Sienna's POV
I wake as if it's an emergency as if sleeping had become a dangerous thing. My heart beats fast and there is a buzzing in my brain. Together they create panic.
I frantically look around. I double-tap on my phone screen and it lights up. 3 AM.
The rain was coming down in sheets as loud screaming shook the walls of the house. Eating the noises and storing them deep into the memory of the house. My memory. A strike of lightning lit up my room for a second. I took deep breaths. On other days I would go down. Stop the loud arguing. Maybe even protect my mom.
Only now my brain is like a flat battery. Which makes not only my brain but my whole body exhausted.
I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around my shins; if I could just curl up into a ball, I wouldn't have to face real life, I'd be protected from everything around me.
But I'd still have to live with myself, with the wretched memories swirling around in my head.
Again I look at my phone. Setting it before me.
3:09 AM.
My eyes, already red and puffy from crying, squeezed shut to push more tears out. I let my head fall to my knees.
No matter what I did, there was nowhere I could hide from the thoughts in my head and noises from downstairs.
All I can do through hopelessness is stare at my phone as the time ticks by. Every precious droplet of seconds drips away.
And so I already know this day will pass as if I am hungover, not from drink, but from the nightmares.
I bury my face deeper into my knees. Letting the loud bumping of rain against the roof together with screaming and shattering glass against the floor consume me whole.
☆ ☆ ☆
Due to my sleepless night, I move around in slow, dragging movements.
With dread forming in my stomach and all the nerves in my body telling me to stop and not move further I open the door. Slowly and quietly I make my way downstairs. As soon as my feet leave the last step of the stairs my socks are wet.
I shiver from the feeling and look dreadfully down. Releasing a small sigh of relief. I lift my right leg and furrow my eyebrows. My eyes follow the occasional wet spots. Shortly I see brown shattered glass beside a bigger puddle.
Beer bottle.
I make my body move into the kitchen. Almost instantly noticing the wooden chair which was most likely pushed to the ground. An unfinished meal is left on the table with glass that too fell over and spilled its content.
Subconsciously I check the drawer with cutlery. I nod to myself.
☆ ☆ ☆
"Hiiiii." I'm engulfed in a bear hug.
I look up and see Kane smiling brightly at me.
"Hi."
"Come. Our class is almost starting."
I tilt my head. "We have classes together?"
He enthusiastically bounces his head. "A good number of them. Some with Dominic too."
My mood lifts. "Really?"
"You just haven't noticed."
"Sorry."
He shakes his head. "Nah it's okay."
We go together to our next class. Algebra.
We enter and spot still unused desks.
I shock myself with my next question. "Do you want to sit together?"
He grins, showing dimples. "I thought that was already decided. But yes. Yes of course."
And we do.
He puts his notebook on the desk.
I shamefully pull out mine too and set it down which is a teeny tiny bit ripped and mostly bare.
He eyes mine and asks, "you don't understand algebra?"
"Yes...n't." I cringe.
He laughs. "Clarify?"
"I understood it. But then I stopped paying attention and fell behind."
He nods understandingly.
"I can help? If you want of course," He adds the last part quickly. His face flushes light red.
I nod. "That would be awesome."
When the teacher comes and gives us work to do Kane patiently and slowly shows and tells me a step-by-step explanation. 1 problem takes us (more like only me) a little longer so we go way slower than assumably everyone else. Kane doesn't complain tho. He looks more than happy to help even though he won't finish his worksheet before the end of the class like he always does.
Multiple times I said that I'm fine on my own so that he could work on his sheet. He refused and denied it. Saying he would rather watch me and point out when I make a mistake so that he could explain why it can't be like that.
If only all teachers were like him.
They expect us to comprehend their PowerPoint presentation downloaded somewhere from Google where are used terms they probably don't understand too.
And I'm not even talking about how fast some of the teachers go through them.
They should sign up for the 'the most mouse clicks in a minute wins' type of contest. I can name teachers who would place in the top 3.
"There! See? It isn't that hard to figure out. Dang, you may even be better than me if you keep up," Kane praises. He draws big smiley faces next to all of my correctly solved problems.
I smile, excited to do more.
As my pen goes to touch the paper the bell rings. I freeze.
Kane collects his stuff and stands up. I expect him to leave but he stays.
I look up to see him watching me with a small smile. Waiting for me. To not keep him waiting I swiftly shove my things into the bag and stand up.
☆ ☆ ☆
"You are almost 18! You should know it!"
I angrily set down my bottle of water.
"How am I supposed to know something YOU never taught me as a mother!"
She opens her mouth but I cut her off. "How many times have I asked you, huh?! How many?! And you pushed me away. You always found a reason not to teach me and now I'm lost in life! I can't do anything. From cooking to being independent to,--"
"I DIDN'T HAVE TIME," she yells.
"Whole 17 years of my life?"
"You are being dramatic. Why can't you be thankful for what you have."
And what do I have?
I go straight into my room, ignoring her calling after me.
I'm so scared of actual life that it's pathetic. My parents learned that all they need to do is give me everything I need. Without me doing something. So they would not need to actually raise me and attend to me. However, what they created is a person who knows nothing about life and is lost. And who's fault is that? Mine.
I wipe my eyes to stop tears from shedding.
I grab my phone and unlock it.
I put more comfortable clothes on, grab my keys and head out. I'm not staying here a minute longer.
☆ ☆ ☆
I enter Cheryl's house. And lock the doors behind me. I know it's me and she knows I'm coming but I still wouldn't leave doors unlocked like that.
I put my shoes away and go straight to her living room.
"Hi!" She hugs me and so do Dom and Kane who already arrived.
"Sorry to keep you waiting I uh..." I look down feeling awkward.
Cheryl dismisses it. "It's alright. I would wait for a thousand more for you." She goes back to her spot.
"We were just picking the movie," Dom clarifies.
Cheryl taps on the spot beside her but it is right between her and Kane. What is that girl doing?
I nod and sit between Kane and her.
"Did you finish the worksheet?" Kane asks and just now I'm realizing how close he really is.
Why am I feeling like this?
Studying was the last thing on my mind.
I shake my head and go to apologize but he beats me to it. "Oh good! I was looking forward to the next little study session." He beams.
I smile, relaxing.
"Since we are at it... What would you say about meeting at my house to do the project?"
His house? Alone with him? Like no Cheryl nor Dom?
"But if you want to do it at yours I understand."
I quickly shake my head. "No."
He grins. "Okay, then may it be at mine?"
I nod. "Sure yea."
"Awesome, you can choose the day and time alright? I'm free all week."
"Boo, boooring. Will you ever shut up about school?" Dom interrupts us.
Kane rolls his eyes and looks at his friend.
Dom widens his eyes and realization dawns on him. "Oohhhh right. Study. Right." Dom winks at my and Kane's direction.
"Stop being a perv!" Kane swings his arm with a pillow in Dom's direction but he dodges it.
Dom smirks. "I'm a football player. My reflexes are at the top--" He is stopped by a flying pillow which hits him square in the face.
Cheryl laughs. "Bullseye!"
Kane joins in. "Ah yes, reflexes of a professional," he laughs.
"Amateurs. Real amateurs," Dom mutters.
We laugh.
"Okay enough of the bickering! What movie?"
And another hell's coming.
☆ ☆ ☆
As I predicted we are fighting over which movie to play.
"I'm not watching some romance where in every scene they will be fucking!" Dom argues.
"And I'm not watching a comedy that we've all seen 10 times already!" Cheryl fires back.
Or to be more specific. Cheryl and Dominic argue. I and Kane prepared popcorn and chips with drinks. Now we eat from the bowl of chips I reserved for myself.
Kane placed a large blanket over us. He threw the second blanket near Cheryl.
Dom goes to grab some of my chips but I lean away.
"Hey!"
I point at popcorn.
"I want chips thought."
"These are her favorite. She won't share." Cheryl says and secretly starts choosing a movie on her own.
"But she's sharing with Kane!" He whines.
"He's not annoying."
Dom drastically gasp. "I have been hurt. Right here." He taps on his chest.
"Wrong side." Kane voices from beside me.
"Oop, my bad." Dom puts his hand on the other side of his chest. Now correctly where his heart is. "Right here."
"How unfortunate," I mumble and stuff my face with more chips.
"Shhhh! The film is starting!" Cheryl claps her hands excitedly.
I feel Kane put his arm behind me on the couch's headrest. I move my hair to the side so it won't tickle him. I frown when my hair is close to the bowl full of chips.
Gently Kane takes my hair and puts them where they were before. With his fingers, he starts combing my hair. Carefully so he doesn't tug on my hair.
I smile, relaxing more.
It's halfway through the movie when my eyelids start to feel heavy.
I lean back, my head fully resting against Kane's arm. I expect him to move it away but he doesn't.
I put the bowl aside and close my eyes. Feeling light and soothing traces of Kane's Fingers on my neck.