It all happened in a blur. You always believed that in a time of danger, you would be skilled and strong enough to protect your clan. But as you watched the sky demons, disguised as Na'vi, pointing their weapons at your people and burning your homes, you felt like a useless coward. If it wasn't for your sister's, Tsahik's, quick thinking of causing a distraction and pushing you into the water, you would have been dead by now. She sacrificed herself for you to live.
You can't make out how much time has passed since you finally made it to the unfamiliar reefs, as you collapsed on the sand, breathless and disoriented. You could only hope that you reached the correct destination: the Awa'atlu village. The distant sounds of horns announced your arrival, and strangers started to surround you in a circle. When the Olo'eyktan approached you, you managed to summon the rest of your strength to stand up and greet him.
You're weak, and judging by his face, you're sure that the explanation you give him is too vague. You hope that despite your mumbling, he understands that you were asking for refuge to escape from the sky demons. As the villagers around you start whispering, the only thing that comes to your mind clearly is "Jake Sully." They killed your people, set your village on fire, shot your ilus... All because of Jake Sully.
"Jake Sully," you repeat in a low whisper, your eyelids suddenly feeling heavy.
"Where is your ilu, child? Did you swim here by yourself?" Olo'eyktan asks, examining you with a hint of worry.
You wince at the mention of your ilu, the painful memory of its death still too fresh. It seemed unfair that you weren't fast enough to save both of you. You had underestimated the demons, thinking you were too far away when a bullet suddenly pierced through your companion, acute pain reaching you simultaneously through the bond. You ilu did its best to swim through, bringing you to safety before you felt its body sink underneath you with a final shriek. Yet you couldn't even mourn.
You were still in the open water, alone, unsure of where to head. You screamed as you pulled yourself together and started to swim, pushing through exhaustion and soreness in your muscles. You couldn't afford to stop until you reached the unfamiliar land. You owed your sister to survive this.
"They killed my ilu," a sob escapes your throat, your knees suddenly going weak.
"Easy there," you hear a low voice beside you, as a pair of warm hands snake around your waist, supporting you to stand on your feet. You glance down at the hands, and realize that they are different. Blue-skinned.
"She needs to rest. She must have been swimming for hours," Tsahik steps out, "What clan do you belong to, child?"
"Ta'unui."
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵
Your first night in Awa'atlu, you're too weak to get out of bed. The Tsahik had placed you in a small empty marui, close to hers, so she could easily check on you. In moments of consciousness, you catch glimpses of people and snippets of conversations. When they ask you questions about your arrival, you can only answer by nodding and shaking your head.
Ronal, Tsahik of the Metkayina clan, says that you could have died out in the open water. She thinks it's a miracle, and whispers prayers to Eywa while massaging your muscles with various balms. You can't protest really, even when the balms start stinging and making your muscles clench and burn.
Tsireya, the daughter of the Tsahik, always remains by her mother's side, carefully observing her actions, and joining her in prayer. You guess that she is the tsakarem. Watching Tsireya reminds you of the time when your sister was a tsakarem, following your grandmother around to learn from her.
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵
On the second day, you feel better. You gradually regain consciousness and start to move your limbs. Despite the pain and the slowness of your movements, you feel the life return back to your body. Tsireya stays with you even after her mother leaves.
"Are you feeling better, Y/N?" Tsireya perks up at your movement.
"Yes," you're surprised by the hoarseness in your voice.
"Don't worry, your voice will be back to normal soon," Tsireya finds your expression reaction amusing.
You're not a big talker but Tsireya is a pleasant company. You don't feel pressured to react or reply, as she talks to you about her village and her clan. You can see how hard she tries to keep you distracted from the pain.
"You'll be just fine here. There is even a family of forest Na'vi who joined our clan a while ago," she says, "You can imagine how difficult it was for them to learn everything from scratch! Oh, but they were so determined!"
Your ears involuntarily perk up, as you listen to Tsireya's story. It's really the first thing she tells you that intrigues you. Encouraged by your interest, Tsireya continues.
"You will recognize them right away. They are blue," she giggles, covering her mouth, "But they have been accepted and are a part of the Metkayina now. I am very happy they're here."
A faint memory of blue-skinned hands supporting you reappears.
"When I arrived... Was it a forester who caught me?" you ask.
"That's right! Neteyam," Tsireya nods, "He is the oldest son. You might have hurt yourself if he didn't catch you in time."
"Neteyam" you repeat to yourself.
Tsireya tells you just a little more about the foresters, until her brother Ao'nung fetches her back home.
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵
On your third morning of isolation, Tsireya visits you with a girl, who seems to be around her age. It's not hard to guess that she is a forest Na'vi, her blue skin and yellow eyes giving it away immediately. But there's something else you notice about her: she has an extra finger on each of her hands. You think back on the demons that had five fingers, and feel a shiver run down your spine. When she notices you staring at her, she hides her hands behind her back.
"This is Kiri, Kiri this is Y/N," Tsireya introduces you with a smile, "Kiri is from the forest. Remember I told you about the family?"
Kiri doesn't seem to be as talkative as Tsireya, perhaps even a bit shy. You greet each other but she keeps her distance, clearly still uncomfortable around you. Despite her similarity with the sky demons, you feel like you can trust her. Kiri is strangely beautiful, not like your sister or Tsireya, but there's something about her that fascinates you. You've never really seen a forester up close before, so...
"Is your voice back?" Tsireya grabs your attention, kneeling next to you.
"I think so," you breathe out, "It's getting there."
"Oh, it has gotten much better! I can't wait to hear it, once you're fully well. I bet you have a great singing voice," she beams, and Kiri lets out a chuckle. You can't help but smile at that.
It takes some time for Kiri to warm up to you. With the Tsahik's approval, Tsireya took over today's checkup on you. She knows the order of the balms by heart and works in confidence, while Kiri watches. From time to time, Kiri gives her a recommendation, and Tsireya gladly engages.
"Were you a tsakarem as well?" you ask Kiri.
"I used to be. My grandmother is the Tsahik of Omatikaya," Kiri sighs with slight disappointment.
"And since you moved here, you can't do that anymore?" you continue logically. She nods.
"My grandmother had to find somebody else to replace me, right before we left."
You notice how Tsireya throws a sad look at her but Kiri only reacts with a forced smile. She doesn't like to be pitied.
"Actually, Kiri's doing better than all of us," Tsireya suddenly adds with a proud smile, "Kiri has a special connection with the Great Mother."
"It's not a big deal, really," Kiri protests but Tsireya shakes her head, disagreeing.
"When we were out swimming the other day, we suddenly lost Kiri. We were looking for her for hours and found her asleep at the very bottom. Even the most skilled Metkayina swimmers can't stay in the water with no air for so long!" Tsireya articulates with her hands to convince you, "And she was completely fine. Oh! And Kiri can also make fish follow her, it's so funny!"
Tsireya giggles recalling the memory, and for the first time, Kiri joins her.
"You have to show me, I've never seen anything like that," you smile.
"We'll go together this evening. I know you'll be fully recovered by then," Tsireya excitedly claps her hands. Kiri only nods.
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵
Tsireya was right. By the evening, you have confirmation from Ronal, and you're free to explore the village with her daughter as your guide. You find that while Awa'atlu is not similar to your village, it's also not too different. But the water around the island seems calmer than what you are used to. It makes you slightly anxious.
Tsireya tries very hard to make you feel at home. She introduces you to everyone on your way, including her brother's friends. Among them, you notice another forester who doesn't stare at you like the locals do. Even when you catch his gaze, he doesn't seem overly curious. Just like Kiri, keeping his distance.
That's Lo'ak, Tsireya reminds you, the third forest-child. It takes a fool not to catch on the chemistry between her and Lo'ak. The way she talks to him almost makes your teeth hurt, while he gets shy every time he is caught staring at her. But they seem to pretend to be just friends in a social setting.
Now joined by Ao'nung, his friends and Kiri, you all go swimming together. Tsireya and Kiri walk protectively next to you, with the boys ahead.
"Let's see if you can swim faster than Lo'ak," Ao'nung teases you, his friends laughing. Lo'ak playfully hits him in the arm.
"She's from a water clan, you skxawng," Kiri comes to your defense, and you have to suppress a smile.
"I didn't mean to anger you, oh daughter of Eywa," Ao'nung continues to tease, pretending to kneel in front of Kiri, "Please have mercy on me!"
Kiri rolls her eyes, and shoves him, as she walks ahead. You catch Ao'nung watching after her, and exchange a knowing smile with Tsireya.
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵
Swimming helps you regain strength in your body and in your mind. Just the way you noticed, the water here was calmer than back home, relaxing the soreness out of your muscles. This was going to be your new home. Maybe it wouldn't be as bad.
Surprisingly, the boys' teasing doesn't bother you. While Kiri jumps to your defense ever so often, you think it was more of a distraction than anything else to you. As the sun starts setting, you float on your back, watching the sky, the painful memories slipping away. Your moment of peace is interrupted by shouting coming from the shore. Your ears perk up at the sound of your name, and with a hope that it might be someone from your village, coming back for you, you quickly turn to look. But it's not. Instead, you see a tall blue-skinned Na'vi, waving you over.
"Y/N! Tonowari wants to see you!" he shouts again.
"It's Neteyam, come on," Tsireya passes by you, swimming to the shoreline. You follow her.
Once closer, you can see Neteyam more clearly. He greets both of you with a warm smile, his intricately braided hair swaying around, as he moves.
"Father wants to see Y/N?" Tsireya asks, as she gathers her long hair to squeeze out the water.
"I saw him on my way over here," he says, his soft gaze lingering on you, "He wanted me to get the 'new girl' to talk to him."
Unlike his brother, Neteyam seems to be more intrigued by your presence, his gaze sweeping over your features, one by one, as if trying to memorize them. While it's not as intrusive as others' staring, you find his attention to be way too forward. You protectively cross your arms on your chest.
"I'm Neteyam, by the way," he offers you a formal greeting, that you're forced to reciprocate.
"Y/N."
"I guessed so," he chuckles, like it's the most obvious thing you could have said, "Everyone knows about you."
Tsireya interrupts your exchange by gently pulling you by your wrist.
"Come, Y/N, I'll walk you to our home," she smiles, then throws a look over her shoulder, "By the way, Lo'ak is currently getting talked to into sneaking out at night to swim with Payakan."
You see Neteyam's face change, as his warm smile gives way to anger, and he turns on his heel, heading towards the water.
"Lo'ak!" you hear him shout before diving in. Tsireya giggles beside you.
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵
When you first sit down in front of Tonowari, you can't help but feel dwarfed by his intimidating presence. So you're grateful when Tsireya asks if she can stay in the room with you. Tonowari's gaze softens, unable to deny his daughter, and Tsireya gives you a reassuring smile before blending into the shadows.
She gives you an encouraging nudge before disappearing into the corner of the room, and while you can't see her, you feel her gaze on you. It makes you a bit more comfortable to be in the presence of Olo'eyktan.
You're not surprised that he wanted to talk to you. Sure, he was aware of what had happened from your first interaction, and from Ronal, who gathered more information while you were under her care, but he wanted to clarify every detail. You take a deep breath and begin to recount everything.
Tonowari rarely interrupts you to ask questions but for the most part he simply listens with unwavering attention. You see his expression change from understanding to concerned, the more he hears.
"Was there any warning to their attack?" he frowns.
"Nothing," you shake your head, trying to get rid of the painful memories, "My theory is... whoever they were looking for, our village was the first one to suffer. We heard nothing from the neighboring clans, so I'm guessing it's only because we are on the very eastern coast."
"You think they're moving from east to west?" he asks. You nod.
"It's why I came here, really. I think your village is quite far from ours."
Tonowari hums, deep in thought. You sit in silence for a while, another reason nagging at you. You're not sure if you need to tell him this but you do.
"And because I used to hear about your village. My sister and I lost my mother when we were kids but we knew that she wasn't a local back home," you hesitate before continuing, "My sister thinks she would have relatives from here."
"It's not impossible," Tonowari nods his head, "We heard many stories of Na'vi from different clans mating and moving across the islands. We might even find someone from your mother's family."
You hear Tsireya's soft gasp, clearly the thought of it appearing more intriguing to her than to you. You nod to express gratitude but you're not really sure you want to meet anyone. It's always been just you and your sister, no one can replace her.
"And you said they were looking for him, huh?"
"Jake Sully? Yes, he's the reason they attacked us," you answer, feeling your face flush with anger, "They had weapons, and were shooting anyone who resisted or tried to run. Then they started to burn our homes, repeating his name over and over again. There was also a human kid with them who translated."
Tonowari's face falls so suddenly, you would have thought that he has been hiding Jake Sully himself this whole time. You hope that wherever that man is, the sky demons find him before they can reach you. Tears begin to well up in your eyes. Tonowari notices and leans in.
"Don't worry, child. We do not want war, but if they come here, we will be protecting our land and our Na'vi. Including you," he hesitates before patting your head, "You're one of us now."
You lean into his touch, allowing him to slightly mess up your hair.
"For now, let's keep this to ourselves, so that there is no panic. I have to think."
You take that as a signal to stand up, and quickly wipe your eyes before Tsireya can see.
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵
That night you can't seem to fall asleep. It feels lonely in your marui, and you start considering asking to be moved to a more crowded location. You turn on your mat a few times before catching a movement of two shadows on the other side of the wall. You sit up alerted, looking out. Eventually voices catch your ear.
"Lo'ak, if you don't come back right now, I will wake up dad," somebody whispers.
"He doesn't care anyway, he'll only get mad at his favorite," you hear Lo'ak, and see one of the two shadows disappear.
The other shadow stands still, still in front of your wall. You don't have to guess that it's probably his brother Neteyam, whom you met earlier.
"Psst," you hear his voice, his shadow moving.
And again. He moves closer to the entrance of your marui, as you stare in silence. What does he want?
"Y/N? Are you asleep?" you hear his very apparent accent.
"What?"
Your glance falls to his figure now leaning against the entrance to your room. He gives you a sheepish smile.
"What do you want?" you squint to make out his features. His eyes and freckles glow in the dark and you notice his ears perk up, as if he's excited.
"It's Neteyam," he gestures to himself.
"I know," you're annoyed. You know who he is, does he think you can't see him?
"Oh, right. I just didn't want to scare you, so I..."
"Starting with 'psst" certainly didn't help," you bite, "Shouldn't you be checking on your brother anyway?"
"Technically, I can't do anything except wait. Then, if it gets suspiciously long, I follow him," he grins like it's the funniest thing.
You stare at him quietly, wondering what he's doing in your room, in the middle of the night. Neteyam shifts uncomfortably under your gaze.
"Uh, right. Sorry if we woke you up," he scratches his head, "I was going to check on you anyway, just didn't mean to at this hour."
"Why would you check on me?" you frown.
"I thought you might like someone to talk to you, about moving and stuff."
"I can talk about it to Tsireya, I'm fine."
"I know, she's nice," Neteyam crouches down, to bring himself on your eye level. He looks embarrassed, "But she thought it would be a good idea for me to talk to you."
"Why?"
"Because we're both new here. You see, my family and I moved here a few months ago -"
"I know," you interrupt him.
"And I get what you're going through."
This frustrates you. According to Tsireya, Neteyam is the son of the sixth Toruk Makto. She didn't tell you much but they left their clan on their own, they wanted a fresh start. As far as you can tell, you and him had nothing in common. You were forced out of your home and had to give up on your life without a choice. How can he get what you're going through? He has a family. You have no one.
"Just because we're both outlanders doesn't mean that you have to pretend to relate to me, Neteyam. We're not the same," it comes out more aggressive than you intended. You notice his ears lower, along with his gaze, "I don't need a forest boy teaching me the way of water. You're not my savior."
Neteyam's face falls, like you hit a cord with your words. But he didn't mean to offend you, he only meant good. From the moment he saw you, he thought he recognized something familiar in your expression: longing for home. So when Tsireya suggested one of the foresters befriending you, he thought that you would easily get along. Right now, though, this seemed like a horrible idea.
"Not trying to be a savior, just a friend," he mumbles, standing up, "Maybe I'll see you tomorrow."
You scoff, as Neteyam walks out without a glance back.
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵
The morning is disturbed by the loud sounds of horns, announcing something important. You quickly walk out of your marui to find groups of Na'vi heading towards the center of the village. Tsireya told you that it's where her father calls for meetings. When you spot Kiri, moving along, you join her. She's holding hands with a kid.
"Hey, Y/N, this is Tuktirey," Kiri gestures.
"Tuk," the kid corrects with a smile and greets you.
"Nice to meet you,Tuk," you smile back. Judging by her skin, you guess that Tuk belongs to the family of foresters.
"So, should I be worried?" you ask Kiri, motioning to the Na'vi in front of you. It's really a little crowded for your liking.
"Not sure," she admits, "These announcements confuse me, I can't tell when it's good or bad thing. Often it's nothing bad though, don't worry."
Despite Kiri's reassurance, you approach the center with a feeling of worry. The feeling in your gut is confirmed as soon as you catch a glimpse of Tsireya with a troubled look on her face. You notice her holding someone's hand. Blue, five fingers. You can't see him but you're sure it's Lo'ak. When she meets your eye, you mouth to her.
"Is it bad?"
She shakes her head in disappointment. It's very bad, you think.
When Tonowari clears his throat and steps into the center, everyone falls silent. He keeps it brief, retelling about the attack of the demons on your village. Tonowari suspects that it's only a matter of time before the sky demons attack again, so everyone must be prepared. It is now prohibited to be alone in unsafe areas, going out in the open water, or too deep into the trees.
You feel knots forming in your stomach, when panicked questions pour on him.
"The Metkayina needs to be prepared for any outcome, even war," Tonowari raises his voice again, "Start proofing armors, repair your weapons. Always be on the lookout."
"This is crazy," Kiri whispers to you, "I can't believe that we escaped here to live in fear again."
It confuses you. You knew that her family moved to live with Metkayina but Tsireya didn't tell you why. It is bizarre now that you remember that Kiri's father is Toruk Makto. Why would he leave his home? You make a mental note to question her about it once you're alone.
"Kiri, are we going to leave again?" Tuk tugs at her sister with a sniff.
"Mawey, Tuk," a gentle voice replies instead, as a hand slips around Tuk, caressing her cheeks, "Tuk, Tuk, Tuk."
Your eyes follow. It's a tall beautiful woman with bright yellow eyes. You can't shake off the feeling of how familiar she looks.
"My mom," Kiri says to you, "Neytiri."
Right. She looks very similar to Neteyam. Neytiri's eyes flicker to you, and she graces you with a smile. You bow to greet her.
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵
Once dismissed, you and Kiri fall into the same pace. You don't talk but you instinctively follow her to the beach, where a group was seated, working on their weapons. Tsireya, Lo'ak, Neteyam, Ao'nung, and Ao'nung's friend Roxto. You and Kiri sit with them, closing the circle. Sensing that the silence is caused by the same reason you're feeling anxious, you follow their example and take out your knife. You didn't have a polishing rock like the others, so instead you focus on reattaching the loosened up string to the handle. You feel Neteyam's watching you but once you catch him, he looks away.
Kiri meddles with her belt, deep in her thoughts, and you can tell she's just as anxious as you are.
"Okay, I'm going to say what I think," Kiri breaks the silence, grabbing everyone's attention, "This is not good, right? There's something else they're not telling us."
Tsireya's eyes snap to you but both of you remain quiet.
"No shit, Kiri," Lo'ak mocks her.
"Shut up, skxawng," she reaches forward to slap him.
"Hey, you two," Neteyam gently pushes Kiri away from his brother.
You notice how the younger siblings shoot him an annoyed look but calm down anyway. Last night, Neteyam didn't seem to hold much power over Lo'ak but right now it appeared that he had some sort of authority. It's like the possibility of danger made the dynamic between them shift.
"Nothing's going to happen, they're probably lying so that the youngsters stop sneaking out to the forest at night," Roxto breaks the silence with a snort, then looks at you for support, "Come on, if it was that serious we would be probably doing much more right now."
There's some truth to his words, you think. Tonowari did not even come close to explaining how dangerous it could get. Taking measurements, like staying within the perimeters of the islans, is hardly something that would keep you safe. Deep in your thought, you continue tightening the string. Neteyam shoots you another glance, and when you look back up, he pushes his polishing stone towards you. You nod at him in appreciation, as you take the tool.
"It's because of your conversation yesterday with my father, right?" Ao'nung suddenly asks, turning to you. Tsireya tsks at her brother but you sense it is too late.
"Y/N? What do you know?" Kiri adds, concerned.
You sigh, feeling their eyes on you, examining your every small movement you make. You can almost hear Tsireya's quiet gasp, as you open your mouth to answer.
"Look, I'm not supposed to tell you this, so keep it to yourself... It's bad. The demons had many powerful weapons, it took them minutes to burn down my whole village. I don't know how strong the defense can even be to keep them away. It's going to be an unfair fight."
"What do they want? The islands?" Ao'nung pushes for more information.
"They're looking for a man, who they think is hiding in a water clan," you answer, noticing how everyone's ears perk up.
"Do you know who he is?" Lo'ak asks.
"Lo'ak, don't -" Tsireya tries to interrupt him.
"His name is Jake Sully," your voice turns with anger, "I'm not sure what he did to them but they were set on killing him. And killing anyone who's protecting him."
Dead silence hangs over you, and you suspect that there's something they're not telling you. The forest-siblings hang their heads, and you notice Tsireya squeezing Lo'ak's hand.
"Wait, so they're looking for your dad," Roxto turns to Kiri, "They're looking for you."
"Your dad?" you turn to Kiri, "Is Jake Sully your dad?"
Kiri nods, almost ashamed. You feel your throat hurt, as realization washes over you. You escaped exactly where Jake Sully was. It was his kids now sitting in front of you, in their new home, enjoying their care-free life, while your village was burned down to the ground.
"It's your dad!" you feel anger escalating. You stand up, "I've lost everything because of him! The demons thought we were hiding him but he was here all this time!"
"Y/N, it's the demons' fault," Tsireya stands up too, trying to calm you down, "He only wanted to keep his family safe, he doesn't want war."
"We didn't want war either, but here we are," you throw your hands in the air, feeling your body shake out of resentment.
"My father has done nothing wrong," Neteyam stands up as well, his voice low.
"Your father is wrong for hiding here, while the other clans are at risk of being wiped out!" you're so frustrated, you wish this was a joke they were playing on you.
But why isn't anyone agreeing with you? You look at their faces for support but no one dares to speak. Lo'ak keeps his head hanging, and Kiri storms off without a word. A chuckle of disbelief escapes from your lips.
"I guess the great Toruk Makto isn't that great after all," you throw bitterly. Neteyam clenches his jaw.
"Y/N, don't say that. He just wants peace," Tsireya starts again.
"We all want peace!" you protest.
"You think it's so easy, huh? You think he's hiding?" Neteyam raises his voice at you, "He's not to blame for their vengeance!"
You hiss at him, more angered. How dare he protect the man who caused all of the chaos? How can they ignore the fact that soon enough they will be losing their homes just like you did?
"It is easy!" you hiss again, "Let him go out there and face them alone, before they burn down this village too!"
"That's unfair, I'm not losing my dad," he growls.
"I lost my home!"
You're not sure how things escalate this quickly but one second you're at a distance growling at each other, and in another instance you lunge at him, catching him off guard. Neteyam falls on his back, as you hold him down with your legs but he's quick enough to catch your arms before you can even touch him. You hear concerned voices in the background but your only focus is punching him.
The two of you snarl, and as you struggle to free your arms from his grip, he flips you over. Your back hits the ground with a sharp pain but it gives you just enough room to kick him in the gut. Neteyam winces in pain, yet quickly regains his composure by pinning you down, this time paying special attention to having your knees locked together.
"Skxawng," you let out, frustrated.
He doesn't hit you back but he does just enough to stop you from moving, his skin feeling hot against yours.
"Dude, dude," Lo'ak runs up to him, putting his arms over his shoulders, "Get off her."
"Not unless she calms down," Neteyam hisses, completely unaware of the group of adults headed towards the two of you. You try to move but he pins you down again.
You catch a glimpse of Roxto and Ao'nung chuckling at the fight, while Tsireya covers her mouth in concern. Then, you spot Neytiri.
"Neteyam!" she shouts. Neteyam pauses at the sound of her voice, ears perking up.
"Shit," Lo'ak whispers, backing away, "Neteyam, get off."
"That's right, get off me, you skxawng," you say, humiliated by the position he put you in.
Defeated and angry, Neteyam shoots you a quick look, before finally releasing you from his grip. You huff out of frustration, as you sit up, trying to recover your breath. By the time Neytiri approaches the scene, Neteyam's already standing with his head hanging low. Lo'ak stands a little behind, as if to avoid the confusion of who's at fault.
Neytiri's eyes run you up and down, then examine her sons, as if trying to piece together what happened. She remains quiet, before kneeling down in front of you, and taking your hand in hers. You're all surprised by her gentle demeanor.
"Are you hurt?" she asks you, lifting your arm to examine it. Then moves to get a look at your back.
"I'm good," you shake your head, freeing yourself from her grasp.
"Neteyam," Neytiri stands up, now turning to her son, anger evident in her voice, "Apologize. Now."
"Mom, they were just joking," Lo'ak tries to tone down the situation but she shuts him up by raising her hand.
Without a second of hesitation, Neteyam nods and meets your eyes, before saying loudly for everyone to hear.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you."
"You didn't hurt me," you hiss, annoyed.
"Mother, can we go now?" Lo'ak asks.
Neytiri nods, and three of them walk away. Soon enough, you can hear her scolding her oldest son. Tsireya runs up to you, helping you up to your feet.
"Y/N, are you hurt? You just recovered!" she sounds genuinely upset.
"I'm not hurt, he didn't do anything."
"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about that. I didn't know," she lowers her eyes to the ground, "Not until the talk you had with my father."
"I know, I don't blame you," you sigh, "But why would you send him to talk to me?"
"I thought he could help," she explains, hoping you'd understand, "Lo'ak is not talkative, and Kiri's hasn't been taking the change very well. Neteyam's the only one who likes it here. So I thought he'd be the best to talk to."
You nod. She makes a good point. But his whole attitude, the pretentious novelty, it pisses you off. Acting tough and proper when his mother is around, but in reality, selfish. He doesn't care that you've lost everything because of his father. He has a new home he likes. And siblings, and parents... You feel jealous.
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You are a good hunter. You have a good aim, and you're fast. You used to think that you would be a good asset in danger but the way you froze, when you were attacked by the demons, makes you hesitant. What if that happens again? What if you come face-to-face with them and freeze?
The air outside of your room is refreshingly cold. You watch the dark sky hang over the sleepy Awa'atlu. In an attempt you clear your head, you start wandering around the village, eventually stopping at the terrace blending into the beach. Your ears perk up at faint voices, and as your eyes follow, you find two Na'vi by the water, oblivious to your presence. It looks like they are pretending to wrestle each other, letting out occasional laughs. You recall your earlier not-so-pretend fight with Neteyam and sigh out of frustration, taking a seat on the grass.
As one throws the other one to the ground, you think you recognize Neteyam. He laughs, swaying his hair, then gives a hand to help out his companion to his feet. The other Na'vi is taller than him, with broader shoulder, longer hair. Your breath catches in your throat, as you guess who that might be.
"Yeah, that's him," you hear a confirmation, and almost jump up.
Lo'ak is standing next to you, his gaze forward.
"Jake Sully?"
"My dad," he confirms again.
You turn your attention back to the two Na'vi wrestling, and you watch them for a moment. Eventually, Lo'ak sits down next to you.
"Neteyam's his favorite," he says, "He's the perfect son. The mighty warrior."
"The mighty warrior?" you repeat.
"He likes to call himself that," Lo'ak explains, "To piss me off."
"Does it work?"
"Yeah," he chuckles, "It pisses me off."
"Why aren't you pissed off at me?" you turn to face to him.
"Why aren't you?" he asks in return, "You're angry at Neteyam but not at me."
You pause. You're not really sure why Lo'ak joining you didn't frustrate you, the way Neteyam's presence would. Maybe it's because Lo'ak seemed guilty earlier. He didn't stand up for his dad, so there must be something both of you agree on.
"He pisses me off too," you answer, turning your gaze back to Neteyam in the distance, "I don't like when people pretend to care. Because once something threatens their peace, they really show how they don't give a crap about you."
"Neteyam doesn't pretend about caring," Lo'ak disagrees, "Sure, he pretends all the time but not when it comes to caring. He cares."
"Not about me anyway," you scoff.
Lo'ak falls silent. You got him there, you had a point. Thoughts race through your mind, as you try to comprehend what to make of this. Perhaps you judged too quickly, not knowing the whole story. What if it was your sister? Would you be willing to put at risk the peace of your village to protect her? No, that would never happen. She would face the enemy herself, not even letting you have a say in the matter.
"My father is not a bad guyl," Lo'ak interrupts your thoughts, "I'm not saying that he does everything right but... we're all he got."
You don't react. You don't really want to hear him justify his dad, make him seem vulnerable.
"He turned down his whole life for my mom. Left everything he believed in behind because he wanted to be with her," Lo'ak continues, "Even became one of us... He is one of us."
"Is that why..." you instinctively glance at his fingers, and Lo'ak shifts, "Is it true? Tsireya said that Eywa blessed him."
He nods. You let out a tired sigh. It's exhausting to think about it. His father was blessed by Eywa, he is the Toruk Makto. Who are you to disagree with the Great Mother?
"I don't know anymore," you admit defeated, "I just don't think it's fair... that others get punished. I just think more harm can be avoided."
"I know," Lo'ak agrees with you, "But the demons are stronger, they never give up. We woke up to war every day back home."
You listen to him with curiosity. You don't know much about their past life but you wonder if the war really was a constant in the forest.
"It's why we moved, you know?" his voice hitches, "My father knew that they were never going to let us live peacefully, so we tried hiding here instead."
You hum. You're not sure if it's the tiredness creeping up on you, or genuine empathy, but you feel sorry for Lo'ak. He seems to feel at fault for the consequences of his father's choices. It's almost like he speaks more to himself than to you. Justifies things to ease his heart.
"Seems like they're done," Lo'ak gets up, "I'm gonna go before dad catches me sneaking out."
You force a small smile, as you watch Jake and Neteyam dust the sand off their bodies. It takes you a while to move from your spot, but not quickly enough, as Neteyam spots you from a distance. He keeps his eyes on you, and you can almost feel your blood boil.
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For the next few days, things change rapidly. You notice that everyone is busy with their chores, rushing, and preparing, the feeling of danger weighing down on them. Tonowari orders for the hunters and skilled fighters to divide into pairs, assigning them to guard the island every night. Divers work on protective armors for their ilus. There is a big shift in the air.
Speaking about these measures to Tsireya gives you an unsettling feeling. You don't talk about the Sully's to her, even though they're constantly on your mind. You just can't believe that Tonowari agrees to protect them.
Tsireya's still hesitant to bring them up when you question her about her father's plans, even though you're well aware that Jake Sully actively participates in the matters of protection. She doesn't know that it's been keeping you up every night. To trust this man to protect you, when he is the reason for the attacks. His name alone forces painful visions of your sister and her mate, crouched down on the sand, with a weapon pointed at them.
"Have you talked to Kiri, since the...?" Tsireya starts hesitantly. You haven't. It upsets you because in a short time, you had begun to see Kiri as a friend.
"Not really," you hang your head, "I didn't want to attack her, it's just..."
"I'm sure she knows," Tsireya nods, "She protects her father but she feels guilty too. When she heard about your fight with Neteyam, she kind of scolded him."
Tsireya bites down on her lip, hiding a small smile. You can't really help a smile stretching on your lips too. You would have loved to see Neteyam getting scolded. Just the thought of it makes you feel a little better.
"I feel bad, it's not her fault," you admit.
"Maybe you two can talk it out?" Tsireya asks hopefully.
"Maybe."
"I'll let her know."
Unlike the other siblings, you've seen plenty of Lo'ak in the past few days. Mostly because you're only hanging out with Tsireya, and, well, Lo'ak wants to be around her. It's silly excuses, when they sneak away, leaving you alone. She even got in trouble for wandering with him around the guarded areas.
Lo'ak doesn't make you feel awkward. The two of you don't really talk but neither of you feels pressured to. You like to think that you and him reached some sort of understanding the other night. Partially, you feel bad for him for having Jake Sully for his father, and Neteyam, as his older brother. As a younger sister to Tsahik, you can relate to the pressure of always reaching for, yet never getting it all.
But when it comes to seeing Neteyam in the village... The angry looks that you exchange with him when passing each other just make your whole body ache. You barely hold yourself back from hissing at him. It's bad. You already had not one, but two people you hated.
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That evening, when you return to your marui, you're surprised to find Kiri waiting for you. She stands up, as you approach, and the two of you look at each other for a moment before you pull her into a hug.
"I didn't mean to yell at you, the other day," you admit, pulling away from her, "It's not your fault."
"I get it," she sighs, "If I were you, I'd be mad. I'm kind of mad now."
While you dreaded this conversation, it goes quite smoothly with Kiri. You don't feel judgment on her side for disagreeing with her father. You think it's unfair that the only person who makes you feel less of an outsider has to be the daughter of Jake Sully.
"I feel angry because I can't get used to the thought of just sitting here and waiting?" you finish on a higher note, hoping that she can relate, "Because while we're here, the demons are killing innocent Na'vi. Village by village. It's terrifying. I just wish I could do something to protect them."
Kiri nods and stares off into the distance, deep in her thoughts. You can feel the guilt she beares on her shoulders but she fights it to protect her family. Suddenly, she turns her head, yellow eyes glistening, like she has the brightest solution.
"Y/N, how well do you know the islands?" she asks.
"Um, there are about hundreds of villages but I know roughly where the settlements are on the islands."
"So if we wanted to warn them about the intruders, do you think you would be able to map them out and guide us there?"
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Now that you think about it, you feel like a fool for not figuring it out earlier. Why didn't anyone?
Sure, news would travel between neighboring villages but you were forgetting that the Awa'atlu was on the very far ends of the islands. And, by the time the others were warned about the possible attacks, there would be nothing left.
When you and Kiri propose the idea of swimming to the islands, and first-hand warning their Olo'eyktans, Tonowari hesitates. Not many in his clan are familiar with the other settlements, especially within the Eastern reefs, and underestimating the time frames could cost him lives.
"We don't have to warn everyone, just as many as we can," you plead, "And what if we the close-located clans fight back in unions. Surely, they would respect your advice as the Olo'eyktan."
"It worked when Toruk Makto did it," Tonowari hums in agreement, "It would be difficult to unionize all of the islands but there is a better chance of surviving for smaller unions."
"They at least deserve to know what's coming, please," you push further, and eventually gain an approving nod from him.
Quickly, small groups of the best Metkayina swimmers are formed to be assigned for the realization of the plan. While most of them are familiar with the neighboring islands, you're the one mapping out the Eastern Sea settlements for them. And although Tonowari immediately turns down your offer of joining them, you feel slightly better for at least contributing.
You go over your roughly drawn map on the sand one more time with the final group of three Metkayina swimmers, your goal to ensure that they are aware of the safest paths to approach the villages. The group is gathered around you, listening carefully, and as you talk, you feel someone watching you from afar. It's Neteyam. You take a moment to refocus before finding the track of your words again.
"Thank you, Y/N, we got it from here," Sokxot, one of the swimmer says, when you finish up.
You stay to watch as they swim away on their ilus, in your mind, praying to Eywa to guide them safely to their destination. When you think you're left alone, you're surprised to find Neteyam here. You frown at him. What does he want? Intimidate you with his staring? You're taken aback when he decides to approach you.
"Y/N," his greets you with a calm voice, then points to the map you drew, "This was your idea?"
"Kiri's," you correct him.
"Still, you helped a lot," Neteyam stares at the map, as if trying to memorize it. You roll your eyes at him.
"Guess I don't like sitting and waiting for danger,"
"I really hope this makes a difference," he says, sounding almost sincere.
You watch after him as he walks away, and let out a sigh. The two of you were too grown to act like kids.
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