MOST of the time, I felt reasonably okay, like free in a way; but then other times when my phone would ring or I'd receive a text, an overwhelming sense of dread loomed over my head, like a dark cloud does over the sky before a storm brews and ruins the day.
"Where are they?" Spencer asked, me her and Aria stood just outside the gymnasium awaiting the swim team to come out after the big meet. Although Emily was meant to be 'taking a break' from swimming because of us doing community service, Mona managed to check her back onto the team without leaving a single trace behind.
"I told my Mom we'd be studying at the library, so that's covered." Aria hummed, I clutched my folders against my chest, the school day had finished but we'd stayed behind to watch Em swim for the first time after a while.
"Good." Spence nodded.
"You sure you wanna do this tonight?" Aria asked Spencer, who seemed on edge for some reason, she had been all day. "Yeah, are you kidding?" Spence retorted rhetorically. "We have to find out what this guy knows about Ali."
Spencer and Aria had planned to meet up with the guy who answered the number in the coat of 'Vivians', I was meant to go with them but couldn't because I promised my Mom I'd be home to help cook dinner because Dads working a late shift.
"So, my Mom talked to your Mom." Aria mumbled, I briefly listened in to their conversation but because nothing was directed to me I kept my eyes fixated on the doors ahead of us.
"You know it wasn't just one sleepover Spence, it's been a whole week, my Mom just...wants to know why you're not going home." Aria shrugged lightly. I glanced over at Spencer and furrowed my brows. "Wait, why haven't you been going home?" I asked, she shook her head and gazed at the floor. I placed my folders into my bag as they were making my arms ache from holding them.
"I just...I can't deal with my family right now." Spencer whispered, Aria and I shared a quick look. "Hey look, they're out." I grabbed the girls attention quickly as the doors opened with the swim team filing out. Em came out first holding the big trophy. A grin splashed across my face as her happiness radiated some of my own.
"Yeah!" We each cheered, everyone applauded them loudly.
We moved over to where Emily stood with Maya, Spencer slinked through a few people before embracing Emily tightly. "Way to go champ!" She squealed.
"Well done Em, you did amazing!" I gushed, hugging her tightly before pulling back.
"Em! My Mom said we can have the team party at my house." Hanna came over and stood beside me, "That's great!" Emily beamed. She turned to me and gave me soft puppy eyes, "I'll come for a little while, then I gotta head home." I smiled to which she returned.
My eyes cast over towards the doors behind Em which opened, Officer Garrett and another officer strode in as if they owned the place. "What's going on?" I asked quietly, each of the girls looked over towards them.
They walked straight past us and over to Caleb, speaking to him briefly before taking his laptop away and putting it inside an evidence clear plastic bag. My brows furrowed and I glanced at Hanna, she moved away from us and made a beeline towards him.
༄
I only stayed at the swim team party for around forty five minutes, Hanna informed us that apparently Caleb's laptop had loads of private school files logged on there; She claimed he was hacked and that they were put on there, I think we all knew the answer as to who uploaded those files onto his computer.
Ledger and I hadn't seen much of eachother this week as there was a huge car pile-up along the motorway just outside of town, so he'd been extremely busy treating lots of patients; I was always patient with him and told him he didn't need to stress about making time to see me, I could wait forever and I'd still be there for him.
Jason had kind of gone awol, hadn't been at work since last week and I barely saw him around town, Spence said he told her he'd been back and forth from here and Philly, the guy was a complete and utter mystery.
"So...that's why you were never charged with shoplifting?" Aria asked, she was curled up on her side on Spencer's bed, I was sat beside her, Hanna paced around the room slowly. "Ok, you know what? Please, no jokes, no judging." Hanna ran a hand through her hair.
"All of this was over a pair of designer sunglasses?" Spencer asked, dumbfounded, Hanna shot her a deadpanned expression. "I'm just processing it, sorry." Spence mumbled.
"God if my Mom knew I'd told you guys this..." Hanna sighed heavily, "Han, come on, we'd never judge your Mom." I retorted softly. She sent me a small appreciative smile. It turns out that while Hanna was in her shoplifting phase, she never got into big trouble with the police because her Mom and Detective Wilden had a little 'fling' going on.
"Yeah...the real question is whys A suddenly going after Mona?" Spence asked, Mona had been sent a few threats from A one being a report of Hanna's theft that was never looked at by any officers because Wilden had cleared it, if that got sent to the cops, Hanna, her Mom and Wilden would be in major trouble.
"Probably because they can't turn us against eachother so they're using our friends to hurt us." Aria suggested.
"How much did you tell Mona about A?" Em asked, Hanna shrugged, "Nothing..." she mumbled.
"I'm going to go get something to eat, sorry Spence, gotta raid your fridge 'cause there's more in there then there is in mine!" Hanna scoffed slightly as she stood up and moved over to the door.
"When you go down there could you look outside and see if Garretts car is still out front?" Spence asked her, Hanna nodded before slinking out the doorway. "He followed me home." Spence whispered to us, I grimaced and glanced down at my lap.
"A sent my Dad a letter, trying to get him to catch me and Ezra, and now my Moms on the hunt to find out who A is..." Aria rushed out without a single breath. I slowly looked over at her.
"Wait back up..." I mumbled, she sucked in her bottom lip and looked at me shyly.
"Why would A send your Dad a letter like that if you weren't still seeing Ezra?" Spencer asked. Aria fiddled with her rings before looking back up at us.
"Because I am....still seeing Ezra." She mumbled.
My eyes bulged out my head, Emily's head reared back and Spence almost choked on air.
"Guys I...I'm sorry ok? I really wanted to tell you, I just...I thought it'd be dangerous..." Aria sighed, Em reached over me and grabbed her hand. "We understand." Em reassured her, my brows furrowed together, who's we?
"No! What? Speak for yourself! Didn't we have like multiple conversations where we talked about how heartbroken we were over losing Toby and Ezra?" Spencer retorted.
"I'm with Spence on this, Aria, this is serious shit, especially now A knows." I shrugged lightly, "look, I'm sorry but if it's any consolation my Dad is making sure that he can do anything he can to get Ezra out of my life and Rosewood for good." Aria said.
"You guys! Come down here!" Hanna called out from downstairs, I sprung up off the bed and rushed out the door behind Spencer.
Hanna sat at Spencer's kitchen island, typing away on Spencer's laptop, "Caleb sent me an email and told me to open the attachment immediately."
I slipped onto a stall beside her and rested my elbows on the counter, "What is this about, did he crack more of A's phone?" Em asked, the video we'd seen of the NAT club, minus Jason, showed on the screen.
"If he did, I want $2,000 back." Spence mumbled, which is what she gave Jonah when her and Aria met up with him, apparently it was the money owed to him but all he gave them was a location, no name, nothing.
"What are we supposed to be looking for?" I asked quietly, the video glitched before starting up again, the camera was lying on the floor facing upwards, you could see Alison's bedroom door.
"Shes coming upstairs!" Jenna's voice muffled out through the speaker, "Are we about to see Alison get killed?" Han asked.
The bedroom door burst open and Mellissa Hastings rushed in, we each collectively gasped, but our eyes were transfixed on the screen. "Where is she?" Melissa hissed on the video.
"Oh my god." Em breathed out, my mouth was still agape in shock.
"Guys we need to give this to the cops, like right now!" Aria ordered, I moved off the stool and brought a hand up to pinch the bridge of my nose. "I agree." I mumbled. Em hummed in agreement.
"Yeah me too," Hanna turned round to face us, "No!" Spencer snapped. "Why?" I asked her. "I need to talk to Mellissa first, we need to find out what she was doing in Alison's bedroom!" Spence rushed out.
"Isn't it obvious? She was apart of that night, they were all after Alison." Em retorted.
"You don't know that...she...she could've just been looking for Ian!" Spence moved away from us, we each gave her a stern look.
"I'm not about to turn in my pregnant sister." Spencer's face scrunched up in disapproval. "I will, watch me." Hanna shrugged.
"Hanna! You just asked me so quick to not judge your own Mother and now you're ready to throw my sister behind bars!" Spencer argued back.
"Spencer, Mellissa has lied to you so many times, why do you think she's gonna tell the truth now huh?" Aria asked frantically. "Because I haven't always been so honest with her either." Spencer folded her arms over her chest.
"But maybe if I come clean, and tell her what we saw-" She suggested, "-She'll come up with a bigger lie!" Em interrupted her loudly, I lifted a hand to Emily and nodded in agreement.
"Please, okay, just give me this one night to talk to her." Spencer pleaded, I glanced at the girls, "fine, fine...go to her and then we'll try to figure out where A was sending those texts from." Aria said shortly before moving back over to us.
I grabbed my jacket off the counter and threw it on, "Spence...talk to her, now." Han ordered before grabbing her handbag, I looped my arm through hers as we headed out the door.
༄
Ledger had phoned me just after I left Spencer's and told me that he was outside mine and wondering where I was. I didn't want to ditch the girls but they ushered me off to see him as I hadn't seen him in almost a week; plus they didn't want him to become suspicious like their boyfriends had become.
"Hey." I called as I shut my car door behind me and locked it, Ledger moved off the side of his car as he had leant up against it, I always screamed internally a little whenever he was in scrubs because he always looked so good.
"Hi, where were you?" He asked, bringing me into his chest before pulling away and softly brushing his lips over my own.
"I was at Spencer's, helping her study for an exam she has next week." I lied, reaching down and taking his hand in my own, "Stay the night?" I asked him as we made our way up my drive.
"I was hoping you'd ask." He grinned down at me as I unlocked the front door and kicked it open, Mocha completely ignored me and dove straight onto Ledger.
"Hello!" I called out, closing the front door behind me and hanging my jacket and bag up, my Mother wandered round from out the kitchen.
"Oh hi Ledger! Was that you on the driveway waiting?" Mom asked, "Yeah, sorry I didn't want to barge in or anything but Quinn told me she'd be home shortly after I arrived so..." He shrugged.
"Nonsense, you come in whenever you like, whether Quinn's here or not, you're always welcome inside." My Mother moved over and pinched his cheek slightly before heading into the living room.
"Hi Mom! How are you? I'm your daughter...Quinn, remember me?" I called sarcastically, Ledger chuckled at my demeanour but I shot him a look. I heard my Mother let out a faint laugh from the living room.
"Come on." I smiled softly before heading up the stairs, Ledger collapsed straight onto my bed whilst I began to put on some comfier clothes.
"I love how majority of my wardrobe has now become yours." I giggled, opening it up and seeing how half was filled with my stuff and half was filled with Ledgers, a piece of him was almost in every corner of my room, some of his aftershave on my dressing table, clothes in my wardrobe and drawers, a spare toothbrush of his in the bathroom, and shower gels and shampoo that belonged to him too.
"Yeah I like it too.." he hummed, "Get undressed, you've probably been all sweaty at work and you're rolling around in my bed, ugh." I grimaced, smacking his leg lightly, he sat upright laughing and I admired how beautiful he looked in the moment.
"Thought you loved me in my scrubs?" He teased, moving forward and pressing his forehead against my own, his coffee-brown eyes piercing into mine.
"I do but, when you're ruining my clean bed, nuh-uh, out." I ordered pressing a finger to his chest and pushing him off me, a grin spread over his lips before he moved off the bed and over to the wardrobe.
"Did you wanna do something tomorrow?" I asked, throwing the covers back before slinking into my bed, Ledger lifted his shirt off before throwing on a grey sweatshirt.
"I finish at eight, is that any good?" He glanced over at me. "That's perfect, it's the Father-Daughter dance at school so I just figured, because I have a free night..." I shrugged lightly.
"Yeah sure, I can pick you up and we can go for a drive somewhere and get some food?" Ledger suggested, I beamed and nodded excitedly, I always loved random drives with him.
༄
The girls informed me on Friday morning that Jonah had phoned Aria with a different location he'd found that Alison had received texts from. It was in a place called Brookhaven, the girls checked it out yesterday and promised me they'd keep me informed. It turned out to be a street that had a doll shop near the corner, we'd come to the conclusion that perhaps it was the doll shop A had gotten those creepy Chucky dolls of us from a while back.
Shortly after, Aria had put Vivian's red jacket on because she was cold, but someone recognised her dark brunette hair and the signature red coat, apparently his name was Duncan, he'd agreed to meet up with Aria in the schools courtyard today at lunchtime.
"Duncan saw Ali that weekend?" Spencer asked Aria, we all wandered down through the town as the school day was over, Aria was de-briefing her conversation with Duncan to us.
"Are we sure we believe him?" Han asked, "Yeah, the guy could be another pawn in A's game." I suggested.
"He was all torn up when I told him she was dead, he couldn't have been faking that." Aria shrugged, I nudged Emily's shoulder with mine as she seemed really quiet. "You okay?" I asked her softly, the girls glanced back at us.
"Yeah, sure." Em mumbled. I kept my gaze fixated on her slightly as we kept walking, unsure whether I believed her answer.
An engined revved ahead of us and we all stopped, Garretts car was parked on the road just up ahead before speeding off down the road.
"Why's Garrett in such a hurry?" Spencer asked sternly, all of a sudden our phones all pinged, I groaned as I reached into my jacket pocket and pulled it out.
"'Where there's smoke there's payback, A.'" Em read out, my brows furrowed, Aria stepped forward and looked over the road at the Cavanaugh house where the front door had just opened. We all sauntered behind.
Toby came out first, Jenna holding his arm and using her stick with the other hand, a fire department chief headed out behind them and Toby begun pointing around the area and speaking to him.
"Wait, whats going on?" I asked, "I don't know." Spence mumbled. "What are they talking to the fire department about?" Aria asked, my heart faltered slightly, as a reminder of Jenna, fire, and the girls...
"They're talking about that night...The Jenna thing." Emily mumbled. "Are you serious?" Hanna asked nervously.
"What could Toby be telling them?" Aria added, Spencer kept her gaze fixated on him as her mouth parted agape slightly. I just prayed he wouldn't rat them out and betray Spencer.
"I did such a good job of screwing him up, he might say anything Jenna wants him to say." She folded her arms over her chest.
"That we were the ones who blinded Jenna? Minus Quinn..." Hanna mumbled, I shifted uncomfortably, I felt awful for them. "Alison and us." Em added.
An officer walked past us holding a clipboard, crossed the road and joined the group outside the Cavanaugh house as Toby continued to ramble on and explain whatever he was talking about.
༄
Hanna and I were over at Spencer's going through stuff in the bag that belonged to Ali Jason had given us, and while we didn't find anything inside the bag, we figured out that the whole bag is a clue.
Spencer had told Han and I to head back to Jason's back porch and grab the bag from there and Spencer had dropped it back round earlier on.
"God there's mosquitoes everywhere." Hanna groaned and whacked the air around her, I tried not to trip on the uneven ground beneath me as we made our way through the side entrance to both the Dilaurentis' and the Hastings' backyards.
"Han..." I mumbled as my eyes cast up to the window beside us, smoke filtered out from it.
"Oh my god!" She gasped, running round with me trailing close behind, we bounded up onto the Dilaurentis' backyard porch; the backdoor window was orange, light flickering from inside and everything was fogged up.
"What the hell?" I asked quietly. Suddenly a figure smacked against the glass inside before dropping to the floor.
"Holy shit!" I gasped, Hanna yanked the door open to reveal Jenna passed out on the floor, "Jenna!" Han shouted, grabbing the girl and pulling her outside, I coughed and spluttered as I reached down to help pull her out.
"Han! Jason's not in there is he?" I shouted, Hanna lifted Jenna off the floor and wrapped one of her arms over her shoulder, "Hanna! Is Jason in there?" My voice was frantic, panic flooded me and before I could stop myself I'd bolted into the burning building.
"Quinn, No!" Hanna shouted behind me, but she was too late, I'd dodged the cascade of fire rapidly spreading, "Jason!" I shouted, my voice hoarse as my lungs filled with the smoke from the fire.
"Jason! Are you in here!" I shouted once more, I'd checked the whole of the downstairs and couldn't find him, but running towards the staircase I was met with the fire spreading up each step, I grabbed the banister without realising it was alight and burnt all of my hand and forearm.
"Ah!" I hissed, the sizzling of my skin caused tears to prick my eyes, I couldn't get up there; no chance.
Bounding back towards the backdoor I burst out, coughing ferociously, practically falling down the porch steps and straight into Spencer's arms.
"Hospital, now!" Spencer called, she held me tight against her as I fumbled to hold myself upright.
༄
I was treated in an A&E wing, I'd told the nurse to tell Ledger that I was here as I knew he'd find out I'm here eventually.
Sauntering out into the lobby my hand and wrist throbbed under the bandages, I clutched it against my stomach and held it with my good-hand.
"Oh thank god you're okay." Aria dove in my arms and hugged me tightly, Em hugged me straight after, "You're stupid, you know that?" Hanna shook her head at me as she brought me in for a short embrace.
"I just...wasn't thinking straight." I mumbled. Hanna kept her eyes on me for a moment and I knew that look she was giving me. A hand gently touched my shoulder and I spun round only to be met with Jason.
His eyes glanced down at my arm before moving back up and meeting mine, he opened his mouth to speak but I quickly excused myself from the girls and lightly pushed him away so we could talk.
"What the fuck happened?" He asked, bringing a hand up and lightly touching my wrist, I shied away at his sudden touch and he got the hint.
"Me and Han were just walking through the side entrance towards your backyard and Spencer's, and we saw the fire at yours...Hanna got Jenna out but I thought..." I sighed shamefully, looking down at the floor and the burnt marks over my trainers.
"-You thought I was in the house." Jason nodded slightly, I shrugged as a response. "God you could'a got yourself killed." His brows knitted tight together and his voice almost sounded as if it was laced with concern and...like he actually cared...
"It was stupid of me I know, but I'd rather have a couple burns and some shitty cough than have you wind up dead from a fire." I played with a loose thread on my bandage.
"Thank you for thinking like that, it means a lot y'know? But just don't go hurting yourself for my sake." Jason stuffed his hands in his jean-pockets and rocked back and forth on his feet slightly.
"Quinn? Oh my-" Ledgers voice called out from behind Jason, I rushed past him and wrapped my arms tight around Ledgers neck, minding my poorly hand however.
"I heard something happened, a fire? Are you okay?" Ledger rushed out, pulling back and cupping my face in his hands. "I'm okay." I nodded.
As we pulled away he kept a protective arm around my shoulders before he was called back to work, he promised he'd come and see me shortly. While I glanced back at the waiting area my eyes cast over to Jason whom never stopped staring at me, all the time even when I was with Ledger, his eyes burnt into my own.
༄
I shifted in my bed as Hanna flicked through a magazine beside me; we'd stayed over at Spencer's house last night, although I was injured I was surprised my parents let me stay out the house and didn't lock me on house arrest and stick me in a corner with pillows surrounding me.
"I still think Jenna's little speech was weird." I mumbled, Jenna had called us into her hospital room a little while after our parents had arrived there, and told us how she got to the house, why she was there, and partially thanked Hanna and I for getting her out.
"The girl is weird, there's no denying that." Hanna shrugged as she flicked the page before slamming the magazine shut and making me jump slightly.
"Okay, I'm going to ask you something and I need you to be straight with me." She sighed, placing the magazine onto the bed. I nodded, signifying her to go on.
"I saw the way you were Quinn...how you sounded..." Hanna's eyes saddened as she turned to face me, I blinked a few times, confused as to what she meant.
"Quinn...you ran into that house with no hesitation, all because you wanted to find Jason." Hanna mumbled, I glanced down at my lap, avoiding her eye contact.
"Now I understand that I got Jenna out the house with no hesitation too, even after what she did to us, but Quinn..." I looked up to meet her gaze.
"You sounded distraught, like the thought of him being in there and being hurt, killed you, I've never seen you like that before." Hanna shrugged slightly.
"I'm just a caring person, it's no big." I shook my head.
"Quinn, do you still care about him?" Han asked and I halted in my position, my head slowly turned back to face her.
"If he was in there, I didn't want his death to be on my hands because I didn't save him, okay?" I lied, well, it was kind-of a lie. Hanna raised her brows.
"It's just....complicated." I whispered, rolling over onto my side and reaching up to flick the lamp off. Filling the room with darkness and leaving Hanna's question looming in the air, unanswered...truthfully.