i'm aware. i'm aware of the fact that i'm not overweight. i'm aware that i'm not ugly for it. but when he calls me out everyday with ugly nicknames or just straight up says it, it makes me want to punch him to death. i'm not ugly, i'm not overweight or unhealthy. you're fucked up. you're the one that needs help. you're the one that blocks the way. whore ass.
i want to be confident in who i am. yes i'm not skinny. and i don't feel the need to be. or i just don't want to need to be skinny. it's just my fucking body. literally. i'm gonna die tomorrow why wouldn't i do it while adoring myself. why do i have to hate myself. i don't want to feel like i need to be worried about my looks, about my weight. but i feel like it. i feel like i have to care about it.
will no one will ever love me if i look the way i am? am i, unloveable? undesirable? unattractive?
in my mindset, i always say that i don't need to be loveable as long as i love me. but it's not enough. me trying my best to love myself when everyone around me highlights my looks all the time is not doing any good.
it's fine tho, i'll be fine <3