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By the time Gon and the others had arrived at the Butler's Mansion, unbeknownst to them, Killua had already arrived. Gotoh, inspired by the tearful pleas of Kikyo, had manipulated the timeline of the four's reunion in order to gauge the potential Killua's friends himself. Deep down, Gotoh too cared deeply for Killua and wanted to assess his so-called "friends" to see if they had good intentions about the naive young master.
He didn't enjoy lying to Killua, but he had to due to Kikyo's direct orders. Surprisingly, Gotoh found nothing suspicious about Killua's three friends, especially the cheerful burgundy-eyed one in the middle. Despite Gotoh's threats, he didn't even show an ounce of animosity towards the man, something unheard of in the Zoldyck estate. He was a unique boy with extraordinary talent, perception, and courage— Gotoh could understand why Killua had adopted such a liking to the boy, his energy was contagious.
Only mere moments after the final round, Killua had impatiently entered the room on his own accord. "Gon! You're here already?!" Killua beamed in excitement as Gon turned around, the albino boy's entrance was met with equal excitement.
"Killua!" Gon cheered, almost knocking over the couch as he spun around giving the boy a wave. "You're here with....Kurapika! and uh... Liorio!" Killua pointed at the pair beside Gon as Kurapika sighed, "So we're just an afterthought?".
Leorio had screamed something about Killua butchering his name once again but he was rudely ignored.
"Hey, Gotoh! I thought I told you to tell me right away when Gon arrived!" Killua whined as the butler gave a professional smile, "We were just entertaining them with a little game." The butler explained as Gon gave an awkward laugh, affirming his words. Killua didn't seem convinced.
"Hey so, Kamine isn't with you guys?" Killua frowned, noticing the missing presence. Gotoh had told him earlier that Kamine must have been traveling with Gon since she had already been released from her contract, he didn't seem to know that the boy was currently in possession of the document himself.
"No? She isn't with you? I thought she worked here?" Gon questioned returning Killua's frown as the boy grew anxious.
"It's complicated," Killua explained as he shot Gotoh a dirty look, if Kamine wasn't with Gon then she must have already been at the estate somewhere— yet he hadn't run into her once. Gotoh must have known something, "Gotoh. Where is she?" Killua ordered as the butler awkwardly looked away.
"I'm afraid that's not within my jurisdiction to tell you." Gotoh explained as Killua growled, "I'm your master! So tell me where she is!" Killua demanded once more but Gotoh merely shook his head, "Who is telling you to hide it." Killua frowned.
"I'm afraid I cannot tell you that young master." Gotoh explained as Killua growled. A member of the Zoldyck family must be forcing Gotoh to keep quiet; a member of a higher ranking than himself. Since the rankings are based on age, the members who could keep Gotoh silent above his word would be Grandpa Zeno, whom he already saw back at the cellar and isn't the type to hide something like that from him; his father, who would've told him during their chat if he knew; his mother, who although tries to hide things from him all the time, would've tried to use Kamine's location as leverage to get him to stay earlier; Milluki who would never have the guts to double-cross him; or the most likely choice, Illumi.
"Where is Illumi?" Killua growled as Gotoh shifted, he was impressed Killua was able to deduce who had ordered him to keep silent off the minor hints he gave the boy. Killua truly was the brightest boy the Zoldyck family had to offer.
Perhaps Gotoh could give Killua just a few more hints to find the blackette female. After all, working together for seven years the butler had grown quite a soft spot for the female. For a child who had no parents, it was up to butlers like him to manage the very few needs the girl required. Thankfully, she was extremely low-maintenance and learned how to take care of herself and the young master at a very young age. Gotoh, however, still felt a sense of parental responsibility over the female and didn't enjoy seeing her suffer, especially after she had finally been released.
"He is currently away on a very dangerous solo mission, young master. I am not sure when he will be back but it will be likely a few months before he returns." Gotoh explained looking away avoiding eye contact with the boy as Killua pieced his words together.
Illumi wouldn't let Kamine roam free. If she had the ability, she would return right back to Killua's side— that's just how she was. So therefore, there were only two places Kamine could be: at the mansion or with Illumi himself— but thankfully Gotoh had eluded to the fact Kamine was not with him (that is through the "solo" part of his mission) which means Kamine was already at the estate to begin with. But not somewhere Killua could easily find her, since she needed to be in a place Killua wouldn't venture for a "few months" at a time.
Killua put the pieces together as his eyes widened. That bastard! He recognized instantly the one place he would never go no matter how badly he wanted to be alone. "He wouldn't actually-!" He hissed as he stomped out of the manor, shocking his friends as they scrambled to follow him.
"Killua?! What's wrong?" Gon questioned jumping after the boy as Killua quickly made haste, "I can't believe he would do that to her— how long has it been?!" He mumbled to no one in particular as he began to pick at his nail once again, ignoring when he bit too deep and began to bleed.
"Do you know where Kamine is?" Kurapika questioned as Killua grimaced and nodded. "It's just a hunch, but I've got a feeling about where my older brother would keep her." Killua explained as the trio sighed.
"Well, that's good! At least we can find her and bring her back." Leorio smiled as Killua growled at his words, "No! It's not good! It's not good at all! He put her in the one place I would never go no matter how badly my family wanted to punish me!" Killua yelled, "I was only in there for five minutes after I told a butler once about Allu-...." He paused grimacing as he almost made the same mistake twice, "Divulged a family secret." He corrected himself as the group looked at each other in shock.
"Only five minutes? Was it really that bad?" Kurapika questioned as Killua nodded, grimacing at the memories that erupted from it. "I couldn't sleep for months after that." He explained as the trio looked at the boy in shock. "I honestly still can't sleep that well because of it."
"What kind of place was it... if you don't mind me asking?" Leorio questioned as Killua deepened his frown.
"It's called the Hallucination Chamber. It's the worst torture device the Zoldyck family has to offer." Killua explained as the trio looked at him in shock.
"Hallucination...?" Kurapika murmured as Killua nodded.
"It's like the worst thing you could possibly think happens over and over. I was only in there for five minutes but it felt like years. Nightmares, Fears, Bad memories; nothing is off the table in there. It digs into your mind and pulls out your most vulnerable thoughts, it breaks you mentally until you turn insane." Killua explained grimly as the trio looked at him in surprise.
"They would do that to one of their own?!" Gon growled as he grew red with rage at the thought of Kamine being subjected to such torture.
"Of course, they wouldn't. Zoldyck's aren't allowed to kill each other and prolonged exposure to the hallucination room is practically homicide, so clearly that's off the table." Killua explained as he clenched his fist, "But Kamine isn't a member of the family— she's just a butler. It doesn't matter if Illumi kills her. But he wouldn't want that because if she was dead he would be able to use her as leverage against me, so instead all he wanted was to break her. So then he could mold her into the perfect strings to control me." Killua frowned as Gon growled.
"How could they do that to her!?" Gon yelled enraged. The other two seemed livid as well but their rage was nothing compared to Killua's. They didn't know her like he did.
"Kamine... please be okay." The boy whispered as he closed his eyes breaking off into a sprint as the others struggled to follow him.
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TRIGGER WARNING: Graphic Depictions of Death, Murder, Suicide, and Torture. Please read at your own discretion, the end of this chapter is not necessary to understand the plot of the story.
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Kamine could remember this sight.
It was a memory of her and Killua from a few years prior. He had just earned a brand-new yellow and red skateboard as a reward for completing a successful assassination. He didn't even bother cleaning himself off as he took the board from his father's freezing calloused hands.
He kicked the board into gear as he spun around, shooting Kamine a smile as his fingers and clothes dripped with blood. He looked so happy yet his smile never reached his eyes, although Kamine knew that it couldn't. Anyone who witnessed the death of that man, holding onto the body of his comatose daughter as he begged her life to be spared in return for his, wouldn't be able to.
It was an act of self-sacrifice; an act of true love.
It was a love Killua never experienced. Killua of course murdered him anyway due to his job, but as he did the daughter flinched. She awoke from her slumber as she stared at the boy.
Kamine blinked, she didn't remember this happening in the original memory.
The girl's blurry blue eyes filled with tears as she stared at the boy who stood lifelessly over her father's body.
"F-Father?!" The girl screamed as she stared at the albino boy. "Y-You murdered him! W-why?!" She grabbed her father's corpse, sobbing as she held the warm body close to her.
"Please no more... don't do this...!" She pleaded as the boy took a threatening step closer, "Don't hurt me, please! Just leave us alone! Y-You.... you monster!"
As she spoke, her words blended in with Kamine's own as she found herself in the female's position, holding Killua's lifeless body in her arms as his terrifying older brother stood over them. "K-Killua?!" Kamine winced holding the boy, checking his pulse. Her eyes widened as she struggled to process her reality, his body was cold and lifeless. He was dead.
Illumi glared down at her with vengeful eyes, "You failed. You killed him. This is all your fault." She gasped as she shuddered in fear, holding the albino boy just a little closer. Guilt clawed at her throat as burning tears began to stream down her face.
Illumi stood ominously above her, his lifeless eyes finally showing a real emotion-- rage as he looked down at her. She was paralyzed with fear as the boy unsheathed three large needles pointing them at her. She gasped, "Please don't--!" She wasn't able to finish speaking as the feeling of needles piercing into her head left her screaming.
She screamed as the pain quickly dissipated, waking her up aggressively as the young master stood beside her confused. "K-Kamine?! What happened? Why did you scream?" Killua questioned, pressing a hand to the female's forehead as she looked at him in shock. Her heart was beating out of her chest as she flinched at his touch.
The boy who just moments ago was lying lifelessly in her arms was now sitting across from her, his snowy white brows etched in concern as he stared at the female. A singular tear rolled down her cheek at the sight of the once-dead boy, "You look pale. I hope you're alright..." He muttered. He didn't seem to notice her tears Kamine looked away, finding it difficult to make direct eye contact with the boy.
She couldn't believe that she had just dreamt such a thing. It felt so real it was making her skin crawl just thinking about it.
"We still have the final phase to go, remember? We have the tournament before we can get our Hunters License." Killua explained.
Kamine looked up at the boy as she gave a small hum, she could remember that... the Hunters tournament. Although for some reason she could've sworn she had already passed the Hunter exam... however, the more she thought about it the blurrier her memories became.
Killua grabbed her hand as she felt as if she was being led around in a delirious fog. Killua's hand eventually slipped from hers as she forced herself to focus once again.
She must not have been paying attention because by the time she came to, Gon and Killua were already battling each other in a match. It was the final match in the exam and both sides were determined to win.
Killua with his superior strength and experience finally managed to overtake the springy blackette as he choked out a surrender. Killua smiled as he offered his friend a hand up. Kamine clapped, getting lost in the game.
They both fought valiantly for the win— Killua had earned a well-deserved victory. But right as Gon reached up to grab his hand he instead lodged it in the center of Killua's chest, twisting it as the albino boy spat out blood.
"G-Gon?! W-Why?!" Killua coughed flopping to the side lifelessly as the seemingly innocent blackette boy stood murderously over the boy's corpse.
Kamine couldn't process what she was watching as a feeling of dread resurfaced in her chest, "N-No... not again..." Kamine mumbled as she pressed her hands to her mouth. She couldn't even bring herself to speak as the sound of clapping interrupted her thoughts.
The room cheered for him as if they all wished for Killua's death, "Yeah Gon! You showed him!" Leorio cheered as Kamine looked at the man in shock. Beside her, another blonde cheered, "Give that murderer what he deserves!" Kurapika encouraged as Kamine felt the urge to throw up.
The sight of the once-innocent blackette boy whom she adored standing menacingly over Killua's lifeless corpse left a bitter taste in her mouth as she felt a chill roll down her spine.
She felt herself burn with rage as Gon looked over at her, giving her a murderous smile. She could barely imagine such a look on the boy's face. It was so unlike him, so not Gon.
Her eyes burned with hatred as she exploded at the boy, "How dare you!" She screamed, the sickening feeling of betrayal leaving tears falling down her face as she quickly decapitated the boy watching as his body flopped to the ground. Not even feeling a hit of remorse as his blood pooled on the floor.
"How could you kill him?!" She swore she had spoken those words herself, but instead, she had heard those words repeated back at her as she turned around.
Killua was staring at her in disbelief as she stood dangerously over Gon's fresh corpse. She furrowed her brows before snapping her head to the floor. Killua's body was nowhere to be found while instead, all that lay below her was the headless body of the cheerfully optimistic boy she once knew.
Kamine winced, her memories blurring. She couldn't even remember why she was mad at Gon in the first place. Everything was becoming hazy as memories seemed to become an emotional rollercoaster for realities and not-realities.
Her heart began to swirl with guilt as the sight of Killua's distraught gaze felt like needles stabbing directly into her heart.
"Killua-! It's not what it looks like!" Kamine took a step back, cringing when her shoe sloshed around in the boy's blood. "I trusted you!" The albino cried as he stared at her in rage, "He was my only friend! How could you take that away from me?!" Killua screamed as Leorio and Kurapika appeared behind him, both also mourning the loss of the optimistic adventurer. She trembled, Killua had never been so upset at her before.
"I didn't mean to! He-... He-...!" Kamine fumbled around with her words, she clearly remember being filled with rage at his cocky smile but couldn't remember what had possessed her to kill the boy in the first place.
"I don't need you anymore." Killua determined as he manipulated his hand, having it grow sharp as he plunged it into her chest. The pain was unbearable, both emotionally and physically, as he slowly twisted out her heart, "You're dead to me." He muttered as her vision went black.
She woke up again, however, her memory forgetting the events that occurred just prior as the emotions lingered.
She coughed as she finally felt herself able to breathe, collapsing on the floor as the uncomfortable feeling of raindrops poured onto her figure. She noticed she was on the roof of a building as the water pounded the cold cement tiles.
She was alive again, although she was sure she just died twice. Her head began to pound as she began to cry, the rain thankfully masking her tears as she bit her lip. Whatever nightmare she was trapped in she just wanted it to end, what had she done to deserve such torment?
She shivered from the cold before looking up.
She felt almost dizzy at the sight of the familiar boy she would do anything for veering dangerously close to the edge of the platform. Her adrenaline spiked, "Killua!" She called out to him in shock, if he fell from that height he would die.
"Kamine... you're here..." He turned around, his voice cold and apprehensive as he looked at her. Kamine's eyes widened, she had never heard him sound so desolate before.
His eyes lacked any emotion, they were simply deep dark swirling pits of anguish as he gave her an uneasy laugh.
"Out of all people... I wish I didn't have to see you here." Killua gave a self-deprecating chuckle as he looked at the girl. "You were so nice to me, far nicer than I ever deserved. You were the only person who cared about me, you protected and cared for me." He explained, looking the girl directly in the eyes.
She looked up at the undeniably handsome boy as she noticed how, despite the pouring rain, he still looked as perfect as ever, the rain only masking the tears that she was sure were streaming down his face.
Her face felt warm as she was sure her heart rate had begun to pick up speed, probably from anxiety she presumed. "I'm sorry, Kamine. But I'm so tired... I can't keep this up anymore." Killua sighed as the girl's eyes shrank in horror, forcing herself to move her feet as she raced towards the boy.
"Killua-! Please! Don't do it!" She gasped as she chased after the boy. No matter how hard she ran it was like the distance between the two of them was endless.
He gave her a soft smile as an ounce of emotion flickered in his eyes. "Goodbye. Kamine." He muttered as he fell backward falling to his demise as Kamine finally reached the edge, just a second too late as she missed the boy.
Her fingertips brushed against his as she watched him in terror, "Please don't go!" She screamed as bitter tears fell down her eyes. She heard a deafening crunch as his small frame made contact with the ground below. The sound was appalling as it rang endlessly in her ears, "Please don't leave me-..." Her voice was fragile and distraught, "Killua!".
Water began to into her lungs as she gagged. Two sets of hands were painfully grasping her shoulders as she felt pushed over and over into the freezing liquid. She coughed as she felt her tormentors finally stop their harassment, shocked when she recognized the owners.
It was Gon and Killua who were tormenting her. Her heart ached as she wondered why the pair was doing this to her. "Please stop this..." She cried hopelessly. It seemed as if she was talking about the waterboarding, no— she could handle a little bit of torture. In reality, she was speaking more broadly, she wanted all of this to stop, the dying, the killing, the pain, the torture, all of it. She couldn't remember any of the events that had occurred just moments prior but her body could physically feel the sensation of death taking her over again and again.
She must have been trapped in some sick nightmare, one she couldn't escape by herself. So she let her tears fall as the boys laughed, pushing her back into the water once more. She pleaded for the pain to stop, for Killua to come and wake her up, even if he had to electrocute her to do it. Anything was better than this.
She began to feel sick as water rushed into her throat for the umpteenth time.
They knew she hated the water and boats, she always got sick whenever she couldn't touch land. Being in the water reminded her of the pressure...
A dulcet melody rang in her ears as she felt herself surrounded by a warm viscous liquid. The melody vibrated throughout her small home as it was suddenly interrupted by the sound of muffle screams.
The female winced as she felt her body rocked around, punches and pressure injuring her incredibly small frame as she squirmed in pain. The pain was unbearable and lasted for minutes at a time before she realized she had to escape.
Cracking her fingers she ripped a hole through the wall of her home, surprised her when she stood over the mangled corpse of Kikyo furrowing her brows as she knew something was wrong with this picture.
"What have you done?!" Silva screamed as she turned to face the man she had harbored immense respect for all these years. Surrounded by him were the remaining Zoldyck family members staring at her in shock as she just murdered the female head of the household.
She didn't even care when they hurled insults at her.
They subjected her to torture. For some reason, she was more immune to it this time, the whips, burning, and waterboarding barely affecting her as she found herself tied to a chair.
She looked up as Illumi stood over her, his needles hovering dangerously close to her eyes, "Upon these eyes of thine I'll set my foot." The pain was excruciating as she felt the man's needles slowly pierce into her retinas.
Kamine choked out in pain as she felt herself slam the book closed. Killua was staring at her curiously as he munched on his favorite Choco-Robos. Oh, that was right. Kamine was just reading a book, her memories produced.
Her fingers felt numb, she could still feel the tingling of her nail beds from when Milluki had ripped her nails off seemingly moments prior. Her head began to pound as the feeling of needles stabbing into her eyes became a familiar occurrence.
Killua looked at her with disinterest as he whistled softly. Her heart felt heavy, a small part of her was so relieved to see Killua instead of the angered faces of the other members of the family torturing her, yet she knew this moment of peace was too good to be true.
"This is so boring. Let's go do something fun." Killua whined as he placed his head on the table. Kamine sighed, trying not to make her trembling hands noticeable as she placed the book back on the shelf.
"Where would you like to go?" She questioned as the boy smiled at her. Within moments she felt herself dragged out of the Zoldyck estate and into the dark alleyways of a nearby city. She didn't even fight it as she let herself be dragged away by the energetic boy, there was no point in fighting it after all.
Killua had let go of her hand as he went to investigate a shop nearby. Kamine paused as she grew focused on the small black and white cat nearby, the cat warmed up to her as it cutely ran across the female's legs. She almost smiled, she truly did have a soft spot for furry creatures.
The cat purred as she scratched his neck surprised when she noticed a small black collar adorned on the cat.
"A collar?" She questioned as the room shifted. Her head was forced for the floor as a tight pressure around her neck pulled her around.
"That's right. I purchased your contract, it appears you're my assistant now." A menacing voice chuckled behind her as she recognized its owner instantly. The malicious pink-haired jester stood over her as she felt her heart drop to the floor. She could've laughed at the irony; just when she foolishly believed she had already experienced the worst.
"Where is Killua?!" She demanded. Her voice came out more feebly than she expected as the clown simply clicked his tongue at her impudence. "We'll have to work on that attitude of yours. I don't know why you're still clinging to that white-haired brat. Isn't it clicking by now? He sold you." Hisoka explained as the girl grimaced.
The girl felt her sanity slowly slip away as her reality only grew more and more distorted from there. Kamine frowned as she found herself in her latest vision, back in Killua's bedroom. The boy was complaining to her about something, she couldn't be bothered to care.
Her head tilted to the side, her purple eyes settled on a small picture frame across the room as she frowned. There was no picture in the frame, yet Kamine knew that couldn't be right.
She remembered it was there, burgundy edges and a white frame, but she couldn't remember ever seeing what was inside the picture frame— perhaps she had never looked at it.
The more she focused the blurrier the frame became, making it almost impossible to determine the contents of the picture. Her eyes began to sear as she ignored the pain; it was nothing compared to the pain of Illumi gouging out her eyes with his needles.
As she did that, the picture frame began to fade, like TV static. However it wasn't just the picture frame that began to fade, the entire room faded, the bookshelf, the bed, the shaggy black rug, even Killua whose face began to fade out of focus as she found herself staring into an empty spot on the floor.
It appears the entire room was an illusion as she looked down at her feet. She was sure she was standing in her vision but instead, she was simply sitting in a chair. She tried to stand but her body didn't respond— it was like her body and mind were disconnected as two separate units as she stared daggers into her legs.
In doing so she felt her toe twitch before she willed herself to move. By looking at her real legs it was almost like she remembered how to use them, only falling when her weak, unused muscles collapsed on her when she applied her whole body weight to them.
By becoming apparent to the status of her real body, it became apparent how ravenous she was— she must have not eaten in days. She pushed herself up as the tension in her head by maintaining her vision suddenly stopped. A door had creaked open revealing two familiar boys staring at her as she gave them an uneasy smile. It appears she was being cursed with another vision, despite her efforts.
She gave a small, hopeless chuckle as she looked at the duo, "Hello again, Killua."
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-* notes *-
#63 - Kamine has been trapped in the Hallucination Chamber for seven days.
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