A request from and originally on Tumblr: (F reader grew up with Ramonda and was her absolute best friend, and had the biggest crush on her. But Ramonda was promised to TChaka, and so reader joined the Dora, finally rising through the ranks until she could be Ramondas personal bodyguard. They were still best friends, and one day, after TChaka dies, Ramondas life is threatened, and reader takes a blow in her defense, nearly losing her own. She accidentally confesses her feelings to Ramonda as she lays in the medical center. )
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"Ramonda; my dearest friend,my heart's desire. The day I get to hold you in my arms in the way that I truly want, is the day I will be truly fulfilled" - Written by 16-year-old You
The atmosphere that your body had created in the room was unsettling. Your anxiety radiated off of your body and surrounded you along with the area around you. You ate your breakfast, nervous thoughts popping up in your head as you sat contemplating your love confession to Ramonda.
What if she rejected you? Or what if she completely lashed out at you and refused to be your friend anymore? Your fixation on the matter was making you grow more doubtful of the idea, but it was far too late to back down. It had been long enough.
Having known each other since before you were even in pre-school, you and Ramonda were were the best of friends. You experienced living and growing up together, and there had never been anything that could break the two of you apart.
For the past 2 years, however, you'd been struggling with your feelings for Ramonda, and how they had changed from platonic feelings to that of romantic interest.
Simple things that used to be normal between the two of you, felt completely different. When the two of you would be gazing up at the stars at night right by the river, and she would lay her head on top of your chest, your heart would instantly start racing, and your whole body would go rigid, you face rushing with blood, embarrassing you even though she couldn't see it.
You knew after the 6 month mark that it wasn't a phase. You were in love with your best friend and you had no clue what to do about it. It was exactly like the age-old television drama scenario. And now you had to question; would she like you back or would you lose your best friend because she didn't feel the same way. The latter option kept repeating in your head.
The likelihood of her feeling the way you did felt slim to you, and you had little hope that your love was requited. But you'd been simmering on these feelings more desperately for a year, and they weren't going away.
As you sat at the table, you couldn't help but feel like it was time. Maybe the day out with her would be relaxing and you would find the strength within you to tell her about your feelings and it would actually tell her.
It was risky, and your stomach dropping at the idea of it all didn't give you much reassurance, but you were going to do it. Just as you were finishing, your father walked into the kitchen, greeting you.
"Y/n, I need you to take these with you when you go to see Ramonda today. Her mother has requested them." He said, handing you a basket full of fabric.
You nodded, questioning why Ramonda's mother would need dress fabric when she didn't sew and more importantly, why your father had the fabrics in the first place.
Regardless of those questions, you took it with you as you went to her house. It wasn't very far away, so you were there in less than 10 minutes. You didn't knock on the door before entering, not even being afraid of getting into trouble with Ramonda's mother for it again.
Lumumba was scary when she was upset and she yelled at you many times for not knocking when entering her home, but she loved you like her own daughter so her lectures often flew over your head.
"Molweni ekuseni, nonke (Good Morning, everyone)." You said happily as you entered the home, being graced with the presence of the entire family at the table except Ramonda.
"Molo, Y/n. (Hello, Y/n)." They all said in unison.
You put the basket down next to you, settling down next to them in your designated seat.
"Are those from your father?" Lumumba asked. Your nod confirmed her suspicions.
"Tell him thank you." She said, You nodded once again.
After a few minutes of silence, you asked. "Where's Ramonda?"
"She's out right now but she should be back before the afternoon. You can stay in her room while you wait." That was strange to you, because your best friend wasn't one to be out and about so early. You and her were more night owls than anything else.
You stood up and went into her room, sitting on her bed as you waited. It was her voice that woke you up. She shook you and you opened your eyes, smiling as you looked at her beautiful face.
"How long have you been here?" She asked.
"Since the late morning."
You looked at her in full focus now, and she was fully dressed up, like she had just come back from a special event. You looked her up and down a few times, then you made eye contact again.
She looked at herself for a moment, realising what you were looking at, "I'll explain later. Let's go."
And with that you both left her home.
The day was supposed to be fairly uneventful. You were going to your usual hideout in the mountains and stay up there until the night came.
The mountain had been where you went for since you were kids. When the two of you were around ten, you had run away together. Like most kids, you didn't last very long away before returning home, but you'd made it to the mountains that hid the real Wakanda from the world, just outside of Jabari Land.
For the 8 years following that, you had built and renovated a small house-like cave in one mountain and it had become your place together. It grew with you, your style and interests changing over the years. At the beginning, it was a cluttered mess of your toys and games; the walls decorated in posters on top of posters.
Now it was much more mature. There were two chairs that laid in the centre of the cave, while the natural hooks on the walls of the cave were used as shelves, storing the things you used regularly there. The walls were also a lot more bare. The placement of the chairs was perfect for looking out into the sky and land view, and that's what you did most of the time. It was a place where the two of you could escape.
The walk there this time was tense, your mutual silence being anything but comfortable. You could feel that Ramonda had something to tell you, and you were more sure than not that it had something to do with her earlier attire. But you didn't bring it up, choosing to take the rest of the voyage up the mountain in more silence.
When you reached the top and sat down, Ramonda let out a relieved sigh, sitting in your seat just to annoy you. Usually, you would have said something sparky about her doing so, but you were so caught up in your own thoughts about your pending confession that you just turned and took her seat with a smile.
The two of you remained quiet for some time. Ramonda fiddled with your fingers while you looked out into the sky, hoping for her to start the conversation.
"I need to tell you something." She finally declared.
"Okay."
She paused again. Hesitant to continue. You nodded your head, encouraging her to go on.
She breathed in, "I was with the royal family this morning."
"For political reasons?"
"In a sense, yes. But not completely." She explained. You looked away from the view, looking directly at her.
She was nervous, her mouth twitching as a result. "The prince and I had our first official private meeting. It is going to be the first of many, Y/n."
You hadn't caught onto what she was trying to say yet, you head searching for answers but not finding any.
"I've been promised to him, Y/n." She said, finally making you frown in realisation.
"As in a forced marriage." You stated more than asked.
She shook her head, hesitating once more. "I have agreed to start courting him now, but in a few years, when we are a little bit older, we will marry. It's more arranged than forced."
Your eyes grew wide and your body became stiff and still as it all settled in. Your Ramonda was going to be the future Queen of Wakanda. That was amazing. But she would be married to T'Chaka. And she'd leave the River Tribe and join the Golden Tribe.
"Y/n. Do you have something to say?"
Now it was you who shook your head.
"I just told you that I am going to be marrying the future king in a few years. You have nothing to say to that."
"No."
Your eyes grew glossy, and all you could do was pray to Bast that she couldn't see your clear heartbreak. Wiping your nose from instinct, "No, I'm happy for you, Ramonda."
She scoffed, knowing how you only wiped your nose when you were lying, "It doesn't look like it."
You tried again. "No, really I am." You laughed through the pain. "I always knew you'd be the queen of something. Who knew it would be the whole country."
She was still sceptical, but her tone grew softer and she chopped your previous emotion to the shock pf it all.
"Should I start calling you, my queen?" You joked.
"Let's not rush into titles." She smiled.
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You slammed the door shut, entering your home again in a frustrated and manic state. You weren't sure who was home, but it was late enough for you to presume that everyone was in bed already.
The tears from previously came up again, and your throat tightened. Out of all of the outcomes that you had predicted, another person blocking you from confessing your feelings had never even come into the equation. You felt completely blindsided.
What angered you was her keeping it secret for so long. If their supposed courting was arranged from a promise, then she must have known about it for at least 6 months, if not a year or two. Her family wouldn't hide something like that from her.
Clearly all of them were willing to lie to you though.
You were caught up in your love for a year and she had been lying to you the whole time. This wouldn't have even mattered had you not already fallen. But you had fallen. Hard.
Now she would eventually move far away from the River Village, all the way to the palace where you probably wouldn't be able to see her much without travelling a whole distance.
Every attempt to stop the tears only made them worse and before you knew it the sound of your breakdown was echoing throughout your house walls, holding the potential to wake anyone up. Footsteps echoed towards you and you cursed internally for the noise you had created.
"Y/n?" Came your father's voice. His large figure appearing in your vision.
He wore the same pair of tacky pyjamas that you had gotten him for fathers day as a child, something he cherished entirely too much.
His work as a War Dog gave him an intimidating physique, but he was soft in personality. It was a strange sight to many, but to you it was just the man that raised you being himself.
He got to you and wrapped himself around you, embracing you in a comforting hug as you let your emotions run wild. You muttered curses and a few vulgar things in all the languages you knew, some that even your father couldn't translate. You let your eyes go blood red from the tears.
You stayed standing in that hug until your tears had subsided, only then did you shift yourselves to your bedroom, where you sat on the edge of your bed side by side as you leaned against him.
"We don't have to talk, but if you need anything, Y/n. Tell me." he said. It was something he said whenever you cried. Your only job in his eyes was to tell him what you needed and it would be done.
Barely giving yourself time to think your request through, "Father, I need you to train me so that I can become a Dora." You said after settling down.
"You've never taken interest in being a part of the Dora Milaje. What brings this new interest?"
You looked away now, not wanting to admit to the spur of the moment idea that you had only just decided on seconds before.
He was right, you had never taken interest in becoming a part of the Adored Ones, and many people had asked you about it. You were built quite strong already, regularly working out with your father for most of your life giving you the gift of a great body.
The Captain, who trained new Doras had asked you to become one when you were 16 on numerous occasions but you had declined.
However, now that Ramonda was going to be a Royal family member, there was actually someone you cared to protect there. You liked T'Chaka and his family, but Ramonda was a much more rewarding person to protect.
You gave your father a shortened version of this explanation.
"Things have changed, Baba. Are you willing to help me?"
"Anything for my daughter." He responded, giving you his signature smile of assurance .
You mirrored that smile, being grateful for his constant blind support.
"Thank you, Baba."
He sighed, allowing you to get into bed, clothes and jewellery still on and all, while he went back to sleep. You went to bed with a completely new life plan, not having a clue what you were going to do about your feelings, but at least knowing that you would be staying close to Ramonda.
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Ramonda could feel the shift in your character that day. How you had grown more hostile towards her, even if only subtly. How you were less comfortable sharing physical contact with her in any form.
Hand holding was a staple to your friendship for years, and that day you hadn't put out your hand for her to take like usual. Regret started to fill her body when she realised that her initial plan to ease you into the situation slowly had failed completely.
Why had she waited so long?
She couldn't even answer that question.
For a while she thought it was because the event wasn't that major, so there was no need to tell you yet. But, after the day had ended, she knew that that was far from the reason. Becoming the prince's wife was going to be a big event. And she knew that.
Sitting down to ponder on her decisions, she couldn't help but start to feel like there was an emotional barrier that had prevented her from telling you. The problem was that she wasn't sure what the emotions were.
Your friendship felt like something close, like something more than just a friendship, but the denial was so deeply sewn in, Ramonda refused to acknowledge it.
Others who saw the two of you would call it a sisterhood, but you and her constantly felt weird when people called it that. It didn't feel like you were family. At least, not in the way that others thought it looked.
Of course you had been the only one to delve deeper into your dynamic and realise that the friendship had more of a romantic resemblance than a familial one.
Ramonda had yet to pick apart the way that the two of you behaved around each other. That is why she hadn't fought very hard when her mother informed her that she was to wed the future king.
She had happily gotten into her best clothing and gone to the palace to meet T'Chaka and his family more formally. The teens already knew each other, from their families having close relations, but there was always an official meeting that needed to take place in these situations.
T'Chaka was kind, and charming and he seemed to actually care about making Ramonda comfortable, which made her feel like the situation was perfect for her. She wasn't going to lie and say that she didn't feel a spark with him. There was definitely chemistry there.
But the memories of the nice morning meeting soured when the rest of the day's encounters didn't go as sweetly.
Ramoda struggled to sleep that night, not sure why she was even truly conflicted.
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Her beads buzzed the next day, and she tiredly checked what it was.
It was a message from you: Meet me at the mountain.
She didn't take a second glance, getting ready and leaving her home in the early morning.
Dawn had barely arrived when she got to your spot, and she was still a bit sluggish. Ramonda was really not a morning person, and you knew that, but you couldn't wait to tell her your news.
You exchanged pleasantries, and she sat in her chair, waiting for you to define what was on today's agenda.
"I made a decision yesterday." You said, rubbing your hands together awkwardly. Once you noticed your nervous habit creeping in you made your hands into temporary fists, before releasing them and taking a deep breath to reset.
Ramonda didn't say anything, just waiting for you to continue.
"My father is going to help me train and I'm going to become a Dora."
Ramonda raised an eyebrow, "Why can't you just train with the regular trainees? Why are you also going to train with your father?"
Luckily you were prepared for that question.
"I want to be the best at it. Maybe climb a few ranks by the time we're 25." You explained.
She nodded in understanding. Even though she didn't understand the sudden desire to be a part of the Dora Milaje, she didn't ask you about it.
"That will be nice. We'll both be at the palace." She smiled as she woke up more, and you talked about the possibilities.
"I can see it right now. Y/n, General of the Dora Milaje." She continued, causing you to let out a stiff chuckle.
"And everyday I'll greet you by saying, My Queen." You brought out the nickname again.
She rolled her eyes but did not argue, "and I'll call you, My warrior."
Your heart fluttered at that. You liked that name, especially when it came out of her mouth.
The two of you continued on that route and yesterday's bad news seemed a lot less sad by the end of it. You knew that your feelings were going to affect you, but you just wanted to take it one problem at a time.
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For the years that came after that, you did exactly what you had set out to do.
You trained heavily with both the Dora Milaje and your father, and in less than a few months, you were a part of the Dora Milaje. Your training intensified as time went on, and your dedication to the job was heavily praised and acknowledged by both the royal family, and your fellow sisters.
You moved to the Golden City 6 months after that, the voyage from the River Village to the Palace being far too large for you to take everyday. You said your goodbyes on an emotional day, thanking your father for his help, while tears flooded both of your faces.
You promised to visit once a week and although your family insisted that that was too much and would put a strain on you, you kept that promise. You went to stay the night every Friday after work and you'd leave in the middle of the next Saturday, going back to work once again.
Ramonda moved into the Palace a year later, and the engagement between her and T'Chaka was announced. You struggled to but forced yourself to go to the engagement celebration, meeting T'Chaka as Ramonda's best friend, though the two of you had been working together for 4 months at that point.
You grew a slow liking for him. Seeing how well he treated her, and how happy she was.
He respected your close relationship with her and never interfered in it, which you appreciated.
Ramonda and you stayed just as close, and you were right beside her on the day of her wedding, wearing your best dress as you handed her to the one she truly loved. You left early that day, claiming that you didn't feel well. Which you didn't. You ran home that day. Confiding in your father as he comforted you.
"Let it out, my child." He said as you cried that night. And you did exactly that.
You stayed there for the week, needing to be with your Tribe, even though you were technically now part of the Golden Tribe. The River was your true home, and nothing would change that.
Returning the next week, you put in all of your energy into your work as an Adored One. You became the Captain in the 3 months following that. And less than a year later, you were the general. You became the youngest general in recent history, leading the group at the ripe age of 21.
T'Chaka became the Black Panther only a few years after that, and the title of King didn't come very long after that.
The two of you grew closer, more for Ramonda's sake than anything, but you did create a friendship of your own. You worked well together and the two of you ended up having a brother-sister kind of relationship. You were similar in that you were both sometimes quite reckless at work sometimes.
Ramonda would reprimand the both of you for taking unnecessary risks on missions but you never seemed to stop.
"It's like the two of you are on a constant mission of risking your lives everytime you leave." She would huff as she fixed either of your wounds. Her words never stopped you though, as you were so high on your title and obligations.
The high of it all only got to you again when Ramonda announced that she was pregnant.
Your reaction was better than at the wedding, as you stayed there the entire time, only retreating to the River Village on your regular Friday afternoon.
You kept your sorrow inside the entire time, only showing love and support to the couple.
At the time, your father was used to you crumbling into yourself whenever you came over, so he was ready.
You took only the night though, and you were soon back in the palace celebrating the news like everyone else.
The thought of becoming a war dog, just to be away from it all, crossed your mind a lot but you chose to just stick it out.
When Prince T'Challa was born you couldn't help but love him. He looked just like Ramonda to you and you loved being around him.
Watching Ramonda and T'Chaka raise him brought you a lot of joy, though you knew that it would never be you there.
You acted like a second mother to him, and he treated you as such but as he grew older, the questions about your lack of a romantic companion or your own children became more frequent.
"Ma," He would call you, "Why don't you have any kids?"
You would play with his hair and tickle him as you answered. "You are the only child I need right now." And he wouldn't ask much for a while after that.
The one thing noticed by all though was your need to be the greatest had heightened. All you did when you weren't with T'Challa and Ramonda was train.
If you weren't hurting yourself trying to prove yourself on a mission, you were hurting yourself trying to prove yourself in training.
Ramonda would yell at you and complain whenever she saw a new unhealed wound on you, but your behaviour never changed.
After almost 2 decades being the General, your commitment was recognized with many awards and you were also assigned a much less tasking job. You were to be Ramonda's personal guard, and you were to be with her at all times, to protect her.
Conveniently enough, this was when she became pregnant with her second child, so it was perfect timing. T'Challa was grown up, and his training had started. You were still a mentor to him, and you regularly trained not only him, but the new Dora Milaje trainees.
You were a legend then, to say the least. Your life journey fighting to protect the royal family being plastered everywhere.
By the time Princess Shuri was born, you were more than confident that you'd fulfilled what you had to.
You didn't need a spouse, or kids of your own. You had plenty of family, all around you. And although your feelings never truly went away. You were content with what your life had given you.
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2 years post T'Chaka's death
You and Ramonda walked into the American conference room, looking around to see the growing number of representatives arriving for yet another conference where Wakanda's vibranium was to be a topic of conversation.
T'Challa, being not only king, but the Black Panther, couldn't make it to this meeting, and Ramonda was quick to dismiss his worries of missing the event and offered her help by taking his place and reporting what happened back to him when she was done.
You, her bodyguard, were obligated to be there, for her protection.
Even though Ramonda was adamant that it was safe enough at a meeting like this, you stayed close by her, feeling wary and suspicious of everyone who approached.
There just seemed to be something off about the whole thing. How they called this meeting when Wakanda had been operating very well with protocol.
You had been just as reluctant to share the truth about Wakanda's true power, your head siding more with T'Chaka's reasoning behind keeping it safe. But, T'Challa was so convinced that this was the way that things needed to go, and your heart supported him fully, so you didn't argue but rather just helped him as much as you could.
You travelled to new outreach centres regularly when your duties for Ramonda were less necessary or when she insisted you leave her to be alone.
You gave T'Challa advice when he asked for it and you kept your mouth shut when your opinions weren't needed. But now, it just felt like some parts of the world were getting greedy, and the more Wakanda gave to them, the more they asked for.
This is why you stood so rigid, your spear in close proximity to your hands just in case anything happened. You scanned the room as Ramonda exchanged pleasantries with the representatives of the other countries.
Most of them you had seen before, and some of their assistants and guards even looked familiar, but there were a few new faces around.
Just as the meeting was about to begin, you spotted a suspicious woman hovering by the door. She looked extremely familiar to you, but you couldn't decipher the reason why. You knew that you'd never seen her specifically before.
You glared at her as people spoke, and Ramonda looked at you with a worried expression for the majority of the meeting but it was only when the meeting came to a halftime break when you said something.
"Do you see that woman there?" You pointed at the woman as discreetly as possible. Ramonda nodded.
"She has been hovering by that door since we arrived. She's not with a representative, that's one thing I know." You said.
"What are you insinuating?"
You became stumped again. You weren't really sure what you were insinuating.
If you were to outwardly declare that the woman was a threat, without having even spoken to her, you could just be accusing an innocent bystander of being a major threat. That wouldn't be fair to her. Mostly because she had yet to actually do anything besides hover.
On the other hand though, you had a bad hunch about her, and your hunches were never wrong.
Seeing that you couldn't answer her question, Ramonda sighed and directed you to look at her.
"Look, My warrior. I get that your Dora senses are creeping in but I'll tell you if I need your protection."
You nodded begrudgingly, silently lying so you could keep eyeing the woman out.
When the meeting commenced, you couldn't help but keep looking at that woman.
Something was strange about her. The bag she was carrying looked heavy. Abnormally heavy.
"Y/n." Ramonda whispered. "Stop staring."
You averted your gaze for a few seconds, deciding to look more around her than at her.
Something wasn't adding up. You squinted, looking closer to see that she had something small in her unoccupied hand.
Ramonda let out a fake cough to get your attention again. You looked her way for only a brief second, dismissing her with your hand as you looked more at the bag.
There was a wire coming out of the bag, and the wire led to the wall, where it was attached to more split wires that ran up the walls.
They were almost invisible, but you could tell that there was a lot of them.
What in Bast's name was this woman plotting?
You turned your gaze back to her, examining her face again. Then it hit you.
She looked exactly like Ulysses Klaue, the one that Erik had killed two years ago. They were almost identical, down to the same look of revenge.
"Ramonda. Get down." You commanded, taking your spear out. Ramonda looked at you confused. "Ramonda, I said GET DOWN!"
"What's happening?!" Asked a representative on the left, looking at you making a scene.
4 seconds passed before an explosion happened. Every inch of the room lit on fire.
Screaming followed as everyone was knocked onto the ground with great impact.
You hit your head hard, and your vision became blurry as you looked for her. Where was your Queen?
"Ramonda!" You yelled, looking around for her.
"RAMONDA!"
Successfully finding your spear, you stood up onto the unstable podium to search for her. People were fleeing, and your ears were useless. Your vision cleared up slightly, and your eyes landed on the woman.
Her hands reached down for the bag, and she took out a machine that you could tell almost instantly was made of vibranium.
Her aim was towards the left. Towards Ramonda.
Ramonda was getting up, looking around in a daze and she wasn't fully aware of what was going on. Before you could think, you jumped down towards the woman, running your spear towards her.
As you jumped and lodged your spear straight through her chest, you felt the impact of three sharp shots coming, straight through you, followed by a final shot that left you on the floor, unconscious.
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"Y/N!" Ramonda screamed out as she saw you get shot and impaled 4 times.
She rushed to your side, stumbling over the broken objects that laid on the floor. When she reached you, she nearly collapsed seeing you.
Your body was severely hurt, the vibranium from the weapon causing a lot of damage.
Ramonda's mind went blank, and she didn't remember much of what happened next.
She remembered screaming for help, and pressing her beads to get someone to get a quinjet to the two of you.
The next thing she knew, T'Challa was there in a Black Panther suit, and Okoye was ripping your spear out of the woman's chest.
She came back to reality when T'Challa lifted you into his arms screaming, "We have to get her to Shuri!"
She followed quickly, and the ride back to Wakanda was longer than any cross trip had ever felt. It wasn't actually that long, as the quinjets speed was far more advanced than any other aircraft on Earth.
Shuri was prepared as soon as your body arrived, having a group of Wakanda's best doctors there with her.
You were taken to the lab, and while Ramonda herself needed to be examined, she was fighting everyone in her way to get to you.
"She is losing too much blood, Shuri!" Ramonda yelled as Dora Milaje tried to constrain her to stay away from you.
She was stressing the young girl out. And her statement only made things worse. Now Shuri paid attention to the blood on her hands, and how much of it was coming out.
"Mother, you must let them help her without interfering!" T'Challa spoke, trying to get Ramonda to calm down.
"I AM NOT LEAVING HER!"
"You have to Mother!" He yelled.
Shuri looked at your mother in shock, having never seen her yell like that.
The sound of your heart rate dropping to zero is what got the attention back on you.
"She's going into Cardiac Arrest!" Shuri panicked, looking at your dying body.
She immediately started CPR. Trying to get oxygen back into your body. After using both your beads for shock waves and her arms for chest compressions and still not results, she became worried. Tears filled her eyes and she tried to revive your lifeless body.
Ramonda was finally taken outside, fighting off both Okoye and the 3 others that it took to take her to just outside the lab.
"NOOOOOO!" She screamed, kicking and fighting with all of her might, until she finally collapsed on the floor.
The Dora wrapped her in a tight;y gripped hold on the floor, mostly to stop her from getting up but also to get her to calm down.
Her voice grew raw as she yelled out your name.
"Let me GO!" She directed the demand towards Okoye, who she knew would relent to her command easier than the others.
"My Queen, Please. We can not risk you going back there."
"I won't! Just let me go!" Ramonda cried out.
Ramonda felt the words tear through her like a knife. Slowly letting go of the queen, Okoye commanded the others to do the same.
Ramonda laid on the floor, praying that you weren't with the ancestors yet. That you were still with her.
She couldn't handle your death right now. Or ever. You were everything to her. You were a part of her, and if you were gone, so was a large part of her. She listened for the noises coming from the lab, though the sound proofing feature made it impossible.
In the lab, your heart had started beating again, and Shuri was now working on your wounds.
Her mother's pleads rang through her head.
"She's losing too much blood, Shuri!"
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"Mother. She is alive." Shuri struggled to look down at her mother's broken figure on the outside of the lab.
Ramonda looked up, eyes red and still crying.
What Shuri had expected was a sigh of relief, but instead Ramonda broke down even more.
"Mother, we saved her. She is alive." Shuri repeated, thinking that maybe she hadn't heard right.
"You barely saved her." Ramonda spat out, still furious that both Shuri and T'Challa had allowed the Dora Milaje to take her away.
It wasn't an appropriate reaction by any means, but it was the only thing Ramonda felt. Anger.
"She could have died because of you." She said next, just saying things to hurt her.
"What?" Shuri's previously hopeful eyes watered at those words. She had just witnessed the most horrifying sight. Her second mother was basically dead. And she had to be the one to save her. And her mother was blaming her.
She stepped back, going further back into the lab.
Okoye, who had heard it all from behind the door, followed a crying Shuri to a corner in the lab where nobody would see them.
"She didn't mean that." Okoye insisted. She offered herself to Shuri, allowing her to come in for a hug. Shuri took the offeroffer, wrapping Okoye in a tight and anxious hug, even with all of the blood still on her.
"Because of me?" Shuri said, prompting Okoye to shake her head. "Shuri. She is in pain. She didn't mean it."
Shuri tried to nod, tried to agree with Okoye and reassure herself that her mother hadn't meant those words. But it didn't work, the tears doubling as yet another sentence went through her head.
"Give her a moment, Shuri." Tears were in Okoye's eyes too. Seeing Shuri emotional and seeing your blood on her triggered the emotions up.
You and her had a close bond too. You had trained her to become General when your reign is over, truly believing in her capabilities. You had basically taught her everything that she had used to her the position, older techniques that were never taught in training.
Seeing you in your state was shocking to her too.
"She's going to be fine,fine, " she assured herself, while ShuriShuri nodded, letting go of her after some time.
Your body was relocated to Intensive Care once you were stitched and wrapped, Shuri staying with you to settle you in.
Thanks to Wakandan technology, you'd be awake in a matter of hours, but your pain levels were something Shuri anticipated would be excruciating, being hit with vibranium being very different than with a regular weapon.
Ramonda entered the room as Shuri was pondering, slowly approaching your bed while completelycompletely ignoring Shuri.
Shuri stood, going to leave.
"Mother, I-"
"-Shuri, please." Ramonda's face was fragile and her emotions were close to overflowing again. Her daughter's words could wait.
Shuri took that and left the room, not before hearing, "Tell the guards to leave."
The two Dora that had stood by the door, exchanged glances, before going with Shuri, not wanting to cross the former Queen after seeing her blow up.
◇□□□□□◇
10 Hours Later ...
The first thing you felt when your body allowed you to become conscious again was fire. Every muscle in your body felt like it was on fire, the burning sensation reaching parts of your body that you had yet to discover before. You felt every organ in you working to keep you alive. Your heart was pounding trying to get blood throughout your body, extreme chest pain that felt like it was killing you being an effect of this.
You let out a loud scream that pierced through the ears of anybody that was in the room with you. Your eyes shot open but you couldn't move beyond that, your body feeling like a kettle boiling your insides.
You looked around to see that you were in the palace infirmary. The intensive care section; you could tell by the sign that hung by the door.
Tears slipped out of your eyes and were quickly streaming down from the pain that you were in.
"Y/n..." Came Ramonda's voice as she appeared seemingly out of nowhere and wiped your tears, trying to calm you down. There was a heavy relief in your mind when it finally registered to you.
She was alive and okay. You thanked Bast as that was all that you could wish for. For her to be safe and for your pain to be worth something.
That wasn't to say that you were content with the amount of pain you were in. Out of all of your years being a Dora, even the worst injuries had not hurt this much. This was a different type of pain. One that reminded you of death even though you'd never died before.
"My warrior, breathe for me." She said, offering her hand for you to take. It took everything in you to but you took her hand in yours and used it to balance the pain. Ramonda easily tolerated the intense squeezing of her hand, feeling that it was the least that she could do.
Trying your best to breathe as the tears still streamed down, a knock came at the door.
Ramonda turned, conflicted. Not wanting to leave your side as you were in your own world from this pain but also not wanting to welcomewanting to welcome people in to see you like this unless absolutely necessary. After weighing her optionsoptions, she reluctantly decided to let the knocker in.
"Come in." She declared, and the door opened to Shuri entering the room with a vile of a pink liquid.
"Mother, the pain reliever is finished. She needs to drink some of this for temporary relief." Shuri hesitantly walked toward her mother and handed her the vile, sparing a glimpse at your tranced state. The day had been one of new experiences for the child, not only seeing you, her 3rd parent nearly die in her hands on the operating table, but also seeing her mother's reaction to your near death.
She was no stranger to the close bond that you and her mother shared but seeing the way Ramonda so quickly crumbled into herself, losing it on everyone around as your heart rate quickly dropped. It was a sight that even Shuri was not prepared to see. Her mother hit rock bottom.
Ramonda gave her daughter a look, one that asked for privacy, knowing that she would only be able to talk to her daughter about the day's events when you were peacefully asleep.
Shuri got the message, slowly shifting to leave, before walking out of the door.
Alone again, Ramonda turned to you, who was squeezing her hand only moderately less. Your eyes were closed again, as your breathing required all of your energy.
"Y/n, you need to drink this. Your heart is under a lot of strain and it could lead to cardiac arrest again." She croaked out through the tears that you only now realised were on her face.
'Cardiac Arrest Again?' You thought.
The injury to your body was worse than you thought. You couldn't imagine being that close to death. But you did feel like your heart had stopped for a while, and was now struggling to catch up.
But the liquid in the vile looked anything but pleasant, and you weren't one for putting concoctions in your body. You couldn't help but question whether you were willing to ingest it.
"Y/n, Please!" her voice brought you back to reality, her pleads for you to drink the concoction breaking your already weak heart.
You slowly opened your mouth and allowed her to pour some of the liquid in your mouth, swallowing to taste the worst thing you had ever tasted in your life. If it hadn't brought you almost instant relief, you would have passed out from the added nausea along with the burning pain.
Your face relaxed, letting Ramonda know that it was working. She breathed out a heavy sigh, sitting down next to you as your grip loosened. The two of you sat there for several minutes while you waited to see how much relief the pain reliever could give you.
Ramonda soaked in your alive presence, refusing to let go of it now that she had seen it when it was not alive. The both of you pondered to yourselves, thinking of what you could say to each other after such a major event.
When you could tell that your pain relief had peaked, with most of your fiery pain being reduced to aches, you opened your eyes and you cleared your throat.
"Are you okay, My Queen?" You groaned, your voice extremely hoarse.
Your best friend looked at you with eyes of complete disbelief. "Am I okay? No. I just witnessed your heart stop and nearly not start again." She blurted out, a bitbit agitated that you would even ask that. Seeing you flinch at her words she sighed out an apology.
"What I meant to say is that your question is irrelevant, Y/n. My wellbeing means nothing right now. " She insisted.
You shook your head, "Your state of being does not mean nothing, Ramonda."
"This is no time for compliments, Y/n. What you did was reckless and nearly killed you. You're what matters right now."
"Doing my job was reckless? You've never been one to judge someone for simply doing their job." You stated, not wanting to argue with her but also getting more and more annoyed with her being upset with you for protecting her.
"You did your job as my bodyguard, yes. But what about your job as my closest companion? You're itching to save me would have meant nothing if you had died!" Her voice increased in volume, the tension in the room building quickly.
"WHY would you even do that, Y/N!" She yelled now, and it all just bubbled over.
You lost all sense and the words that you'd so deeply wanted to declare for the last several decades finally came out.
"Because I love you, okay! I love you! THAT'S WHY I DID IT." You argued back at her, which surprised her considering your state. She was so caught up in that, she almost missed your declaration.
"You love me?" She said, requesting for you to explain yourself. You stayed silent, refusing to repeat nor expand on the words that had slipped out completely accidentally.
You could feel your heart racing, and Ramonda saw the distress in your face. She squeezed your hand to tell you to breathe; and you did.
"Forget it." You huffed, trying to move to face away from her but failing miserably.
After a few calm breaths, "Just don't say that your wellbeing means nothing. Not as I sit in this condition because I wanted to do everything to save it." You changed the course of the conversation almost instantly. Ramonda, although wanting so desperately for you not to, understood why it felt that you had to.
"I'm sorry for saying that. It was an inconsiderate thing to say, after..." She couldn't even bring herself to finish her words.
You looked deeply into her eyes, moving your free hand to sit on top of your interlocked ones. Immediately, tears developed and fell, both of you crying silently.
◇□□□□◇
15 hours after the attack
Shuri sat in the laboratory, still shaking from seeing what she had. It was a lot for an 18 year old to handle.
T'Challa sat next to her, less shaken physically, but mentally his head was in the clouds.
"How did she look?" He asked his sister, as he had left shortly once you were confirmed as alive, needing to get back to America to finish looking at everything before false information spread. He had fought off reporters for hours, answering questions that lacked actual importance. He had come back as soon as possible and had been sitting there for an hour.
"Not great. But I barely saw her properly anyway, Mother was all I could focus on. Her beads indicate that she is fine now, though." Shuri replied, looking off into the distance.
After much debate with herself, Shuri finally brought herself to ask her brother some very important questions.
"T'Challa, have you ever seen Mother like that before?"
The king nodded his head, immediately. "With Ma? Definitely."
"Never with Father?" Shuri continued. She wasn't sure why she was even asking, already sure of the answer she was going to receive.
"She would be worried sick when Baba came home hurt, but it never compared to when Aunt Y/n would come back hurt." T'Challa explained, reflecting back on the times when you or his father would be severely injured, and how differently she would react to each of you.
"When Baba came back hurt, she would stay strong for us and the country, and then when she knew he was okay, she would fall into herself for a few hours, and then stand strong once again." He spoke to his sister, and Shuri listened, knowing that he had more experience seeing these instances than her.
"When Ma would come back hurt..." he shook his head at the memories ",she would fall apart first, then stay that way for a while even after she knew that she was okay. Mother has never been able to stay strong when it comes to Ma."
"Why is that?" Shuri asked another question. T'Challa wasn't used to this, Shuri usually being far smarter and more knowledgeable in the things they talked about.
He thought for a second.
"Mother loved Baba. Her struggle with his death has shown us that, but there has always been more than that with Aunt Y/n. Something much stronger."
"It is almost like they are one person, and when Aunt Y/n is hurt, it feels to Mother that she is hurt as well." He explained more to himself than to you.
"Is it because of romantic feelings?" Shuri asked finally.
"That, I can not answer. Only mother could tell you that, Shuri." With that, T'Challa stood up, knowing that he needed to go and continue his duties as King.
He left the princess with one last statement.
"Mother will be fine, Shuri. She just needs time and our support."
Shuri nodded in understanding.
Watching her brother enter the elevator to exit the lab, she rose from her position, resuming her monitoring of your heart rate.
There was nobody else in there, as she had dismissed all work for the day when your body had arrived, so it was completely silent besides the ambient sounds that the working machines released. The atmosphere resembled that of when she was working through the night and someone would have to come in there to tell her that it was far past an appropriate hour, and she needed to go to her headquarters to sleep.
"Griot, where is my mother?" Shuri asked the AI.
"Queen Ramonda is located in the 1st intensive care ward in the infirmary with Y/n, Princess." The voice replied.
Shuri nodded, having figured that her mother wouldn't have moved much since she had left.
Deciding to listen to her brother and offer her struggling mother some support, she kept the screen monitoring your status up, but moved on to leave the lab as well, to go and offer a helping hand.
◇□□□□◇
Ramonda looked at you as you slept, your hands still interlaced. Your tears had gradually stopped an hour ago, and you'd been asleep for almost that long.
She analysed your sleeping state. She could tell by the scrunch in your face that the pain was returning, and she knew that you'd be back to your burning state soon, so she decided that it was time for her to quickly leave and retrieve some of your and her necessities, because it was going to be a long couple of nights.
Just as she was opening the door to leave, seeing that the guards had listened and not stayed stationed outside of the room, she saw Shuri approaching with a large tray in her hands.
Shuri looked up, surprised that her mother had even opened the door, yet alone went out of the room.
"Mother!" She said, "I was just coming to offer you some food. Ma's vitals seemed strong in the lab so I assumed that you would be relaxed enough to eat something by now."
Ramonda looked lovingly at her daughter, looking down at the tray once again.
"I didn't cook it, Mother." Shuri finally let out, causing Ramonda to laugh at her daughter's self-deprecatingself-deprecating statement.
"Thank Bast for that." Ramonda joked, receiving a dramatic gasp in return accompanied with a relieved smile.
"I was just going to retrieve a few things from my chambers for the night." Ramonda explained, reluctant to say much more.
"I can do that, Mother." Shuri offered.
Her mother shook her head, "No need for that, my child. I was also going to pass by Y/n's headquarters to retrieveretrieve a few of her things upon my return"
"I can do that too, Mother. Just tell me what you need." Shuri offered once more. Seeing the look on Ramonda's face, she offered her own expression of reassurance.
"Mother... I am here to help, nothing more. I understand your reaction from earlier. I might have been the same way had I had the history that you and Aunt Y/n have. Go be with her. I'll get everything."
Ramonda nodded, finally listing all of the things she was going to retrieve, also making sure to clarify where everything was located.
"Shuri." Ramonda said, with the tray now in her hands, her body headed in the direction of your room again.
"Yes mother."
"Thank you... and... I'm sorry for taking my emotions out on you, earlier. That was not right."
Shuri smiled an accepting smile and went on her way, Ramonda doing the same.
As she entered your room, you were shifting more than before, which gave her a bit more peace of mind, knowing that this too would pass.
She just hoped that when it did, you wouldn't take back the words that you had said. And if you didn't, she hoped that you also meant to say them in the way that she interpreted them.
Her feelings were as mixed as the first day she had just spent with T'Chaka before they started courting. Only this time around, she knew a lot more about what she really wanted.
◇□□□□□◇
Three weeks later
A knock came at your door and you already knew who it was.
"Come in."
Ramonda walked in, wearing her much more casual attire. She hadn't worn anything formal since the event that had taken place all those weeks ago.
She gave you a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes, another thing that you hated about being hurt.
Seeing her for the past fortnight had been extremely tough on you. She was trying so hard to be strong for you but you had caught her crying while she thought you were asleep multiple times.
Your conversations hadheld very little depth to them, both of you never mentioning the words that you had so foolishly yelled out but rather just talking about your recovery.
Your injuries were healing well, which you were grateful for. You just had to move a lot slower thanthan you were used to, and you barely left your headquarters without assistance, Ramonda having reprimanded you when she caught you trying to go to the kitchen by yourself during the first week.
The only real difference between Ramonda on that day and Ramonda now was that she allowed other people to see you. More specifically Shuri and the people that you felt were important to you.
Your heart was still at high risk, so she was wary of too many people overwhelming you and you possibly having more complications, but regardless, things were getting better.
Ramonda looked at you and satyou sitting up in your bed, choosing to sit on the edge of the bed on your left side. The silence was deafening. You could see that she had so much to say, but she wasn't saying anything.
"My Queen," you took her hand and placed it between both of yours. You hadn't used that term in 3 weeks, so her face relaxed at your attempt at reassurance.
"My warrior..." She started, smiling a more genuine smile now. You reciprocated. "I wanted to talk with you. About a very important matter."
"I didn't go out last night. Whoever you saw was someone completely different." You defended your actions from the previous night, assuming that that was the thing she was confronting you about.
She laughed. "No, that's not what I'm here to talk about. Although your defence is terrible, and we'll probably talk about that later."
"Y/n." She cleared her throat, needing you to hear her as clearly as possible.
"You said something 3 weeks ago, when we were alone." She ended up saying. You shut your eyes in defeat. You'd hoped that what you said could be ignored forever.
"Ramonda, I'm sorry. I crossed a line with all of what I said. I was just so high on adrenaline and things that were never supposed to come out, ended up coming out."
"So it was true."
You kept quiet at that, too embarrassed to admit that it was the truest thing about you.
"How long?" Is all she asked next. You understood exactly what she was asking.
"A tremendously long time."
"So, for years."
You shook your head. "More like for decades." DetachingDetaching your hand from hers, you pushed yourself out of the bed.
Going to the corner to put on some half decent clothing, not wanting to go out in your pyjamas.
Ramonda watched you as she pondered over the decades that you had just described.
Putting on your top, you slowly turned to leave the room, the tension building more than it ever had.
"Y/n wait!" Ramonda called out when she finally realisedrealised what you were doing.
It was too late though. You were out of the door, heading to the gardens outside.
You weren't very fast, so she easily caught up to you, making you feel even more embarrassed.
You turned a corner, and she continued to follow you. Up until you entered the garden and needed to sit down. On the bench.
"Ramonda, please just leave me to be alone."
"No, Y/n. I nearly lost you not even a few weeks ago, and then you sprung a confession out of nowhere that has led me to question many things. I won't leave you alone."
"Why do you even care so much? I apologisedapologised and explained that it was all adrenaline."
She got caught in her own words again, not knowing what to say to that. She sat down next to you, looking down.
"I care because the truth is that I love you too, Y/n." Ramonda whispered. You looked at her in shock. "I'm not sure for how long, or if it's been buried deep down for years since our young adulthood. It's all just so complicated."
"Ramonda." You interrupted her. "You loved T'Chaka. You can't deny that he was the love of your life. It'sIt's okay to admitto admit that you don'tdon't have feelings for me. I'm notI'm not a fragile child anymore" you lied to her. Sure you weren't a child anymore, but you were just as fragile if not more. You knew that her rejection would break you but it was time. Over 40 years of waiting was weighing in on you.
"He might have been the love of my life, but he has never been my soulmate." She declared.
You let off aoff a breathbreath of disbelief.
She said, "You have always been the real soul that I was tethered to, Y/n."
"You're just saying that."
She took your chin in her hand, forcing you to look directly at her. "What will it take for you to see that I'm not lying. I love you with everything in me, Y/n."
Tears welled up in both of your eyes. It was like deja vu, crying together again.
Your heart was beating fast now, your body not knowing how to respond.
Ramonda hesitated, but brought her face close to yours, bringing her lips to brush yours softly, allowing you to rip away if you wanted to.
You didn't.
Instead,you let her kiss you. Her lips were soft, and she was trying to be delicate with you.
All of your emotion went into the kiss, the decades of longing for that very moment not being forgotten.
Ramonda came closer, bringing you in for an embrace as she let her lips depart from yours.
You reluctantly split, and laid your head on her shoulder, feeling like a school child. Tears slipped down, falling on Ramonda's back as she hugged you tighter.
"I have waited my whole life for this moment. But still. I'm scared, Ramonda" You were honest now, your fears of this all being too much, while also being scared of none of it being real.
She caressed your back, coaxing you into letting the clearly pent up tears fall.
"I know, sthandwa. I'm scared too. But we're going to take this slowly. I promise."
Your journey took longer than most, and although it took such a long time and a lot of painful events to get there, you both couldn't help but think of the same thing.
'I'd do it all over again.'