This is all my fault'
'He's dead because of me'
'I should have said something sooner'
I knew and i let him die'
The voices echoed inside Technos head, Wilbur still hasn't moved since the paramedics pulled him off Tommy. He knew it was his fault, Techno should have told his twin at least so Tom could have gotten help before he tried to kill- kill himself.
"-ch, Tech- Techno can- can you hear me?" He looks over to Wilbur, who is looking directly at him now, his cheeks are wet with tears.
"Yeah. I can hear you." Tech whispers out after a shaky breath.
"Don't sound so sad about it." He said, trying to lighten the mood. Wilbur slowly stood up and walked over to his twin, he extended his hand to him which Techno took. Wilbur almost flinched at the sight of his baby brother's blood on his hands, but he stopped himself from reacting for Techno’s sake.
"Ok Wil. Let's get to the hospital. I think Dad said Hope hospital." Techno said standing slowly before dragging Wilbur out of Tommys room with him.
"Tech, I think you should maybe wash your hands before we leave. Please." Wilbur said to his brother as calmly as he could when they passed through the living room.
"Oh." Techno said breathlessly, looking at his hands. "Yeah you're right. Sorry Wil." He carried on and went and washed his hands in the sink. Techno splashed some water on his face to try and wash away the fog that was clouding his head. As soon as the cold water touched his face his brain became clear and he felt better about driving.
"You good over there Tech?" Wilbur said from the door, he sounded tired. Techno looked over at his twin who was leaning on the door frame for support.
"Yeah Wil, lets go ok?" Wilbur nodded and walked out to the car while Techno grabbed the keys and followed behind. The air was cold on their faces, clinging to the tears that couldn't stop running down their faces. They got into the car and started the drive to the hospital.
He sits in the waiting room waiting to hear anything about his youngest. Phil knows his other sons will be on the way here now, a bad feeling sits in his gut as he watches nurses and other hospital staff run around. He hopes Tommy is getting good treatment, because god knows he failed at being a father for this youngest.
The image of Tommy lying on the floor with blood pouring out of his heavily scarred arms will be stuck in his head forever. Will his last words to his son be telling him that he ruins everything. Why was he so stupid? Fathers are supposed to protect their children from harm, but he leads his son to hurting himself.
Phil glances over to the clock, it's been 15 minutes. The drive from his house to here is 10 minutes, the twins should be here soon. But what if they crash on the way here, what hi Phl wanting to be with his youngest means Wilbur and Techno die on the way here, he might lose his whole family.
"Hey Dad." Phil hears through the fog of his mind, he looks over to see Techno and Wilbur standing near him. Before he stands up and pulls his sons into a tight hug. Relief crashes through him, they are here and safe. And that's far more than he deserves. They all slowly separate from the hug and sit down. Techno sits next to Phil and Wilbur sat on the floor because he claims its comfier.
They sit there in silence for a while until Wilbur leans his head onto Phils leg and tries to sleep so time will pass quicker. Techno decides it's also better to sleep then listen to the voices yell at him for killing his brother. Phil also closes his eyes but not to fall asleep, but he still does.
Wilbur opens his eyes to see himself in a beautiful green meadow . He looks around until he sees Techno and his Father standing next to each other looking confused. He walks over to join them.
"Dad, Techn where are we? Is this real? '' He asks them.
"I feel pretty real Wilbur." Techno says before punching Wilbur in the stomach, who doubled over in pain and dramatics.
"Boys." Phil sighs. "Yes this does feel real. Why do I recognize this place though?" He asks letting the familiar feeling settle in but he can't figure out where it is from.
"We used to come here before mum died." A familiar voice answered from behind them. Techno spun around as fast as he could to find the source of the voice.
And there Tommy stood looking fine, his arms were clean, no scars or gashes in them, Techno could feel a wave of fresh tears start streaming down his face.
Wilbur stared at his baby brother in front of him. He looks so young, Wilbur was forcing himself to stand still instead of throwing himself at Tommy.
Phil couldn't pull his eyes off his youngest son, he looked healthy. No blood covering his body he looked like how Phil would want to remember Tommy as.
"Tommy?" Wilbur breathed out trying to keep his voice even. Tommy looked over to him.
"Hey Wil." Tommy smiled and opened his arms for a hug. Wilbur didn't wait a second before falling into his brother's arms. He didn't do anything to stop the tears from falling onto Tommys shirt. He soon felt two other bodys join the hug and press tightly against him. They all fell apart from the hug after a few minutes, and sat on the ground in the lush green grass. Phil, Wilbur and Techno all sat in front of Tommy, taking in all his features. They sat in silence for a bit, but Techno couldn't keep a thought out of his head that he hoped wasn't true.
"Tommy?" Techno says suddenly. All heads snap towards him.
"Yeah Big Dubs?" Tommy responds casually while picking the flowers off the ground to make something.
"How are you here right now?" Techno askes dreading the answer. Wilbur goes pale at the realization. Phil just sits there silently watching Tommy weave the different flowers together like how Kristen used to.
"Tech, if you're asking that, then you already know." Tommy says the smile on his face slipping for a second before returning. They could see the sadness in his eyes as he went back to the flowers. Techno could feel his breathing stop at that second, he wanted to scream and cry until his voice was gone. Wilbur reached over and grabbed Technos hand where he squeezed as hard as he could.
"I didn't want to leave you guys, just the pain that never went away." Tommy whispers to them, before sucking in a big breath and continuing louder. "School was awful, every time I was alone Jared came over and beat me up." Wilbur made a sharp in hale, Jared the guy whose girlfriend dumped him for Wilbur. "I'm really sorry. And I love you guys so much." Tommy looked at all of them and he had tears running down his face.
"We love you so much as well Tommy. You will and always have had a place in our hearts." Phil said looking at his son who he'll never be able to make it up to. A small smile crept onto Tommys face.
"I'm always going to be with you guys." Tommy says as he grabs the daisy chains and slowly places the first one on Technos head, and gives him a hug. "It's not your fault Tech, it never was." Tommy whispered into technos ear as he straightened the crown.
Tommy then moved over to Wilbur and placed the next crown on his head. "I forgive you Wilbur, I can only hope you can forgive me too." He whispers to Wilbur.
He then moves over to Phil and gently places the last crown on to Phil’s head. "You will feel happy again Dad, the pain will subside and Tech and Wil will help you." Tommy says to his father. He sits back down across from them. Tommy reaches forward and grabs Phils hand Technos, Phil also grabs Wilburs hand and so does Techno.
"Tech the flowers on your crown are called Yarrows, they symbolize bravery, courageousness and saying i love you in spite of everything." Tommy says looking at Tech. Techno is visibly shaking now trying to hold in the sobs wanting to rack his body. So he nods to show he understands.
"Wilbur- Wilby the flowers on your crown are Tulips, mostly white ones as they symbolize forgiveness." Tommy explains, Wilbur can feel his whole chest tighten at the nickname, the tears are now falling faster and his breath is hitching.
"Thanks Toms." Wilbur says, voice cracking. Tommy nods in acknowledgment.
"Dad, the flowers on your crown are Forget-me-nots, they symbolize true love, respect, and we'll always remember someone." Tommy finishes with a small smile. Phil feels like he is going to throw up.
"Thank you Tommy '' Phil whispers back.
"On all of the crowns though there is Honeysuckle which means pure happiness, there's red Chrysanthemums they mean love, and there's Sweet peas they mean goodbye." Tommy says tears streaming down his face.
"-Watson? Mr Watson?" Phil quickly wakes up seeing a doctor standing in front of him looking a mixture of upset and frustrated. He looks over to Techno and Wil who look like they have just woken up as well. Phil can feel the phantom weight in this hand where Tommy had just been holding it. 'Oh' he thinks.
"Sorry doctor." Phil says, trying to get his bearings. Wilbur looks over to Techno. There are more tears going down his face now.
"It's fine Mr Watson, could you and your sons please follow me." She says and turns and starts walking to an unused hospital room. Techno looks around the waiting room as he and his family follow the doctor. There are at least 7 other families, they're all staring at them, they look sympathetic as if they know Techno is going to hear the worst words of his life.
The room is clean and smells like it too, Wilbur hates hospitals ever since their mum spent so much time here and then dies here as well.
"Mr Watsons, I'm really sorry to tell you this but Thomas didn't make it. We tried our best to bring him back but he had ultimately lost too much blood."The doctor says voice only wavering a bit through the middle.
Phil just nods if he opens his mouth he would scream at the doctor for not trying hard enough, and letting his son die. But it wasn't really her fault, they cant save everyone
The drive home was a blur. Phil found himself sitting on the couch with a blanket wrapped around him, soon after Wilbur came back and sat down with him.
The house was silent. Wilbur felt sick again.
"Ok Wil, Dad what were the names of the flowers Tommy gave you?" Techno asked as he burst down the stairs with a notepad and pen. "I already have Yarrow, Honeysuckle, and Sweet pea." Wilbur just stares at him for a few seconds while his brain catches up.
"Um, Tulips, specifically white, Red Chrysanthemum, that's all I remember." Wilbur says slowly watching Techno write them down quickly.
"Forget-me-nots, is that last one." Phil says looking at Techno, trying his best to pull a smile on his face.
*ping* *ping* *ping* *ping*
Wilbur could hear a pinging coming from upstairs, 'it's probably Tommys phone' he thought. He slowly stood up ignoring the worried glances from his twin and father. Wilbur finally made it up to Tommy's room, he ignored the dark blood on the floor and walked over to the night stand and grabbed his baby brother's phone off it. He noticed a book on flower meanings on the bedside table as well, ‘That must be how he knew’. He quickly left the room, feeling able to breathe once he was out.
Wilbur came back down stairs and sat back on the couch.
"His phone was getting notifications and i figured his friends would want to know, right." Wilbur says, Techno nods and sits next to him and grabs the phone. There are messages from someone called Beeboi and someone called Ranboob.
"Beeboi and Ranboob?" Techno askes.
"Um yeah i met them once Tubbo and Ranboo i think." Wilbur says grabbing his phone and looking through his contacts. "I'm going to ring Ranboo first." Wilbur says before hitting the dial and putting it on speaker.
"Hello?" Ranboo answered.
"Oh hello this is Wilbur and Techno. Tommy's- Tommy's older brothers." Wilbur explained, trying to ignore the lump in this throat
"Ok, Um this is Ranboo and Tubbo. Tubbo and I haven't been able to reach Tommy. Do you know where he is?" They ask, sounding worried, Techno can here some shuffling in the background.
"..." Wilbur can't speak, it feels like his whole throat has closed up.
"Hello? Wilbur are you there? " Another voice asks, 'must be Tubbo' he thinks.
"Um, I'm really sorry to- to tell you this." Techno takes a breath, he can hear a shaky breath from the other end of the line. "Tommy died an hour ago." Techno says swallowing down the lum in his throat.
"no." A small voice says. "He's not really gone. Please tell me this is some sick joke." Ranboo says, Wilbur can hear Tubbo sobbing in the background.
"Im so sorry." Techno says eyes filling with tears again. He looks over to his notepad, he wanted to write the flowers down for Tommy's funeral. Techno wraps his arms around himself and pushes his face into Wilburs back. Their family is going to be broken forever.
"How?" Tubbo asks when no one responds he asks again. "How did he... die."
"He killed himself. Well it might have not meant to have killed him but it did." Wilbur says numbly.
"Ok. We're going to go now, ok?" Ranboo says quietly.
"Ok stay safe Ranboo and Tubbo." Wilbur says and hangs up.
It's one week after Tommy’s death and it's the funeral. Techno had been incharge of the flowers, and they looked beautiful. Wilbur, Techno and Phil sat in the front row at the church. They were to all read a eulogy for Tommy. Tommy’s best friends, Tubbo and Ranboo were sitting behind them.
First was Phil.
He could feel the sweat on his hands as he stood at the podium in front of family members and Tommy's friends. Tears were already in his eyes as he realized this is the closest he will be to his son again.
"Thomas, Tommy, was my youngest son. As a toddler his smile could light up the whole room and his laugh was contagious. He was the light that was always there and i didnt realize it until it went out." Phil took a big breath and held the stand so he wouldn't fall over. "After the death of my wife, and my son's mother, I became less of a father then I should have been to Tommy. Tommy had Kristens laugh, smile, and sense of humor. And that hurt, if i could go back and yell at myself for not being with my son when his mother died, i would every time. My sons and I like to think it wasn't some weird coincidence dream or something, but the night that my youngest son died, he came to us in a dream. He gave us flower crowns and each flower on them had a different meaning, the one he gave me" He gestures over towards a wreath." was filled with Forget-me-nots, he said they symbolize true love and respect and of course to always remember them, there was also Honeysuckle they symbolize pure happiness, i like to think that to me and my sons Tommy was our happiness, our pure joy. I will never forget you Toms. I am so sorry for not being the father you deserved because you, my dearest son, deserved the world." Phil finished wiping the tears from his face and sitting back down next to Techno.
Next was Wilbur
Wilbur walked up to the podium with a white Tulip in his hands, he held it as if it would break at the slightest movement. He placed it gently onto the stand.
"Tommy had this aura when he walked into a room, any tension that had been there vanished, he was one of a kind, and I miss him so much. It has been a total of one week without him in the house, and every time I sit down it is so quiet. Normally Tommy would be doing something just in the house, and that was good because in the back of my mind I knew that he was carrying on or coming into the same room as me. But now when it's quiet I know that Tommy isn't going to walk down the stairs to ask who knocked all the toilet paper into the toilet. It was Tecno by the way." The room laughed lightly and fell back into silence. "It hurts because I took that just knowing he was there was enough comfort. Tommy never had a good oldest brother and i hate myself for what i did. As my Dad said about the dream Tommy gave as flower crowns, he and my mother learned to make them before she passed. Mine" he gestures to the second wreath." was filled with Tulips, mostly white ones, he said they symbolized forgiveness, on mine there were also red Chrysanthemums they symbolize love, just love and that is what Tommy was to me. Tommy was the best person i know he said he forgave me for everything and that i could forgive him eventually if ever, and i do Toms. Im so sorry sunshine." He then picked up the whole Tulip and placed it carefully on top of the casket. Then went and sat back down.
Last was Techno.
Techno took a deep breath before starting, he could see Wilbur bouncing his leg and his father trying to wipe the tears from his eyes.
"Tommy was my little brother, and i should have protected him. He died before his life really started, Tommy was still in school were he was bullied. What kind of older brother am I if I couldn't protect him, he was the sun and we were pulled towards him and now he's gone so we were thrown off the axis. I like to think that Tommy saved me and my family, even if that meant the destruction of himself. 'Name one hero who was happy' a quote by Madelibe Miller, The Song of Achilles, This was Tommy he was a hero yet heroes don't get happy endings." He took a breath and looked over to Wilbur and his father who were crying, they didn't know what each other's speeches were so they could let everything out at the funeral. "My flower crown that Tommy made me, "He gestured over to the last wreath on the stand." Was made mostly of Yarrows, they symbolize bravery and courageousness, and say I love you in spite of everything. The final flower on the crowns were Sweet peas and they mean goodbye. I never thought I would have to say goodbye to my little brother, I am going to try to live for him and honor his memory in everything that I do. Toms if i had another hundred lives i would choose to be your older brother every single time, having you was my brother was enough Tommy." He went and slowly sat back down and grabbed Wilburs hand for support.
He stood there watching as his family gave their eulogies for him. Tommy never realized he meant this much to them.
"Dad it's going to be ok, you deserve as much of the world as I did. I hope you will smile when you hear my name instead of crying. Honestly king not the best look."
"Wilby, even though you yelled and said horrible things, you will always be my brother and blood is thicker than water in this case. Thank you for forgiving me Wil."
Tech, if i was the hero then my sacrifice was to ensure your safety and happiness, you will get your happy ending and we will meet again but once you have lived."
"Come on Toms lets go rest, alright" He looks over to his mother standing at the doorway smiling happily, Tommy looks back to his brothers and father, he can see Tubbo and Ranboo sobbing while in a hug, they will all be ok.
"We'll meet again." He says quietly and takes his mothers hand. He let the feeling of peace overcome him.
"Techno?" Who said that, he thinks looking over to his childhood house. Wilbur.
"Wilbur!" Techno shouts as he runs over to meet his twin on the path, they collide into a hug. "You bitch you died before me.''He says looking at his twin, who is apparently 20 again.
"Tech." He hears his Dads familiar voice call out before another body joins the hug. They pull apart from the hug smiles plastered all over their faces.
"Technoblade '' He hears, and spins around to see his little brother standing there looking the same as he last saw him, their mother standing behind Tommy smiling at the reunion.
"Tommy." He breathed out, Techno opened his arms and soon felt his little brother's body wrap around his own. Hot tears were running down his face. "I missed you Theseus." He whispered into Tommy's hair that it smelt of strawberries just as it always had.
"I missed you to Tech." Tommy says looking up at him a huge smile across his face.
"Hello Techno, It's been a long time." He looks over to his mother, she looks just like how he remembers just shorter but that is because he is taller. Tommy let go of him and went to hang off Wilbur.
"It has, but i would love to get to know you again." Techno says before wrapping his arms around his mother.
"We have all the time in the world my love." She says carefully as they all go back inside the house.