The funeral was a very small and private gathering with only about twenty people or so in attendance.
The Hillside cemetery was on a meadow just off the highway specked with tomb stones and oak trees.
I arrived with Tristan and Cage, and Stigger was already standing by Jenny’s side as she talked to other people. There had been no wake and this was the first time she had to deal with the crowd who came to pay their respects.
Tristan said the Stellars played it out as a car crash and since every one of the men were single, there were no worries about witnesses complicating the story. I’m not really sure how they made everyone buy the story but it seems to have worked as there hadn’t been too many questions asked.
It’s only us who know the real story that understand the true horror of these deaths.
Tristan took my hand as we walked towards Jenny who looked up and flashed us a pained smile.
We followed them to a spot away from the other visitors and Tristan and Stigger kept their distance.
Without saying anything, I wrapped her in a hug.
I sniffled and pulled away to look at her. “How are you doing?”
She shrugged. “Better. My injuries are mostly gone. We heal quickly.”
“I’m so sorry about Jack and the others,” I told her as tears filled my eyes again. “I had no idea it was going to get that ugly.”
She pursed her lips, looking almost angry. “I knew they were up to something. I saw it in Jack’s eyes. He made sure I didn’t come with them. I wish he told me. I wish I was able to help...”
I squeezed her arm as her voice trailed off. “It’s probably better that you didn’t. Jack wouldn’t have wanted the same fate for you.”
Her composure crumbled. “I just wish... I just wish there was something I could’ve done to stop them. But they did what they felt was the right thing to do and I guess... I just have to accept that.”
I held her hand as she took a deep breath and calmed her tears down.
I stayed by her side all throughout the memorial service and I admired her for holding herself together while I was a case of tears that just kept trickling quietly down my cheek.
Tristan was on my side, saying very little but holding my hand every now and then to remind me he was there.
As we stood around the graves, waiting as the caskets were being lowered to the bottom, I spied Devon standing several yards away under a tree, watching us.
He was in a dark suit and his hair was unusually unruly.
Jenny threw a long-stemmed white rose into the dirt first and the rest of us took our turns.
A hollow ache filled my heart as I realized that I will never see Jack smile or laugh again.
I’m so sorry, Jack, I said to him in my mind as I watched the dirt slowly cover the casket. I wish I’d given you the love you more than deserved.
We were standing around as Jenny saw off the visitors who had started leaving when Devon walked over to us.
Tristan stiffened but I slowly took a few steps forward to meet him.
“Ollie,” he said, his voice low and miserable.
I smiled at him and stepped into his arms for a hug. “How are you doing, Devon?”
“Better now that you’re okay,” he said, smoothing my hair down my back. “I was afraid you’d never wake up.”
I looked up at him. “Nah. That would be too easy.”
He managed a wry smile, glancing at Tristan whose eyes I could feel burning a hole on my back.
“I want to talk to you about something,” Devon said, taking my hands and looking at them. “Do you want to walk with me?”
“She’s not going anywhere with you, Devon,” Tristan interrupted in a voice that was barely restrained.
I glanced over my shoulder at him and saw the anger registered on his face. “We won’t be long, Tristan. We’ll stay where you can see us. I think that’s fair.”
His eyes narrowed at me. “Ten minutes and we’re out of here. I’ll come get you myself if I have to.”
I looped my arm through Devon’s and we started walking towards the other side of the cemetery.
“You’re not going to like what I have to say but I should tell you anyway,” he said. “You have a chance from escaping from all of this, Ollie. I can relocate you. I’ve already made arrangements.”
I stopped in my tracks. “Relocate me? You mean I have to leave Willow? Where will I go?”
“Somewhere far away from all of this. We have the ability to move you away and give you a brand new life. I’m confident Remus won’t be able to get to you.”
I shook my head. “It’s not that easy, Devon. Remus has my blood. He can kill me that way.”
Devon’s expression turned into stone. “I didn’t know that. Tristan didn’t mention it.”
“He’s trying to figure that out,” I answered with a shrug. “Until then, we have to assure Remus I’m here when he comes back for me otherwise he pulls the plug.”
“I should’ve done this much earlier then,” he said as he ran a hand down his face, his agitation finally showing. “Now, it’s too late. I should’ve relocated you a long time ago.”
“What do you mean, Devon?” I asked, forcing him to meet my eyes. “Were you going to send me away like I’m on some type of witness-protection program?”
He looked at me morosely. “It was the only way to keep you safe. But Tristan made a deal with me that he was going to stay away from you—at least until the war is over. He didn’t want you to be uprooted from your home and the life you’ve known all these years.”
“Is that why he stayed away from me?” I asked in a very even voice, my eyes narrowing. “Because you threatened to take me away without my consent?”
He nodded grimly. “Yes. I was going to do it but it came to light that you may not be purely human, Ollie. Diana was the first to tell me, after she saw your eyes flash gold that night of the were-demons’ attack. I dismissed it at first but then I heard about the incident at the lake with the drowning boy. I finally confronted Tristan and he admitted to having the same suspicion. That changed things. If you’re an otherworldly, you’re beyond our jurisdiction. This now becomes completely your choice.”
I crossed my arms. “As much as I would like a quiet and peaceful life, I refuse to be taken away from my home, Devon. I’ll fight to protect it, not run away. Otherworldly or not, I would have never gone along with your plan.”
He sighed. “After I’ve gotten to know you better, I realized that. I don’t want you to be unhappy, Ollie, but I also don’t want you dead.”
I softened. “Neither do I but no matter how hard you protect me, it’s bound to happen, Devon. We’re dying each day. Life, for us mere mortals, is terminal.”
His eyes glimmered with emotion. “I understand that, Ollie, and in my line of work, I’ve seen good people live and die. This is the first time I’m desperate to make sure it doesn’t happen to you. Ever.”
I put a hand on his chest. “Then you’re being unrealistic, Devon. I know you care about me but you can’t hold on to me forever.”
“I’ll try my very best anyway,” he insisted. “You deserve a long, happy life, Ollie, not one that’s constantly in danger and in the hands of those who care very little about it.”
I smiled. “I’m surrounded by people who’ve gone to great lengths to protect me—you, Jenny, Stigger, Arabella and the rest. Tristan. That’s how I’ve managed to stay alive. I’ll be fine.”
He stared at me long and hard for a moment. “You don’t hate me?”
I shook my head. “No. I’m a little mad at you for intervening between me and Tristan. But I understand you were trying to protect me and I can’t hate you for that. I think we’re all guilty of caring more than what’s probably smart for us.”
He stared at the ground for a minute, kicking some pebbles around. “I’m sorry it hurt you when Tristan distanced himself. I knew it was going to be hard for him because he fought me tooth and nail for it but I didn’t really think about how you’d feel.”
I glanced over my shoulder and saw Tristan standing in the distance, talking to Stigger and Jenny, and as if he could sense me watching him, he turned and caught my eye.
My stomach fluttered and my heart stirred.
Devon’s confessions put some of my fears to rest but it was going to take more than that to figure out just where exactly Tristan and I stood.
“You love him,” Devon said and I turned back to him to find him studying me.
I remembered Jack telling me the same thing and I had shot it down quickly but now I wasn’t so sure anymore.
“I care about him. A lot,” I answered, careful not to hurt Devon with my words.
I looked up at him and smiled. “I also care about you, Devon. That hasn’t changed.”
He smiled back. “I’m glad and I’m grateful. But you should be with whoever makes you happy.”
“If only it was that simple,” I said with a dry laugh.
He put a hand on my shoulder. “Tristan’s a good man, Ollie. Despite appearances, he cares about you deeply. It’ll kill him to lose you and he’s not a weak man.”
I raised a brow at him curiously. “And why are you telling me this?”
He shrugged. “Because I think you should know so that you may doubt him less. You’re good for him. He needs you now more than ever.”
I was tempted to further prod but Devon has already been more than generous in the truth department today.
I smiled and rose on my toes to kiss him on the cheek. “Thanks, Devon.”
He smiled back and briefly touched my cheek. “Off you go then. I’ll be around to help out. If you’d been purely human, we can go after Remus for taking your blood and holding you hostage. We’ll now have to be creative about this.”
I hugged him quickly before turning to go.
Tristan turned when he saw me heading back and he stood still like a magnificent stone statue, his golden blond hair whipping around his face with the breeze that rippled through the sprawling cemetery.
His sharp blue eyes pierced their way right into my soul as I got closer and he looked so intense I caught my breath for a second.
The rest have started walking back to their cars, leaving the two of us alone.
“Are you okay?” he asked quietly as I stopped in front of him.
I smiled a little. “Yeah, I’m okay. Are you okay?”
He didn’t smile. “I don’t know yet. It depends on what Devon wants from you.”
“Oh, give him a break, Tristan,” I said, glancing over my shoulder to the spot where I left Devon but he was gone. “Devon’s a good friend, both to you and me.”
“I don’t know about that,” he muttered under his breath.
I took his hand in mine and he looked back up at me. “He told me the truth. He told me about the deal you struck with him to keep me here. I wasn’t too thrilled with him about that but that answers a lot of my questions—at least the important ones.”
He regarded me carefully. “I did what I had to do. It was the right thing.”
I raised a brow. “You and Devon both seem to think yourselves experts on the right thing. I’m a little annoyed about having decisions made for me. I’d like to be able to make up my own mind about things.”
“I know,” he said with a small, ironic smile. “It’s hard because I like doing things my way all the time.”
I rolled my eyes. “I suppose it’s a monumental sacrifice for you to compromise every now and then.”
He shrugged. “Yeah, true. But I would never compromise you. Ever.”
My cheeks flushed and I lowered my eyes as I slipped my arms around his waist and pressed close against him.
His arms went around me and his chin rested on my head.
We stayed that way for a long moment before Tristan pressed a kiss on my hair and pulled away.
“Let’s go,” he said as he took my hand and led me towards the car where Cage, Stigger and Jenny stood talking.
“You two are smiling,” Stigger observed with a grin. “That’s a good sign.”
Cage rolled his eyes. “And here we go again.”
I ignored them and turned to Jenny. “Will you be alright? You can come stay with us if you don’t want to be on your own. The mansion’s got lots of rooms, right Tristan?”
I realized I just invited someone to a house that wasn’t mine but Tristan just nodded. I squeezed his hand gratefully.
Jenny shook her head. “No, I’m alright. I have to pack up. I’ll come by and see you but I’d like a little time to myself.”
“Of course,” I said softly. “You know where to find us when you need us.”
Jenny glanced at Tristan, her expression becoming fierce. “You’re going to do something about Remus, aren’t you? He has to pay for what he did and he has to release Ollie.”
“We’re making plans,” Tristan answered solemnly. “This isn’t over yet, Jenny. It’s not over until Remus is out of the picture completely.”
She nodded firmly. “Good. Count me in. Whatever you need me to do, I’ll do it. I want to put that son of a bitch in a hole in the ground.”
Stigger reached for her hand and she clasped it tightly.
I was relieved that at least she wasn’t completely alone.
We hugged goodbye and just before I turned away from the cemetery, I glanced at Jack’s grave one last time and said a silent prayer that I hoped somewhere out there, he would hear.
***
Tristan finally agreed to let me pick any room I wanted in the mansion.
I picked a corner one on the third level with the balcony that overlooked the lake across and the thick patch of woods that separated the mansion from the golf course.
It was small enough to be modest but luxurious enough with its large bathroom, picture-book windows and white four-poster queen-sized bed.
I’d grabbed a small suitcase of clothes from my house but I didn’t unpack them. In a way, I still secretly hope this is going to be a temporary set up.
As much as I loved living in this beautiful mansion, I was here for not very good reasons.
I didn’t tell Patrick and Mary Anne yet where I was staying but I kept in touch with them on the phone. They knew about what happened to Jack and had asked about coming to the funeral but I had to tell them it was private to the family. They didn’t push it.
I was glad they were busy with the renovations but it’s been a week since I last dropped by and I felt obligated to show my face.
I got up that Friday morning, showered and got dressed before heading down to the stone patio outside where Tristan, Cage and Stigger were having breakfast.
The vampire ladies were down in the basement of course. They didn’t rise until dark. I had been tempted to ask about their diet before but I decided I didn’t really want to know. What I’ve read about vampires were pretty much true: they were the un-dead, they feed on blood and they stay out of the sun. Arabella offered the only novelty of being a powerful witch as well.
“Good morning, Miss Ollie,” Stigger greeted with a big grin, gesturing to the empty chair across him and next to Tristan. “What would you like?”
The table was an elaborate spread of fresh bread, herbed scrambled eggs, sausages, ham and bacon with a large bowl of mixed fresh fruit cuts and some type of raspberry punch.
I smiled and helped myself to some eggs and bread. “This looks pretty good. Who made this? I thought you sent all the staff away.”
Since the whole Remus incident, Tristan pretty much had to shut down the Mansion and send everyone off on paid leave. Most of his staff were otherworldlies but he said he couldn’t risk a high body count in case Remus attacked. The Stellars also insisted on a zero-human policy. The small percentage of staff he hired that were Willow locals had been all glamoured, which is otherworldly speak for being sort of hypnotized into doing or thinking something. The only people who wandered in and out of the Mansion were otherworldly guests but they mostly came at night to hang out at the Lounge, waiting and talking about the impending war over drinks and rhythm and blues.
“Cage cooked this morning,” Stigger said, angling Cage a teasing smirk. “You didn’t think he could whip out a deluxe breakfast, did you?”
I was surprised but I smiled appreciatively at Cage who looked glared at Stigger. “This is pretty amazing. This takes a lot of talent and creativity.”
Cage wasn’t the type to blush but I saw the hint of pink on his cheeks. “Thanks, I guess. I was getting a little sick and tired of Spam for breakfast whenever Stigger’s in charge.”
I laughed and waited as Cage poured me a glass of the pink-colored punch. This was the closest thing he’s ever come to warming up to me.
“Try it with some lime,” he said as he dropped a wedge of lime into the glass and handed it to me.
I took a sip and grinned and took another one. I glanced at Tristan who was watching me with mild amusement. “It’s really good. Have you tried it?”
He tapped a finger against his cup. “I’ll stick to my coffee. I don’t exactly like vodka this early in the morning.”
I choked and Cage and Stigger both guffawed.
I wiped my mouth and took another tentative sip until I detected the very subtle bite of bitter.
“Well, that explains why it was so good,” I said with a roll of my eyes as the two quieted down. “I’ll finish this glass but if I’m out before I leave this table, you two are going to have to pay.”
We resumed eating and I turned to Tristan casually. “I want to go visit the bakeshop. Patrick and Mary Anne are getting some of the new furniture delivered today. I thought I’d check in on them.”
Tristan nodded. “I’ll go with you. Anyone else up for it?”
“I’ll go,” Stigger said. He turned to Cage. “Are you coming?”
Cage shrugged. “Sure, why not? I don’t mind being put to work.”
“Great! I’m so glad to hear that,” I said with a broad smile. I turned to Tristan and found his hand under the table. “Thanks.”
A half an hour later, we cleaned up and made our way to the bakeshop.
Both Mary Anne and Patrick were standing on the sidewalk outside of the bakeshop, giving directions to the delivery men, when we arrived in Tristan’s Range Rover which they both recognize.
Mary Anne pulled me into a hug followed by Patrick before they stepped back and surveyed me and the trio of men behind me.
“Good to see you, gentlemen,” Mary Anne greeted with an uncertain smile. “What brings all of you out here today?”
“Ollie said you might need some extra pair of hands with the furniture,” Tristan said casually, gesturing to the open door of the bakeshop. “Do you mind if we pop in and see how we can make ourselves useful?”
Patrick nodded eagerly. “Yes, sure. I’ll come with you so I can show where they’d go.”
He sneaked a thumbs-up signal at me as he filed behind the three guys walking into the bakeshop.
Mary Anne grabbed me by the arm and pulled me to the side as the delivery men carried a pile of chairs down from the truck.
“What are you doing here with Tristan?” Mary Anne asked with a puzzled expression. “I thought you swore him off and you were dating Jack. Is he back because Jack’s dead?”
I flinched, my cheeks flushing. “No. It’s not like that. Jack and I had actually decided to just stay friends before he... before his accident. Tristan came to see me after what happened here at the bakeshop. We’re just... friends. Again. For now.”
Mary Anne raised a brow. “He sure seemed friendly. I can’t say I’m surprised. I liked Jack but I always thought you never really got over Tristan.”
“It’s a little more complicated than that,” I said with a shrug, hoping to steer the conversation away from what those complications are.
As if on cue, my cellphone rang.
“It’s Jesse,” I told Mary Anne. “I have to take this. I haven’t talked to him in a while.”
Mary Anne headed back to the bakeshop and I stayed by the sidewalk.
“Ollie. Is everything okay?” was the first thing Jesse asked.
I scrunched up my brows. “Yeah. Is everything okay? You didn’t return my last email and haven’t called me back. What have you been up to?”
I couldn’t mistake his sigh of relief. “Oh, not much. Same thing. I’m kind of out of town. For work. Just haven’t had time to sit down and call you back. I got all your messages but I wanted to double check.”
The last time I left him a message, I recited an awkward explanation about Arabella and why she had my phone. For lack of creativity, I rambled on something about us throwing a friend a bachelorette party and we were all a little tipsy and that’s why Arabella said what she said.
I quickly told him about the vandalism in the bakeshop and the renovations I decided to undertake and he listened without much comment.
“Listen, Ollie,” he finally said. “You might get some papers in the mail. I had a lawyer draw me up my will and he’s sending you a copy.”
I went still. “A will?”
He cleared his throat. “Yeah. It’s just to say I’m leaving you all of my assets and—”
“I know what a will is. What I don’t understand is why the hell you’re drawing up one?” I asked curtly, my heart starting to beat faster.
“It’s just a precaution. You never know what could happen. I want everything to be in place in case something happens to me.”
I bit my lip. “Jesse Gregory Vance, what are you not telling me?”
He sighed. “Nothing. Jeez, Ollie. Couldn’t a man prepare for the inevitable? Not that there aren’t really a lot of options in our family but I just thought I’d save you the trouble in case I die.”
“Stop it!” I snapped at him, my voice trembling. “You’re not going to die. I don’t want to hear it. If you’re in trouble, tell me and I’ll get you out of it.”
The image of Jack’s lifeless body flashed back to me followed by Jesse’s face.
My stomach turned.
“I’m not in any kind of trouble,” he insisted impatiently. “It’s just a piece of paper, for heaven’s sake. If I didn’t have much to leave, I wouldn’t bother but I thought I’d do you some good. Forget it. I should’ve just never told you.”
I took a deep breath and told myself to be rational.
People drew up wills all the time. It was a smart thing to do and Jesse had good intentions.
But it perturbed me. With so much death surrounding me in the last few weeks, it was hard to be casual about the possibility of more people I cared about dying.
“I’m sorry,” I said quietly. “You’re the only family I have left, Jess. I don’t like thinking about it.”
“Me too, Olls. Me too.” He sighed again. “I was thinking of maybe coming to visit but my schedule’s kind of unpredictable right now. I’ll let you know when I can drop by.”
My mind reeled. “No, it’s not a good time. Um, it’s just really busy down here I won’t be able to make time for you. It’s probably better I come up and see you. Just tell me when.”
As much as I wanted to see Jesse and have him come home after nearly a decade of having been gone from Willow, I couldn’t risk dragging him into this all of this otherworldly mess. I wasn’t sure how I was going to leave the town to see him given that I’m on lease from Remus but that’s probably easier to figure out than having to explain all of this to my twin.
Jesse didn’t sound too sure about it. “I’m kind of mobile these days but we’ll sort it out when I have a better idea. Mary Anne and Patrick are keeping an eye on you, right?”
“As usual. We’re at the bakeshop today overseeing the renovations,” I told him, glancing at Tristan who stepped out to help the delivery men with a boxy cupboard-shaped item.
“I’m thinking you should probably hire some kind of a security guard for the bakeshop,” Jesse suggested. “And for the house. You never know in these days and times. Someone with some mean muscles to scare off anyone with funny ideas.”
My brows arched in surprise although I had to lie to reassure him. “That’s a little silly. This is Willow, Jesse. What happened in the bakeshop was just random.”
“I just want you to be safe and protected seeing I can’t be there to make sure of it myself,” he reasoned. “You’re a girl and you live alone. You’re vulnerable.”
Cage and Stigger came out to help Tristan and I smiled in irony at Jesse’s concern. He was definitely right about how vulnerable I was considering the number of times I nearly got killed and the sticky situation I was currently in with Remus but I was certainly not lacking in people who were looking out for me.
“I’ll be fine, Jesse,” I told him although a hollow ache bloomed in my heart at the realization that I could drop dead right this second if Remus wished so and my twin would never know why. “You don’t have anything to worry about.”
He reluctantly left it to me to decide as he had to suddenly go.
The dread stayed with me for the rest of the day though no matter how much I preoccupied myself. After we finished at the bakeshop, we dropped off Cage and Stigger back home and Tristan drove me to the hospital to check on Heather who was packing up to leave after she had been released that afternoon.
Scott was there too who quietly greeted us and left the room for a moment.
Heather looked at me warily, without her usual automatic hostility towards me.
“How are you doing?” I asked slowly, not sure how much she remembered from that entire incident.
She sat on the edge of the bed, brushing her blond hair down on her shoulder. She looked fine now, her bruises mostly gone. There were dark shadows under her eyes and there was a fragility about her.
“I’m fine, thanks,” she answered in a small voice. “I’m not really sure what happened to me and why I was found on the side on the road. I’ve been trying to remember but I can’t. I just keep having nightmares and I can’t remember what they are when I wake up.”
I glanced at Tristan who was quietly observing by the doorway.
“I’m sure it’ll get better, Heather,” I told her with a reassuring smile. “I hope the nightmares go away soon.”
She narrowed her eyes at me. “Did we talk or see each other at all right before all of this happened to me?”
I shook my head. “No. Why?”
She pursed her lips as if mentally debating with herself before she shook her head and shrugged. “Nothing. I don’t know. Maybe I’m just losing my mind. Maybe I’ll remember once all the medication’s been flushed out of me.”
I normally didn’t have very friendly conversations with Heather so I was fumbling for anything else I could say without revealing the truth. The best thing was just to walk away.
“Well, you take care, Heather,” I said with a nod before gesturing to the door. “Let me know if I can help with anything. I’ll see you around.”
She looked at me uncertainly before tipping a slight smile. “Sure. Thanks, Ollie.”
We didn’t see Scott on our way out but the moment we got to the parking lot, I turned to Tristan. “Will she be okay? Will the nightmares stop?”
He nodded. “Eventually. She’s hanging on to the memories emotionally so she’s having a harder time moving on but she’ll be fine.”
I got into the car and strapped my seatbelt on. “I hope no one else suffers because of this war. It’ll be over soon, won’t it?”
I was almost pleading for some reassurance but Tristan’s face was somber.
“It’s still only escalating,” he said. “I’m trying to buy us some time before it hits us because we can’t destroy Remus without reclaiming your blood first. We don’t know when he’ll strike next but we want to be ready with a plan we can set in motion once he does.”
I swallowed hard and searched his eyes. “No more sacrifices for me, Tristan, okay? I don’t want anyone else to pay the price for my life.”
His eyes burned into mine like blue flames. “I’m afraid that it’s not your choice to make, Ollie, but I’ll certainly try to make sure it won’t come to that.”
***
Later that night, after tossing and turning in my bed, I got up and slipped my robe on.
It was around midnight but I knew Tristan was still up. He’d been dealing with the details of the war in the after-hours.
I walked downstairs and made my way to the study where I knew he’d be.
I knocked softly and when I heard his muffled voice, I pushed the door open.
He was behind his desk, reading some kind of letter.
“Is this a bad time?” I asked, looking around to see if anyone else was with him.
He looked up and motioned to the chair across him. “No, it’s alright. What’s going on?”
I sat down and fidgeted with the belt of my robe, watching him return to what he was reading.
When I didn’t say anything, he looked up and put the letter down.
“What’s on your mind, Ollie?” he pressed, leaning forward to look at me.
“I want to contact my lawyer and make a will,” I blurted out awkwardly. “In case I die.”
His face hardened and he frowned. “You’re not going to die.”
I laughed dryly. “It’s the same reaction I had when my brother told me he drew up a will. I never thought about it before and our family lawyer has something similar in place but I wanted to make sure I have a proper one set up.”
Tristan clasped his hands together on the table. “It’s not necessary at the moment, Ollie. We can discuss it at a later time.”
“I can die right this second, Tristan,” I said bluntly. “We’ve been brushing it off lately because none of us wants to talk about it but if Remus is capable of what he threatened me with, he could snap his fingers and I’d drop dead right here in front of you and there’s not a damned thing you can do about it. I may not have a later time to discuss my will.”
“Dammit, you don’t think I realize that, Ollie?” Tristan snapped, standing up so suddenly his chair banged against the bureau behind him. “It’s the one thing I’ve been obsessing about in the last few days. I’ve been spending hours figuring out a way to attack without alerting Remus so he doesn’t push the button on you.”
I got up and walked to him as he stopped by the window and looked out.
“There may not be a perfect plan that will win us everything we want, Tristan,” I told him in a steadier voice than I imagined myself capable when I realized I was going to have to come to terms with my reality once and for all. “I’ve accepted my fate. I just want to make sure everyone is taken care of when I’m gone.”
He turned to me with narrowed eyes. “You’re not even going to put up a fight, are you?”
“I’m going to fight as hard as I can,” I retorted angrily. “Do you think I want to die?”
He stormed past me. “Well, you keep talking about it like you can’t wait!”
“It’s going to happen, Tristan, like it or not!” I said curtly. “If not by Remus’s hand, maybe by this were-demon poison inside me that’s starting to turn me into some kind of otherworldly creature. If I’m lucky enough to survive all of this, I’ll still die of sickness or old age. I’m not immortal like you. I need to prepare for the inevitable.”
He took a deep, sharp breath before looking back at me. His shoulders fell slightly and he nodded in resignation. “Fine. If it’ll make you happy, do it. Call you lawyer. Do what you need to do.”
When he turned to head for the door, I felt a burst of panic.
“Tristan, wait!”
He stopped and faced me.
The pain in his eyes slammed me in the gut unexpectedly that my breath caught in my throat.
“This is simply a precaution,” I explained helplessly. “I just need to make sure. Most of what I have will go to my brother and I’ll leave my share of the bakeshop to Patrick and Mary Anne and—”
“Olllie, do it if will give you peace of mind,” he said, putting his hands on my shoulders.
I bit my lip. “But you’re angry at me. I’m not doing this because I don’t believe you when you tell me you’re going to get me out of this mess. I’m doing this because I know that you can only do so much to keep destiny from fulfilling itself.”
He sighed and touched the side of my face. “I know. I don’t like to be reminded of it.”
I managed a smile. “It’s a downfall of immortality, I guess. Outliving your friends and the people you care about, always being left behind to cope with it. That’s hard.”
He rolled his eyes. “It is but I’ve always managed before. That’s just the way it is. But I’m not prepared for that with you. I refuse to think about it until it becomes absolutely necessary.”
I touched his hand that cradled the side of my face. “I can see why attachments would be a bad idea for an immortal. You should’ve stayed away from me, Tristan, from the very beginning.”
His eyes fluttered close as he pressed his forehead against mine. “I know and I tried. God, I tried. But I guess you never quite know how bad it is until it’s too late.”
I slid my arms around his neck and pulled him down gently until our lips pressed against each other.
This was a different kiss—slow, tender, cautious.
“Could you stay with me tonight?” I asked in whisper, my cheeks warming. I looked away from his searching eyes and pressed my cheek against his chest. “If you’re not busy. Just to keep me company, if you don’t mind.”
“I’ll stay with you,” he murmured back, resting his hands on my hips. “Come on.”
He took my hand and held it as we made our way up to my room.
There was something about the connection, unaided by words or expressions, that forced my fears down—at least for the moment. I wasn’t going to think about the future tonight.
I slipped off my robe and tossed it on an armchair as Tristan closed the door behind him. I sat down on the bed and pulled the elastic off of my hair, letting it drape over one shoulder.
Tristan stood and watched me with unguarded eyes, affection and desire glimmering in them. The only light in the room was from the lamp on the night stand on each side of the bed and it seemed to illuminate Tristan’s luminous, pale golden skin and cast an almost halo-like radiance around his blond head.
“Shoes off,” I said with a small smile, patting the space next to me.
He kicked his shoes off and yanked the covers aside so we could slip under them.
He propped up the pillows behind him and pulled me into his arms, letting my head rest against his chest. I was warm in my cotton nightdress with Tristan’s body pressed against mine but he pulled the covers up to my shoulders.
We were quiet for a few minutes, just listening to the stillness of the night and the alternate beating of our hearts.
“Were you angry at me about Jack and Devon?” I asked.
He sighed. “I was angry about the situation but not exactly at you. I knew you were hurting and it was my fault.”
I looked up at him. “Devon didn’t leave you much choice. I just wish you told me.”
“If I did, you would’ve fought it and that would’ve reinforced the Stellars’ decision, seeing you were willing to overlook your own safety for the sake of being in my company,” he answered as a matter-of-factly. “Devon was still determined to do it but I persuaded him to delay it and that for the meantime, I was going to stay away from you while this whole thing with Remus was escalating. I figured I could sit down with you one day and explain it to you and everything would be alright.”
I snorted. “It’s not as simple as you think, Tristan.”
“I know. I’m not really used to explaining myself, alright?” he said. “I usually just do what I want to do and expect everyone to understand why I’m doing it since no one really asks me any questions.”
I smiled. “You may be as old as time but you certainly have a thing or two to learn when it comes to relationships—like communication.”
“I didn’t operate that way,” he said with a mischievous half-grin. “I didn’t really have relationships. I had sex and some conversation with lots of women but not relationships because there’s a whole platter of complications in those that I don’t have the patience to deal with. I’ve always just preferred that we both get what we wanted and move on.”
I propped up on my elbows to look at him in incredulity. “And you wonder why I didn’t quite trust that you didn’t just come to me for sex and left after you got it?”
“I did come to you for sex among many other things but I wasn’t quite thinking of moving on just yet,” he corrected, slightly amused.
“And when you are you planning on doing that?” I demanded, scowling. “Because if that’s still the ending to this whole thing between you and me, you might as well do it now. I’m not going to be one of those girls who will fuck you and then be on their way. I was a vir—never mind.”
I got so grumpy I plopped back down on the bed and rolled to the side away from him.
“Ollie, come back here,” he said, tugging on my elbow but I pulled my arm away.
Groaning in exasperation, he grabbed me by the hips and flipped me over until I landed squarely right on top of him. I struggled to move away but he held me by the wrists and and wrapped his legs around mine.
“In case none of this has been made clear enough yet, I don’t intend to just sleep with you and send you on your way,” he said, his teasing smile fading. His bright blue eyes were fixed on me intensely.
“After we spent that night together, all I wanted was to have you next to me all the time but certain sacrifices had to be made for your sake,” he said. “I resisted visiting your thoughts and hearing something I didn’t want to know but it was driving me up the wall to know Jack was subbing for me a little too well. Devon made matters worse when he joined in and went after you himself especially since it was his little ultimatum that forced me to keep my distance from you.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Jack was a great guy. He cared a lot about me but he understood I couldn’t feel the same way about him. And don’t blame Devon. I don’t think he could help it more than I could help myself.”
Tristan’s eyes narrowed. “Please don’t tell me you’re infatuated with Devon. Despite everything, I really like the guy and I don’t really want to have to rip his head off.”
“Don’t be so barbaric, Tristan,” I chided. “Devon cares about both of us a lot. Despite his own interests, he doesn’t want to hurt you intentionally. He’s defended you many times even when he couldn’t tell me the truth at first. While at the cemetery, he told me I should be with the person I’d be happy with.”
“And am I that person?” Tristan asked, releasing my wrists and wrapping his arms around me.
I looked into his eyes. “Being with you is going to bring me a lot more pain than I’d want a share of but if I’m going to be honest with myself, yes, you make me happy. God knows why but you do.”
He smiled and wrapped a lock of hair around his fingers. “If I’m going to be honest with myself, and with you, you make me feel the same exact way. I don’t understand how but I’m quite miserable without you.”
He lifted me up over his body so that our faces were only inches apart and without saying anything else, we kissed tenderly.
There was no tiptoeing around the truth anymore.
I was in love with the enigma that was Tristan and there was not a damned thing I could do about it.