a/n: this update took far longer than planned
i've been wanting to finish this story and get back to my other one, but my teachers decided to wait until the very last week of school to give us two ass-loads of projects, and i sort of became obsessed with Lord of the Flies. so, i will try and wrap up this story within this chapter.
love you guys, thanks so much for reading. xx
-Julia
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I'm indignant. Beyond that; I'm embarrassed. Louis called me out and I have to own up to his accurate accusation. I don't want to. I want him to come to me with puffy red eyes apologizing, telling me how sorry he is and how wrong he was. I suppose I already had that chance. I'd take him back if I'd known I was going to have to be the one to beg for forgiveness later on.
There are many things I hate in life. People, arrogant people, stupid people, being tired, my asthma, my father, and admitting I'm wrong. It's so hard for me to hike up my skirt and let an apology slip from my mouth. I feel weak and embarrassed when I do.
More than I want to had my pride intact, I want Louis back. I miss him like I'd miss my leg if it had been torn off somehow.
So I aimlessly wonder around in our ex-secret hangout with my head swimming of thoughts and feelings and what the hell am I to do's. I wish it was simple, and I could just go up to him and ask for him to be my boyfriend, but it isn't that easy. That's my fault, but once again, blaming it on Louis makes me more comfortable.
I sit myself on the rock where this whole catastrophe took place and release a long, heavy sigh. I peer up through the autumn leaves that are barely holding onto their branches and into the clear blue sky.
"I wish I could just start over," I mutter aloud and avert my eyes back to the Earth as the bright, yellow sun caused my eyes to ache. War flash-backs pierce through my head as I think of my first kiss with Louis here. I think about how long I've day-dreamed about that moment in various classes and how right it felt when it finally occurred. I can't help but smile a little.
I start to recall the fact that Louis is all I've wanted for ages. Three years ago is when I began to develop feelings for that boy, and now I'm letting him slip away. I have reasonable cause to be offended, but he has apologized and he is trying to improve the circumstances for the both of us. He can't remove the words spilled about his sexual orientation and that was a step I hadn't expected him to take for my sake. Maybe he truly does love me.
I stand to my feet, determination in my veins like felix felicis. I trek out of the woods and make good time towards Louis', praying that he's there.
_
I tentatively pound on the grand front door without the security of Liam beside me this time. I feel completely vulnerable, but I don't mind much. I'm here for a reason and my mission won't be hindered by any conflicting emotion fluttering around inside my skull, urging me to turn around.
My heart crawls up my throat when the front door swings open and a damp-haired Louis is revealed in the entrance. He's clad in sports shorts and a form-fitting black shirt. His blue eyes scrutinize my presence as if deciding whether or not it's me or a hologram.
"Hello," He's the first to greet.
I clear my throat. "Hi, Lou. I came to sort things out..."
Louis, for a split second, was indignantly surprised. He tossed both eyes to the side with a raise of both eyebrows. He stared at his feet after this. "C'mon in, then. I'm home alone."
I take one stride inside the doorway and watch as he secures shuts out the world behind us. He leads me through the quaint abode into a fully furnished room. He carelessly hops on a sofa and I awkwardly linger before he shoots me a you can sit down look. I take the weight off my feet and place it on an armchair instead. I melt into the leather, losing the fire I possessed before approaching Louis' house. It's extravagance always intimidates me, and so does Louis today.
"What've you wanted to sort out?"
I force myself to sit up straight and train my eyes on Louis. It's hard to spill out the words, but I do anyways. "I'm sorry."
Louis lifts an eyebrow, almost taunting. "For?"
I sigh. "For being an ass about this whole thing. For being all prideful and forgetting what I wanted."
"And what's it that you want?"
I wet my lips and continue to hold an intent gaze with the brunette. "You." I speak out, my voice lower than I expected. "I've wanted you for three years— and I just wanted you to want me too. I got butt-hurt and I didn't feel like forgiving. And I'm sorry."
Louis processes my apology for a long minute. He finally gives me a sense of relief when I saw a grin ghost his lips. He nods. "I forgive you."
My heart feels less heavy at this juncture and I let my shoulders slacken.
"But,"
The word cuts into my chest and I stiffen with the possibility of any possible thing going horrendously wrong by the meaning of that simple conjunction. My eyelids peeled back wider than probably healthy.
"What?"
Louis' trace of a smile turns into a gorgeous beam. "I'm not gonna be the one to ask you out."
"Is that right?" My lips curl into the expression that matches his. He nods.
"Certainly. Sucks to your pride. I refuse to make the first move."
I roll my eyes and relocate to beside him on the sofa. I take his hand in my own and attempt to be as melodramatic as possible to make him cross.
"Louis William Tomlinson; Dearest love of mine. It would not only be a privileged—" I begin to fake choke up. "But an honor to call you my—"
"Just shut up and kiss me, you absolute idiot."
I obey, leaning in to crash my lips against Louis' for the second time. It was as if all of the stress and drama of mere existence has faded away, drifting into thin air and becoming nothing. So much is lifted off my shoulders when his soft lips move with mine in perfect sync. He urges me to close the separation between us by tugging the front of my shirt. I press myself against him and let my tongue explore his mouth.
He tangles his fingers in my curly hair and I snake my arms around his slim torso. Sloppy, hungry kisses leave me dizzy with angst and need. I want more and more as the feeling of him against me intoxicates me. My senses are numb to all things but Louis; his scent, his skin, and the taste of him.
He pulls away from the kiss barely long enough to breath out, "My bedroom."
I understood and we made our way to the room that I inwardly pray he cleaned. Once we manage to reach the room, I kick the door shut and he pushes me down on the bed. The ravishing continues and I feel lost to the world.
Needless to say, things are much better between us after today.
_
The rest of the year goes by quickly; almost too quickly for my taste, which is usually not at all my attitude towards school. Louis and I became public with out relationship and it feels nice to not hide behind anything anymore. Once everyone got used to it, of course, it was great. The gawking subsided eventually and we could hold hands without getting called faggots.
The very last day of senior year finally rolls around and everyone seems surprisingly mellow about it. I'm bouncing my leg up and down as the class collectively stares at the clock. It's the very last period of our high-school careers and I'm both ready to say good riddance and run away, and sad that this chapter in my life is closing.
When the final bell finally rings, my heart drops to the ground when everyone jumps up and cheers. I'm left sitting in my seat, wide eyes darting around the class room of over excited teenagers. People are picking each other up, couples are snogging, the teacher is actually grinning; it's beautiful anarchy.
I exit the classroom in immediate pursuit of my boyfriend. I receive a few half-hearted farewells from kids I kind of like on the way to Louis' locker. Upon arrival, I lean against the locker beside his and pout my lip.
"It's all over, Baby."
"Yeah," He sighed, then shrugged. "I'm off to New York in two months so who really cares?"
"Me. I'll miss you."
"You can come visit me in my fabulous shoe-box apartment."
I wrap my arms around his waist and kiss his ear. "I suppose so."
He returns the hug and says, "And when I'm famous on Broadway we can buy a massive mansion and get a bunch of those ugly dogs that celebrities get."
I chuckle. "Sure, Lou."
We share a sweet kiss before he grabs his book-bag and we head to my locker, hand in hand. Liam catches up with us.
"I lucked out. I still have three detentions I haven't served. Remind me again why everyone's so nostalgic about graduating,"
Louis throws his arms around mine and Liam's shoulders, having to stand up on his toes to reach. I smile at his tininess. "Because we are finally men, Payno. We were boys before that bell rung."
Liam raises an eyebrow at him. "More like Harry and I are men and you're a tiny hedgehog."
"You know what," Louis speaks through gritted teeth, removing his arms from us and pushing Liam with his surprising strength. We all laugh and I shake my head at my ridiculous best friends, not really missing Zayn (who still has not spoken to me. Figures). I beginning to feel like on of those nostalgic people.
I've learned more about myself this year than about anything school could ever teach me, and some solid rules of life. Swallow your pride, let go your past, and focus on things that truly make you happy. Let's hope that philoshy carries over into adult life well.
"You okay, Haz." Louis inquires, pulling my from my thoughts. I peer down at his beautiful face and stare into those oceanic blue eyes. I smile wide.
"Have I ever told you that I love you?"
He rolls his eyes, grinning still. "You might have mentioned it."
Liam groans. "Can you be gross on your own time?"
Louis and I chuckle, and I steal one more kiss before we all exit the school building for the very last time. A feeling of relief and achievement washes over me.
Yeah, it's sad to leave high-school. But I'm not scared of what lies ahead anymore. As long as Louis fits in there somewhere. Somehow I know he will.
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a/n: it is complete
*waits for applause*
thank you to the ten people who read this story, it means a lot. i love to write and complain about society so this was great
please continue to read my stories because id like to think they're alright but i'll probably look back on them when im forty and cry
i love you all lots.xx
-julia