(⚠️warnings⚠️, this chapter includes physical and mental child abuse, sexual assault/rape that i DO NOT write explicitly, it's just spoke about before and afterwards. much like a previous chapter, this one is going to have a very uncomfortable feel. so if any of these things make you uncomfortable or trigger you in anyway, please do not read and that was not my intention.)
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the silence in the kitchen was excruciating. kreacher had served them dinner and waited in the corner if anyone needed anything, without receiving any meal of his own. astra planned to take some leftovers to his poor excuse of a bed later. since dinner was served, no one had said a thing, only exchanging glances above glasses of wine and forkfuls of potato. astra hadn't looked towards any of them once.
salem wasn't making this easy. oh, why would he? it seemed as though his only reason for living was to taunt astra. his eyes barely left her and he knew she felt his gaze because her blank face would contort into one of disgust and discomfort. he enjoyed that. he bathed in how horrible he could make her feel. it was one of his favourite things to do.
astra's skin crawled as she poked her food around her plate, her appetite gone completely. every once in a while, salem's boot would come in contact with her own and she'd tense, the fact he was so close to her making her want to shrink into a hole in the centre of the earth and burn like the core. salem knew it, so he continued to jab her with his boot.
astra wanted to slap the smug smirk off his arrogant face.
"so," mr. malfoy spoke up, clearing his throat after sipping his wine, "are we going to discuss the engagement?"
"yes, that would be wise." orion agreed.
astra's heart dropped to her stomach and her knife scraped on her plate as it sliced through a softcarrot with much more force than needed. the entire table looked towards her at the disruptive sound and she looked back at them for the first time, muttering a reluctant apology.
"anyway," mrs. malfoy said, eyeing astra with repulsion, "we think it would be a good plan to have the wedding in december. they'll both be eighteen-years-old, although i'm sure it wouldn't be a bother to do it sooner. in the summer, even."
"i think december sounds the best." walburga spoke up.
"yes, but if we make it happen in august, astra can move into the house and drop out of school. the quicker that happens, the sooner the bloodline will be continued." mrs. malfoy smiled.
walburga and orion shared a look. it wasn't one of horror or disgust, as it should have been when a woman who was pretty much a stranger suggested that astra leave her wishes to have a career behind to be forced to birth children she may not even want, hidden away in a random mansion with no freedom. no, this look was one of agreement. and astra had never been so revolted.
"i agree." salem spoke up, his smirking face the stuff of nightmares to astra. "the quicker, the better."
mr. and mrs. malfoy both smiled in a similar twisted way to astra's parents. it was a smile shown when they got something they wanted. it never appeared when something good had happened. white-hot rage fuelled astra's veins and the grip on her cutlery got tighter, so much tighter it may have snapped if she did it any longer. but she didn't, she slammed them down on the table with such anger that the table jumped in shock.
"do i get no say?" astra asked, staring them all down. "you're really just going to marry me off and try to make me have children with an absolutely awful excuse of a man?"
"astra." orion warned, his voice low and menacing with threat. "be quiet—"
"no. i cannot stand it. i'm not an object to be used as breeding stock." astra scoffed, standing up, not shocked by the fact she'd have to tell her parents that. they didn't understand basic humanity, or what it meant to give their children a choice in life.
"astra." orion repeated, his voice a hiss, a vein prominent on his neck.
"father." astra shot back, her tone mocking. "you're all appalling examples of wizards and witches, no matter how pure your blood may be."
"i think you need to control your child." mr. malfoy snapped, insulted that astra had insinuated that a muggleborn wizard or witch was better than he, a pureblood wizard, was.
"astra, come with me." orion demanded, standing sharply and heading for the door. astra didn't move from her stood position, meeting salem's challenging glare. orion's hand clamped down on her wrist, sure to leave a bruise. "now!"
he yanked astra from the kitchen and dragged her upstairs and pushed her inside of her bedroom. with fury bouncing off the man, orion slammed her door closed and muttered a silencing spell. when he turned to face astra again, she was still staring at him with hatred, her anger as powerful as his.
"what an embarrassment you have become!" orion yelled, the room near enough vibrating with the volume of his voice. "you are an utter disgrace to your entire family! you made a fool of yourself in front of the malfoy's! i wouldn't be surprised if they are now reluctant to allow you to marry salem!"
"my plan worked then." astra shot back. it was a lie, she didn't plan on yelling at her parents and the malfoy's a dinner in hopes of them turning down her her supposed future marriage to salem, but it seemed like a good outcome now.
orion pulled out his wand and aimed it towards astra, yelling, "crucio!"
sharp stabbing pains were all astra could feel as she fell to the ground, nails clawing into her palms at the agonising spell. every single time this spell was used on her, she wondered if death would simply be easier than all of the pain, no matter how short it ended up being. while under the spell, death didn't seem like a punishment, if anything it seemed like it would be a reward.
the spell eased and astra exhaled, the pain so extreme it had made her unable to breath during it. orion didn't stop, though, he inflicted the spell once more. the pain returned and astra let out a shout at the agony, struggling to turn over onto her stomach, gripping the dark wooden floorboards so hard the wood was close to splintering in her fingertips.
once the second curse had eased, astra breathed raggedly, her body tingling with the pain she'd felt moments ago. she spotted her wand hanging off of the edge of her desk and reached out a shaking hand to grab it. however, orion was quicker and he snatched it just as her trembling fingers grazed the wood.
"you'll get this back just before you return to school." orion stated, his voice sounding, in a sick and twisted way, more pleased now that he'd brought his own daughter to the floor with pain.
the curse was inflicted on her for a third time and she screamed, nails scraping on any surface she could reach. it felt never ending and she was close to fainting with exhaustion and pain but the curse relented. orion then muttered a spell quietly, one astra could hear properly as her heart thumped in her ears.
a large gash magically appeared on her stomach, a strip of her dress cut through as she began to bleed. her hands shakily reached up to press down on the bleeding wound as orion left her room without a care for her, slamming the door behind him.
some time passed by and astra managed to stand on swaying legs. the gash on her stomach wasn't going to be fatal but it still bled through her fingers, dripping down her wrist as she pulled herself up. the witch glanced around her bedroom and caught sight of her trunk, wondering if she could escape this time. she could stay in the leaky cauldron for the rest of the week.
stumbling for her trunk, astra flipped it open and began to shove things inside hurriedly. she had her own vault at gringotts so she could buy another wand with her money. she had enough money to last her a lifetime, she could do this easily. the hard part was getting out of grimmauld place unseen.
astra hadn't heard her bedroom door open or close, but she felt arms wrap tightly around her waist. her mouth opened, preparing to speak or shout but a large hand clamped over her mouth, pressing her cheeks together in a painful grip. her blood ran cold and she felt frozen to the spot, as if she was paralysed.
salem placed his chin on her shoulder and astra's eyes closed in dread as he spoke, "where did you plan on going to? you have no one, astra. your mudblood and blood traitor 'friends' are keeping you around for convenience, nothing more. and if it wasn't for sirius," salem almost spat his name, "do you really think potter, lupin or pettigrew would give a shit? i'm not sure even sirius does, he probably pities you. i know i do."
astra tried to wiggle out of his hold, pushing at his arms with her hands, digging her nails into his skin. she lifted a leg and kicked him harshly in the shin causing him to stubble slightly and loosen his grip on her. she turned around sharply and punched him in the face. salem's head fell backwards with a groan, blood trickling down his top lip.
angered by her painful punch, salem reached for his wand in his inside pocket, aiming it at astra. she tried to dodge whatever spell he was about to shoot at her but rope bonded around her hands from the charm he mumbled, locking her hands behind her back. he repeated it to her ankles next and she nearly fell forwards with the impact of the magical rope. before she could topple over, salem caught her from behind, pressing her back into his chest. astra opened her mouth again but his grip returned over the bottom of her face.
"you can scream all you like once i'm done talking," salem started, pulling some hair from her neck with his free hand to whisper close to her ear, "in fact, i may even prefer that. no one will hear you, anyway. and even if they did, i doubt they'd care all that much. but you try anything other than that, if i leave this room with anymore blood on my face, i'll make your life even more miserable. do you understand?"
astra didn't say anything, she didn't mutter a word behind his hand as tears welled on her waterline, her mind flashing to the christmas ball at the malfoy's house. the bathroom. his hands. her consciousness slipping away and then coming back. merlin, she wished he'd knock her out this time. but he seemed to be enjoying the face she was more aware of what he was doing.
salem's thumb found the gash on her stomach and he dug it into the wound making astra jolt and whimper in pain behind is hand, the salty tears burning her eyes as they started to dribble down her cheeks.
she felt utterly helpless once again.
"do you understand?" salem hissed, pushing his thumb into her cut harder and she lowered her head with another muffled sound of pain. "i'll take that as a yes."
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cheek pressed into her pillow that was now wet with tears, astra's fingers curled into her mattress as she choked back another sob. her throat hurt from screaming and shouting at salem and she didn't know how long it would take for the scratchiness to go away. if it was possible to peel her skin off, she would love nothing more. she felt so weak, so vulnerable and so fucking stupid for not fighting him harder, for not trying the wandless magic she'd been learning for the past few months.
before salem had left her bedroom smugly, leaving her in an abused pile on her bed, he took the rope from her body, knowing she could barely move and that's he'd given up on trying to fight him when he punched her for kneeing him. she'd crawled underneath her quilt and tried to suppress the sound of her cries, but it didn't matter because they didn't stop. if anything, the need to cry was stronger than before.
with shaking hands, astra reached into the drawer beside her bed and dug underneath the cardboard for the mirror. she gripped it tightly and pulled it towards her, the shard feeling sharp against her palm. she contemplated talking to sirius and wondered what he'd think of her if she randomly decided to speak to him, crying her eyes out like a weak, little girl.
but she was close to exploding and she needed to speak to sirius, she missed him. as much as they'd joke they were disgusted by the idea of being twins and the playful fights they created, they both knew they needed one another more than anyone else. astra had comforted sirius on numerous occasions but never once allowed herself the same treatment.
he'd promised her she could talk to him anytime about anything, so she was going to use that promise.
"sirius." astra whispered into the mirror, his name passing her lips in a thick voice, hoarse from screaming. "sirius, please don't fucking be asleep."
there was no reply and she sobbed his name a few more times. eyes shut tightly, astra continued to cry for her brother in hope he would, at some point, answer to her calls. she didn't stop, squeezing the shard in her palm as it dug into her skin. her eyes snapped open when footsteps could be heard nearby on the other end of the mirror. she cried his name again.
"astra?" she heard sirius ask, his voice sounding slightly distant. there was a scrambling and a shuffling until she could see his face. he grinned his almost mad grin. "astra!"
"i didn't think you'd heard me." astra smiled slightly, lips trembling.
"i nearly didn't, but i was coming to get something from my trunk." he replied before he noticed the tears in her eyes. "what's happened?"
it was on the tip of her tongue. she could tell sirius, he wouldn't judge her. why would he? it wasn't her fault. astra had no reason to feel ashamed.
yes, you do.
her breath hitched midway through a deep inhale.
you have everything to be ashamed for.
she could feel his hands on her skin and her useless attempts of pushing him off.
you didn't even try very hard. you made it seem like you wanted it.
astra could feel the bruises on her thighs, her waist, her arms and her throat. she could feel the blood on her pyjama shorts.
it was your fault.
astra sighed shakily, "nothing. i'm just overthinking."
sirius didn't look convinced, "did they use crucio?"
"yeah." astra nodded, which wasn't exactly a lie, that just wasn't what she was thinking about.
"why don't you go to the potter's?" sirius asked. "i'm sure mia and monty wouldn't mind."
astra scoffed, "they've no idea who i am, i can't turn up out of the blue, sirius."
"i'll ask james if you want. he can send them a letter." sirius offered. he just wanted her out of there and safe.
"no, no, don't do that. i'll just get the train back to hogwarts, it's only five days away now." astra sniffled. "i'll be fine until then."
"but you don't go back this summer, okay? no matter what regulus is doing." sirius demanded. "you can't keep doing this to yourself. especially for someone that isn't even worth it."
"he's our little brother—"
"he's made his own choice, and his choice is their side, not ours." sirius stated firmly and it pained astra to say she was beginning to agree with sirius' words. she was truly losing her little brother. "anyway, what did they want you back for?"
"oh, y'know, to tell me that i'm being married off to malfoy this december." astra huffed, the fact she was saying his name making her want to punch a hole through his head. "just some lovely, wholesome family time."
"as usual. wouldn't expect anything less. oh, how wonderful they can be." sirius remarked sarcastically and she chuckled, her tears subsiding the more she spoke to her twin.
the pair continued to speak quietly about everything and about nothing until sirius grew so tired he could barely keep his head up. it had passed 4am at this point so astra told him to go to bed. after a few complaints of leaving her alone, sirius complied and set the mirror down, tucked away in his trunk.
astra shoved her shard back underneath the slip of cardboard. she lay back down and closed her eyes, trying to force sleep on herself. it didn't work, if anything it made her stay awake longer. she continued to think about what salem had done to her and what he would probably continue to do to her. the tears came back.
eventually, she wore herself out by sobbing silently and fell asleep.
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