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Another day and no matter how nice it felt taking a break yesterday, I have to start working again. I can't be stuck here forever.
I've spent most of my morning and noon researching 'Min Yoongi'. I've looked him up for almost hours now but it's hard to find anything useful about him on the internet. It's all just old articles about his role in BTS or newer articles that wants to rip open old discussions about the member.
I look up 'Suga', which I found out to be his stage name but nothing new comes up.
I know he's a music producer and a successful one thanks to what Hoseok told me, but then why is nothing coming up?
A famous music producer can not just disappear, can they?
It's only after almost two full hours of laying in my bed, researching the guy that I find out why I couldn't find anything about him.
Apparently, his stage name is Agust D, and not Suga which I had looked up the whole time, because that was his name in BTS.
As I look up 'Agust D', a lot of new articles and information pops up. A victorious feeling grows inside me. But it quickly shrinks again after I feel like I've looked everything through and I feel defeated again. There's nothing on where to find him. I mean, it mentions a company he works at but I don't think I'll be able to simply walk into a big music production company and ask for Agust D just like that.
I curse internally at how the world somehow respects Yoongi's privacy unlike others'. I mean, that's how it should be, but right now it would be easier if they wouldn't.
At last, I give up.
Not forever, but after 2.5 hours of researching with no luck, I feel very defeated.
Instead, I download a music streaming app on my phone and find some of his songs. He's a rapper too, other than being a producer. Some of his music he raps himself and others are more calm songs with a vocalist singing and Agust D credited. He has a lot of songs and is credited on a lot too.
It's not going to be easy to find this guy.
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My phone beeps and wakes me from the sleep I'd fallen into. My phone always buzzes so aggressively, it's almost impossible not to notice it whenever a notification chimes in, especially when they rarely do.
I look at it and see Hoseok's contact.
I sit up in my bed, opening the message.
Hoseok (Jhope):
I might know where you can find Yoongi...
I almost jump in excitement seeing the message. It's like Hoseok is an angel sent to help me when I feel helpless.
Me:
Really! Where?
Hoseok (Jhope):
I'm not sure, but while we were on a break from BTS, he rented this place and used it to produce his own music.
I don't know if he still uses it, but he might. It's a pretty private place and I feel like Yoongi needs that sometimes.
Me:
Great, send me the address!
Hoseok (Jhope):
Y/n, please respect his privacy if he wants you to. If he really still works there by himself, I don't think he will be delighted to have someone approach him...
Just keep in mind that that is his free room, don't cross the line.
The text Hoseok sent makes me think deeply. I've already crossed the line so many times. It's basically my job, because how else will I be able to complete my mission?
I don't want to scare Yoongi, so I take in Hoseok's guidance, I just don't know if I'll be able to comply with it.
Me:
Yeah of course. I'll be considerate.
Hoseok then sends me the address and I get up from my bed, getting dressed immediately.
I reach the address Hoseok sent me, but I'm not confident that I'll find Yoongi here. The map on my phone is directing me down an alley. It's not a dirty one, but a dark and secluded one. It goes deep and there's no people. There are a few doors leading to what I suppose are apartments or the back door of some of the shops bordering the alley.
I get to a door with a large window next to it. The window is toned, so I get closer to it. I place my forehead on it and use my hands to shield the light from my eyes. I cannot see much, but I can tell a big table with lots of buttons on. I can also slightly get the idea of a small piano and a microphone laying on top of it.
This might be it, I think but the defeat well over me before I even get to be excited.
There's no lights on. He's not here. Maybe he hasn't been here for years, Hoseok wasn't sure if he still used this and now I'm not either.
What famous music producer would come to a place like this anyway? It doesn't seem quite expensive and there are no people around. Why would Yoongi be here if he is a professional and works in a company that can easily rent him his own studio?
Notwithstanding my thoughts, I decide to stay and wait for a while.
Maybe he will come, maybe he won't but for now this is my biggest lead as to where I can find him.
So I sit down on the street, not really happy with it but I'm going to be here for a while. I just downloaded a new game on my iPhone which I quite enjoy and maybe time will pass by quickly if I just play that.
But it doesn't.
Even though I've now been sitting in my spot for about one and a half hour, I feel like I've been sitting there for an entire day and night. My butt hurts and my neck too, from looking down at my phone for too long.
I get up from my spot and stretch my body which feels stiff. I dust off my butt and use the camera on my phone to check if there's anything left on it.
"Excuse me." Someone says and I jump in my spot. I hide my phone at once while blood rush up in my cheeks.
Fuck this is so embarrassing, I think as it might've looked like I took pictures of my butt.
"Sorry." I mumble and bow before stepping back.
I then look up at the person, curious as to who would be here and chose the worst timing ever to be here.
It's a guy. I can't see much of his face as he wears a cap and looks mainly towards the ground, but I have a feeling about who it might be.
And that feeling is confirmed as he walks down the few steps to the door that leads into the studio I've been waiting outside.
"Yoongi?" I call, watching him as he puts the key in the keyhole of the door, but stops and doesn't turn it.
He turns around and looks at me. I can finally see his face and it looks exactly like Min Yoongi, Suga of BTS, Agust D and former friend of Jungkook.
"Yeah." He sighs and looks me up and down before finding my eyes again, "Look, I don't know how you found out about this place, but I don't appreciate you being here. Fans should respect their idol's privacy and don't approach them when they're off work." He explains.
I gulp down and stay quiet, quite intimidated by his certainty even though he speaks very calmly.
"What's your name?" He asks to my surprise.
"Y/n, I'm—"
"Y/n, this is something I don't want people to know about. If it gets out, I will find you again and sue you for violating my privacy, got it?" He expresses with raised eyebrows that forms many wrinkles on his forehead.
"I—"
"Good, now leave and don't talk about this." He says and motions for me to walk away.
He seems so rude, but really I can't blame him. Hoseok warned me saying this might be his free space and here I am, invading it.
"Yoongi I—"
"I'm sorry if it seems rude, but this is not okay and I'm not happy with it." He turns around and turns the key in the keyhole.
"I'm a friend of Jungkook's!" I rush the words out quickly to prevent him from entering the studio and closing the door on me.
Yoongi lets out a scoff and halts his motion as the handle is pressed down. He doesn't believe me.
"I can prove it, look!" I say and grab my phone, going to Jungkook's and my chat and handing it to Yoongi.
His back is still turned at me and it's getting kind of embarrassing holding my phone for him to take without him responding.
"This is important, please let's talk." I beg.
Yoongi turns around slowly and grabs the phone out of my hand. There's not a lot of texts between Jungkook and I and it looks as if Yoongi still doesn't believe me 100 percent as he hands me back my phone.
"I have Hoseok's number too—"
"Look Y/n, I'm not sure if you're fucking with me or not, but I haven't got the time right now." Yoongi's voice is still calm and certain. He doesn't sound rude but I'm not getting a feeling of kindness either.
"I'm not... fucking with you. Please, just 5 minutes. Jungkook needs you." I almost whine as I feel desperate for Yoongi to not push the door open and leave me with no hope left.
Yoongi scoffs again and rubs his neck, leaning his head backwards after. He looks at me with a. quirked brow and piercing eyes.
"Jungkook is not doing well. He's facing a lot of despondency and Jimin is—"
"I don't talk about my members anymore. I don't want to hear it."
"But—"
"No buts. We all went through a lot, we all suffered. I got myself back on my feet. I did that, alone and without anyone's help. So can the others. They don't need my help, they'll have to learn to stand on their own feet. It may seem tough, but that's how life is. It's not always going to be easy. You have to take bullets to get stronger, if they failed at that it's not my fault." He opens the door and walks inside the studio, giving me one last look, "I wish them the best. But I'm done, don't come back." His words slaps me in the face and the sound of the door closing punches me in the stomach.
I stand baffled for a moment after the door shuts.
I didn't expect this.
Before today, I didn't think the other's had been easy to convince, but now I do.
I did not expect to get a rejection from Yoongi.
I thought he would miss them, comply to my idea as the others and maybe even go straight with me and find Jungkook.
But really as Yoongi said, not everything is going to be easy. Maybe I expected it to be because it's been going so well for so long, but now I feel discouraged.
How am I going to convince Yoongi to do this if he genuinely doesn't want to?
I can't force him. He seems determined about what he's feeling and he doesn't seem like one to budge.
Are the other members enough? Is Yoongi really necessary to make Jungkook feel whole again? To make him heal?
After all, I can't bring all 7 members back.
The thoughts flood my mind and I feel a headache crawl up on me. I grab my head and start to walk away.
Maybe Yoongi is going to be my biggest headache.
Not everything is going to be easy, and this certainly won't.
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Author's note
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So... Yoongi is a tough nut to crack. Do you think Y/n will be able to do it alone?
Or will she just give up?