out a root of some sort. "Here, this will help with the nausea."
I take it from him, turning it over in my hand. "What is it?"
"Grfer. A native root from Torrine."
Hesitantly. I break the tip off and put it in my mouth. It's chewy and rough, lacking much flavour. "Casimir could use some of this."
"I tried to offer it to him, but he refused it."
The information doesn't surprise me. Casimir being here is a testament for how much he cares for me, not a testament to his faith in the shifters' intentions. I offer a small smile, chewing on the root as Juem rises to his feet and heads towards the ladder above deck again.
When I turn back, Killian's eyes are on me. Lei moves over to sort the weapons several feet away.
"What?" I ask.
"Did you eat the whole root?"
"Yeah." I pause. "Don't tell me I'm going to grow a second head, now."
"Not a second head, but maybe an extra finger." I gape at him, scowling when a grin tugs at his lips. "Kidding."
"Very funny." I glance from him to Lei, noting their demeanour. "You don't get sea sick?"
He shakes his head. "We've travelled many sea voyages in the past few years."
Escaping Torrine. Coming to Elel. His brutal past floats through my mind. "How do you feel? About going back to Torrine?"
Killian's smile slips away as he directs his gaze to the floor. "It's dangerous. For us all."
"That's not what I asked."
He meets my eye. He knows exactly what I meant by my question, and yet I can't tell from his expression whether or not the question irks him. At this point, I can't bring myself to care if asking the question crosses the boundary line of personal questions I've drawn between us.
When he doesn't answer, I prod again. "Are you afraid?"
In the lowlight, I can't be sure whether his frown is directed at my question or his answer.
"Yes."
I pause, examining his expression. "Of the cloud?"
"Of the things within it."
I swallow. "The infected. The delusions."
"The delusions, sure, but we know if we manage to shelter we can avoid them."
"The infected, then."
"I'm not afraid of what they are. I'm afraid of who they are." I meet his eye. "Torinne is not a big country. Our population was relatively small."
In the dim light, I can't be sure whether his eyes are glassy or its a trick of light. And despite the distance I've tried to create between us, I can't resist the urge to reach out, place a hand on his forearm. How many of his friends and families memories managed to escape before taken over by the evocian? I can't bring myself to ask.
He glances at my hand, then back up at me, and for the first time, I can read the genuine surprise in his expression. "Thank you," I say sincerely. "For back at the pier."
A smile tugs at the left side of his mouth. "Next time, I'll make sure your legs aren't attached to weights before launching the two of us head first into the water."
I can't help but return his smile with one of my own, taking my hand back. His smile, not that smirk, but his real smile, stretches all the way to his eyes, seeming to light up the deck.
I clear my throat, averting my eyes and shuffling backwards. Killian takes the hint and stands up.
"We should get some rest," he says. "We'll need it when we get to Torrine."
I nod, leaning my head back against the wooden crate, closing my eyes. The rocking motion in idea seems lulling, but the reality is harsh. With the nausea, rough ocean, and Killian mere feet away. I couldn't even sleep if I tried.