The days seem to blur together. The first two weeks of the semester are always like that though. Ava falls into her normal routine: work, therapy, friends - if she feels up for it, hardly any sleep at all, repeat. The only good thing is that any dreams she's been having recently have fallen back into their usual pattern of her not remembering them, which she is fine with. The less she remembers, the less she has to deal with during her weekly session.
She's staring at the clock on her desk, willing the time to go faster so she can go home. She just wants to go home and crawl into bed to watch bad TV for the entire weekend. A knock sounds on her door and she reluctantly pulls her tired eyes away from the clock to the young girl standing in her doorway. Her face is pale and by the way her eyes keep darting around like something is about to grab her, Ava can tell she is terrified. Most likely a freshman.
"Come on in," Ava calls forcing a small smile onto her face as she leans forward, her elbows resting on the cool surface of the desk. The girl slowly walks to one of the chairs in front of the desk. "What's your name and what can I help you with today?"
"My name is Daisy. I was told I needed to come in here to discuss my classes," she whispers, her voice wavering slightly as she lowers her eyes. Ava's brows pull together in worry as she watches the girl's fidgeting hands. "I... I'm uh..." she trails off as she finally lifts her eyes to Ava's.
"Sweetheart, is everything okay?" Ava asks as she leans farther against her elbows. "I've seen a lot of students come into my office that looked scared for the future, but if I can be honest, you look terrified to even be sitting here with me."
The girl's eyes drop again but not before she can see the tears welling up there. She is terrified. Ava's gut clenches slightly at the sight. She is used to handling dramatic breakdowns but those do not usually happen until the student is at least a junior or senior. To see a younger student in her office two weeks into the fall semester is both surprising and extremely worrying. Ava inhales softly as she does her best to smile at the girl so she'll relax.
"I just have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing here" the girl whispers as she quickly lifts a hand to wipe away the tear that slipped down her cheek.
"Okay," Ava says as she nods in understanding. "I can help you with that. I'm assuming you don't mean you don't know what you're supposed to be doing in this office with me, correct?" The girl nods slightly as she tries to force a smile on her lips. "Okay," Ava chuckles softly, "what is it exactly you don't know what to do?"
"I just," she sighs and shakes her head. "I was reluctant about coming to school in the first place. I excelled in high school, I graduated Valedictorian of my class actually, but while everyone was so excited to see my next move when I came to college, I wanted to take a gap year."
Okay.
That one is pretty new. Ava has heard thousands of stories but never before has she listened to a student who graduated first in their class not be excited about college. Those are usually the ones that have their entire life planned out. Ava sits back suddenly in her chair and nods her head as she pieces it together.
"Why didn't you take that gap year then?" she asks, giving the girl time to explain.
"Because everyone was just pushing and pushing for me to go. They all said these years are the best of a person's life, and that putting it off would be a mistake. So I applied and when I got in I just went with it." She throws her hands in the air as she looks around the office.
"Okay, well, I'm not technically qualified to give you much advice on things like this, but I would like to tell you that this needs to be something you want to do. I've seen many students come into my office unsure of what to do with themselves because they came to college because it was what their parents thought was the best. Those students are usually the ones that do not make it to graduation," Ava explains. That's probably the hardest part of her job. Spending hours with students just to watch them drop out. That's not what she wants for this girl. She's young and obviously bright. She can have a real future ahead of her, she just needs to figure out if this is where she wants to achieve it.
"So what are you saying? I should drop out and leave?" she asks, her eyebrows raised high in surprise.
"If that's what you want to do, then that's your decision." The girl slumps back in the chair and to Ava's surprise, defeat takes over her features. "Daisy, why did you want to take a gap year?"
"I don't know what I want to do with my life," she admits with a look of shame. "Everyone I graduated with already knew what they wanted to study when they got to college, and I was too ashamed to admit I had no clue."
And there it is.
"Okay, so answer me this," Ava says as she studies Daisy's face. "Is you wanting to take a gap year because you want a break to go live your life a little before settling down into your education or because you don't know what you want to do now that you're here?"
Daisy studies her face closely before shifting her gaze to the window behind Ava's desk. She can all but see the wheels turning in her head as she thinks about the question. Ava sits back and lets her come to her own conclusion.
"I don't know what I want to do now that I'm here," she admits after several minutes. "I can't just drop out, this is where I'm supposed to be, but I have literally no idea what I'm supposed to study now that I'm here."
Ava lets a slow smile spread across her face as she sits up and turns toward her computer.
"This is something I can help you with," I assure her. Daisy's eyes light up for the first time since she walked into the office. That look right there is why Ava got into this line of work. As stressful as it can be at times and as annoyed as she can get with her coworkers, seeing that hopeful look on a student's face when she helps them map out their future at the university is amazing.
"You can?" she asks, hope filling her voice.
"Yes, I can. We can set you up with the basic classes that you'll need for any degree you decide to go with, and maybe a few in different studies that you may be interested in. That's how you can see if something piques your interest. You may sit in a class and fall in love with the subject. And if that doesn't happen, you can move on to the next one." Daisy nods slowly as she again drops her eyes to her lap.
"Uh, I'm not really sure what direction I want to go right now, but I think getting the basic classes taken care of is a good idea." She nods again and lifts her eyes to meet mine. "I think that's what I'll do and in the meantime look through the course catalog and look up some information and go from there."
Ava nods her head in agreement before turning her attention back to her computer. She pulls up the course catalog and Daisy's information and sets about rearranging her schedule to take the classes she's going to need.
"Okay, so it looks like you are all set now. I've lifted the restriction for getting advised if you decide to change anything or want to add a class," Ava says as she looks over the screen. "Right now, you are taking twelve hours which constitutes you as a full-time student, but you can add up to nineteen hours, but any further classes will need to be paid for before you can actually start the classes."
"Okay, thank you for your help. I don't think I ever asked your name."
Ava smiles as she turns her attention back to Daisy. "I'm Ms. Barrett, and you are more than welcome. I hope things work out for you," she says as she hits the button to print out her papers. "These papers," she staples the papers and hands them over to Daisy, "are the list of the classes you will need to cover your basics and once you figure out what you'd like to major in, those classes will be added as well."
Daisy studies the list carefully before nodding her head. Her wide eyes lift to mine and I can see the relief there instead of worry. Good.
"Thank you, Ms. Barrett. Really." She gives Ava one last smile before grabbing her things and heading out of the office.
Ava leans back in her chair and puffs out a breath of air as her exhaustion comes back to the surface. If only it was always easy to hide just how exhausted she is all the time and not just when she has to. Kyler walks by her office, his head shoved in a stack of papers, but lifts his head enough to give her a smile before heading toward his office. Ava lets her eyes close for a second as she relaxes in her seat before slowly looking back over at the clock. One more hour before she can go home. Just one more hour.
***
Ava makes her way out of the building after finally clocking out.
The soft breeze hits her face as she steps out of the building and she can't help but stop for a second and close her eyes. The exhaustion from the day is not as bad as it usually is, but it's still heavy. Despite wanting to go home and crawl into bed, she can't help but take the scenic route back to her car.
The campus is gorgeous this time of year. The leaves are just starting to change, so there is a mixture of colors from green to orange and brown. Beautiful. Peaceful. There aren't many students still wandering around campus this late so Ava enjoys the quiet as she moves along the pathways. She weaves between buildings, smiling at the students who pass by her.
She turns the corner and runs into the back of someone's back. She stumbles back, eyes widening as she watches them tumble forward a few steps before turning and glaring at her. Those blue eyes that have been haunting me for the last two weeks glare up at me. Why was the stranger from outside of Dr. A's office here on campus? Surely he's not a student, right? When it dawns on her that she's just standing there staring at him, she quickly shakes her head and looks down at her feet.
"I'm so sorry," she rushes out as she takes another step back. Just the sight of him has every muscle in her body tightening again. The image of the last time he popped into her head fills her mind and has her clenching her thighs together to stop the ache. She's had to use that damn vibrator more in the last two weeks since her first encounter with this stranger than ever before. "I wasn't paying attention to where I was going," she breathes, praying he doesn't notice her clenched thighs and elevated breathing.
"Well, I guess this is your payback for a few weeks ago then?" he asks, his glare disappears as a slow smirk takes over his features. That does nothing to calm her pulsing libido at the moment. She inhales through her nose slowly as she tries her best to keep her eyes trained on his face. "I run into you and knock you to the ground and then you run into me while I'm trying to work. Seems fair."
"I wasn't trying to get payback or anything," she says, her voice much more steady than she would have thought. "I'm just getting off work and heading to my car. You should probably not stand in the middle of the sidewalk if you don't want people to walk into you."
"Sweetheart, I'm six feet five inches tall. Even if I were standing in the middle of a sidewalk most people tend to see me before running right into my back," he drawls out. She can't quite place his accent, but he's definitely from somewhere in the south of the United States. Texas maybe.
"I wasn't trying to run into you," she mumbles as she looks around. She's spent the last two weeks wondering how she would react if she were to ever see him again. She let her mind make up scenario after scenario because she didn't expect to see him again. Yet here he is standing in front of her pretty much just outside of her work.
"If you say so," he mutters as he slowly moves closer. Her eyes dart down to his feet, noting his thick black boots, before taking their time moving up the rest of him. Faded jeans that look like they've been worn a time or two. His thighs look thick, filling out the legs of his jeans nicely. His stomach is flat and covered by a plain white T-shirt that does little to hide his tattoos beneath the fabric. She can't make out what it is, but it's big and seems to cover his entire torso. Both of his arms are sleeved out, but she jerks her eyes back to his face when he clears his throat. His smirk deepens. Caught checking out the hot stranger is always a fun thing to have happen to her.
"I should probably be going," she whispers as she moves to step around him. His hand darts out, much like it did two weeks ago, successfully pulling her to a stop. She inhales sharply at the contact and the reaction her body has to being this close to him again. She looks up into his eyes. There it is. That pull between the two of them that is almost intoxicating. She can't help but step closer to him in response before the realization dawns on her.
No.
No, this can't happen no matter how much she wants it to. She doesn't have the time to even begin to think about starting something with someone right now. His thumb brushes over the skin of her inner wrist and she sends up a silent prayer to whoever is listening that he can't feel her heartbeat pounding beneath her skin.
"I never caught your name," his rough voice breaks through the fog of her mind. She pulls away suddenly and takes a step back as she continues to study those beautiful eyes. "I'm Garrett, in case you were wondering?"
"And why would you think I was wondering what your name was?" she counters as an eyebrow raises.
"Well, most women that stand there and blatantly check me out in public either already know my name or they want to know my name."
Cocky.
"You seem to have a high opinion of yourself," she replies with a shake of her head. "I could have simply been trying to commit your face to memory for the next time you get it in your system to run into me again."
No! Stop flirting with the gorgeous stranger.
"You ran into me," he points out and Ava stands there opening and closing her mouth as she tries to figure out what to say. Technically, he's right. She did run into him this time and assuming that she'll see him again to repeat this scene is pushing it a bit far. She shouldn't want to see him again. She should want to walk away and never even have his face appear in her mind again so she can get on with her life. She has too much to fix within herself to be secretly hoping to run into him again. "Please tell me your name. I've been wondering what it is since the last time I saw you," he whispers. His eyes roam over her face in question.
"Ava," she whispers before her brain can stop her.
"Beautiful," he whispers in such a way that she doesn't know if he means her name or her face. She also doesn't know which she would prefer at this point.
No, Ava. Stop.
She opens her mouth to say something else, but before she can get anything out another voice breaks into the conversation.
"Ava," Kyler calls as he comes to a stop beside her. She resists the urge to step away because he's never stopped this close to her before, but she doesn't want to embarrass him. "What are you still doing here? I thought you were off?" His eyes shift from Ava to Garrett who hasn't moved.
Ava glances over to see he's shoved his hands in the front of his jeans pockets. His eyes are on Kyler and any softness that was in them as he looked at her is gone as he stares at the other male beside her. The tension is thick and almost suffocating as the two of them look each other up and down.
"Is this guy bothering you?" Kyler asks her without averting his eyes. Her eyebrows furrow at how rude he's being right now. He's usually really sweet and kind. This side of him is not anything like what she's seen before.
"We were having a conversation, and you just assumed I was bothering her?" Garrett asks as he stands up straighter.
Ava can't help but look between the two of them and compare. Both of them are tall, Garrett only standing over Kyler by an inch or so. Kyler's skin is a lovely dark brown and Garrett's is lightly tanned. Garrett's long wavy hair is the complete opposite of Kyler's cropped black hair. The two of them standing beside each other really shows the differences between the two of them. Kyler is a very attractive guy, but his looks honestly come nowhere near the beauty of Garrett.
"Well, I know she usually goes straight home after she gets off, so seeing her stopped by some biker wannabe could very well mean you are bothering her," Kyler says as he crosses his arms over his chest. Ava's eyes widen in surprise. She hadn't noticed her friend had paid that much attention to her daily routine.
"Hard to be a wannabe biker when you actually own and drive a bike," Garrett retorts. Kyler scoffs and shakes his head. "It's not for everyone. Some guys like to live a safer life," his eyes move up and down Kyler slowly before he comes back to his head and raises an eyebrow.
Ava rolls her own eyes at this point. The testosterone in the air is almost thick enough to choke someone.
"Well, some of us respectable men need the safer option to offer people," Kyler all but spits as he takes a step closer to Garrett. Ava watches as Garrett's hands easily slide from his pockets and fist at his sides as if he's preparing for a fight.
His eyes dart to me slightly before he smirks and looks back at Kyler. "I'll give you a hint, most women don't go for the safe option. Plus there is nothing more exciting than having a woman wrapped around you as she straddles the back of your bike. Holding on to you for dear life as the power rumbles between her legs."
Ava's stomach clenches at the thought of a woman wrapped around him on his bike. She doesn't know where the jealousy is coming from since she doesn't even know this man. She has no right to be jealous of anything he does in his life. Look at him! Of course, he's had plenty of women on the back of his bike. Plenty of women in his bed. Her stomach tightens again. Kyler steps forward and before she can think Ava steps in between the two of them. Maybe she let that go on for too long.
"Okay, boys," she says as she looks between the two of them. "Why don't you both put yourselves away and zip up? I haven't seen this much testosterone in years and frankly, it's not something I care to stand here and witness now."
"Ava," both men say at the same time. She closes her eyes for a second as she feels both their eyes on them.
"I'm going to go home now," she says as she adjusts her purse on her shoulder. "Please act like adults and don't start throwing punches as I walk away."
With that, she steps around Garrett and walks by. On the pass, his arm brushes her and it takes everything in her not to stop and look back up at him again. As much as she wants to see those eyes again in person she doesn't want to risk causing any more unnecessary tension between the two men.
She appreciated Kyler being a good friend, but she can't help but wonder where the conversation with Garrett would have gone if he hadn't interrupted. When she's a good distance away, she risks glancing back to see Garrett staring after her but Kyler is gone. He lifts his hand in the air and gives her a small wave just before she turns around another corner and out of view of him.