Song for chapter: Just A Kiss ~ Lady A
SAGE
My knee bounces erratically under the table and my eyes snap to the door every time the damn bell rattles whenever someone leaves or comes in. I'm on my second cup of coffee, technically third, if you count the one I had before leaving the apartment this morning.
Checking my watch, I let out a long frustrated sigh. Some things never change. Even after eleven years, being punctual is still a problem. Doubts begin to creep in as I wait for Obie's mom, Birdie, to arrive.
The phone call from her a few days ago was surreal to say the least. She found my name and number listed because of the gym. It took me a few seconds to catch up with what was happening because I didn't believe it was her. We didn't exactly leave things on friendly terms considering how and why she left.
Things weren't ideal when we were together but I tried my hardest to make her happy. It wasn't glamorous being new young parents, trying to figure out what Obie wanted or needed when he would cry endlessly some nights. I also wasn't home a lot—working and going to school to get my business degree—all the while we were still trying to get to know each other, too.
I set my cup of coffee down, and sense as someone walks by and sits down across from me. Her once sandy brown curly hair is not as long, and rests just above her shoulders, and is now dyed blonde. Her huge sunglasses hide her eyes, and the winter hat she's wearing covers most of her head, but I easily remember her smile.
"Hey, good-lookin." She tucks in her bottom lip with her teeth, something she did whenever she was nervous.
"You're late."
Her mouth curves down to a pout. "Still so serious. I thought being a dad would have made you see the lighter things in life." She thinks her comment is teasing, and her frown lifts to a smile, but my blood begins to boil.
"You wanted me to hear you out, so I'm here. But you've cut into your twenty minutes with your inability to be on time and you're down to twelve."
Birdie scoffs and then bursts out laughing. "Damn, you're even more serious now if that's possible!"
A memory of her laughing in the same manner flashes in my mind— after I convinced her to meet with me to reconsider the divorce— and I broke down in front of her. I swore then never to cry in front of a woman I cared about again, but as Obie grew I didn't want him to think it was not okay to express his feelings no matter how uncomfortable it could be.
The waitress stops by our table, notepad and pen ready. "What can I get for you, hon?"
"Oh, just water with lemon, please." Birdie flashes her a smile. After the waitress scurries away she focuses on me again. "I'm moving back, well, not permanently but for the summer because this cold weather is not good for my skin. You look great, what's your skin care routine?"
I can't help the chortle that comes out. "That's it? You wanted me to know you're buying a vacation home in Chicago?"
She thanks the waitress who sets down her cup with lemon in it and then takes a long drink. "I've had a lot of time to think about things."
"Eleven years to be exact."
She huffs out a breath, folding her arms. "I want to see Obie."
I force myself to remain calm even though it's hard to remember how to breathe all of a sudden. "No. You gave him up or did you forget? You left him alone, with a fucking note." The words strain through my clenched jaw.
"We've already gone over this, Sage. I panicked. I was wrong. It's no excuse, but I was young and not ready to be a mom let alone to be married." She leans in whispering, her eyes dart around us behind the lens of her shades. "And you and I...when it was good it was...great, but we just moved so fast, you know?"
Things start working their way in place as I put the pieces together and I shake my head disbelieving it. "So, now you're ready? Is that it? You're moving back to start a relationship with Obie? Forget it." I stand, tossing some cash on the table and head out of the small diner.
"Sage!"
Anger and resentment are swirling in a raging storm inside of me. I should hit the gym before heading home to drain this out of me before going home. Mei wouldn't mind if I took another thirty minutes.
"Sage!" Birdie holds my arm back. "Please, stop." She hurries to block me. "I messed up. But he's my son and I'm ready to fight for him if you want it to be like that."
My hands clench at my sides. "How dare you. How fucking dare you!" I take a deep breath before continuing. "After you leave without looking back, you move on and find it's not everything you hoped it was, so you come back here looking for what? Fulfillment? Well, guess what? It doesn't work like that. You can't pop in and out of a child's life like that. Obie doesn't even know you."
"Every child needs a mother."
"Are you telling me he fits in your life? How are you going to explain you have a son out of nowhere all of a sudden? And did you stop to think how this will affect him?"
"I'm not changing my mind about this, Sage."
I hate the panic that begins to consume me. For so long I've done everything I could to take care of and protect Obie. It's an awful realization that this could be out of my control. I'm clueless on how it works when a parent wants to re-establish parental rights after giving them up and my mind starts running through all the possibilities at once. I haven't been apart from Obie since he was born and the idea of having to miss time with him is gut wrenching.
Birdie's voice softens. "Please just think about it. My lawyer can talk to yours and we can talk things out, come up with something that works for you, me and Obie."
"Have you thought of the possibility that he may not want to?"
She takes a step back like my words have a physical impact on her. "Why wouldn't he? I mean, unless you've talked badly about me..."
"Please." Sarcasm drips from my voice and I narrow my eyes at her. "He asked me where you went and I told him the truth...I don't know. Other times he asks me what you were like."
"What did you tell him?"
I glance around the parking lot, feeling depleted after the rollercoaster of emotions. "He has a picture of us in the drawer of his nightstand. He doesn't think I know he has it. So he knows he got his curly hair from you." She smiles back at me. "But you look different now that you cut and dyed your hair...I told him when we met I noticed your smile first. That you were fun, and hated cooking." I stuff my hands in the pouch of my hoodie. We stand there in a strange silence. It's not awkward, but it's not comfortable either.
"Look, before we get further into this with lawyers and what not, I want to talk to him first. I don't want to put him through anything he doesn't want or need to. Regardless of how you or I feel. He comes first. Always."
She doesn't say anything for a moment but then agrees with a nod.
____________
"This thing is choking me," Obie complains, tugging at the bow tie that took me a ridiculous amount to get right. I run some pomade through his dark curls to tame them down a bit. "Do I have to wear it?"
"Yes, that's the dress requirement for weddings sometimes." I tell him, straightening my own tie. I watch him for a moment and then decide maybe it's a good time to bring up his mom.
"I have to tell you something."
"You like Joanna."
"What?" I stop fixing my hair to look at him through the reflection of the mirror.
"It's pretty obvious when you told me she was coming with us tonight. You should have asked Oli, too, then we could have doubled," he says, casually.
I laugh. "Well, that wasn't what I was going to tell you. And we're just friends."
"Sure..."
Side eyeing him, I can't help smiling. "Anyway, what I was going to talk to you about is pretty serious...it's about your mom." He stops messing with the tie and turns to face me so I do the same. "She called and wants to meet with you...spend some time with you."
My heart rate begins to pick up observing different emotions running through his face. "Tell me what you're thinking? What are you feeling?"
He gnaws his lower lip and then looks down at his hands. "What if she doesn't like me?"
"Impossible."
"Will you come with me?"
"If you want me to."
"Does she want to live with us?"
I shake my head. "No. It's not like that, Obie."
"So, is this going to be where I have to sometimes live with her, like what Justin does with his dad?" He asks with his eyes wide and my heart hurts at the anxiousness in his voice.
"Not necessarily. We're not sure on the details yet, but I wanted to see how you felt first." I explain and can't stop myself from cupping his face to ease his worry.
"Can I think about it?"
"Of course." I squeeze his shoulder and inhale deeply turning to look at us through the mirror. "I think we're ready."
"Can I go in with you to get Joanna?"
"Sure."
Once we are outside of Joanna's and Oli's apartment building, Obie excitement is contagious. But I tell myself to calm down, even though it was less than twenty four hours that Joanna and I were dancing and laughing together. I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but I like how I feel when I'm around her. She's easy to talk to considering it's only been a few weeks since she literally stumbled into my life.
"Which one's her door?" Obie asks when we step off the elevator.
I check my phone to make sure I get the number correct. "It's number 215."
"It's over here." Obie points with excitement. "Can I knock?"
"Go for it." I smile, meeting up with him.
Oli answers the door with a slice of pizza in her mouth. "Hey Coach, looking guapisimo! Didn't think you could top last night's look, but damn. Wait till you see JoJo though, you're gonna shi—"
"Oli, I'd like you to meet my son, Obie." I cut her off, before she gets carried away with her use of expletives.
"¡Hola, Obie! You probably already know this but you got a pretty awesome Pop."
"He's alright." Obie responds, dodging my hand wanting to ruffle his curls. And then his eyes go wide and his mouth drops open. "Wow..."
I follow his gaze and I'm sure my face mirrors his. Joanna is breathtaking in a floor-length pale pink gown. The plunging neckline draws you in to her but then your attention is caught with the stem-showing slit down the side of her left leg.
"Hey, Coach." She gives me a dazzling smile that makes my mouth go dry. As much as I keep encouraging her to use my name—liking how it sounds when she does—she still falls back to coach.
"Dad!" Obie yells at me and I realize everyone is staring at me. I blink, snapping out of my daze.
"Right, uh, Joanna..." Why am I'm fucking breathless? It's like I just finished running a damn marathon. "You...the dress...your hair..." Someone shoot me right now and maybe my brain will restart.
"Yeesh, dad, what's wrong with you?" Obie adds to my humiliation; my face is on fire. He turns to Joanna. "I think he's trying to say you look like a beautiful princess." He smiles and holds his hand out to her. "Hi, I'm Obie."
"I'm so happy to finally meet you, Obie. You're very handsome." She takes his hand and he lifts her hand to kiss the back of it. Joanna rests her other hand on her chest, with a small gasp and chuckles looking over at Oli who's clutching at her chest, too, while still eating her pizza with her other hand and mouths the words, Oh my God.
The sound of jingling bells coming from the open balcony door grabs our attention and charging toward us are two large English bulldogs.
"Cool, dogs!" Obie exclaims.
Joanna makes a clicking sound and the dogs come to a sliding stop in front of us. "Obie, these are, Maverick and Goose." She commands the dogs who look up at her with pleading eyes.
"Can I pet them?"
"Sure, if it's okay with your dad." She says and Obie looks back at me. Not wanting to look like a complete douche, I give in with a nod, worrying at the amount of drool dripping down from both of their snouts. But I'm impressed by how well behaved they are, not trying to nip or even lick Obie as he rubs their ears and each of their heads.
"Now Coach, make sure JoJo gets back at a reasonable hour, none of this two a.m. sneaking in, sh–crap." Oli glances at Obie with a wink.
Joanna laughs loudly. "Hey, I wasn't judging you when you did the walk of shame at ten a.m. this morning, cuz!" And then her eyes widen and she looks at me. "Not that I expect to be out late or staying anywhere overnight. You know, because...Obie has school and we have...work."
"Is this what happens when you like someone? You forget how to talk like my dad and Joanna?" Obie asks Oli.
"Got me, kid. I talk just fine with people I like, what about you?" She asks in return.
"Same." He agrees.
I clear my throat. "Alright well, we should head out to make it on time. Oli, see you tomorrow."
"I'll be there." She winks at me before taking another bite of her pizza. "Have fun cuz, don't do anything I wouldn't do. Actually do what I would do and get crazy."
Joanna laughs, shaking her head and then her smile widens as Obie holds his arm out to her and she takes it while I follow behind them.
__________
"This is wonderful!" Joanna's eyes glitter with amazement walking into the fancy banquet hall after the ceremony.
"Dad, look at that chocolate fountain!" Obie jumps next to me and starts making a beeline for it.
But I hold him back. "Whoa, hold on a sec, bud. First, let's say hi to your grandpa then you can have all the chocolate you want, within reason." I add, noticing how fixated he is on it. We make our way to the small line of people waiting to congratulate the happy couple.
Turning to Joanna, I enjoy the way she smiles at me, making my heart beat stronger. "Listen, I...my father and I...were not exactly close. In fact, until this last week, we typically only see each other once every couple of years, if that. It's been that way since he left my mom, sister and me when I was younger."
The questioning look on her face tells me she's wondering what the hell we're doing here. "He stopped by last week asking for me to be here, specifically for Obie. He wants to start over and move forward with our relationship, but honestly, I'm only here for Obie. And I..." I swallow, looking down when she reaches for my hand. "I didn't want to do this alone."
"You're not alone." She squeezes my hand, standing closer to me as her other hand rubs down my arm.
"Sage."
My eyes lift toward the sound of my father's voice, noticing the line has moved.
"I'm glad you could be here, son." I reluctantly let go of Joanna's hand to shake his. "Sage, this is Marisol. Marisol, this is my son Sage, and my grandson Obie."
Marisol smiles warmly at us. Her dark hair is peppered with silver and her eyes and face show the lines of someone who enjoys laughter.
"Sage, Obie, I've heard so many wonderful things about you both. I'm so happy you are here." She then turns to Joanna, smiling.
"This is my friend, Joanna." I announce, and Joanna leans forward, kissing both sides of Marisol's face. They seem to have some sort of understanding between each other and begin talking to one another in Spanish.
"Marisol is from Mexico. She came to the U.S. to study when she was younger, got a degree in business and opened a panaderia or bakery." My father tells me, with pride in his face. "The dessert table is from her store."
"Mr. Kingston, it was a beautiful ceremony. I wish you and Marisol a lifetime of happiness." Joanna says before she kisses both sides of my father's face.
"Thank you, Joanna. I'm happy to meet you and hope to get to know you more. Please enjoy yourselves." My father's eyes crinkle at the edges with sincerity.
We move on to keep from holding up the line and find a table to sit while Obie makes his way to the table full of all kinds of desserts adorning every space on it.
"Do you want to get something to eat?" I ask Joanna.
"Yes, please, I'm starving."
After we grab an assortment of things to eat we bring it back to the table and Obie's already half way done with his plate, his chin smeared with chocolate.
"It's so good." He grins at me.
"Please drink some water, all the sugar is going to give you a stomachache."
Joanna chuckles. "Lighten up, Coach. Something tells me you don't have sweets in your house."
"We don't." Obie answers with a mouthful of dessert.
"Here, try this." She tears off a piece of the pastry on her plate and holds her hand out to me. "I don't know if you noticed with the tres leches cake, but one of the reasons I love Mexican pastries is they are not overly sugary."
"This is an empanada. Basically like a turn-over. They can either be savory or sweet. This one's filled with fresas y crema, strawberries and cream." She feeds me the small piece, but I hold her hand and lick the cream on her thumb. Her eyes linger on my mouth as I eat the dessert.
I lick my lips. "That is good. What else are you going to feed me?"
It's amusing to see her flustered and I love seeing the blush rise on her cheeks as she cups her own face, like she's feeling her own temperature, looking down at her plate.
"Do you want to try a taco?"
"If you're offering, I'd love to try your taco." I pull my lips in, stifling a laugh when her eyes widen as big as saucers and she looks around almost in a panic.
"Sage! I can't believe you said that!" Her expression is still shell-shocked, but she chuckles and leans in whispering. "Friends don't talk to friends like that."
"You should have worn a different dress if you wanted me to think of you as a friend."
Even though she's still blushing, the smile on her face is sending the blood rushing down fast.
"I don't get it," Obie says, watching our interaction.
"Don't worry about it, it's not funny," Joanna tells him quickly while giving me a pointed look.
The emcee announces the first dance and my father leads Marisol to the center of the dance floor and begins a simple waltz to the song Sea of Love. Obie asks to get more food and I let him, hoping that soaks up some of the sugar he's inhaled.
"You okay?" Joanna asks while I watch my father.
"Yes...but I can't help feeling like I'm betraying my mom somehow. Being here after he walked out on her, on us." I lean back, folding my arms. "He left shortly after she was diagnosed with cancer...later on when I was older, he tried to reconnect. He told me it was too painful to see my mom become a shadow of the woman he loved. He couldn't watch her die...It was hard hearing the vows knowing he didn't uphold his part with my mom. I really hope it's different for Marisol's sake; she seems like a nice person."
"How old were you when he left?"
"The same age as when my mom died. Fifteen." Memories start flooding in with how everything changed within a matter of months. Inhaling deeply, I let out my breath slowly. "With my father leaving, her health declined rapidly."
"Do you think his guilt kept him away?"
"I couldn't even pretend to know what goes on in his head." Joanna winces at my blunt response.
"Hey stranger!"
Looking over my shoulder, I smile at my sister Sadie with her husband Tim and my three year old nephew, Ben, approaching our table. I stand to hug them and then Obie comes running over to us to greet them.
"I was trying to get a hold of you before the ceremony, but I'm convinced you were ignoring me," she says with an exaggerated wink and smiles widely at Joanna. I reach for her hand to introduce her.
"Gosh, you're gorgeous." Sadie tells Joanna who returns the compliment. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Joanna. I can't wait to hear how you met my cranky ass little brother, but this mamma is hungry after a six hour flight, trying to keep a three year old from having a meltdown on the plane then rushing to get ready and still managed to be late!"
She looks over the dance floor and watches as our father spins then dips Marisol before the song ends. "He looks happy, right?"
"Yeah."
"Did you talk to him already?"
"Yeah."
Sadie snorts. "Care to elaborate or do I have to get the scoop from Joanna."
"Oh, I don't know much," Joanna responds, then turns to Obie. "Obie, want to dance?"
"Sure!" Obie wipes his mouth with the back of his hand while I grimace, making a mental note to go over manners and etiquette in more detail with him. We watch as they begin to dance to an oldies song.
"How long have you been dating and conveniently forgot to tell me?" My sister elbows me hard.
I rub at my sore ribs. "We're not together, we're friends. Sort of. She's a client, she's doing a boot camp."
"Hmm," Sadie says, observing me. "You like her. A lot. You can't tell me otherwise."
"She just got out of a long term relationship. She's not looking for anything serious." Feeling like I have to explain the dynamics between us.
"Maybe that's what you need too. Something fun."
"I can't do that when I have Obie. He'll get attached."
"I get that, but you need to put yourself out there, Sage. Obie's not going to be a little kid forever. And wouldn't you want him to learn and observe how to navigate through the ups and downs of relationships from you instead of his friends, T.V. or the internet?"
I never really thought of it that way.
"I guess so." I smile as Obie tries to spin Joanna but she has to duck because of their height difference in her high heels. "I'm going to cut in."
"You do that, little brother." Sadie winks at me.
I tap on Obie's shoulder, "May I cut in?"
Obie shrugs and lets me take over, rushing back to the dessert table. I shake my head smiling. "Thank you for coming tonight, Joanna."
"You're welcome. It's a nice change of pace from the wedding yesterday." She chuckles.
"Did Oli really get home today?"
She nods. "Yeah, wedding celebrations for us can go for two days, sometimes longer."
We continue dancing and then she surprises me when she asks me, "Are you and Max dating?"
I look down at her. Her eyes are slow to meet mine. "No. We didn't really have a connection."
"Oh."
"What about you and Rick?"
"Um...we're going out again on Tuesday," she tells me, looking away. I don't know if I hid my disappointment or not, hating the thought of her going out with him again. And then she adds. "Just as friends, because I'm not looking for anything serious, you know?"
"Right."
Later that night when I drop Joanna off, Obie is fast asleep in the car.
"I can run in, you shouldn't leave him alone in the car," she says after looking back at him.
"At least let me walk you to the door of the building," I tell her before hopping out of my jeep to help her out.
She turns to me before reaching for the door. "Thanks for the lovely night, Coach."
"Sage." I correct her, taking a step closer.
"Right, Sage." She repeats quietly, looking down at her keys in her hands. Her breath comes out in small puffs of white clouds in the cold night.
"Thank you again for coming." Thoughts run through my mind, that I shouldn't be having, watching her gnaw on her lower lip. "Joanna, I..."
Her eyes lift to mine, the innocence in them as she waits for me to continue is entrancing. With words stuck in my throat, I envelop her against me in a hug. My eyes close when her arms come around me, too. The embrace is calming, and warm but she begins to pull away all too soon. I tighten my hold just a fraction not wanting to let her go yet.
We stand there gazing into each other's eyes. I want to kiss her. Hell, I've been wanting to kiss her since we picked her up and now the desire is so strong, I don't want to fight it anymore.
Her eyes drop down to my mouth and I start to lean in pausing for a beat, her warm breath dances across my lips as her words about being friends come rushing to me in an instant. But to my surprise she starts to move forward and my heart begins to race.
And then my phone rings, causing her to startle.
Stepping back, her arms fall away from me as she blinks, shaking her head. Her eyes lift to mine as her eyebrows furrow together.
"I better go."
The non-stop ringing of my phone has her looking down at my pocket. "You should get that. Goodnight, Coach." She pulls the door open to her building and hurries across the lobby floor to the elevator without looking back.
Leaving me in the cold, completely flustered, and aroused as hell.