Misa kneeled in a dark and remote corner of a forest, alone. Throwing aside the small shovel she had been using, she dug her hands into the dirt at the foot of a tall beech tree, retrieving a medium, flat box. Lifting its lid, she found a black notebook with two words etched on its cover in white.
Death Note.
Curiously, she picked up the book. Then she gasped and gave a little yelp, as a surge of forgotten memories suddenly awakened in her...of a purple-haired demon following her around like a puppy and constant companion...of hours were spent writing names into the notebook that the demon, Rem, had given her...of days dreaming of and looking for Kira, her savior...
She remembered laying eyes on Light for the first time from afar, in Aoyama. She remembered seeing him through the haze of red that were her shinigami eyes—seeing that he was the only one among hundreds of people who had no lifespan floating under his name...a name that was the name of her hero, the object of her worship, and the man she had been searching for: Light Yagami.
She remembered following him to his house, thanking him for avenging her parents' murders, and confessing her love. She remembered his lips on hers.
And she remembered the plan.
"I remember...everything," she whispered aloud. Then she squealed with delight, flipping through the familiar notebook. "I remember everything from when this notebook was mine!"
Light had buried it here for her to regain her memories later. She sighed happily at the thought of him. Light. He was so smart, and so wonderful. Her savior.
A slip of folded paper fell out of the notebook, catching her eye. She bent to pick it up. Inscribed on the outside were the words: For Misa. Light Yagami.
"A letter from Light!" she exclaimed happily, then opened it to read.
Dear Misa, it said. By the time you read this letter, you should have remembered everything. Do you remember my friend at To-oh University who went by the name Hideki Ryuga? I want you to write his name in the notebook and kill him. Also, burn this letter, hide a few pages of the notebook with you, and bury the notebook. When you meet me again, casually touch me with a piece of the notebook. If you do this, Misa Amane, I will love you for the rest of my life.
The final sentence seared through Misa's consciousness like a flaming torch. Love you for the rest of my life—Rest of my life—Rest of my life...
Misa squealed like a happy child. "Yes! Yes, I'll do it!"
With ecstatic fervor she grabbed a pen from out of her purse, flipped to a blank page in the notebook, and bent over to write. Now she could finally be useful to Light. Now she could show him that she was a woman worthy to be by his side for their rest of their lives. Now she could finally help him remove his greatest obstacle—Hideki Ryuga, who was Ryuzaki, who was L.
With glee she brought the pen to the page, and then stopped as her mind drew a sudden blank. She stayed kneeled like that for a moment, fist clenched around her writing utensil and teeth gritted. Then she threw the pen to the ground and wailed.
"I can't remember his name!" she moaned to the silent trees. Desperate, she thumped her fists at her temples, but it was no good. She had seen hundreds of names and lifespans every single day while she had the shinigami eyes. She couldn't possibly remember one out of the million...and how could she have known, back then, that that weirdo she had seen Light standing next to outside of his school was none other than his nemesis, L? She hadn't paid enough attention at the time to the name over his head to remember it.
"Argh," she growled, then picked up the pen again. Well, at least there was something she could do for now. Julie's name she knew, and Light had wanted her to write it down too.
Without delay, Misa wrote it onto the blank page in a quick, messy scribble. Julie Amachi. Then she sat back on her heels with a sigh of satisfaction.
"There," she said to herself.
She gazed at the name she had written. For a brief moment, the slightest shred of remorse entered into her consciousness. She shook her head and quashed the notion. Julie had been her friend, yes...but there was something about Julie that made her dangerous. Something that made her know things she shouldn't know. Something that didn't make sense.
And in any case, it was too late now.
"Sorry, Julie," she whispered softly to the page. "But it's every woman for her man...and you chose the wrong one to side with."
Anyone who got in Light's way, and in the way of Light and her being together, she would not hesitate to destroy.
Throwing away the last vestiges of guilt that she felt, she got to her feet and sighed, putting her hands to her hips. Now there was just the matter of figuring out what L's real name was. It was too bad that her shinigami eyes hadn't returned to her along with her memories. How unfair! She would just have to make the deal for the eyes again, even if it did mean halving her lifespan one more time...but for Light, it would be worth it.
A sudden rustle in the trees startled her, and she looked up. There, landing in the trees, was a tall, winged demon with gray skin, bulging yellow eyes, and spiky black hair.
"I have returned to the human world!" he announced with a cackle.
Misa stared at him for a second. Then gave a cry of delight. "Ryuk!"
The demon flew down from the branch and landed on his feet. "Glad to see you remember me, kid."
"Oh, you are just the person I wanted to see right now!" exclaimed Misa, clapping her hands. "Well, you or Rem. Any shinigami, really...Oh! But I do have something just for you." She began to dig through her purse.
"Eh? What would that be?" said the demon, scratching his head with a long claw. "And why were you wanting to see a shinigami?"
"Oh, just something Light told me to bring for you," she said airily in response to the first question. "Where is it..." she muttered as she dug around in the purse. She was carrying her big, throw-anything-and-everything-in-it one today. It was super inconvenient. "Anyway," she went on as she continued her search, "I wanted to see one of you, because I want to make the deal for the eyes again."
The demon went still before her.
"You do know what that means, don't you?" he said after a long pause, his voice low and gravelly. "Your lifespan will be halved again."
"Yeah, yeah, I know," huffed Misa, still searching through her bag. "But what choice do I have? I need to find a name for Light. Ah! Here it is!" She withdrew her hand from out of the bag, brandishing a bright, red apple. "Ta-da! Your favorite, right? So, what do you say?" She dangled the fruit before him like a prize, her lips upturned in a coy smile. "Deal?"
Ryuk swooped forward and grabbed the apple.
"Deal," he cackled.
...
Jubilee was looking at the world through someone else's eyes. She wasn't sure who. The world was tinged with red, and over a sea of bustling people the air was filled with letters and numbers floating over every person's head. Except one boy in the crowd lacked any numbers underneath the letters, which spelled...Light Yagami.
The scene changed. Jubilee was standing outside of To-Oh University. In front of her stood L, gawking at her with wide eyes. Over his head a name and number hovered.
L Lawliet. 326.
Again the scene shifted. Jubilee saw herself, standing outside of headquarters and wearing a mournful expression. Although the air was still tinged with red, there was no name or number hanging over her head...only a complex crest of bright, interwoven wisps of light rising up from the crown of her head. The light intensified until the red tinge lifted and the scene blurred, then shifted again...
And rapidly began to change from one image to the next: A girl's hand scrawling the name, Julie Amachi, into a notebook. L sharing his plate of tiramisu with Jubilee. A 7 floating over his head. L removing the handcuffs from his and Light's wrists, a 3 hovering over his head. L sitting downstairs in front of his computer in the dead of night, alone. The 3 turning into a 2. A strange, clawed hand writing the name from before, L Lawliet, into a notebook.
And then L falling from his chair...falling...falling...
...
Jubilee jolted awake, sweating. The red glare of her bedside alarm clock shone into her eyes, reading 3:21 AM.
"Three," she whispered groggily to herself, faint images of reddish numbers flitting briefly through her mind's eye before fading. "Two..."
Suddenly unbearably hot, she threw the covers off of herself and sat up. At the foot of her bed Hellenos stood, shining softly.
Can't sleep? he said.
She shook her head. "It's hot in here," she grumbled. The clear image of L sitting downstairs, alone, wisped through her mind before retreating back into her subconscious again. "I—I think I'm going to get some fresh air," she said, swinging her legs out of bed and getting to her feet.
Hellenos said nothing, simply glided after her as she left her room and padded quietly down the hall.
Passing Watari's office, she paused briefly, her knuckles upraised to knock. The old man liked to stay up late sometimes, but he did still sleep on occasion. Lowering her hand, she continued down the hall, past Misa's now empty room, and stopped at the elevator, pressing the down button.
Who was she kidding? She had been wanting to go downstairs from the start. Memories of L's face from the day before, void of emotion, and the sound of his thoughts, defeated and despondent as he removed Light's handcuffs, filled her head. The memory of the old Light, imbued with a happy yellow glow while sitting by the detective's side, seemed to fade like an old, vintage photograph.
The doors opened and she entered the elevator, along with Hellenos.
"Do you think he's lonely?" she whispered softly as they descended. "Without having Light there with him anymore?"
It was a strange thought, seeing as L had never stopped suspecting Light of being Kira, and the latter was now trying to do him in, but she couldn't stop thinking it nonetheless.
You could ask him yourself.
Jubilee blew air out through her lips in response, just as the doors opened to the darkness of the main room. She stepped out, Hellenos following. Ahead of them, dim light shone from the surveillance monitor and one lone computer screen. L sat hunched before it, shrouded in his usual gray haze.
"Good evening, Miss Amachi," he said without turning around.
"How did you know it was me?" she asked, approaching and taking a seat next to him. Hellenos took up position a few feet away.
L didn't turn to her. "Watari is in for the night, Light has returned home to see his mother and sister, and out of the remaining task force members, you are the most likely to have trouble sleeping peacefully this evening." He pointed a slim finger at the main monitor without lifting his head. "And I saw you coming down the elevator."
She rolled her eyes. "Just say that from the start, why don't you."
"To what do I owe the pleasure of this unexpected visit?"
Jubilee drummed her fingers awkwardly on the desk. "I...thought you could use the company. It's been a while since you've been alone."
L's tone remained apathetic. "I've always been alone," he said. The line over his head wavered ever so slightly.
She crossed her arms. "See, that's exactly what I used to tell myself. But then you locked me up in a room by myself for fifty days, and I started missing even the brattiest kids back at Wakahisa." She gave him a sidelong glance. "You've had Light next to you for the last—what? Half a year? And when you guys weren't kicking each other in the face, you actually acted kind of like friends half the time."
She let the statement hang in the air for a second. L remained silent, neither agreeing or refuting her. The haze around him remained gray and dim, without any hint of color or light. She softened.
"You're human, Ryuzaki," she said gently. "Whether you like to admit it or not. And it's hard for humans to lose their friends, even if the friendship was short-lived, or—under false pretenses." Memories of Alyssa and Adam flashed briefly through her head, and she added softly, "I know better than most."
L said nothing for a moment. Then he inclined his head her way slightly without looking at her. "I'm sure you do, Miss Amachi," he said. "And I'm sorry."
She waved away his apology. "Forget about it, I'm not fishing for pity."
"I mean for your solitary confinement. I'm sorry for putting you through that."
She stopped at that and looked at him. The line over his head was straight and unwavering. "I know you are," she said quietly. "And I already forgave you."
He dipped his head but still didn't look her way. "My thanks."
There was another awkward pause, before she added with a laugh, "Took me a while though."
L didn't laugh. "Watari always says, how you end up matters more than how you started."
"Watari's very wise."
"That he is."
They settled into another, more comfortable silence this time. She stared up at the ceiling, willing herself to speak the words that were on her mind.
"I still believe in you," she managed at last. There was no answer from L and she felt her cheeks heat. "That—that you'll figure out a way...to solve this case, and to catch Kira," she added quickly.
L didn't speak for a long moment. "How can you?" he said finally, in a voice so low that she could barely hear. "I am on the verge of being checkmated."
Jubilee whipped her head back around to him in alarm. The line over his head was straight, making her heart plummet. He really believed that? But, if someone like L believed something, then that meant...
"That's not true," she protested frantically, as much to herself as to him. "Don't say things like that. You'll find a way, you always do."
"Perhaps," he murmured. The line over his head trembled and cracked, but didn't quite break.
She stared at that line for a second, breath held. When it continued to hold, she exhaled in relief. Then she reached over and punched him in the arm, hard.
He finally turned to her, eyes wide with surprise. "What—"
"You do believe that there might be a way!" she cried. "Even if it's just a little bit. I can see it!" she added, waving towards the space over his head, slightly hysterical. "So don't scare me by making it sound like you're about to die or something."
He continued to stare at her for a moment, his eyes large and gray, before they slowly narrowed. "I believe that there is a five to ten percent chance that things may turn around, simply because common sense posits that there must always be room left for the unexpected. But," His voice took on a bitter tone. "I'm sure that even you, Miss Amachi, can see that those chances are, as they say, slim to none."
Jubilee suddenly remembered something that Christine used to say to her, something that used to annoy her like no other, but that she now heard coming out of her own lips. "If you have faith the size of a mustard seed," she whispered, quoting the familiar verse, "Even if it's small...anything is possible. So," she continued, leaning forward, "Believe in yourself, Ryuzaki...because I do."
He looked sidelong at her, his expression a mixture of doubt and annoyance. "Why is it so important to you what I do or don't believe?" he said, almost sounding sour. "What will happen will happen."
"Because you're the mighty L," she declared. "The greatest detective in the world. Remember? And if you believe something is so...then I know that it will be so."
He looked at her a moment longer, then turned away, his hair falling into his eyes. "You put far too much faith in me, Miss Amachi."
She felt a sudden surge of anger and frustration—at him for wanting to give up, at herself for failing to have done more for the case and for him, at Light and the notebook and the powers that were responsible for causing this whole mess. She put a hand on the desk and stood abruptly. "On the contrary, Ryuzaki," she began, with sudden resolve. "I haven't show enough faith in you up until this point...even though you've put plenty of undeserved faith and trust in me. So now it's my turn to remind you of who you are and what you're capable of."
Leaning down, she swiveled his chair round to face her and gripped the arms of the chair so that he had to look at her. "You are L. No case is too hard for you. You can solve this case, and you will solve this case...not because you are good at it, or for your own sake, or because of your abilities...but because it is needed of you, for the sake of others," she said, repeating his own words back that he had used to exhort her only a week ago. Gazing into his eyes, she continued, "I was wrong about you in the beginning, Ryuzaki...I thought that you only cared about yourself and the case. But now I know better. I know that—that you have far too much goodness in you, to ultimately let your doubts, and the circumstances, win out over your desire to help others. I can see that in you...perhaps more than you can see it yourself."
L gazed back at her in silence, his face unreadable at first. Then, from beyond the haze of gray around him, there glimmered the slightest hint of light. "Well," he said finally. "I suppose I cannot deny that you do see even more than I can from time to time." Then, slowly, gentle colors began to unfurl from around him like a blossoming flower, and his expression softened into the closest thing to a smile she had ever seen from him.
Jubilee felt her heart thump. Their close proximity suddenly registered with her. Releasing her grip from the chair, she straightened and took a few steps back. "Yes, well," she said, turning to hide the flush that had come to her cheeks. "That's why you should listen to me." Miraculously she managed not to stutter.
"I will, Miss Amachi." There was a pause. "Thank you."
She made a noncommittal sound of acknowledgment and sat back down, willing her heart rate to return to normal and swiveling to face the back of the room in an attempt hide her discomposure. She was met with the sight of Hellenos—who was wearing a big grin on his face.
What are you looking at? she thought with a scowl.
Oh nothing, he answered, still grinning. Just thought I'd have to wait another thousand years before you finally expressed your feelings to him.
I didn't, she thought, alarmed. ...Did I?
"Miss Amachi," said L.
She turned to him, schooling her features into a semblance of calm. "Yes?"
He was gazing at her with a thoughtful look. "Watari used to try to get me to understand...the virtues of seeing and believing the best in others," he began. "He demonstrated by example—first and foremost with me. I have never encountered anyone else who saw me in such a way, and was convinced that I never would." He hesitated a moment, the colors around him churning as though in uncertainty. "I would like to let you know though, Miss Amachi..." he continued, slowly, "That I believe you may have proven me wrong."
Jubilee's heart skipped a beat. She remembered the story Watari had told her, and now, combined with the memory of the event coming from L's own mind, an image of the past formed clearly in her mind's eye. Love is simply seeing and believing the best in something or someone, even when others don't, were the old man's words to a younger L, a twinkle in his eye. Just like I do, with you.
She swallowed. For the first time ever, a glimmer of hope sparked in her chest. "Then do you, understand now?" she asked, trying to sound casual. "What Watari was talking about?"
L paused, seemingly mulling the thought over in his mind. "No," he answered at last, turning back to his computer. Jubilee felt the spark in her chest go out. "But," he continued softly, "I think I'm beginning to."
Jubilee felt the hope from before flicker back to life. She smiled. "Take all the time that you need," she said. "How you end up matters more than how you started, isn't that what Watari would say?"
"Yes," L muttered. He paused again, as though lost in a memory. "But," he went on sardonically, "I may die before I ever grasp what it was he was talking about."
Jubilee was about to laugh off his statement, before the echo of similar words from a younger L whispered through her mind, followed by the strange but familiar image of a man falling from a chair—falling, falling. She shook her head to clear it, and the image faded. Suddenly somber, she turned away.
"Not if I can help it," she whispered, too softly for anyone but Hellenos to hear.